SQAAD

@DocWatts I did not claim that evolution is full of crap nor that the theory is wrong. I only criticized its metaphysics. Its implicit metaphysics is full of crap.

@Carl-Richard I could say the same . The post is not denying evolution. It criticizes its metaphysics.

I am not denying that a giraffe can evolve its neck from small to large. The fact that you even have a neck that can evolve to begin with , is just incredible and can't be ultimately explained. The fact that you even have all the building blocks that make up reality is incredible and unexplainable. The notion that somehow accidentaly by some blind stupid luck you can end up with a turtle that has shell or lion with incredible teeths is just silly. This is how far the logical mind can go when it wants to preserve its materialistic notions and reject God's Intelligence Why you have a big neck? Well because it is good for survival. Why you have such beautiful feathers? Well because it is good for mating. But What made it that reality can even do something like that so incredible and evolve into all of this?? What is the underlying force that even allows such magic to happen? This is never explained, not can it be explained. Its just pushed further back. The mystery and majesty of reality is not acknowledged.

@JoeVolcano Yes true. Scientists are not very scientific really. The other day i was listening to a podcast and two scientists were talking about death and how life is a space between 2 eternities (lol) This is just a story in their head . Yet most of them hold it as true and certain. Its funny.

Today i went outside and was looking to buy L-Tryptophan (a supplement for increasing serotonin). Initially i went to 3 pharmacies and asked for it but they didn't have it. Frankly most of them didn't even know anything about it (lol). Then i went to a 4th pharmacy. There was a middle aged lady who seemed like snob to me. Her whole vibe was not looking good at all. The 1st sign of disrespect was that, as i entered the store, she didn't pay me any attention and kept on chatting with a friend/associate of hers. That was probably the 1st sign/clue that i should get the fk out of there. So after she finally decided to pay me attention (i had to wait a lil bit), then i asked her the supplement i wanted. She replied coldly ''i haven't even heard of that''. Immediately i felt bad. It's not what she said, but how she said it with her disrespecting look on her face... Then i asked one last question. Again she replied with the same cold disrespectful, heartless manner. Afterwards, when i was out of the store, my mind was entertaining thoughts of re entering the store and insulting her or something. But my prefrontal cortex put a break to such plans. I know better and most of the time i handle myself well. I felt intense deep suffering but i tried to remain as conscious as possible. Still though, i can totally understand people who end up killing others. The way that you get treated in this society is many times very awful. And if you have grew up without much love, and this pattern of lovelessness keep repeating itself into adulthood, then many people reach a breaking point, and they want revenge. They want to get even. Wanting to kill people is a natural thing. Your animal brain basically is like ''Kill people, because they are the source of your misery''. This kind of instinct has helped us survive. It is a built in function. Aggression is bult in our biology. Sure it is not the most sophistacted method for dealing with problems and i am not a fan of it. But i think there is a breaking point for all of us if conditions get too extreme. I haven't seriously contemplated killing people yet. Sometimes the desire may arise. I believe this is normal. Especialy when i feel very very disrespected. The intense feeling of hurt and suffering eventually passes. I journal about it and process it as best i can . That is the good thing. Still though, there are some people outthere that are so disrespectful , so low consciousness, that i would wanna destroy if i was in a rage state. That is because i have been hurt before by such sh*tty people. And there are certain people that i despise very much. I cannot love people who intentionally decrease the well being of others. I want to torture such people sometimes.. I probably wouldn't hesitate killing a Hitler for example. Because i consider such people the scums of the earth. That is the truth. And i won't act more spiritual than i am . Keep in mind, that i do not kill ants and animals & i pay attention when walking as much as possible to not stomp on them. Animals never have hurt me. https://youtu.be/p1RbktOlM54

I've heard from Andrew Huberman (a neuroscientist) that when brain cells die off, they n-e-v-e-r come back. This is incredibly glooming, nihilistic and kinda disheartening . Especially for me because my biggest fears have always revolved around how my brains works. I've heard about neurogenesis in the past and that it might be possible even for adults. There is much debate around this. Some say it might be possible. Others say it is not possible. I don't know what is the case.I get the sense at times that even these neuroscients have no clue what really is going on with the brain. I have seen mma fighters who have received tons of brain damage that function very well still. Usually these are the ones, that have let their brains heal for few months, before fighting again. In general i have observed that the brain can be very resilient and heal itself. @11:00

I am watching this video right now. Donald Hoffman makes the argument that reality is hidden somewhere because of evolution. That what we see is not the fundamental truth. And he has some good points too. Is he lost too much on the appearance of things and his scientific explanations? What is your opinion on his claims? His arguments remind me of Leo's videos about Self-Deception. He is also a fan of the Consciousness model. But he goes contrary to Leo's teaching that perception is truth.

I am watching the video below now. I don't understand why Leo says that there is no difference between pain and pleasure. Eating an ice-cream is a very distinct thing from getting hit in the face with a baseball bat. Very different sensations. Even if i transcend the distinction between life and death, i believe that the difference between having an orgasm or getting tortured by some Mexican drug cartel will still be very very very different at any level of Consciousness. I don't understand what Leo means. Can someone explain to me?

@Leo Gura I was watching (again) yesterday your 1st Self-Deception video. At one part you said (i'm paraphrasing): ''The thing that is deceiving you is God, thus it is infinitely more intelligent than you. It is a self-deception so total that there is nothing to compare it against, therefore it feels real"" What do you meant by ''it feels real''? Isn't it the case that it is real? Since everything i see and feel it is the Absolute Truth. Can you give me an explanation? Thank you for your time

@Leo Gura You have talked in the past how the mechanism of existence is self-deception itself. If that is the case then maybe what we see is not the absolute truth and there is something else we ignore. Can you comment on that?

@itsnutsandbolts You do not understand the point man We all spend significant time on being fearful. Just observe how many times you feel fearful every single day. The point is that we all deal with fear..It's not about being quadriplegic. It's about fear , fear , fear. And the constant what if statements. What if this happens, what if the other thing happens. That is the human condition in a nutshell. Being quadriplegic or something similar represents that you can no longer do what you love. It means severe exteme loss. If you are the type of person who doesn't struggle with this, then i am really surprised.

@Loba I understand your pain. You seem like a strong individual who can handle a lot. Do your best to change your environment. Yes in general people are very low consciousness and toxic. We just need to focus and make the shift internally. Its very easy to hate humanity with all of its egotism and greed. But its a challenge to love and understand them.

@RMQualtrough To a fool who has not read carefully the thread, and is quick to jump to consclusions ..everything is crystal clear and super obvious ^__^ Thank you for the free diagnosis man.

@zurew Every ego is fragile ^_- To different degrees of course. But still all egos are house of cards that you can easily destroy in an instance. Get abducted by Los Zetas or CJNG and see what happens to your ego. If my tolerance level was too low, i would not be in my home, typing this message here lol. Nope, i did not wanna kill her. I never said such thing anywhere in the thread. I just left the store and never looked back. Now it doesn't bother me at all. People are quick to demonize me in the worst way for feeling bad when being disrespected by others. I understand, its hard to make a proper diagnosis if you don't see face to face someone... Nevertheless, thanks for the advice. I can handle toxic behavior from others. But it hurts. Thats my issue. I don't like feeling that way.

@Jowblob I usually never fight back or cause problems to others who are being disrespectful. I just feel very very terrible afterwards. And it passes after few hours. I think that is a sign of increased Consciousness. I know that others have their own issues but i still think ''what did he not like about me ''. And that makes me feel bad. Because it creates uncertainty and doubt about myself. Your mind really wants to know why the other person acted that way. And it usually starts thinking about all your possible flaws.

@Elton Yes i try to recognize that how people treat me , has more to do with them than me. I don't have the need to do that now. After few hours, it stopped mattering. Its like it did not even happen ^_- I just suffer for a few hours and the next day i don't think about it. I would just like love to be less triggered and feel less hurt at times. Bu we are all humans. If i disrespect any person, he probably won't like it very much.

@Michael Jackson This was great . Thank you.

@gettoefl That is good advice. I usually just feel bad for few hours and the next day i don't even think about it. I would like if situations like this, did not bother me at all. But i think this is unrealistic.

@ZenAlex One could argue for the opposite. Still though if i come and spit in your face, you probably won't like it very much. So your advice does not hold any water. It sounds similar to like ''the problem is that rape bothers you too much, get over it''. lol

@something_else I don't have social anxiety. But i have been hurt by the behavior of other people in the past. This has caused some resentment towards the human race. And that is the reason, sometimes i may have thoughts of killing some fkers who have mistreated me. That is very normal. You probably grew up without much hurt from others. So you probably don't understand the situation. If you never have felt hatred towards the entire human race, then it is hard to understand. In the case of the pharmacists, i just got angry. But nothing too severe. I did not wanna kill her. I wanted to insult her yeah of course. I just don't like when people are misdiagnosing the situation i am describing. The title was just to show a general abstract idea i entertain sometimes when i feel nihilistic.

@Ima Freeman I don't buy into this whole notion that i may feel anger or violent thoughts because of some chemicals. That could be true but it is not true in my situation. Because i never feel anything like this when i am sitting at home. I know from others that in America many things have tons of chemicals in them. Here in Greece where i live, everything is much more healthier than America. Healthier fruits and veggies, tons of sunlight, more chill pace. America is Stage Orange on steroids basically. Everything too large, too much, etc. My mind is not agitated at all. Its very alert and calm actually. I think people have not properly understood my thread. It is not like i walk out everday wanting to kill people for the slightest of things. I never really want to kill people actually. The desire is never strong or serious. As far as the rage part, i disagree. When you have all your needs met then yeah you can act very spiritual and not be prone to rage or anger. But i can, just for a day, ruin your health, steal all your money, lock you up somewhere for the rest of your life. Lets see how you will feel afterwards lol. People wanna act more developed than they really are. But we are all animals. Some more or less than others.

@Breakingthewall I believe progress is better than perfection. I don't put so much value in being perfect all the time. Sometimes i am more assertive than others. But each time is a learning experience. Fortunately i don't suffer from social anxiety. My only issue is that i am sensitive to signs of lack of love or lack of respect from others. It triggers all my insecurities lol. I try to be assertive . Today i used your advice, and when i went to a store and bought something, this time i kinda forced the cashier to take my order. He was busy doing something else and wanted me to wait lol. But i kindly asked him ''how much does this cost'' and he was forced to do his job lol.

@Preety_India I don't have any hidden 'disorder' except from OCD which is treatable and very manageable at this point after years of recovery work. The issue is that i get triggered when i feel lack of love from others. It triggers insecurities in me. It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.

@Preety_India I like that you admit your mistakes. That is a sign of increased consciousness on your part. I appreciate that. The suffering was intense and deep but now it has subsided. I barely feel it now after like 4-5 hours. It is not like i suffer from this constantly or want revenge . After 1-2 days i get over such incidents. That is the good thing. Now i feel pretty good . And i did not want to kill that lady. That statement of wanting to kill people is just an abstract desire i have at times when i feel very bad because of mistreatment for others. I almost never want to seriously kill anyone. If i am in a state of deep anger and rage then i think we all have ideas of seriously hurting the other. That is normal . As far as your previous bad experiences with guys, i believe you did let them abuse you. Unconsciously you allowed such behavior. You did not know any better so noone can judge you. This is a pattern that keeps repeating itself with many women. It has all to do with how we grew up. When we grow up with bad parents, we end up not liking ourselves very much , and we let others treat us badly , because we believe that we don't deserve any better. It is a common trap for women to fall pey to narcissistic scums & psychopaths out there.

@Breakingthewall Yes i try to do that sometimes. But other times my mind is like ''you will never see this fker again so better don't even waste your time and mental resources on this bs'' I wanted to insult her and tell her something like ''you should at least know what l-tryptophan is , if you are a pharmacist''. The difficult thing is not trying to hurt the other back. Setting limits is a good advice . Tough to do sometimes. Most of the times we wanna avoid negative encounters with people.