JustThinkingAloud

I thought I’ll start a thread to lift our spirits and share the things that made us happy today. Share whatever made you feel good or better today. It can be anything big or small, even a tiny progress towards what you want.

Yes, usually when I'm bored or can't make up my mind about something. When I'm in the zone, I'm usually doing something while feeling like it's all happening on its own without thinking. I'm not really sure whether it's what you meant.

Do you have to learn Chinese now? Maybe focus on your business first and once you have time and money then you can learn Chinese.

Have you tried doing things that you enjoy? It’s usually a good start as it’s much easier to keep working on something that you actually enjoy doing.

Whatever you think is real is real. It is possible for your thoughts and emotions to make sense when you want to.

Even if you fix it with her, the parent issue will still be there. So it’s not only about you and your upbringing, it’s also dealing with your parents and their attitude towards her. There might be more hurtful moments for her in the future. How will she deal with that? Can she handle your slip ups now and then even if it’s not meant? Can she handle the constant rejection by your parents? I think that for this to work, you both need to understand what you are getting yourself into. I think you need to have a very honest conversation about this because moments will come were you have to choose between her or your parents. Of course, things can change but it’s easier to be prepared for unpleasant surprise. Personally, I don’t talk to my parents and don’t ever intend to just because they hurt me way too many times and I have no regrets.

Some people might be just in a bad mood that has nothing to do with you. I still think that facial expression is important but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s you causing it. It’s still good to be careful when someone’s in a bad mood because they might let it out on you but you need more than a facial expression to know that they don’t like you. Most of the time you’ll never know. It is reasonably safe to be around people that are in a good mood and have a happy facial expression while interacting with you.

Yes, I'm here and I'm living my life without you even knowing

I’d setup a day when you allow yourself not to have any goals. Just enjoy the day, do whatever you feel like doing and enjoy the life you’ve created. You’re working hard, you deserve a break. I don’t think you’ll lose your momentum because this day will give you more motivation and energy to keep going. You might even be surprised that you end up doing the right things, just in a more relaxed way.

How advanced the new information is? Our knowledge builds up from basics to more advanced. If you don’t fully understand the basics, the advanced knowledge can be quite confusing. Maybe step back and review you basic knowledge to see whether you’ve missed on some information or understanding and then build up from that.

We still need skilled people in the renewable energy field and at this moment it’s something that you can actually do. You might not see the results now but you surely have my appreciation for doing it. It’s great that you want to help people too but as any other profession, it needs a new set of skills that you need to learn before you can do it. Maybe just try to do it first and see how it goes before you make a permanent decision.

Have you fixed the reasons why you were rejected? If yes, then it’s great, you should be proud of that as you have become a better person, a new you that is much different to the person you used to be. If not, it might be easier to fix the cause. Trying to ignore the fact that you get rejected and hoping that it won’t happen again will not work. There needs to be some change. Once you fix the cause, you’ll become a better person for it and will have more confidence that it won’t happen again and can start enjoying your life.

@Harikrishnan Here's pdf and html versions of the book, that might make it easier to read. The questionnaire is an exe file so no, you can't run it on a mobile.

This book and related material helped me a lot when I was going through very tough times. It's really very generous of him that he gives it all away for free. You Can Choose To Be Happy: "Rise Above" Anxiety, Anger, and Depression by Tom G. Stevens PhD "You Can Choose To Be Happy" Self-Development Plan The Success and Happiness Attributes Questionnaire (SHAQ)

Maybe start with what’s real to you. Our thoughts, emotions and actions are real to us.

This is what I do: Have a dream – it has to be the ultimate wish, no compromises, it has to feel awesome every time you imagine it. This is not a goal, goals are more realistic, when you have a dream you shoot for the stars! This gives you motivation and drive to keep going and get through tough times. Don’t worry about details too much, it just has to feel awesome, you’ll work on details as you go. Have next couple of steps towards it – this is what you work on, think about, analyse, learn, research etc Celebrate every progress – your motivation is your biggest energy source, you need to keep feeding it

All up to you!

It really depends how big you want to go. A charity is a huge administration task and it’s usually very heavily regulated by governments. Another option is a foundation or a not-for-profit organisation that is much easier to set up but the donations you give to a foundation aren’t usually tax deductible. Another option is to just give the money directly to the cause but again it’s not tax deductible. I’d still check the laws in your country.

How do you know that? You could actually be the one who creates a huge difference in the world, you’ll never know till you try and while trying there’s nothing wrong with feeling happy and making other people feel happy. You got this life that you can do great things with, why to waste it?

I think this might be your problem. This “drama director” is you, you’ve created this believe and making it happen to make yourself right (our mind loves being right). Shut him up, prove him wrong, send him somewhere, tell him to …. off! Once that's done, you can be who you want to be. I know that it's easy said but it can be done, we all constantly creating ourselves. We don't mysteriously become someone, we create ourselves, sometimes without realising that we do. Life can be very rewarding once you know what to do with it.

That's great!

To me resistance exists to prevent quick spontaneous changes. Imagine if there wasn’t resistance and you could change everything whenever you feel like it. Things would constantly change and it would create chaos. Resistance ensures that only good changes happen, the ones that are created by persistence and work.

Can you just take a break from the band to do what you need to do? You’re young, I’d try many different things, it’s easier to do it now when you don’t have kids, mortgage etc. I wouldn’t make any permanent decisions yet, things can change.

Which one sounds more enjoyable to you? Enjoyment will make it much easier to progress and to do the work.