Zigzag Idiot

@mandyjw My mother has always had problems with insomnia. I also learned earlier in life that she went through a horrible postpartum depression after I was born. I really feel for women who experience this. It's bound to have a good degree of guilt that mixes in and aggravates the condition.

Part speculation part observation,,,, ?‍♂️ If your orientation is that you love truth so that it will change you and make you a happier person, your orientation is out of sync with how things objectively are; if you see reality as it is, you can’t help but love it. It follows, then, that objectively there is no evil. We see evil only when we perceive reality through a filter. A person who behaves in what we consider evil ways is a person acting through a distortion. In spiritual work, concepts of a devil, of dark forces, of some evil that exists on its own outside of the goodness of reality are considered manifestations of ignorance, both in terms of believing in such concepts and in terms of the manifestations attributed to such forces. All spiritual work would be pointless if there were such a thing as ultimate evil. There is No Evil Person Seeing things from this perspective, we see that there is no one who is really bad. No one is evil in an absolute way. Everyone does what he thinks is good. There is no bad person, there is no evil person; there is only the ignorant person. From https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/evil

I was thinking evil manifests in Culture deriving from mechanicalness,,,,,,? Appeasing the herd,,,

Could evil be considered coming from the conditioning of acquired Conscience from the Collective ego as opposed to inner truth from Awakened Conscience?

@Alex bAlex However much the spirit moves you. Let it rip! ?

I like a similar frame of reference. Content and Context. Context for me means abiding with attention in peripheral vision.

Metanoia Forgiveness and Metanoia. Practicing forgiveness means a change of heart, reversal or letting go which manifests peace. A. T. Robertson concurs with Butler. Regarding the translation of metanoia as repentance, Robertson calls it "a linguistic and theological tragedy."[26] Regarding John the Baptist's call to "repent" as a translation of the Greek metanoeite, Robertson quotes Broadus as saying that this is "the worst translation in the New Testament." Repent means "to be sorry," but John's call was not to be sorry, but to change mental attitudes [metanoeite] and conduct.[27] Robertson lamented the fact that in his time there was no English word that signified the meaning of the Greek μετάνοια (metanoia).[28] Aloys H. Dirksen in his The New Testament Concept of Metanoia argues against metanoia as merely “repentance” and for metanoia as “conversion.”[29] Other[who?] have characterized the translation of metanoia/μετάνοια as "repentance" with similar negativity. Repentance is an "unsuitable" translation.[30] It is "totally inadequate" to carry the meaning of metanoia.[31] From https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metanoia_(theology) Abandoning compulsive nonstop over analyzing. According to Ichazo, Divine Love is “The awareness that ,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,, As soon as the mind’s word mechanism is destroyed, love, the natural condition of the mind, appears. Love begins the moment man contemplates the Creation and says, ‘Thank you, God.’ All men feel this somewhat, no animal can feel this at all. Man alone can know that all comes from God.” From https://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/showthread.php/48274-Oscar-Ichazo-s-enneagram-descriptions

Not meaning to sound overly dramatic but this song has been a part of a repeated mystical experience. These guys got together for a short time in the 80's. George Harrison, Bob Dillon, Tom Petty wrote and put together a lot of their songs over a week long period at a reclusive rural location. I think they shared some psychedelics and produced a song about Alchemy and transformation of Consciouness. In my mind they were mystics hiding in plain sight. We become miserable living outside in but find peace when we live it inside out. ... A miracle inverts perception which was upside down before, and thus it ends the strange distortions that were manifest. Now is perception open to the truth. - From ACIM

A King of Hearts (Intellectual part of Emotional Center) is not the same as the Queen of Diamonds (Emotional Part of Intellectual Center). Nor is the Jack of Diamonds (Moving part of Intellectual center) the same as the King of Spades (Intellectual Part of Moving Center). In this deck, the Queen of Hearts (Emotional Part of Emotional Center), the King of Diamonds (Intellectual Part of Intellectual Center) and the Jack of Spades (Moving Part of Moving Center) represent pure emotion, pure thought, and pure movement. When people go to their "third center," the one that is not part of their Centering or trap, they usually go there very appropriately. That is because they only go there for a specific reason: to become balanced. The Higher Centers and the Instinctive Center also have parts, but the distinctions are minor and not necessary for a basic discussion of Centering. In Higher Intellectual center, people get the greater concept of why they are here, what life is about, and why it is going a certain way. In the positive pole of the Higher Intellectual there is sense of what is really so, truth that is profoundly, exactly right, not in just a specific circumstance, but so large that it could be applied to a wide variety of things. Seeing how life fits together comes from the Higher Intellectual Center. Conscience—living in the truth and knowing what is deception and what is not—is seated in the Higher Intellectual Center. Contentment or an intellectual sense of fulfillment, i.e. "all's right with the world," also comes from the Higher Intellectual Center. Philosophy, informational channeling, and true self‑knowledge are higher-intellectual experiences. The negative pole of the higher intellectual is telepathy or a partial sense of the truth. Mind‑reading is an example. It is knowing the truth but just on this particular level of having the same thought at the same time. This is, needless to say, trivial in comparison to the whole. from: https://www.michaeleducationalfoundation.com/the-seven-centers

English is not Ocke's native language and this is a horrible interview. But Ocke understands Gurdjieff better than anyone, IME. says Conscience is the intelligence of the Universe,,,,,, http://www.higherbeingbodies.com/ Ocke: One of the aims of our Work is to bring us in contact with Conscience, which is in our subconsciousness. Conscience is the inner memory for those actions necessary to bring any given situation back in tune with Unity. Although this definition of Conscience is correct, it stays incomplete, because Conscience cannot be reasoned but must come into Being.

@modmyth Didn't mean to be implying that you are/were neurotic just now. I was referring to myself. Im suddenly unable to articulate myself this evening.

I should also state flat out. With as much sincerity as I can convey - I'm a fake it till you make it can of guy. Ive stated previously what a hypocrite I'm am. This seems to come across as arrogance to some. And they're right from a certain perspective.

I would phrase it that my Automaton likes Cheetos. I'm a believer/practicer of feeding the wolf in order to pacify it For a bit. Tricky business, but then so I Being in the world. At times anyhow. Making deals so to speak. I just looked for a Martin Butler podcast that articulated this idea very well but I couldn't find it.. I'm glad you like the Journaling community music journal. I've never really gave Tool much of a listen/chance but I love Alex Greys artwork. ?

I'm a self diagnosed Borderline Aspergers and have also tended towards hyperactivity. Cynthia Bourgeault gives a short description of Centering Prayer and how with a minimum of 2 twenty minute practices a day we can start affecting our neaural networks. This Im pretty sure allows the parasympathetic side of our nerves system to let up which results in things like having no startle response and experience some degree of peace. Not being reactive,,, seems there is a long gradient in this work for the vast majority who take it on. Ive shared it this death and I still do because she expresses it all so effectively in 25 minuets for those who are interested.

A good song to ponder about being a Breatharian. Love makes a person invulnerable like honey badger,,,,

Me too, @Shiva . I can't get away from my sugar addiction. I notice my tendency toward negativity the more sugar I consume.

I see a Breathairian as the same thing as a Yogi. Maurice Nicoll hinted at this in his Psychological Commentaries. Gurdjieff said we have 3 foods. 'Regular food', air, and impressions. Nicoll suggested that a person who doesn't take impressions in a negative way creates all that is needed with thier energy flow. I liked the reference to Yogananda in the last one. It's the only one I've watched yet.

Really enjoyed this video shared by Anderz in his ACIM Journal. Reminded me of a part of chapter 9 in ACIM. T-9.VIII.1. Grandeur is of God, and only of Him. 2 Therefore it is in you. 3 Whenever you become aware of it, however dimly, you abandon the ego automatically, because in the presence of the grandeur of God the meaninglessness of the ego becomes perfectly apparent. 4 When this occurs, even though it does not understand it, the ego believes that its "enemy" has struck, and attempts to offer gifts to induce you to return to its "protection." 5 Self-inflation is the only offering it can make. 6 The grandiosity of the ego is its alternative to the grandeur of God. 7 Which will you choose? T-9.VIII.2. Grandiosity is always a cover for despair. 2 It is without hope because it is not real. 3 It is an attempt to counteract your littleness, based on the belief that the littleness is real. 4 Without this belief grandiosity is meaningless, and you could not possibly want it. 5 The essence of grandiosity is competitiveness, because it always involves attack. 6 It is a delusional attempt to outdo, but not to undo. 7 We said before that the ego vacillates between suspiciousness and viciousness. 8 It remains suspicious as long as you despair of yourself. 9 It shifts to viciousness when you decide not to tolerate self-abasement and seek relief. 10 Then it offers you the illusion of attack as a "solution." ,,,,,,,,,, https://acourseinmiraclesnow.com/course-miracles-chapter-9-viii-grandeur-versus-grandiosity/

I'm taking a break from taking a break from narrative consciousness.

I love Phoebe Snow's voice. The way she changes some notes with a crack in her voice.

Almaas gives a fair amount of discourse on the Logos. Basically he goes to a great deal of trouble to say, - 'shit happens',,,, The Universal Mind in its dynamic form is what is called the Logos; it is the level of the changes and transformations within reality, according to the noetic forms of the Nous. The Logos has both life and death in it; it does not say that one is better than the other. One simply comes after the other; or more accurately, things just change and transform. Ocean becomes rain, and rain becomes ocean. The Logos does not say which one is better. It just does both. Diamond Heart Book Four, pg. 339 https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/logos

The practice of Centering Prayer has allowed me to experience empty beingness. Non conceptual awareness or objectless awareness. Monkey mind on either side but with practice the experience of objectless awareness can be expanded into a few minutes. Pryor to practicing Centering Prayer meditation was a few months where I attempted Zazen practice, which is very similar. This was about 4 years ago.

Seeing this clip reminded me of what I am as an Enneatype 6 fear (doubting) type more so than my Virgoness. Overcompensating type that's me. Just like Baby face Nelson. I don't act like the Character George but,,, well yeah sometimes I do,,,, The inner process,,,, Overcompensating is the key word. It's how I pinpointed typing myself on the Enneagram.

You can't get anymore tragic-romantic than Barry Manilow. I had to make myself go ahead and put that last song on there because it was making me innerconsider like crazy. To innerconsider that @Mandy and @jabrams would think I was flirting so I went ahead and posted it as an exercise against inner considering. This post is my attempt at external considering on behalf of Mandy and Jon. I can sleep sound tonight knowing that I did my best in explaining the data from my Causal body. Like a joke that breaks the tension. I leave behind no traps of projection. I've got a lot going on at once. The thought came to me that George Clooney is the embodiment of basic trust when he plays the role of Everett having a conversation with Dan the Bible salesman. https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/basic-trust