SQAAD

@Breakingthewall Yes this is so true man. Some people act very spiritual and are quick to deny/suppress the animal inside us. But there is much wisdom behind aggresion and violence. When i was younger, i used to read Conan The Barbarian. What i liked about him was that he always said ''Civilised people disrespect one another. But this is because they do not fear getting their head chopped off'' You see in Conan's country, in Kimmeria it would be very dangerous to treat others badly. But nowadays people in civilised society have much more leeway. There are prisons and etc that make you think twice before doing a silly move.

@Preety_India Many times we invite such behaviors. You let them treat you that way. There are some narcissistic scums of the earth in this existence, who look for the ideal victim. They look for someone to manipulate and do all their selfish devilish bs. Nowadays i put boundaries to people. I used to be a people-pleaser. To be honest, i am still a people pleaser but to a lesser degree. I don't like that you compare and downplay my suffering. My suffering was very intense. We all suffer. A war veteran with PTSD who has seen people getting raped and chopped off with machetes could also downplay our suffering. How would that make you feel though?

@puporing Damn, you must have had a really difficult time... Narcissists are really really toxic and will drain everything out of you eventually. I try to avoid them at all cost. Marrying a narcissts or working for a narcissist is a recipe for disaster.

@Razard86 I don't believe that. They see everyone as extension of themselves? What?? Someone who has tons of empathy and compassion sees everyone as an extension of themselves. Narcissists lack empathy. They are the worst of the worst along with psychopaths. They have no moral qualms about hurting you or exploiting you. Its all about their own little petty ego. A very low level to be stuck in indeed. And yes you are right. From what i understand all narcisissts have been hurt and traumatized by other people when they were kids. This has made them, inflict suffering on others, without any remorse.

@RMQualtrough Yes!! That is so true for me aswell.. There is this constant battle with Uncertainty going on. You are almost never 100% certain about anything. They say that you must be stupid to be 100% certain all the time . I guess doubt is very natural.

Today i tripped on LSA. I realised that i am God dreaming up this present moment (this i've had in the past aswell). The trip was not very intense but it was intense enough to shake the foundations of my Reality and make me question my sanity . After a certain point of the trip i thought i gone insane and i was fearful of that. The freaky part about it was that this solid difference that i've had in my mind between sanity and insanity disappeared. There was no such solid difference anymore. The best way that i can explain it is that my anchor of what reality is just vanished. There was nothing anchoring my sense of what reality is anymore. All i knew was that it was God but i didn't know anything else after that. This was very very challenging. My mind really stuggled to make sense of what was happening. Understanding what God is, is really a challenge. And it can be super dangerous too. This experience has made me appreciate more how challenging tripping and understanding reality can be. It can be brutal and very difficult at times. Now i respect more Leo's tripping because i got a taste of how challenging it can be for his mind to wrap around Awakening & God . You have to face your mind. And your greatest fears. At least thats my experience so far.. This was one of my most challenging trips so far. I could call it even traumatic to a certain extent. (Nothing too severe though) Because it just left me very puzzled at the end.....Now i feel like i understand even less than before lol... Also something else that scared me was that while i was tripping hard, my motor skills were kinda funny.. I felt like retarded because i would make some errors while typing and even peeling an orange with a knife was kinda challenging. Maybe this was a trick of my mind because that is actually one of my biggest fear. Being stupid and not understanding things. This was kinda traumatizing too... I've felt stupid on other trips before but this was more pronounced. With shrooms i usually don't feel so stupid using my body to do stuff when tripping.. Also with shrooms my experiences tend to be more understandable..Less confusing..

@puporing Yeah i feel you. It is nice to hear that many other people have similar experiences. Trips on psychs can be very messy and confusing at times. Sometimes the trip can be very definite and conclusive. But other times its pure chaos and very hard to make sense of what is going on.

@Danioover9000 Thank you for the advice. LSD is one of my favourite psychs. I've tried it once 4 years ago. 2 Tabs. Man ...It was the most mind-blowing experience of my life... I got a taste of what Infinity is....The most intense experience of my life... I just wish access to psychs was more easy.... Its a shame that its a challenge for many people to find good psychs to have a decent trip while its very easy to buy alcohol and cigarretes.

@Razard86 What i find most challenging is that when i trip very deep, i start questioning my sanity because distinctions are starting to collapse. This makes it more difficult to make sense of whatever is going on. And then after the trip is over you are like ''did i really experience that''. You try to put those experiences in a conceptual box but you can't . This creates uncertainty and stress for me.

@Leo Gura Thank you for the kind words. Much appreciated.

@Danioover9000 Low dose for me is 1-2 grams.

@Razard86 Basically on 5 grams all distinctions begin collapsing. Its very hard to distinguish sounds from sights and etc. Forms start breaking down too. I can imagine that if i were to take more than 5 grams i would not be able to distinguish anything anymore which is very freaky..

@Dazgwny Yes you are right. But i was not tripping too hard...

@Danioover9000 These are the ingredients for one capsule: Hawaiian Baby Woodrose 75 mg, L-tryptophan 50 mg, E959, caffeine 40 mg, L-tyrosine 30 mg, theobromine 15 mg, vitamin B6 10 mg, magnesium stearate, calcium dioxide, hydroxypropylmetylcellulose (vegetarian capsule). I took 4 capsules in total. Mind you, this is not a very heavy dose for me. It gave me a good trip though. I've taken the recommended dose which is 1-2 capsules before but the trip was always too weak.... No i was not referring to LSA as psilocybin mushrooms.

@Maka Max i've done was like 5 grams.

@Maka 3 grams. With 3 grams of shrooms i get a decent trip with no weird visuals and 'hallucinations'. Just pure Consciousness. Anything more and things get more and more confusing...

@Danioover9000 I did not take LSD. I took LSA. I don't know the exact dose because it was in capsules. I consider myself quite ''normal'' and i was in a decent state prior to the trip.

@RMQualtrough This makes some sense.. When i trip on medium dose of shrooms my experience tends to be more crystal clear.. with not much confusion floating around.... Only problem is that shrooms are illegal in my country and i have to risk getting them while LSA is legal....

@RMQualtrough For me the most difficult trip, is the one where at the end you are like ''wtf just happened''. Those are the hardest trips. You are left with uncertainty and fear... You are left with even more questions that before lol. Maybe you are right about the random part. I don't know. I don't feel that what i've experienced was BS but it was diffucult to wrap my head around what was happening... Sometimes a trip can be very crystal clear. Other time its very confusing.

Leo says that there is no difference between real and unreal, real and illusion. What does that mean though , i don't understand. If i imagine a lion walking in my room right now, that is imaginary. It stops being after i stop imagining it. Also there is no possibility that this lion could ever hurt me. But my room for example, never goes away unless i leave from it. That is a huge difference right there between real and imaginary. This distinction about real vs imaginary can go into dangerous territories because you can believe whatever fantasies, imaginations you like this way. Surely the substance of reality can be one thing but still there is a huge difference between actual things and pure fantasies/delusions. If it weren't such a difference we would all end up in insane asylyms.

@RMQualtrough Yes it is valid point that your mind creates distinctions and some people make more distinctions than others. But those distinctions are grounded on something. They are not grounded on thin air. The reality you experience doesn't depend on the distinctions (on some level). But the distinctions depend on reality. The color red is distinct from the color blue. Whether i make that distinction is irrelevant. I could notice that or not notice that. But if i don't notice that, that doesn't make red the same as blue. That is my point. Those distinctions are always grounded on reality. To say that there no distinctions unless you make them is not true.

@Leo Gura When you say there are no differences without giving any explanation whatsoever, then it can be quite complicated . So what is your point actually? Do you mean that there are no distinctions in Reality until your mind projects them onto Reality? I think the mind is making these distinctions because things are actually different. It is not like those distinctions don't actually exist or exist only inside your mind. You can see reality as one thing , without making distinctions but that doesn't make everything the same. Having sex or dying from cancer has inherently different qualities to it whether your mind makes those dinstcions or not. Even if you did not make distinctions, reality would still be the case.

I've watched the last video of Leo and i don't understand some things. Basically his solipsism goes out the window but at the same he still insists on it. I really don't know what to make of this. I don't know how he defines solipsism so maybe there is some misunderstanding. But how can you admit that you can't know whether other bubbles exists (finally he admits that) and then still insist that your Consciousness is Absolute. This does not make any sense whatsoever. And then he goes on imagining, fantasizing about connecting with other bubbles and not taking seriously the distinction between fantasy and reality. This is dangerous territory right there. Some of Leos latest teaching have become really dangerous to my mental health. I am starting to seriously consider all the accusations of him being a cult leader. He certainly knows which buttons to push. But i always defended him. Now i am starting to think that maybe it is time to leave this abusive relationship. This is how it feels the last couple of years.

@ZzzleepingBear The opposite can be directly observed. Take an imaginary butcher knife and try to cut your tongue. Now do the same with a real butcher knife. That is the difference right there. That is direct experience right there. That is truth right there. What no difference are you talking about? If you mean that both the imaginary knife and the real one are made of Consciousness, then ok with that.

@nistake Denying differences goes contrary to my direct experience. It is not a matter of logic. If someone sees or experiences no obvious difference between torture and eating ice cream then i would expect a radically different way of life lol. If i take heroin or fentanyl, i might not experience an obvious difference between eating an icecream and getting tortured. That is a valid point too. But when you come off the heroin, lets have the same conversation again. Lets run the 'experiement' and see whats up.