NoN-RaTiOnAL

i get you so much man, i feel like im in the same boat. tired of trying new girls again and again... I feel like throughout the years of dating i got really good at making girls fall in love with me but i have no clue of how to fall in love with them myself, i have no reference point because intuitively none of them ever aligned with my deeper values and made me feel seen and understood but i could provide them with that experience. when i finally found some girl that i felt good being around her, she was just not attractive enough, couldn't bear looking into her eyes lying to her that i think she's beautiful. damn dating is fckn hell

lately im noticing a shift in my perspective toward women and relationships. i really had enough of them to realize and get a true insight into the dynamics between men and women. women have both this amazingly seductive and beautiful quality that attracts me to them, but also this annoying and nagging vibe of being so obsessed with their looks and feelings. I find relationships to be fun but only in a casual way, when it becomes too intense and long term the tide shifts and the seductive energy evaporates and theres only a feeling of "duty" and annoyance from my inability to be free in my thinking. i feel like i just cant be myself in a satisfying way around a women long term, only casually, only as a game. when we try to play "serious" i just get tired from this obsession with social life and not enough of the inner life and philosophy. i just dont seem to find any girl as interested in that as me. in fact many of them are scared of that dimention and prefer to "keep it light" and not go "too deep" on such topics. No girl i ever dated seems fond of trying to unravel life's dynamics and understanding that there is more to life than meets one's eye. By practicing day time pickup i also realized that as much as sex could be fun - it is not at all as fun as in my egoic fantasies. I got to experience first hand how i could take a girl i literally felt pain in my chest from her beuty go into bed with me just to realize - its not that awsome in real life. and actually even sucks sometimes. so i feel this transformation in me from being this needy and thirsty horn-dog into a more mature and complete men who is closer to himself then ever. yet new challenges keep popping: there is this fear of going through the tides of life all by myself if i wont find any suitable women to join me, there is the fear of missing the right timing of bringing my own children and deriving the joy and meaning from their existance in my life and our relationship when im still healthy and competent. yet i cannot reconcile it with being authentic with my feelings that just tell me secretly in the back of my mind that maybe thess experiences are not suited for me in this lifetime. did you guys deal with any similar thoughts? Id like to get more perspectives on that, thanks!

yeah, getting rejected also helps, reminds you to take it easy and not so personally, but one yes is equal to like 50 rejections developmentally speaking from my POV.

creative writing, philosophy, generating new ideas, theater, stand-up those moments are like meeting new women, alluring but also exhausting

usually im trying to understand the many different voices inside of me as symptoms of some burden on my system. for example when im generally depressed i get this itch to impulsively go meet new women, but also a need to isolate and just take it easy today. both appear and have conflicting interests but are generated by the same overall state of mind.

problem is its not always clear and usually obfuscated by many other thought and feelings.. cant really be sure.. @Leo Gura i'd love to hear your perspective on that area too.

the more you wait before you ACT is going to make it even more difficult to ACT. later youre going to feel shitty about yourself aswell. If you just act anxiety will begin to dissipate and you will feel good about yourself even if you didnt get the number.. you need to reach a point where you realize you just standing there in your comfort zone is actually the worst thing for you, this is actually not the comfort zone but HELL. the moment you start to feel fear or anxiety - ACT quickly! dont let your mind prepare an entire manifesto for why its impossible for you to do that! go have an experience that will shatter your mind's paradigm instead! best of luck

what I think women here forget about leo is that his bias is truth, he doesnt care much about how the truth coming out of his mouth makes others feel. this makes his statements SOUND or FEEL mysogynistic or condescending or cruel or judgemental, however as a long time follower i know that when he says women are like children he is not being mean but just emphesizes a certain truth. yeah, he might have used his words more carefully, thats a valid point because when you deliver a truth you want to balance its harshness with some gentleness and appropriate words. the same as with a friend that you want to tell him an honest opinion about his life that might hurt him, being gentle about it might make him more receptive to the message. Consider the same harsh truth could be said about men - they are like an autistic child aswell that cant figure out basic social dynamics and handles emotions poorly. I dont get offended by such a statement cause i see the truth in it and not take it personally. and i think women here should aswell. you do care about how you and others feel more than the truth being delivered. this conversaton is a very good demonstration of that - your certainty of leo being judgemental just based of the kind of words he used instead of his intentions just shows that so clearly. you project too much around that (that his massages are hurting and creating suffering for men.. he's never been in a long term relationship..) and accuse him of talking with certainty about a subject he is not a professional in.. arent WE all the same on that front? just forming opinions that make sense to us based on previous expereinces? dont you see you act with the same arrogance? PS I know this is only my limited perspective.. this is not a valid argument...

nobody can honestly answer that question for you. you should do an honest inquiry and try and find out. For me, I tried both hardcore and 30 min style daily meditation. only the hardcore monk style 10 hours a day really had a profound effect on my consciousness. 30 mins a day was literally a waste of my time.

Here's a metaphysical comedian for ya

https://www.gurumag.com/inside-sadhgurus-cult-empire/

I actually support abusing your power as a guru and find this article inspiring. may you get to see topless babes daily my friend namaskaram.

It seems like you are assuming there is an actual right or wrong here you are on your way to discover. There isnt. the only thing thats happening is just you forming a more robust, profound and nuanced point of view over time which changes the things you regard as right or wrong over time. Its the game of being a seperate self - you have a natural right to form your own dumb opinions

you shouldnt be sacrificing all your free time on your life purpose as leo said already. chilling and having fun is as important (if not more) than doing the work. I would suggest to really start using a notebook and make sure to create a good work-fun balance in your life. contemplate how many hours of socializing do you actually need in a week to feel satisfied on that front and make sure to build you schedule in sync with that so you dont burn out or just become depressed and boring. of course many times things will change last minute but overall itll give you some control over the situation and make you feel more in charge of it.

I would add that there is hope for the FODMAP diet. I used it to heal whateverthefuck i had going on in my stomach at the time and found out it was fructose causing bloating and pain. After about 2 years of almost strict diet it healed all by itself. now I eat whatever I like without symptoms.

it is a way you undestand yourself. you are actually much more than the small self but you are anaware of that so what you are left with is surface level awarness so to speak. Its like the tip of the iceberg of consciousness. The loudest part. Its like that annoying kid in your class - everyone gets to know his name before anybody else. It wants whatever it percieves as lacking. if you lack power you want more of it, if you lack appreciation you want more of it.... It wants the world to obey its will and it wants it to happen effortlessly = suffering because thats almost never the case.

generally i would agree with you BUT i would say from my experience that having social connections and having small talk with different people i meet throughtout my day produces a kind of general feeling of "the world is safe and people are good" which provides a small sense of oneness with the world for me which lasts and isnt fleeting. if i compare a day i spend alone with myself or a day i had a few nice interactions i generally tend to feel happier when i had some interactions. and i say all that as an introvert. also, keep in mind that social interactions are basically a set of skills and as you become better at them you also derive more joy out of it. all those gurus who always shit on social interactions are also usually not very active socially and are not that developed in that area of their life.

what you are supposed to get from these trips isnt knowing exactly what will happen but to get in touch with whats beyond this universe and realize that all is going to be fine.

nobody knows. we barely even understand what the brain is.

you dont. until you get tired of the illusion. then you imagine a way out of it. then you break out. when being out becomes too comfy you want to go back in again. circle of consciousness.

from my experience of doing different kinds of methods for transformation - you never truly change in the sense that you just delete the old you from your mind. i feel like i always stay who i am BUT i added new features on top of that: for example: i was (and still am) a shy introvert growing up and through pickup and improv classes i created a whole new "feature" of being more brave spontanous and playful around people. now i can enjoy socializing way more, but i stiil feel like after a few hours im tired of everybody and just want to read a book in my bed.

like with any tool. its not about the tool but how you use it. are you only consuming online or are you also using it to challenge yourself creativly?

lucky for me i like a fat ass on my face so i never lie when i say "not enough!"

then go have a nice conversation with your family about consciousness, let us know how that went

if males would stop masturbation they would go INSANE. WTF is this? anyways nothing could stop a wet dream. i bet sadguru has them all the time porn definetly has negative effects though...