jsonte

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Posts posted by jsonte

  1. Posted

    I am very grateful for your post. It truly makes me feel.. I should cut some slack for myself. I feel like i should allow myself to grow though I am objectively imperfect. I am perfect for who I am. And caring insecurities as a baby is just.. amazing. I would always simply ignore them or hesitate to talk with/about them with myself. but I can find acceptance for who I am now. I should and I ll read your post repeatedly.. I try to understand it even more.. And I ll take your suggestion and watch those too. I want you to know that, you've helped me. So, THANK YOU.

  2. Posted

    Thank you very much for taking time.

     

    5 hours ago, Swagala said:

    Before you planned out everything, understand that you had worries.

    Could you elaborate more? I would like to understand this further. Without planning, I'd probably worry that I'd miss something I'd wanna do. I am not sure whether I should even call this worry(?). So, would like to understand this more.  it could be true and I am not seeing it yet.

     

    5 hours ago, Swagala said:

    "We are not afraid of uncertainty, we are afraid of what we think is in uncertainty." "We are not afraid of the unknown, for if we didn't know of it, we wouldn't fear it."

    True. I know that more than uncertainty, the potentiality of the things that COULD happen is more accessible to human mind. Good or bad, either way. We often tend to imagine the worst. But I only know that intellectually. How to address this though?

     

    5 hours ago, Swagala said:

    Again, ask yourself why you are truly wanting to avoid. There is nothing wrong with trying to avoid. In fact, validate it, the fact the we want to avoid something means it has a reason. Let yourself and those worries know that you are right to want to avoid these things. Give these worries enough attention for them to calm down. These worries, bad thoughts, anxieties should be taken care of as if a baby. Give it attention. The fact that the worries pop-up means there's a reason. Understand the reason and then you'll be able to heal the worries.

    Yes, I can think of one valid reason now. These tasks aren't aligned with what I want to do. I am not really passionate on working on these and hence i feel like I am wasting time. Maybe so. I ll still keep an open mind here, though.

     

    5 hours ago, Swagala said:

    You don't want human interaction because you may not have much self-esteem.

    That, yes. I have felt that too. How should I address this??? I will look into this.

     

    5 hours ago, Swagala said:

    You already acknowledged that you have fear. You will not find the answer externally, at least not one that's much more permanent. What you need to do is stop looking for it outside. Deep down you know you can solve this and already have the solution within yourself but you may just be too afraid of the fact that the solution is within you. You have to go within and that can be painful but it can be healing.

    How should I be searching this? Through self-inquiry? Or is there any specific method or ways?

     

    5 hours ago, Swagala said:

    That's why it's best to acknowledge your worries within instead of avoiding them or ignoring them.

    That's gold. I ll think about this more and see what I can come up with.

     

    Again, thank you very much for your time. :)

  3. Posted

    I would love some help or support in understanding and working through these two things:

    1 - 

    Just now, I was working on something(it usually takes me 2 to 3 days of consistent work). But as I was researching on the internet, I've found a way to complete this particular work in at least 40% less time than it would take otherwise. Now, that I have this option, I kinda want to postpone this work to sometime later(like after few hours or even tomorrow morning). Is it procrastination? I am happy that I've found this method on the internet and I feel like it's almost completed already. I feel like I want to take some time off of work. If I didn't have this option, I'd simply sit here and work my ass off. This has happened to me several times. Why there is this difference? What is it? How do I work thought this?

     

    2 - 

    Very recently(a week ago, I think), realized that I put away the things I should do(Not related to above point - this one involves human interactions). For example, on Sunday evening I sit and plan everything I wanna do on Monday(sometimes I plan whole week) in details. I walk through everything in my mind. And how flawlessly it would go. Then when time comes. unknowingly, I find excuses. Sometimes, I do this because I feel exhausted or tired and I don't want to do what's needed. but sometimes, without any reasons. I just feel like not doing it, I just feel like avoiding it. That's sometimes because I don't want human interaction. And sometime, I even fear of the outcome or whether someone would ruin my plan that I worked over the Sunday(for example). These are subtle things I've been observing. These tasks could be something like, calling up someone to ask a favor, or for some work I need them to do for me. And it sometimes it could be also like, when someone calls me, I avoid it because I fear they would give me more work(if I am busy already or tired or I JUST don't want to do anything at that moment(if I am already doing something - is it natural?)).

    What is it and how do I work through this?

     

    These things are limiting me from moving forward in life and I think it is time I address them. Please help me understand them more clearly and also way to work through them.

    Thank you very much for your time!

  5. Posted

    @Salvijus Okay, that makes sense. If I understand correctly, what you are saying is, root cause of all these is "awareness". Not being aware or being not aware enough. I ll put myself through 45 days consistent conscious work alone and see how things start to change around. I think you are right about this because I have had this experience myself but I had forgotten its important. I am grateful to you for reminding me that. So, thank you. :) 

  6. Posted

    I guess, I wasn't clear.

    I wanna know how you guys manage time learning/studying/practicing these skills? I have a day job as a software developer. And I love writing programs and solving problems. My career demands me to keep studying new things constantly. I like it too; but it takes time. How do I spend time on other skills? It seems impossible.

    I need to practice a skill for an hour a day - but I have so many of them to improve. How do I go about it on every day basis?

     

    Thank you for your time.

    PS:

    @Salvijus, I am sorry, I couldn't fail but notice your answers on other threads too and I think you aren't being much helpful. When you read a question, I think you need to understand what mindset a questioner has, what perspective they are coming in from and this needs a lot of empathy. Just a honest feedback and suggestion. Thank you for your time.

  7. Posted

    Title isn't very informative.

    What I mean is, I have a lot of things/skills to improve on. Example: Communication, Leadership Skills, Critical thinking, Humor etc.

    How could I work on them simultaneously? Is it even okay to work on them simultaneously?

    Should I just work on one skill for sometime(Maybe 6 months) and then move to other? What should I do?

     

    Thank you for your time.

    Regards, 
    - Json.