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Everything posted by SunnyNewDay

  1. I have my own way of doing this as well. I feel stuck in a scarcity mindset so I sometimes fear losing out on dating and having an active love life every time I go on a date or two and it falls through. I can get kind of anxious and put expectations on the experience and it makes me anxious and triggers all sorts of stuff in me. When I go through this and start to process it I then realize I'm afraid of being hurt or me hurting her when it's going well and I start to feel contently bored or numb. It's a weird cycle that repeats itself. The thing that confuses me some is I hold onto the mindsets and feelings of scarcity because I feel like I wouldn't take any action if I let them go. I'm afraid of working through some of this stuff cause I feel like I wouldn't take any action after. Anyone go through the same cycle as me?
  2. Thank you. I'll look over the chapters again and try doing it again in the morning next week.
  3. It's okay to take breaks. I'm doing one myself currently. Spirituality isn't just grinding and devotion if there are other aspects of life that need to be worked through and integrated. I think if you feel it's the right choice for you now, follow it. I think you shouldn't cut it all out though. Don't just stop meditating or praying or taking in theory. Just cut it back quite a bit. It's like the gym and getting strong. It's okay if you don't have time to train 2+ hours a day but just stopping training altogether leads to detraining. Same with spirituality in many regards. I say cut back and meditate for just 5-20 minutes once a day and maybe just read some theory at your own leisure every now and then. Don't just quit entirely. I'm actually doing the same. i used to meditate quite a bit but got stuck and realized the way out of this wasn't just more meditating and grinding and spiritual mumbo jumbo. We have our lives to work through and they are jsut as much a part of reality as spiritual journey. There are other aspects of my life that need to be worked through. So yeah, if you need some time off I think it's a good idea but just keep a little spiritual stuff going. Good luck!
  4. I need some help I got to L7 in the book but then stopped and don't know how to get back into it. I don't like sitting in half lotus cause my feet fall asleep. I also feel agitated to the the stuff l1-l7 and feel bored while doing it. am I doing something wrong?
  5. is it possible to have an active sex life if you don't drink or go to night clubs? I live in a pretty conservative country (eastern europe) and sort of dating and having sex outside of a relationship isn't as common as in the west. girls can make you wait for many dates and can be standoffish when it comes to sex.
  6. You are your best teacher The techniques we practice are the best teachers Avoid making gurus of people I think sharing techniques and theory is fine but a purity test of spirituality or trying to gage teachers in such a discussion is making them into gurus
  7. I want to improve my dating life and meet more women and have more sex. I think it's normal. I've tried making it a top priority for me but it really triggered me and blew me out and put me on a break from dating for months. Not sure why it happened exactly but I have a lot of built up stuff regarding dating and women. I'm not really sure how to go about it since getting my toes back in really sets me off. I think I have so much anxiety and negative stuff built up around this topic. I want to burst this bubble though. I also want to enjoy the process. I think learning attraction, dating and meeting women should be fun not some overly technical thing. I'm fine with it being perhaps a bit uncomfortable and awkward and I'm fine with not always knowing what to do but I can't stand how demoralizing and boring it can be. I think I need to heal different aspects of myself along with trying to work on this domain. Anyone have a similar experience as me? One where you have take time off and feel really emotional and raw about growing in this domain?
  8. news flash: osho wasn't enlightened there's a difference between someone who has altered their consciousness through meditation and a person who has went beyond and become actually enlightened / achieved nibbana
  9. Having tried to fix my life problems with meditation I will say that for me meditation alone is not a fix all for life problems. It isn't even a fix all for emotional issues. It's an important habit because it can help you understand yourself more and your emotions and thus this can help you make the right decisions for yourself. There is more to life than this. The actions you make off the mat are probably more important than actually meditating. I think a proper and really deeply integrated meditation habit will be one which really merges all aspects of life, action, morality and awareness together.
  10. It really appeals to a lower conscious part of our mind and the emotions that come with it can be quite satisfying. There isn't anything wrong with listening to rap. I think however it can be a distraction and depending on the level of the person or where they're at they might benefit from slowly cutting it out.
  11. Don't check your phone or read a book. Follows the rules. If you get bored go for a walk and stay silent. Basically follow the rules and stay till the end.
  12. It's something you're going to have to learn on your own and honestly not even a minute of us lecturing you will be worth yours or our time. I'm just now slowly starting to come to this realization myself and it has taken a lot of pain to get here and I think there is still some more growing to do regarding this domain.
  13. Trauma release is going to be different for everyone. It isn't going to just require meditating to release usually and can take years to work through and process. All I can speak from is my own experience. Perhaps there are some who can just pick up some meditation technique and become all philosophical and resolves but considering where most of society is I'd say this is not a particularly effective way to approach trauma. That isn't to say meditation isn't needed but is usually only one part and the technique can vary greatly. For me a few important things I have found to help release trauma. - Being completely honest about how I feel. This can be done by building emotional awareness and getting in touch with them. If you are suppressing your emotions it's going to be hard to work on them. Same with thoughts. I've found a sort of radically honest journaling can really just let out some stuff but be prepared. If it is super personal stuff you don't want anyone reading you can burn the pages after in a controlled environment and even structure it as a release of sorts. - Breathing. For me shamanic breathing has played a part where it has opened me up emotionally. I don't really prioritize it as much in my life these days but I think I should reconsider this. - Doing something you're proud of outside of trauma healing. I've found taking up a skill or hobby I can be proud of and practicing it regularly can really help me feel better and also increase my discipline ability. It's important to have these sort of passions or "big rocks" I like to call them. Important things in your life that add value and grow you. For me it is fitness and weight lifting. - Faith. This is something that I find I often can forget to practice and it feels a bit mystical at times but it is actually incredibly powerful and I've noticed for me was missing and keeping me from making progress. I have faith and I pray sometimes. I admit to myself I am powerless and I ask what is greater than me to please listen and help me in the wisest of ways. Life felt so empty before I started practicing faith and praying. This is still new to me but I've had a few moments before where I called on faith and it answered my call. I've realized it's something I should do more regularly. I'm powerless without faith. Mindful surrendering and praying is very powerful.
  14. Both as well but audiobooks are very useful for me since I was diagnosed with adhd when I was younger and always struggled with reading. I can read but I have to do it with little distractions around me and can't take in too much at once. I like the feeling of intentionality I get when reading wisdom.
  15. Both. I use keyboard when it's more technical or I'm taking in theory or planning in my OneNote. For more intimate and emotional writing I prefer to do it by hand. I think writing by hand can be great for stuff you don't want other people to read. I don't trust technology to hold my secrets and most emotionally intimate thoughts and insights.
  16. I have a few questions. How do you know when you're ready for trying psychedelics? I would say I'm reasonably normal but of course I have bad karma I'm working with: some depression, anxiety and bad thoughts and past trauma, nothing like bipolar or schitzo. I'm not suicidal or ever had to been hospitalized or looked after for anything mental. I am employed, can look after myself and keep a clean flat. Have a great group of friends. Family life is so-so, live far away from them and don't talk too often. Overall have a reasonably positive outlook on life and some framework of spirituality but am currently going through some negative/painful stuff and have a lack of direction. Nothing out of the ordinary though and am activity working on personal development (started 1 year ago) and have made a decent bit of positive change since then. I'm wondering if something like an ayahuasca might help me in some ways, give me a different perspective and help me accept myself and my past more. I have some free time over the summer and am wanting to try which leads to my next question. How do you find a safe place to do an actual ceremony with the right dosage and treatment for me? I'm willing to travel to a different country cause it's legal and not a thing where I am.
  17. This guy went off the deep end after gobbling up a bunch of red pill bs and his entire content has been a slow motion car crash of cringe ever sine. It's a shame cause his earlier videos from many years back were quite good. I remember him giving advice on weight lifting and tips to do with keeping a healthy dating life which I found quite helpful. I'm going to assume he was always kind of a clown though but you never really saw this side of him in his earlier videos since their scope was much smaller and his reach is bigger now since growing his brand. This isn't to say everything he says or does is incorrect/wrong. I think he has some good content building confidence and do think he shares some positive ideas. I'd just be wary though about all the victim red pill thinking, society is crumbling because of feminism, men are victims blah blah yada yada bullshit narratives he injects into his content. Remember: it's our job to separate the wheat from the chaff for ourselves.