Emotionalmosquito

Consider the following: The general consensus on this board and other PUA communities is you should try to be filterless. You should speak openly and authentically, this means saying whatever comes to mind because it makes you seem confident in yourself and fun to be around, the realness is sexy. Well if that’s the case, what if me saying something of the nature of “a ring doesn’t cover a hole” to a married woman is the very thing that is authentic to me in that moment? If I should speak openly, freely and with no filter, but I also can’t say certain things even if they’re authentic to me in the moment, that is a direct contradiction I know y’all are gonna get pissed again because I sound like I’m just trying to argue like a “gotcha backed into a corner” debate style. But this isn’t me trying to be like “me right, you wrong” Its a legit conundrum we’ve run into that I’d like to have addressed.

I’d say slapping yourself in the nuts while doing the gangnam style dance is a pretty dumb way to act. So I’ll go do that little performance for the next cutie I see (not kidding, I really will🤣) and let you know if it gets me any action. Acting fake as in, my attempt at socializing with these people will fail miserably unless I only talk about and only behave in ways they find acceptable, which varies from person to person, which makes calibration tricky to master. Therefore I often can’t get away with being the person I wanna be. Thank you. That’s what I’ve been waiting to hear. Finally someone admits I need to CHANGE myself because BEING my current self is clearly not working at all. Thats why I keep saying “be yourself” is a horrible thing to tell some people. If the self you are is unattractive then good luck finding much success with the ladies. @Israfil But you also said you were broke and still getting girls? So that should mark upping my financial game off the list. It’s not fair for me to have to go through all this work of improving my mental state to get more dating results when people with severely damaged minds get into steamy relationships all the time! Why can’t I be like one of them if it’s what I really want? If it’s purely a matter of lacking confidence, that’s a solid goal I can work towards. I have no motivation to improve jack shit in my life except for the ability to be a charmer, particularly for the sexual activity it would bring. It’s the only damn thing I want anymore, it’s my only interest and everything I’m passionate about. I don’t give the least amount of fuck about anything that isn’t fucking semi attractive or attractive women. I don’t know how I’m supposed to magically start caring about other stuff when I don’t care about other stuff at all. And if I do start caring about other stuff, it’s only going to be fake caring as a means to help me get what I really care about. Is this where “fake it til ya make it” comes into play?

I have 10 and 12 year old nieces that I am good friends with. When I approach a normal woman of whom I wish I could sleep with, she cannot and will not vibe with me on the same level as the nieces because she’s a completely different person, is smarter, is not a family member and doesn’t even know me. That’s why the outer game is equally important, because it shows you the technicalities of the right and wrong ways of interacting with new women. Also speaking from experience. Sometimes when I approach someone with that energy of we’re already best friends and we’ve known each other forever, they’ll get the most disturbed, weirded out look on their face leaving me no other option but to either walk away or the situation escalates negatively. Or they’ll pretend to be receptive and cool with it because they think I’m some unhinged psycho who will lash out if they make me feel unwelcome.

For some of us, not caring what people think can be counterproductive. When I don’t give a single fuck what people think, some people think the authenticity is awesome and wanna be around it, but the majority who don’t start bitching to authority figures about me bothering people and it actually causes problems. Could it be said that it’s important to not care what people think of you but only within certain guidelines? Like you can’t just run around saying filthy sexual stuff to everyone, but if we truly didn’t care at all what others think of us, a lot of us would be doing just that.

It’s the perfect way to activate your almonds. Just find a spot where you won’t be seen (more on that later) and expose your parts to the sun. Spread the legs for maximum gooch exposure. Should only be for no longer than a minute to start with to see how your body reacts. There’s a reason they call it where the sun don’t shine. This area is much more prone to sunburn than anywhere else so you’ll want to start slow. It feels surprisingly good once you start trying doing it. Not sure how to explain the feeling other than you never knew your balls were hungry all your life until you feed them sunlight, then they feel full for the first time. Allegedly it boosts testosterone by well over 100%. Don’t be surprised if you become erect or remarkably horny for the rest of the day. Observe your scrotum during the first sessions. It starts shifting around and warping and contorting similar to how faces and walls do after you’ve had a tab of LSD. Very fascinating to look at. You’ll notice the balls become loose and hang very low; perfect for performing a sexual Kung Fu style testicle massage, but that’s another thread. I always find the perfect angle so none of the neighbors can see. Though I have been caught twice; once by the neighbor’s daughter, (at the time I was taking a risk hoping nobody would walk over to a certain area where they could see me and I wouldn’t have any time to react, that’s exactly what happened. no cops ever showed up so I definitely lucked out there. I think the fact I immediately covered up upon making eye contact let her know it was an accident.) and once by my younger half brother. The brother bust was more funny than anything else but the neighbor was actually somewhat embarrassing. So I don’t take risks anymore. Lemme know your thoughts in the comments below and I’ll see you in the next one!

LOL! Those guys are both top tier chads. Of course the women will be warm and welcoming. They’ve got wide, masculine necks, warrior skulls, high cheekbones, sharp jawlines, almond eyes, positive canthal tilt, perfect eye spacing, thick hair AND they’re well dressed. Guys, I know personality probably plays a large role in attraction, but you’d have to be delusional to think these guys’ 10/10 looks isn’t the primary factor at play here. In both pics he literally just introduced himself a few seconds ago and the ladies already bedazzled. Are you AI generating these? You can attract with average looks or slightly below but it’s not as easy as it’s portrayed here. You’d better have an outstanding personality and present it to an exceptionally open minded girl. I fundamentally disagree. If it was that easy, sixty percent of young men wouldn’t be hard stuck singles. Consider the sheer power of the male sex drive; you know things are really bad when that many of us are giving up on dating despite being so gaht dang horny. Part of the issue is social media and smart phones are sucking peoples souls out through their eyeballs leaving us with robotic, unfriendly versions of the vibrant, free spirited human beings they’re meant to be.

I do have quite the habit of that. I do that because it is so painfully maddening to feel like I’m being fully blamed for things that I KNOW beyond any doubt aren’t ENTIRELY my fault. Some people are very shitty scumbags, others are pretty cool. Sometimes the disgusting/tasteless behavior I show (which is very benign compared to what I’d like to do) gets me a new friend group for the night, others? Ur gone! That’s why this is so confusing. How do I not think I’m worthy? I have no idea how you got that sense. Why else would I want sex and so much and think I deserve it? Because I feel worthy of it.

@Princess Arabia I’m honored to be your 4000th post Yes getting somewhere because I discovered you, like too many others, think it’s unacceptable for people to say wacky things to each other in the beginning stages of an interaction. That makes it pretty hard to be filterless or to treat others the way you want to be treated. I would love it if girls said dirty stuff to me more often and I knew I could shoot it right back at them. I’d love nothing more in the world than to be given a 100% fool proof strategy to get all the lays I want. I would seriously shoot a hollow point bullet through my foot right now in exchange for being flawless at women. I want it infinitely more than I can convey. Not “just”, but you’re right about me wanting to talk about it. It helps me get it off my chest and blow off steam. The main purpose of my being here is to get a fool proof strategy that works. Not this “be yourself” malarkey that’s getting me blown out majority of the time. The videos are to show how deep the problem truly is and why it’s so hard and unfair. Thx for watching that one btw, I figured you probably wouldn’t lol. Point of that was to show how much more easily girls get away with groping men than vice versa. The whole video can be summarized in that line where he said: “Am I wrong for calling this female out on something that if I would’ve done to her I could have been thrown in jail, possibly beaten up, possibly lost everything I’ve worked for in one night from a sexual harassment charge from a woman who would face no consequences violating me in the same way.” And thats talking physical violation of boundaries. So imagine how easy it is for them get away with cracking dirty jokes. To be fair @Israfil did say a girl got thrown out for bothering him too much. If that’s common then I suppose things are more balanced than I thought. Still, it generally gets taken far more seriously when men sexually harass women. Which brings me to my question for him: What about how @something_else got kicked out by bouncers for whispering in her hear? Is getting close in order to say something in someone’s ear grounds to remove a girl if she does it to a guy?

10/10 Yes it does. It’s the best feeling in the universe when you taste it for the first time after being so wrongfully denied the delicacy for decades. It’s total, sheer bliss to almost the highest degree second only to Samadhi If it’s such a trick, what about all the people that get helplessly addicted to it? For them it must be good enough to go chasing long term

“depressed” Didn’t you just say in the other thread? That’s great but all your progress goes to shit the very second you say something dumb or make a mistake. Which is guaranteed to happen for those of us inexperienced. Even if we’re treating her the way we’d like to be treated the whole time. Thats why we’re on eggshells all the time and why it’s so insurmountably difficult. That’s great too if you can get her to respond to you like an actual human instead of a robot. Also in the other thread you pointed out me dehumanizing women by calling them different creatures? I understand they’re humans too. I shouldn’t have called them different creatures but I absolutely stand by them being very very different. They get dehumanized because they do the same to us. I can do the most plain, friendly, non-provoking approach possible only for them to act like I’ve committed some huge crime by daring to speak to the all mighty her without permission. Happens all the time. Pardon the hateful talk in this screenshot and take note of what he’s saying

YES! That’s what I’ve been saying. So why do I keep being told the negativity I have inside is the reason I’m not having any luck?

Sex is a need, a very strong one. It may not kill you quickly like going without food but it does kill you slowly and more painfully of self destruction

Is testosterone not the key element of sex drive? Yes thank you for pointing that out. It’s also just as healthy on the vagina @Devin those undies are interesting, I could use a pair That’s true. I usually set up some towels on some chairs and an empty kiddie pool or something for privacy. Just happened to get unlucky those two times when I took a greater risk

Giving up right when we start getting somewhere? I’m shocked 😂 It’s crazy how some of you guys think I’m just trying to fight or play a charade instead of get to the bottom of an issue through discussion, as the forum is meant for. Do you really expect me to not have questions and comments about the advice I’m being given? I only sound like I’m fighting because I’ve tried lots of these things without much success. The “charade” is me trying to find out why the advice I’m given doesn’t work and what I can do differently.

If I have something I want to reply or say to someone, and I really really want to, but I decide I better not because there’s a strong probability it will be perceived as tasteless and disgusting and get me blown out or kicked out, how is that not the exact opposite of talking openly and sincerely? If you have all these things you wanna say but can’t because normies will hate your guts for it, there is no openness in that. The advice at its core always comes down to “be yourself”. That clearly isn’t working so here I am. This is the problem in a nutshell: Feel insatiably horny so go out and try to get laid get blown out and chased into hiding because I didn’t know what I was doing come here or other self improvement community. Get told it’s all my fault and I should be myself and talk openly and chill next time instead of trying to do everything perfectly Go out and do exactly that, once again, goes poorly come back and get told I wasn’t calibrated enough which made me look extremely weird to others justifying them being so unforgiving towards me So I use more calibration the next time around. All it does is put me in my head worried about accidentally saying something uncalibrated, but at least it doesn’t get me kicked out come back complaining about no girls being interested get told I need to be more filterless and speak openly with people because being in my head makes me unfun to talk to and we’re right back where we started Are you starting to see why I’m so tripped up over this? Calibration vs free expression is either a great balancing act or an outright contradiction. All I know is I’m very good at one at the cost of the other.

You mean like a house party? That would be different than an open public venue because at least at a party there’s a chance of the hosts considering both sides of the issue without bias. In a club, the women are the cash cows, the reason all the men are there and why so many drinks get sold. So they’ll do anything they can before kicking them out. If it was a public space you’re talking about then I’m glad to hear that. Even still, she was probably acting like a total unhinged freak to get herself the boot, much worse than whispering in someone’s ear or saying something uncalibrated. Right? Do average people with girlfriends and families never have mental health problems? I know it won’t solve any traumas, but neither will an exercise routine or a healthy diet. It may not solve anything fundamentally but it sure will help massively. I am sure of it. I would never under any circumstance. Being locked in a cell for ten years doesn’t sound very good. (Btw, even not being a rapist isn’t enough to fully protect you from life ruining accusations anymore) When someone craves sex as much as I do, even if they know they are aren’t a rapist, isn’t needing and wanting it so bad enough to make you come off like one? Let’s also not forget that lacking social skills alone is all it takes to make you appear as a potential threat in a woman’s brain. Because what’s so disrespectful about that? Isn’t there something we learn in this community about how social norms and things that make people offended are very subjective and vary radically between cultures? Some women actually appreciate that sort of humor. Doesn’t mean I should be punished for the crime of saying it to the wrong person. Because those are what everybody says. Saying something like that is different and unique and “unfiltered”. Notice people saying having no filter is a good thing. It makes you stand out, and in a good way for some. I’d rather say call her a lucky girl tbh, to switch things around for a change. Because they’re authentically expressing themselves with no filter, something people here say to do. I would love it if we could all stop freaking out so goddamn much about what others think and about people saying things that shatter our teeny tiny bubble of what is and isn’t appropriate. It’s called the golden rule: Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. But that goes both ways. If you think that harmless statement that in all likelihood could be found in a pg-13 movie is disgusting and tasteless, boy do I have news. There are jokes that are actually disgusting. I have some if they won’t get me warning points. Have you seen the how to get laid series? Leo says even wackier things than me and gets away with it. Go call him disgusting. Either people stop being gigantic fucking pussy ass little bitches about everything, or I’ll have to develop a much better filter and restrict the fullness of my personality to this bland, stale, cookie cutter version of reality and men and women that it sounds like you want. The murder comparison is wild. Now that we’re making crazy comparisons, you know how infuriating and disrespectful it is to women when people blame them being sexually harassed or assaulted on their choice of clothing? Same feeling for us when we get kicked out of somewhere for our choice of humor or conversational topic. Wanting to be a murderer just because they exist isn’t the same as wanting to be a filterless person because they exist One kills people, the other makes insecure people feel temporarily uneasy

I feel like all that’s gonna do is turn you into the guy on the right in this picture

Actually it may not be that simple. You know there’s a common thing where PUA masters will be very toxic and mean to the girls they pull as payback for putting them through so much misery to get to that skill level. If people (girls especially) were so good at picking up on people’s hatred towards them, shouldn’t they have not been able to attain such a high rank in the first place? This suggests misanthropy/misogyny is not necessarily an obstacle to getting good with chicks

I know this to be true with all my heart but most people who’ve had plenty of it keep telling me it’s actually not all that great once you get a taste of it, and they’re only helping us get it so that we’ll be able to see first hand that it actually isn’t everything so we can move on to the more important work. I disagree with this because there are lots of sex and bdsm addicts out there and I’m certain I’ll be one of those guys hooked and chasing it for life once (if) I finally experience it. Yes, it is completely God awful beyond words to be this miserably deprived with very little opportunity to work towards getting it, more and more with each passing year it makes me wanna

So I just looked for one. I typed in pro dommes in (my area) and it just came up with a bunch of sketchy websites and pics of women in their fifties. I clicked on one and it said “not secure” in the url bar so I noped the fuck outta there. I clicked on a different one and it was just some shitty website trying to confirm my age and info and stuff but the woman looked fairly hot. Didn’t say anything about being near my area. The ones i really want live a million lightyears away. What do?

Something tells me I’m a full half to blame for this thread being revived, at least

I wish you would’ve told me that. I’m already the undisputed, world class champion at making a fool of myself. It comes so naturally I do it by default without even trying The answer is approach. It’s absolutely harder to approach than to ice bathe. Harder to approach successfully that is. Ice baths do help you grow, but only towards getting better at taking ice baths. In my experience it does next to nothing at all for approach anxiety or making it easier to overcome other life challenges. All it is is an amazing and healthy temporary high and nothing more

My problem is how unforgiving people are about someone acting uncalibrated. If some girl gets a weird vibe from your social sloppiness, that’s very difficult to recover from because she tells others and suddenly everyone thinks they need to avoid you at all cost. When you make mistakes (which you’ll be making a whole bunch of as an inexperienced approacher) how do you mitigate the damage to your reputation?

Why? Indeed it would be. I’m fully aware of it. That’s why I strongly disagree when people say sex is just another experience at the end of the day. As if it’s not the most legendary thing in existence. If you were as completely and utterly deprived of female affection as I am and for as long as I’ve been, you just might be able to overcome that phobia Once you see in person just how good they can look I’m fully on board with bdsm being a healthy expression of sexuality. But as with anything else it can also become unhealthy. Just depends. While I have very little sexual experience to reference, I do agree that when you have one or multiple very strong kinky fantasies that get fulfilled, it makes the whole experience ten times more intense than just having vanilla sex. At least I think it would be.

Not if your city is too small and you don’t have the money or ability to get the money to move out If I understand it right, it sounds like she’s saying the reason men fail to get partners is because they’re not focused enough on what they want. That confuses me because when you get rejected by a girl, were you not focused on her? Currently yeah but it hasn’t always been that way. Even when I was in much better shape mentally and physically there were still no girls to be had