Zigzag Idiot

An expression of victim mentality - Woundology http://www.halexandria.org/dward044.htm

Random excerpts from Gems of Wisdom QUALITIES OF AN EVOLVED PERSON “We realize what an immense gap lies between ourselves and a man who is living more consciously than we do, a man who notices when he is becoming identified, a man who sees when he is becoming prey to imaginary anxieties and fears, a man who is sharply aware of the fact that he is justifying himself. This is a gap so great that if we ever have such a moment of insight we cannot help feeling by contract the enormous deficiencies in our quality of Being...But let me add one thing here—i.e., that if you begin to see all this about your state of Being you are already much further on, however hopeless you may feel, than a person who has never caught such glimpses of himself or herself, because it is exactly this feeling of vacuum, of deficiency, of lack, that is the starting point of work on one’s own Being.” V. 2, pp. 704-5 SELF-SATISFACTION II “As regards the remark that this Work is selfish, you must all understand that this Work . . . is something that destroys your self-complacency, your selfishness, your self-esteem, your fantasies about yourself, your pictures of yourself and, in short, your False Personality. It makes you see yourself naked—makes you see that you have to do something about yourself before you try to help other people.” V. 3, p. 849 PERSONALITY AND ESSENCE “As the feeling of ‘I’ is drawn out of the active man (personality) so does the passive man (essence) become strengthened until the time comes when the passive man becomes active and the active man passive. That is, a reversal takes places and the inner controls the outer, not the outer the inner...If we were all more in Essence than we are at present everything would be much more real, much more genuine, much more simple, much more true.” V. 1, p. 286, V. 2, p. 718 ESSENCE AND SINCERITY “Now for the Essence, or inner part of us, to grow and become gradually active, a man must be able to be utterly sincere with himself when the occasion arises. Essence cannot grow from anything false.” V. 2, p. 445

Caution! Visiting this website can result in a warp in time where half a day can disappear. http://www.halexandria.org/home.htm About the Author The official homepage of Dan Sewell Ward Dan Sewell Ward -- also known as Daniel Sewell DocPtah Ward, Dan S. Ward, Daniel Alexander Nightwolf, HRH Daniel of Riordan, and variations on the same person -- is delighted to announce: The Library of ialexandriah Website ialexandria.org (or .com) is a Synthesis of new physics, Sacred Geometry, ancient and modern history, Multiple Universes & realities, Consciousness, the Ha Qabala and ORME, Extraterrestrial Life, Corporate Rule and politics, law, order and Entropy, Trial by Jury, monetary policy, scientific anomalies, and a whole host of other subjects ranging from Astrology and astrophysics to Superstrings and Sonoluminescence to biblical and geologic histories to Numerology, the Tarot, and Creating Reality. Most of the contents are factual, although there are reality-based Novels, Poetry, Screenplays, and Stageplays just for the sake of completeness. Okay, so it's a large, extended website. ialexandria's primary author is none other than Daniel Sewell DocPtah Ward, a being of infinite jest and... well... whatever. Visually, he looks something like...(over there, on the left) Daniel holds (there's not much else to do with it) a Ph.D. in Nuclear Physics from the University of Texas at Austin, as well as a Bachelor of Engineering Science from the same university. He is the author of over one hundred and fifty technical and semi-technical articles in a variety of scientific journals, magazines and conference proceedings, and has been doing research in a wide diversity of scientific disciplines and esoteric subjects for over three decades. (Actually longer, but he's trying to think young.) These subjects include nuclear and elementary particle physics, solar energy (including building the world's first solar heated and cooled house), the economics and politics of alternative energy systems, Zero-Point Energy, Cold Fusion, Sacred Geometry, ancient history, goddess-related topics, Hyperdimensional Physics, the enigma of Crop Circles, and the list goes on and on. As a true synergistic generalist, Dr. Ward is also a teacher, prolific writer, theoretical and experimental researcher, futurist, and unrepentant humorist (specializing in puns). He is currently President and Chief Scientist of Quantum Genesis, L.L.C., and CEO and Chancellor of ialexandria Foundationh. Just for the fun of it, he has also assumed the following titles (for those impressed with such things): HRH Daniel Sewell DocPtah Ward Scion de En.Ki. Comte de Blase Duc de Excalibur First Earl of Cameseldom Patron of the Royal Order of Riordan Beloved Consort to the House of Inanna/Isis/Astarte Technomagick Fellow of the Hermetic Order Excathedra Beneficent Iron Dragon in the Court of Queen Boudicca Knight Grand Commander of the Texas Protective Rangers Supreme Exalted Chancellor of Halexandria Head Honcho, Quantum Genesis. L.L.C. Humble servant of Antarah of Scorpio Sumerian Historiographer Royal Sacred Geometrist of Orion Jester without Portfolio The latter title implies that Daniel is a Jester, but one who is currently not attached to any established royal court. In other words, Daniel is "nobody's fool". (This should suggest the level of legitimacy of the other titles.) But if one really wants to get down to the nitty gritty, there are also the enclosed resumes -- hardly sufficient for anyone so prolific (or just able to type very, very fast), but enough to provide a few clues. The first rendition of the resume is somewhat out of the ordinary, but then again, so is the second version. One might even conclude that the author/subject is also out of the ordinary. But then, Uniqueness Implies Value. So there!

Good point @tsuki This makes me consider,,,,, from Gems of Wisdom- BEARING UNPLEASANT MANIFESTATIONS “One sign of Being is the capacity to bear the unpleasant manifestations of others. Why is this a sign of greater Being? The answer is that you cannot do this unless you have seen in yourself what you dislike in others...When you have just criticized someone, go over what you said carefully and apply it to yourself. This neutralizes poison in you.” V. 1, pp. 168, 176 OVERCOMING THE PAST “The overcoming of the past is one great line of personal work on yourself. Most people have such a great register of unhappy moments which they have nourished so much...The whole of the past must be cancelled eventually. In other words, you must have nothing against anyone.” V. 3, p. 811 OVERCOMING THE PAST II “It is quite useless to forgive: you have to cancel. And this is always done by finding the same thing in yourself, and you will always find it if you are sincere...You must remember here that you may not have said something unpleasant externally yourself but you have thought something and consented to it.” V. 3, p. 812

I would frame it like this- To Awaken is to become transpersonal. "Two brained" animals, to use Gurdjieff speak can never awaken because they don't have a neocortex...?

"To know the way, understand the great within yourself" (25. ii) A hen cannot give birth to a dog nor can a stone placed in the soil Produce a tree. Each thing births that which is in its own image, like itself and of its own nature. We come from greatness and we return from whence we came. Greatness can only birth Greatness, this is the law. The mind cannot comprehend Greatness because it is a recoil into fear, a strategy to avoid Greatness. Fear Is the absence of Greatness; mind is blind to all but it's own contents, thus remember yourself and know Greatness. From page 38 I'm enjoying Red Hawk's latest book. For centuries the Tao Te Ching, the book of ancient wisdom by Lao Tsu, has offered insight, inspiration and consolation to millions of readers. Although numberless translations and commentaries exist around the world, Return to the Mother, A Lover's Handbook, is a groundbreaking effort and a unique contribution to the canon of American poetry. In this volume, internationally known poet Red Hawk offers what no other poet has yet undertaken⎯that is, to write poetic reflections on these much-loved ancient sutras. This collection of 94 contemporary poem (each 16-lines), brings this perennial wisdom into the twenty-first century--and adds the flavor and fragrance of Zen and Gurdjieff's dharma teachings in a spare poetic marriage with Lao Tsu. Further, each poem invites the reader into the application of this wisdom to his or her daily practice of self observation and self remembering. The poet begs for a return to the true self, which he symbolizes as the place of the Mother within. No lengthy discursive explanations are offered, however, only exquisite lines that pierce to the heart of human longing for truth. Our Mother has no words, She is Silence, She is the present, here- now. To be here-now, in this body, is to return to Our Mother, relaxed, soft, open, receptive: kind. Kindness is the nature of Our Mother, Non-Judgmental Love is Her Being, and we are Her children, made in Her image. This volume is a companion and completion to the author's two previous volumes Self Observation: The Awakening of Conscience. An Owner's Manual; and Self Remembering: The Path to Non-Judgmental Love. A Practitioner's Manual. Taken together, these three volumes form a trilogy, which examines the spiritual practice of self remembering/self observation. The author writes from long personal study and experience. His years of discipleship within religious schools of esoteric knowledge, allows him to share what has been gained and lost from following a Path. The inner struggles of this type of work on self are rendered with raw precision, while being beautifully delineated in these poems. Any reader will benefit from the fruits of understanding the poet has gained from these struggles.

In a hot shower just a moment ago I thought, A global brush fire of Metanoia in the human population will trigger the eschaton.

Having strait posture is pretty key in meditation as opposed to slouching. Only recently have I felt ok with openly being an advocate for cannabis. Discovering the lives and biographies of Terence McKenna, Graham Hancock, Rupert Sheldrake, and others makes the point that we are not all the same biochemically and that many people function much better self medicating with cannabis juxtaposed to industrial pharmaceuticals.

Sitting with sad songs. Processing. Feeling it and letting it go.

@rNOW I share your appreciation of A New Earth and Conversations with God. In the past 5 years I've been more into rereading books. The Oracle of the Cosmic Way by Carol Anthony and Hanna Moog has been very influential on me. It's a modern reworking of the I CHING which I consult almost daily as a tool of Divination. Two books by Red Hawk. Self Observation - The Awakening of Conscience Self Remembering - The Path to Non-Judgemental Love. Two books by Ocke de Boer. Higher Being Bodies Two Souls

Allow Your True Self to Blossom by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2019 Dr. Jim Rosen It is absolutely not possible that you are not a good person on the inside. You are a child of God. You’re a creation of God. And God is pure love. It is not possible that you (the real you on the inside) are made of anything other than what God is. Remember, you are not a body. You are pure mind and spirit. You are not your outward behaviors, nor are you your emotional reactions. You are your essence. You are your true self and only that. So, building your self-esteem in not a matter of making yourself over and changing who you are. It means instead to recognize who you really are and allow your true self to blossom.

We're all transparent. Be horrified,,,,

I'm just waiting around until I die I guess. I worked my ass off for thirty years. Paid in a lot of taxes, social security, etc.,, I'm not rich enough to travel the world but that's alright I've seen a good bit of it. Im just sittin around on my ass and feeling ok about it.

My father was a self made man. He drove his own Commercial big truck, always had 5 side businesses and would shovel shit or run a chain saw, etc. whatever was necessary. In 66 years he done a whole lot of living. So don't get the idea, I've had an easy time of it.

Hey,,,,You got something there. I'm getting ideas!!! ?

Up keep of the ranch was the bottomless money pit. The lifestyle turned me insane but then I'm sure I would have gone insane anyhow.

My Father, the paradoxical Saint. That's the title of a book I should write. He passed away in 2006. I turned over 2 herds of Cattle and responsibility over the family ranch to a partnership formed by my niece and two nephews. My mother is in control of the land through a Trust. I just walked away from everything within the last year. No I'm not wealthy but at least I'm now free to do whatever I want. I have no debt. I got sick of working my ass off just to pay more taxes. Besides all the violence that's an unavoidable necessity with ranching and it being an endless money pit. I'm glad to be free of it. Now what?

@Preety_India ? You're right on that. Although I'm very adrenal (Mars) Essence (body) and in outer personality. Inwardly I'm influenced heavily by swift, secretive, Mercury.

I only thought I had been taking fairly pure lsd. Whew,,, This stuff was really something. @Bill W I hid a couple of nonsense posts that I made in your Journal. I appreciate your patience. Still trying to get my head screwed on,,,,,,