SQAAD

@Loba Putin is definitely Insecure af. It's very easy to tell. Just look at the surgeries on his face. He is 70 but looks 55 from all those plastic surgeries. Also he is not a very happy guy. No amount of money and power can substitute for spiritual development and lack of connection to God. He acts all macho and tough but he is deeply terrified of his self image crumbling into pieces. He is so delusional that he thinks he is the entire Russia and not just a mere small part of Russia. I think this war gives him a meaning in his sad existence. It fuels his ego in twisted ways. He has some good intentions but his intentions are based on Delusion. He wants to unite Ukraine with Russia but most Ukrainians find him despicable after this invasion. He is not gonna win the hearts of Ukrainians as his delusional mind initially thought. This whole narrative that he is saving Ukrainians from neonazis or whatever is just laughable.

@BlueOak Yes I think that ultimately it does not matter what you actually say But what you mean behind what you say. Still though I suffer from this irrational fear that if I say anything negative out loud it might just happen lol ?? Sometimes I avoid saying things bc of this. But this only strengthens the fear.. I am in the position where even if I say something negative or don't say, I still suffer greatly. What would you do if you were in my position??

@universe That's a great point!! Do you think that by saying negative things that you don't actually mean, there is a chance of increasing the likelihood of those things happening?

@Loba Thank you for the advice. The problem I find sometimes is that there is no way to be 100% sure if something bad won't happen. For example I might say something negative out loud like that 'I don't remember' and then I am terrified that somehow that can manifest for myself by some mysterious subconscious process. Sometimes I reassure myself that what matters is what you actually mean and not what you actually say but still I feel uncertainty and fear the worst. Many times I might say that I don't remember but I don't actually mean it... I don't know how to explain it. It's like one part of my brain knows that what I said won't hurt me and some other part is still terrified... This has led me to avoid saying negative things (even things I don't actually believe or mean literally ) but I don't like living with this fear and filtering out everything I say out loud - _-

@Leo Gura It all depends. I would definitely call Ted Bundy or Andrei Chikatilo a psychopath. Bundys survival agenda was to have intercourse with dead female bodies. That was his thing. Even when he had sex with his gf, he asked her to play dead lol. And Putin has psychopathic traits for sure. Narcissistic people lack empathy for others. A normal person does not go to war unless he really has to. Because war means tons of pain and misery for millions of people. The only person in Europe who could start something like this is someone so underdeveloped like Putin. He is a dictator after all. Even Turkey has more democracy than Russia lol. Someone could argue that Putin is Insecure and feels threatened. Therefore he feels that he really has to do that. Still though he has not a healthy ego. This war is completely unnecessary coming from a relatively underdeveloped (stage blue and orange) narcissistic dictator. If someone has to eat dogs to survive is not a psychopath. But those sc*ms who boil dogs alive in China, what are they?

@Loba +=1 I think Leo is lazy for not having watched the entire video and jumping into conclusions from the thumbnail. The guy in the video gave a pretty good picture of Putin and his psychological state for a 10 min video.

@Leo Gura I think he said that he has psychopathic traits which does not necessarily mean he is a pure psychopath.

@Leo Gura Maybe. Still I dislike very much people like him. He is not a Buddha and won't ever give up his powers. He is a petty lil power driven monkey who has been in power for 2 decades now and still it's not enough for him. Him and his billionaires monkey friends have massive power and wealth while most Russian people struggle to pay bills. This is my bias I know. My bias is towards making the planet a happier place.

@Loba I agree. I have a journal also. I don't write as often as I would like too though. When I have a lot of sh*t inside, I talk out loud to myself or write it out. If the stuff is too toxic I prefer writing it than verbalizing it. Because I struggle with this fear that I may negatively program my mind and something bad might happen. I know that this fear seems irrational sometimes but my mind still fears it greatly . It all began after watching the linked video few months ago. Also this video made me kinda worried of my mindset in general. There is a lot I don't understand about this whole thing and that's why the fear.

@mandyjw I am not sure I understand you. Do you mean that the reason I feel bad is because fear is not true? You said about thoughts being a secondary manifestation of feelings but in my experience it goes the other way or both ways . Usually I get a thought and then there is an emotional reaction to that thought. I am not trying to control thoughts but rather my actions.

I've heard about watching porn while on Psychedelics. But what about watching graphic content while high on Psychedelics?? Is this a wise decision or it will mess up with your mind? Is it better and more convenient to avoid looking at the super nasty part of God and act like it doesn't even exist ? I am a very strong minded person. I can handle a lot. Also my biggest fear is torture and excruciating pain. I feel like God is pushing me towards conquering this fear. This fear is literally my worst nightmare. Its what I hate the most. Personally I haven't tried this yet. Any opinions?

@Vincent S Thank you. I am not willing to experience all these things per say But.. It's very hard to turn my back on these things and not acknowledge them knowing that I will have to live through them one day.. You see, its very personal for me.. The nightmares of God are the challenge of existence. My life now is relatively easy but I cannot cling to that. I need to acknowledge everything.

@Phoenix11 Yes I agree. Its good to be aware of how terrible things can become. It gives you a certain perspective. Most people are just in denial, living inside a comfortable constructed bubble. They have no connection to what is really going on in this planet. I watch a channel on YouTube called Disturbed Reality. It has commentaries of cartel executions and etc. Gore is basically any act of serious physical harm and torture that is very very gnarly. A husband hitting very seriously his wife is considered gore too.

@Benton It is one thing to accept the idea of beheading and another thing to accept the actual beheading. I am just curious of what I will have to endure as God. I'm just having a preview of the nightmares that are coming ahead in one of next possible incarnations. This gives me an existential terror that is addictive like a drug sometimes. Hard to explain.. I am already way more comfortable with the nasty parts of God just by facing what is. You don't have to necessarily watch graphic content. A commentary is OK too.

@Ima Freeman @Ima Freeman Thank you for your kind words. Yes you are right. There is a cost to everything. Sometimes I feel very very emotionally disturbed after having watched nasty things online. That's why I avoid watching actual gore videos . I just stick to commentaries nowadays. Its hard to explain but these gore topics attract me in some weird way. I always regret watching these commentaries but for some reason I always come back to them lol. I want to know what X person has endured so I can know what I will have to endure lol. If it wasn't for non duality i would not care that much. Maybe it's something I have to let go eventually. God's Love is truly horrifying. It's too much too handle for a human being.. Thats what I'm having trouble accepting and being OK with.. Living through the worst possible experiences is the whole challenge of existence in a nutshell. Sometimes I even feel nice that all these horrific things exist. It makes me appreciate the scope of life more. Also the horror, awe and shock you feel has a sweet taste to it sometimes.

I respect Leo's body of work but I believe he is very wrong about Solipsism. He may change his opinion few years after. I think all this solipsism talk is a mental game. Leo's mind is very philosophical and maybe that creates some problems for him. Solipsism goes contrary to our knowing of how things are. When I go outside of my room, I know my room still exists. I know that when I go inside my apartment I will definitely enter again my room. Hope that makes sense. I can be very rigid and play this game that no it doesn't exist unless it's in my awareness but I think this is taking things too much on the wrong side. Only what Is in my awareness exists seems like another dogma to me. https://youtu.be/a2anz9QKD7Y

@Vincent S I disagree man. First of all it is not a fetish of mine. Let me explain. I could focus on all the 'positive' aspects of God but what is the point?? That is easy. Its easy to love being a millionaire and living through the best kind of lives. That stuff is easy and a 5 year old child can accept easily. It is the stuff that destroys your notion of how good the world is that is very challenging to embrace. It is the stuff that makes you question God's design and your reasons for even living. There are stuff out there that when you see, it annihilates all your notions about how Good reality is. That is why I'm Interested in the hard topics. I do not care if in the next life I am born a millionaire. That stuff doesn't disturb me. What disturbes me, is the thought of living through the worst possible lives. This is just me getting comfortable with God's nightmares. I do not focus on the nightmares all the time. I keep a balance. But I cannot live acting like the nightmares don't even exist. For me, I am working through all these existential fears by acknowledging the nightmares. That is my fetish you could say. I imagine living through the most difficult nightmares. I cannot do otherwise. Sometimes it is very challenging. The goal is accepting and integrating the totality of what God is. And as I said before there is not integration to be done for the stuff that is easy and comfortable. Basically my mind is trying to prepare for the nightmares in some way. That is the best way I can put it.

@Vincent S That is not my experience but I am open to this possibility. If I had free will, my life would be very different right now.

@Phoenix11 That is willful ignorance. It's like your neighbor is having a hard time and you acting like nothing has happened just so your peace is not disturbed. That describes the lives of most people. And explains why there is so much evil in the world. Simply because most people do not care and are not bothered to care..

@Adodd Worst idea maybe in terms of Survival and maintaining your petty emotionally comfortable life. In terms of directly looking at the worst parts of God's face, and bathing in Truth, it is a brilliant idea. The only way you can maintain your comfortable existence is by denying the totality of what God is. If the average person was fully conscious all the time of what God truly is, he would end up in a mental asylum.

Solipsism is pure non sense. Rupert agrees. Or maybe Rupert Spira, a 40 plus years spiritual practitioner is not ready for the Highest Teachings Also having one experience at a time doesn't seem like Infinity to me.

Nice Post. But I highly doubt others are empty suits. Why God couldn't live simultaneously all possible lives? Who limits God to one life per time?? Why can't there be anything outside my Consciousness? (like another life)

Awakening is Just another ego trip for the ego I believe. It's really no different from a powerlifter who wants to lift the heaviest weight possible. Really no different from a bodybuilder who wants the best physique. Really no different from a math person who wants to reach the highest levels of math. It's all just an ego game so you can say 'hey look at me, how great and special I am compared to all others'. Ego always overrides everything. I see awakening being another ego trip and those who pursue it displaying narcissistic characteristics more and more. Leo is turning into the Conor Mcgregor of spirituality for example. Correct me if I'm wrong.

@Nadosa This is such a nonsensical post... I bet a great meditator would have greater and deeper trips than a normie. What are you suggesting exactly? Like tripping for eternity is sustainable. Plus you always come down.

@Thought Art Meditation is a great skill to have. It does not matter if it will awaken you or not.Because It definitely makes your life a lot better. Meditation is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I have peace of mind like never before after 5 years of meditation. And it only gets better with time.