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Everything posted by sword

  1. I don't know enough about your life to offer advice. But I can say that you sound really good! I would love to hear more.
  2. ^this is the paradox of building a healthy ego and eventually constructing a life purpose. in reality we are all empty containers, void of any traits, with no meaning. But, once you are content with this knowledge, you can consciously construct a personality however you chose. You are both very self-aware and a very deep thinker. Use both to your advantage. Most people take a passive role in life. Perhaps consciousness is a value of yours? You seem to be quite the philosopher. I like your mantra. You know your worth independently of praise, critique, or indifference from others. stop comparing yourself to others. Remember your mantra. I would do a lot of contemplating/meditating on this statement. Come to terms with who you are. You need to practice more self love. I got some euphoria just reading about your walks! They sound beautify
  3. You say you don't know what your values are, but you just listed lots of higher values that give you fulfillment!!! ^ you obviously value creativity ^ here is another one! you value learning/knowledge! Do you get fulfillment from long walks because they are peaceful? because they are outside? or something else? Think about it. Perhaps you also value peace or nature. ^ you may also value development and beauty These values are a great place to start! Try to align your life more with these thing! No one is born hating anything. Your aversion towards competition is the result of trauma in your past. Try to pin down the memory or memories that triggered your aversion and take another look from a more mature, detached perspective. Keep in mind, we live in an age where there is practically no barrier to creating value (and there is no need to compete). Do you have access to the internet? If so, why not start pursuing writing a little more seriously? Write a blog, find some free writing courses, self-publish an eBook, join an online community of creative writers, etc, etc, etc Do the things that align with your values. Take them more seriously than anything. Eventually, you will be providing others with so much value, that you will easily be able to monetize! But if you are truly too low on the hierarchy of needs, start with the basics (and use your larger vision of living a life aligned with your values as motivation to slowly make your way up the hierarchy of needs). Having a bright vision for the future makes the unbearable bearable! I believe in you!
  4. Thanks for the advice! I'm am still at the very early stages of self-inquiry. Distinguishing the two can be difficult because speculation and concepts occur as perceptions. But I think I know what you mean. My plan going forward is to question everything more deeply and see what holds up against raw perception. Maybe Leo's hand exercise could help me.
  5. Yesterday I did some serious self-inquiry. I kept trying to concretely pin down the self. Every time I locked into the sensation of self, I asked: "but who is experience this sensation". Eventually it became evident that the "self" is just another perception, and that perception is all that there is. I also realized that thoughts are just another form of perception. They come from nowhere, go nowhere, and happen to no one. I got a glimpse of what would happen if I seriously continued a self-inquiry practice for an extended period. I would finally be free from the persistent chain of thoughts that I call the "self". I would no longer exist. I would see the world as it really is (without the false perception of a self). Is this what it means to cleanse the doors of perception? The biggest shock from my small glimpse of unfiltered reality was that intelligence exists! I noticed that everything is a perception field, but I also noticed that the strings of perceptions and thoughts I experienced were continuous and made sense. How is consciousness/the universe inherently intelligent? And what is intelligence? I would love to hear your thoughts!
  6. if all is one, isn't everything just another name for everything else?
  7. @winterknight thanks for answering my questions definitely not the answers I was expecting. Now I have a lot to think about
  8. I personally prefer zen style meditation (not engaging with thoughts and trying to just be with an empty mind). But I am still pretty new to meditation and have not tried many techniques. I would suggest trying out a as many as you can. Discover first-hand which one's are most aligned with your goals. Nothing beats first hand experience. I wish I could be more help lol
  9. As someone who values clarity and being the architect of my life, I think order is better. But maybe that is because I am too male polarized. Perhaps I could learn something from letting go and embracing chaos. At first I thought the answer was obvious, but I think Leo is right, it is just yin and yang.
  10. How long did it take to go from your first glimpse of the realization of union, to permanently grounding yourself in the realization? And, do you still feel like there is more to do? Has your ego reconstructed itself, even though you are now aware of its nature? If so, how has it changed? Is everything after enlightenment just play? What will you do now that you are enlightened? create a life purpose? Are you going to continue to self-actualize other facets of your life?
  11. Any meditation in which one does not engage with thoughts will clear the mind. After continuous and consistently practicing, you will be able to disengage and let go of pety/distracting thoughts more and more easily. The more you let go, the more content you will be. If you can ground yourself in the present moment/experience itself, you will never be lacking. From experience, I can highly recommend a meditation habit for reducing anxiety, gaining mental clarity, and general well-being. Consistency is more important than duration, so start with a duration you can manage and then gradually increase it.
  12. Being overly paranoid about everything is not healthy and will hinder growth. But, on the other hand, trust your intuition. Use Leo's videos as tools, but do not become single pointed. Find at least a few additional teachers/positive influences. The more perspectives you explore, the less likely you are to be mislead. Comparing many perspective gives one a more concrete worldview, improves one's ability to make wise discernments, and increases one's capacity for independent thought.
  13. I disagree. Wasting your potential as a result of keeping toxic people in your life will only lead to regret and resentment. I think the best thing you can do, for them and you, is to set a good example by becoming self-actualized. Eventually you will develop yourself to the extent where toxic people can no longer affect your energy field
  14. First of all, 30 is still incredibly young. I think you would be shocked by your full potential. The positive and negative life trajectory visualization exercise is a powerful tool for gaining motivation. First, think about your current trajectory and visualize what your future would be like without taking any conscious action. Next, visualize what the future could look like if you aligned with a positive trajectory. The exercise is most effective if you allow yourself to feel the emotions of your future self. Additionally, take the time to convince yourself that the positive trajectory is really possible. The more real you can make it feel, the more motivated you will be to stay aligned with the vision, and the more likely it will be to become actualized. The trajectory visualization is great for temporarily convincing your conscious mind. But the conscious mind is not nearly as powerful as the subconscious. Luckily, the subconscious mind can be consciously re-programmed through repetition. So, I would recommend a journaling habit. But, even once you get your subconscious motivated for a brighter future, you face one final obstacle: the energy to act. From reading your post, it sounds like you live a very energy draining life style, although walks and yoga are a huge step in the right direction! I would look into some more energy vitalizing practices, such as Qi Gong. A good sleep habit is also extremely important. It sucks that you are not in an environment that supports a healthy sleeping rhythm. Maybe you could look into a sleeping mask and earplugs? The best thing you could do to improve your energy is to not throw so much away. This means ejaculating much less. I would also recommend looking into the Taoist dear exercise for men. It is a great way to stimulate the prostate and send vitalizing hormones throughout the entire endocrine system. It is great for becoming energized right after waking up! I intend to make a more in-depth post on Taoist sex wisdom and practices in the future, so look out for that Once you are aligned subconsciously, you will start getting new thoughts and ideas. Try to get into a flow of taking action on these thoughts. The quicker and more radical your actions, the quicker you will be drawn towards the feeling you had during the positive visualization. Finally I will leave you with some tips: 1) For your money situation I would recommend one of two things: a part-time job (even if you don't love it) or re-selling stuff on eBay. Both of these options would still give you the time and energy to improve yourself, eventually become self-employed, and find a more fun way to make money! Take a look at Gary Vee's show trash talk on YouTube. He demonstrates how profitable going to garage sales and reselling on eBay can be. 2) One can be financially independent with less than you think! My personal dream is to live minimally in an off-grid yurt or a tiny home. 3) Make sure your are putting yourself in environments that are serving you. Make sure the songs/media/people you expose yourself to are helping you grow. I think it is great that you are making friends at yoga! 4) Don't turn lack of intelligence/lack of skills/other mental-blockages into limiting beliefs. As Wallace Wattles says, "the undeveloped is always capable of development". Once again, I think you would be shocked by your full potential Good luck my friend!