Zigzag Idiot

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Posts posted by Zigzag Idiot

  1. Posted · Edited by Zigzag Idiot
    added commentary to express myself a little better

    Hello readers,

    To start with. Whatever.., This communication will be most likely, non-sequitur. Most often, people are going to believe whatever they want to believe.

    For the most part, I don't lie very well. I practice when I can though. You need to be a fairly decent liar to succeed in this crazy world. I'm not exactly innocent but neither am I a sociopath. Sometimes on accident it seems,,, I'm an excellent liar.  

    I think my Journal is being read more by people who know me. From around my home town. They may be shocked or disturbed at some of the things I write. I often express with a lighthearted-ness that comes across as silly or extremely irresponsible at the expense of whatever credibility I have remaining. Having a Journal like this is, in itself fairly self-referential and can come across as self-absorbed or narcissistic. We're all narcissistic fundamentally. Being a mature person doesn't mean being overburdened with a constant display of false seriousness. Being rather unexpressive generally, my hyperbolic rhetoric sits in contrast to when I write. I'm often misunderstood. 

    (This is 10 hours later and I'm correcting some typos. I have more to say but I'm unable to put it into words,,,,, I leave entries in this journal which are unflattering. This is an attempt towards a form of being authentic and it might make some people feel uncomfortable. My apologies for that. Most of us are insecure and crave acceptance or approval. I see it in myself and admitting it makes it less,,, Displaying vulnerability can sometimes invite aggressiveness from others. IMO Forgiveness and understanding go together with self acceptance.

    Have a good day,,,

     

    The Self of the Average Individual is Deeply and Fundamentally Narcissistic

    Narcissism is a very general, basic element of ego life. The self of the average individual is deeply and fundamentally narcissistic. The complete resolution of narcissism will elude us until the achievement of self-realization. All that conventional psychotherapy can do is alleviate symptoms resulting from severe disturbances of narcissism, and, when successful, can help the individual to reach the level of the narcissism of everyday life. To proceed further and address this fundamental narcissism, only spiritual development will make a real difference. We also believe that understanding the spiritual nature of the self can help us to understand even the severe forms of narcissistic disturbance. This perspective can help us to see that we cannot separate our psychology from our spirituality, our psyche from our spirit, for we are fundamentally whole. Our self is one self, and cannot be dichotomized into a spiritual or “higher” self and a psychical or psychophysical self.

    The Point of Existence, pg. 46

  4. Posted

    Three different categories of new technologies that have enormous capacity in their potential to violate personal privacy. These advances can improve productivty which cheapens cost basis of goods and services. We should not outlaw them through legislation but they damn sure need to be looked at very carefully in their uses. Hello ACLU!!! and other folks who are concerned about abuses by those in power. Whether in the private sector or some branches of government that do not have enough oversight,,,,,

  5. Posted

     

    I

    Feel

    LOVE  sometimes       I eat carbohydrates and chocolate ice cream every day.

    I'm not above feeling hatred sometimes . It is there and then it goes away. I don't resist it. It is not me. Neither is Love.

    They are states of consciousness that pervades my beingness.

    Sometimes touches about everything.

    Timelessness is experienced sometimes.

    Words fail to go all the way around it.

    Linguistic awareness is a step down,,, burdened with an inherent angst.

     

  10. Posted

    Chaos Theory - Point attractor

                               Cycle attractor

                               Torus attractor

                               Strange attractor

    Let it speak to you through your disciplined eventual nothingness

     your own path and humiliations, experience, and stuff,,,,,,

     

  14. Posted

     

    On 1/23/2019 at 0:24 AM, Zigzag Idiot said:

    Working to maintain a space of inner quiet that's not affected by the world.

    How often do we let thoughts trigger us and ruin our day?  Do you have a mind or does your mind have you? 

     

    IMG_0239.JPG

    Nicoll psychological commentaries page 683.

    Have you got sufficient inner observation? Have you cleared and well dug a big space in your mind through the practice of inner attention and put a hedge round it and a gate so that you can hear the click of the gate and watch this darling little thought coming up the drive all ready to say: “Oh, how tired I am,” etc.? I fancy that once we let it in very far every thought gets hold of us and wrings us, takes our blood, makes us react, talk, behave, in a certain way, and then, satisfied with having dined off us, it retires for a time.

    I'm rereading my journal. Reposting this favorite quote from Maurice Nicoll,,,,,

  15. Posted

    Political correctness is bullshit. I’ve seen the backlash that it helped create. But there is definitely a need to be REAL and also be considerate of others. I’ve put my foot in my mouth so many times that I appear as a complete hypocrite and truth be known, I am. But I’m not a hater. Wait a minute. I can’t say that either,,,, because I allow myself to fully feel my hatred at times. So that qualifies me as being a liar on top of everything else. 
    We all have natural prejudices but can we honestly admit them and be open minded about their existence.
    Now that I’ve dismantled my credibility once again. 

    Regarding skillful means, Ken Wilber said “meet people where you find them.” That not always an easy thing to do.


     

  16. Posted

    Tolle makes a statement here that is a good opener for a conversation.

    Becoming aware of one’s own internal dialogue.  Then being disturbed by being unable to be free of it. That’s my experience of it anyhow. There’s a variation to it over the years. Becoming comfortable or at home with it has definitely been a part of the process. The ability to become free of it at will is a major threshold. 
    Non-conceptual awareness or objectless awareness is a state of consciousness that comes about when the internal dialogue disappears and you are ‘present’ with 3 centered awareness. Relatively, peace and understanding arrive with witness consciousness. This state of consciousness is precarious. More so, the more one is subjected to the crazy world we live in. Internal dialogue can suddenly flood in onto the mind with its variety of possible effects. Self remembering then becomes an individual responsibility for sanity,,,,,

     

  17. Posted

    Tolle makes a statement here that is a good opener for a conversation.

    Becoming aware of one’s own internal dialogue.  Then being disturbed by being unable to be free of it. That’s my experience of it anyhow. There’s a variation to it over the years. Becoming comfortable or at home with it has definitely been a part of the process. The ability to become free of it at will is a major threshold. 
    Non-conceptual awareness or objectless awareness is a state of consciousness that comes about when the internal dialogue disappears and you are ‘present’ with 3 centered awareness. Relatively, peace and understanding arrive with witness consciousness. This state of consciousness is precarious. More so, the more one is subjected to the crazy world we live in. Internal dialogue can suddenly flood in onto the mind with its variety of possible effects. Self remembering then becomes an individual responsibility for sanity,,,,,

     

  22. Posted

    Obviously no one has offered an opinion. That’s fine. I perhaps understand. Often times I find myself somewhat peeved at responses from others that seem to rather have a condescending tone. It’s simply not skillful means. I would like to stay away from that kind of one-ups-man-ship or holier-than -thou dialogue. I really do welcome blunt feedback on my communication skills,,,,

    My I Ching reading for today was rather foreboding, yet there is most always hope and light to seen in the overall messages.

    96F73AAF-D964-40DD-AA5C-F38E7DB4A141.jpeg

     

     

  23. Posted

    4 out of 40

    To be brutally honest. I experience a certain amount of pride in not testing high in Narcissistic qualities. This implies an inherent contradiction. To be more blunt, I believe this test be rather shallow and rather high on the scale of  bullshito. 

    It's not my intention to be overtly antagonistic though,,,,,?‍♂️✌

    The Last Element Which Supports Narcissism

    This clarifies the observation that one of the main sources of narcissism is the self-reflective capacity of the normal self. More precisely, one of the main characteristics of narcissism is self-consciousness, an outcome of the normal self’s capacity for self-reflection. It is only at the level of the Absolute that this characteristic disappears. It does not disappear at the earlier stages of self-realization, not even at the level of nonconceptual reality because there is always consciousness when we reflect. The ego-self hangs on to this consciousness, even nonconceptual consciousness, by self-reflection. In the experience of nonconceptual reality, we perceive pure consciousness when looking backward or inward. In the experience of the Absolute, consciousness disappears when we attempt to reflect. The experience then is not self-consciousness but cessation of all consciousness. We could say that in the self-realization of the absolute truth, our front is the perception of phenomena, which is the same as the phenomena, and our back is total cessation. The quality of this depth of Being, whose nature is total cessation, dissolves self-consciousness. This eliminates the last element which supports narcissism.

    The Point of Existence, pg. 426

    The Root of Narcissism

    In the experience of self-realization, the self recognizes its identity as presence. When a person is identified with something other than the primordial presence, self-realization is absent. He is not then being himself; he is not simply being. He is not one with his essence. The most fundamental and deepest aspect of the soul is absent in his experience of himself. This is the root of narcissism. In narcissism, the experience of the self is disconnected from its core, from the depths of what it is. It is estranged from its true nature, exiled from its primordial home. The soul’s estrangement from its true nature is the basis of narcissism. Here, we are using the term narcissism in the colloquial sense, similar to what is referred to as narcissistic disturbance in psychoanalytic terminology.

    The Point of Existence, pg. 26

    The Self of the Average Individual is Deeply and Fundamentally Narcissistic

    Narcissism is a very general, basic element of ego life. The self of the average individual is deeply and fundamentally narcissistic. The complete resolution of narcissism will elude us until the achievement of self-realization. All that conventional psychotherapy can do is alleviate symptoms resulting from severe disturbances of narcissism, and, when successful, can help the individual to reach the level of the narcissism of everyday life. To proceed further and address this fundamental narcissism, only spiritual development will make a real difference. We also believe that understanding the spiritual nature of the self can help us to understand even the severe forms of narcissistic disturbance. This perspective can help us to see that we cannot separate our psychology from our spirituality, our psyche from our spirit, for we are fundamentally whole. Our self is one self, and cannot be dichotomized into a spiritual or “higher” self and a psychical or psychophysical self.

    The Point of Existence, pg. 46

  24. Posted

    i sound like an asshole and a Zen Devil sometimes,,, I think. A strange combination of arrogance and humbleness so often found with people in this forum who take it upon themselves to give advice or encouragement of some kind 

    Does my reply have that flavor? I ask for vote on this matter from anyone reading along. Especially moderators. I ask for brutal honesty

    Vote

    •            1)  It has the smell of Zen Devil
    •            2)  It was an appropriate response  
    •            3)  I'm annoying dealing with Asperger's/ insecurity psychological blindspot
    •            4)  I'm a genius and everyone loves me for the most part

    .6B5D3690-02A8-49B0-9F91-C6106EA1B94F.jpeg 

    Use your own language and tell it like you see it if so compelled.

  25. Posted

    14 minutes ago, ElenaO said:

    I have a small child. I do feel both guilt and anger at the same time always when it comes to situations that my child doesn't do something I really need. This only happens if I am not at my best. If I am feeling fine I usually won't get angry. But to your point, I do agree - these come hand in hand for a parent. I am also afraid that if I do feel anger actually my boy can feel it. Even if I don't say anything or do anything.

    What You've written reminded me of some AH Almaas material. In his work he studied developmental psychology and Object relations theory quite extensively. I just choose one of the excerpts from the following webpage.  https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/negative-merging

    Thank you for responding . My hope is for you to gain some catharsis from this material. Or put another way, understanding through Love and healing . Or Love and healing through understanding.

     

    Genetic Source of Negative Merging

    It is important to consider here the genetic source of negative merging. Object relations theory would consider the source to be primarily the frustration and inadequate gratification in the interaction between infant and mother. This is clearly true, but we see another important, but rarely recognized, source: the infant is actually in a real merged relationship with its mother, not only a delusional one. In other words, the consciousness of the infant not only does not differentiate where a certain feeling is coming from, but is also in a complete state of empathy. The infant feels everything in the environment, especially in his mother. This is what it means to be in a merged state; it is a merged consciousness, not only a perception of common boundaries. Thus the mother’s state has a direct effect on the infant. Mothers know this phenomenon very well. Psychotherapists know this both from their empathic capacities and from the reports of their severely disturbed patients who cannot tell their feelings from those of others. During the symbiotic phase the infant is in complete contact with the mother’s consciousness. He feels her joy, her fear, her anger, her pain, her frustration, her weakness and so on. But he is not aware that these are the mother’s feelings, for he has no sense of a separate self. So what he feels and what mother experiences make up the content of his merged relationship with her.

    Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 246