Zigzag Idiot

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  1. Thank you Annie for wishing me well. That's appreciated. I see that attribute missing in a great deal of the population, Too many people are just interested in putting themselves above others no matter the cost of becoming asleep to their own conscience. I make no claims of purity or being good except for irreverent bullshit hyperbole I spout every now and then. My being is always in flux and I try to remember my Self (capital S or Higher Self) some would call it. As often as I can. I do feel quite a bit better this morning. With the covid pandemic and feeling so terrible. It just triggers that fear or possibility. My father passed on when he was 66 yrs old from kidney cancer. When he passed I just set that as my possible time of departure. He pushed himself in the extreme attempting his life aims. Though I haven't accomplished as much as he, we have much in common. I don't take care of myself, eat badly and have been exposed to carcinogens to an outrageous degree. In the number thereof and volume. Given the commonality of our genetics, me and my father. I placed my departure from this planet at 66 years old just to add some sobriety to my overall perspective instead of thinking I'm going to life forever. At almost 55, this gives me 11 years hypothetically and quite arbitrary too I suppose. I don't want to be caught off guard. When my day comes, I want to be ready for it. Maybe even enthusiastic for the oncoming event. Hope your day is good,,, David
  2. @MuadDib @Myioko Thank you!
  3. This is in the spirit of my previous post. I reserve the right to tell you that I love you. Maybe even with tear filled eyes thinking of how precious life is. Then in half an hour tell you what a son of a bitch you are. All of us are this way. We’re naturally multidimensional and not necessarily bipolar. Don’t worry about your self image. Just have your being. I try to observe my preachiness. It’s not meant that way. I trusted a fart earlier and shit on myself TMI I know. Not to mention gross. I know it sounds dramatic but It’s possible I may die sometime soon. I hope not. I keep it an aim to stay in contact with lightheartedness. Physical suffering makes it difficult.
  4. I’ve had a flu like sickness overwhelm me. I lay here in bed with fever, chills and aches. It may be Covid. I don’t know. It seems like it takes a great effort to type anything out. I love you. This happens often whenever I’m in pain. I get weepy and tend to be overly expressive and emotional. But definitely not expressed loudly. I love you. Whoever I see or think about,,,,,, It’s probably awkward to read. For some anyway.
  5. Interesting relevant commentary in Tami Simon’s interview with Ken Wilber. Differing levels of testosterone in men and women’s bodies and the affects of this relative to compulsive behaviors.
  6. I agree with Roy. Looking at this from an evolutionary perspective. With our mostly hairless and delicate bodies. This requires an extremely high sex drive over the millennia to ensure the survival of our species. The culture ego impinges on our sexual expressions. As in the shaming of us through religious dogma and other manipulations. By dividing us against ourselves through the use of shame we become pawns on the chessboard of life for those who are in power. Condensing this post makes my views seem more cynical than they probably are. This short clip of Mckenna kinda embodies the attitude and being energy of one who has dealt with the cultural conditioning of the superego. (Our internalized critic.) An obvious stumbling block is self deception which we would use to go hog wild sexually (Our red energy, lower chakras or instinctual drives and energy. One of my guideposts in the navigation of reclaiming my sexual expression and red energy away from the cultural conditioning is to -NOT IMPOSE MY WILL ON OTHERS. Purifying our emotional center doesn’t happen overnight. Getting a handle on our reactivity is difficult. Developing the capacity for bossing my animal around, to put it in lighthearted terms,,,,,Metaphorically I throw mine a cookie on a regular basis and not attempt to completely bully my lower natures. Ironically I believe this leads to awakening of conscience. I’m still a work in progress.
  7. Good stuff everyone. I appreciate the distinction that's made between deficiency needs and being needs. That is between tier 1 and 2,,,, I've heard it said that in second tier one is more often working from the initiative of selfish fulfillment or inspiration. Yellow The transition from the First Tier of Consciousness to the Yellow level of the Second Tier is a “momentous leap” according to Clare Graves (1974, 2005), when the individual realizes that equally distributing resources among all people and expecting that all humans are equally good and loving creates more problems than it solves. This leap may occur when life conditions change to seriously threaten survival, and the individual/species has to relearn survival (Graves,2002). There are currently a small number of individuals who operate from the Second Tier of existence, but the species as a whole has not yet evolved to this level (Ooten, 2010). http://www.consciousdynamicsllc.com/home/levels_of_consciousness.html
  8. Let go he reminds. He’s been putting out quite a bit lately on his Patreon channel. I paraphrase Almaas- - Don’t reach conclusions and avoid becoming miserable.
  9. It's been hitting 100 degrees Fahrenheit for the last week. All the vegetation is going dormant. I'm doing a lot of laundry because I sweat -out so many changes of clothes. My I-phone survived going through the washing machine! I couldn't believe that it still worked. I've been putting off replacing my Subaru windshield for over a year. Gonna take care of that tomorrow. Living large ,,, ya know. Life in the fast lane,,,,, Hyperbolic rhetoric or rhetorical hyperbole. That's how my grandmother communicated. It defines my style of writing at times. I come by it honestly. In person though, I'm pretty deadpan.
  10. Acquired conscience vs. Awakened conscience I'm full of bullshit sometimes and I'm okay with that. Because it doesn't matter, If I wasn't okay with my periodic bullshit ways. I would be divided against myself. I try not to dismiss or justify my errors but sometimes I probably do. When I err and it causes someone else offence or hardship I try to sit with it and cook. Remorse of conscience informs me and does so properly. The self sustained stain of guilt is a perpetual vicious circle. It's a worthless burden put on mankind by dogmatic religions. It's my experience that guilt blocks the awakening of conscience. So self forgiveness is a necessity and also to see what you don't like in others is also within oneself most often. When it's noticed. Everything is cancelled out. To borrow a line from Rob Brezney. "My morality is always on the verge of collapsing". My automaton or animal is an absolute slut. Guilt is often mixed with acquired conscience. Acquired conscience changes over time and is different between different cultures. This is our conditioning and super ego. Our internalized critic that doesn't come from our inner self but rather an auto-pilot critic from childhood conditioning. We should show kindness towards our elders because even though they had a hand in our conditioning; they've carried this burden longer than us younger folk. Awakened conscience is different and is the same in all awakened people. The 'language of the smile' is a cousin to awakened conscience. Awakened conscience is the intelligence of the Cosmos. It's the golden rule. Do unto others as you would want to be treated. We're all fools and a variety of them as well. A ship of fools is my so called "I". Make yourself vulnerable and Insecure people will mock you sometimes. This can grow you. Forgive yourself as needed. If anyone does you wrong and makes you angry. Forgive them so you won't hate yourself. Over and out. See you later alligator,,,
  11. Guess Who? Who? No I asked Guess Who. Thinking of The Who. Now who do you think this is? Go ahead and guess,,,, The Guess Who, I guess. No. It’s The who. Good guess though. Can you guess who this is? No. Who? It’s The Guess Who. More Guess Who,,,, Who? No, Just guess who,,,, The Guess Who, I guess. Here’s some more of The Who. No more guessing who.
  12. A excerpt from one of Cynthia Bourgeault’s online courses which is an excerpt from the Teachings brought forward by the mystic George Gurdjieff. Fifth Striving: "The striving always to assist the most rapid perfecting of other beings, both those similar to oneself and those of other forms, up to the degree of the sacred Martfotai, that is, up to the degree of self-individuality." The fifth striving may be one of the hardest as it places us in the position of a Teacher. Teaching can take many roles, from being a good parent, to sharing in a group, to being a guru with hundreds of disciples. Listen to your conscience and find your niche. As with every path of action, ego presents the greatest obstacle. Ego is like a stick with two ends. One end is the arrogant self-aggrandizing character, and the other is the meek self-deprecating character. What they have in common is their focus on the egoic self : "I am so great" or "I am so nothing." True humility balances the two and is the only place where selfless action can occur. Most of those who avoid the responsibility to teach use the egoic "I am so nothing" excuse. Do not underestimate your capabilities and do not be afraid to make a few mistakes. Teaching is the best way to learn. "When the Teacher is ready, the students appear." “Teaching is the best way to learn.“ - This is a statement which is also echoed in A Course in Miracles. ACIM and the Teachings brought forward by Gurdjieff are stressing the metaphorical interpretations of the New Testament.
  13. Let's be real reactive now Of course responding consciously is always the preferred and more beneficial way juxtaposed to the reactivity that comes from our untamed animal selves. The village Idiot is a wild card Joker and there are many varieties of them. Whatever town or metropolis you live in or nearby. Everyone takes their turn in this almost inevitable kind of reactivity. The crucial element in evolving is always the return to the state and station of Ordinary Idiot. Sometimes crow is served up by one's own hand, to be eaten. Sometimes not. Not all instances of return to Ordinary Idiot requires an apology to another Idiot or Egonaut. The freedom attained in apologizing to another and the forgiveness that comes from your own heart boosts its capacity for emanating. Forgiving yourself is vital. Forgiving another, when necessary, keeps you from hating yourself. Don't bury your hatred like a self deceptive Zen Devil. And the nature of self deception being what it is, makes for a huge hurtle. No matter your essence or personality type. Say for instance you find yourself feeling betrayed in some way. Then becoming reactive you hit your uncle with a charred hamburger patty and you scream at your favorite Aunt that she's a goddamn cu** from hell. It's unlikely that you suddenly recognize your foolishness and say, "Oh my goodness! Look at how badly I have erred and behaved. Let us sit in meditation or hold hands and pray." Usually it will take at least a day or so of reflection, pondering, and more importantly a period of some deep sleep with good REM cycles. I'm a Mars/jovial/solar (adrenal dominant) endocrine type. So I've had these unfortunate events happen to me that puts me into the category of raging asshole hypocrite at times. Don't be a torture to yourself and others by acting constantly like an egonaut or an objectively hopeless Idiot. When you can, try to remember yourself and eat crow as soon as you can do so sincerely. with love, Authentic Idiot sometimes aka Zigzag Idiot Good quotes on the phenomena of hatred- https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/hatred
  14. How many times can a burned out village come back to life? Have your Being and display the mercy that's in the innermost interior of your heart. Be light hearted. As always, a song only half says what needs to be said. Have a good day and be completely present to your immediate experience.
  15. A crucial element in being awake Do you discern the difference between sensing and feeling? Vive la différence,,, When you pray (meditate), do so with your whole body and be completely there.
  16. Enjoying the simple things in life. Return to Ordinary Idiot ever so often,,,
  17. If you in a bad mood make up a silly song One that justs goes along singsong sing along rhymes right or wrong I see you you see me we go pee then we go he he he Te he he ho ho ho and away we go from where we flowed
  18. I got this rather cryptic quote from A Course In Miracles. Below it is a bit of the preface which I cut and pasted. I'll leave the link if anyone wants to read more of it. "There are no triumphs of love. ²Only hate is at all concerned with the “triumph of love.” ³The illusion of love can triumph over the illusion of hate, but always at the price of making both illusions." (ACIM, T-16.IV.5:1-3) ,,,,,,,,,, Sin is defined as “lack of love” (T-1.IV.3:1). Since love is all there is, sin in the sight of the Holy Spirit is a mistake to be corrected, rather than an evil to be punished. Our sense of inadequacy, weakness and incompletion comes from the strong investment in the “scarcity principle” that governs the whole world of illusions. From that point of view, we seek in others what we feel is wanting in ourselves. We “love” another in order to get something ourselves. That, in fact, is what passes for love in the dream world. There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything. (ACIM, Preface.7:1-7),,,,,,,,, ,,,,,, Forgiveness is the means by which we will remember. Through forgiveness the thinking of the world is reversed. The forgiven world becomes the gate of Heaven, because by its mercy we can at last forgive ourselves. Holding no one prisoner to guilt, we become free. Acknowledging Christ in all our brothers, we recognize His Presence in ourselves. Forgetting all our misperceptions, and with nothing from the past to hold us back, we can remember God. Beyond this, learning cannot go. When we are ready, God Himself will take the final step in our return to Him. (ACIM, Preface.14:1-8) from; https://acim.org/acim/preface/what-it-says/en/s/43?wid=toc
  19. What A.H. Almaas refers to as the Diamond Guidance in his Teaching. The sixth chakra and third eye,,,, Excerpts from the Glossary I like,, Spacecrusier Inquiry,, Great book! Feeling the Presence of the Diamond Guidance Usually the Diamond Guidance operates as a presence in the center of the forehead. When it arises in support of discrimination and understanding, we become aware of an expansion as space opens up in the forehead. With that expansion comes a sense of peacefulness; the Black aspect at the center of the forehead opens and we feel stillness and spaciousness. When the Diamond Guidance arises in this peacefulness, we feel a delicate presence, a pulsating energy that possesses a sense of clarity and transparency, an intelligence, an illumination. This delicate, pulsing, breathing presence appears as understanding, as insight, as intuition. As the forehead opens, we feel the Diamond Guidance as a tingling, an energetic throbbing – but very soft, very delicate, very subtle. If we are not attuned, we might dismiss it as just a physical twitch. Or if there is a lot of blockage, as is often the case in the early stages of the development, the diamond might feel hard. Due to the blockage it can’t get through, so it feels almost like a rock. But if we are relaxed and open, we feel it as a softness, a delicacy. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 226 Guidance is the Magnifying Lens of Being The Diamond Guidance is the discriminating intelligence of the optimizing thrust, the guiding intelligence that specifically reveals through the recognition of what is being revealed. There is a dynamic interaction between this Guidance and love, an interaction related to the optimizing force of Being. Love is the energy of the dynamism that displays the truth, while Guidance is the magnifying lens of Being that helps us to recognize what is being displayed. Furthermore, the Guidance is the discriminating intelligence that opens the way for love to display the truth. The two things need to happen together for there to be a revelation … Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 140 The Angel of Revelation In other traditions, the Diamond Guidance is sometimes called the angel of revelation, the holy spirit that brings the word or message from the source. It is the angel that guides us to Beingness that is our ground, our nature, our source. It is the true friend, the total friend, because the Guidance’s only concern is for you as a soul to go back to your source, to be who and what you can be, with total acceptance, total support, total guidance, total kindness. The soul needs to place herself in the right attitude for this kind of blessing to come. You have to do the work of correctly orienting yourself. Basically this means harmonizing your consciousness with the mode of presence and operation of the Guidance. This is what we are exploring when we discuss inquiry – the right orientation, the right posture, the ways of being and functioning that will invite the Guidance. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 223
  20. Piece of crap trac phone I'm using at the moment. Funny Farside cartoon I remember from years ago,,,
  21. D Schizophrenic mystic I feel a bit raw. I feel like a piranha pariah whole hog precog. That's what I feel like at the moment. If I was a Foghorn leghorn Jerry Clower-like mouth of the south King biscuit flower power hour disc jockey. This is what I saw if'n I was an all-seeing slack jawed clairvoyant Clarence transpersonal He-she-it, Playin a record just like this.
  22. Reaching Up "Shedding Guilt" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen Guilt doesn’t come out of the sky and grab you. It is something you put on yourself, like a heavy coat that you really don’t want to wear anymore. Guilt is a belief – a very false belief. It’s a way of telling yourself that you are bad to the core and therefore unable to change. Guilt doesn’t fix any of your problems. In fact, it makes you hang onto them. It ties your hands and binds you and puts you in a state of mind where you can’t change. Remember, with your guilt you have told yourself that your doings make you a bad person and that you can’t erase them and make yourself a good person. You can trade in this poisonous idea. You can exchange guilt for a healthy dose of responsibility. Taking responsibility is entirely different than taking on guilt. When you take personal responsibility, you are looking in the mirror and saying, “OK. These thoughts, these behaviors, these emotions are mine. I make them and it’s up to me to change them.” It’s not blame; it’s not guilt. It is looking honestly at your own choices and your ability to make new and different choices. This is a prescription for learning and growing and healing. Now the heavy coat is off, no longer holding you back. Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist. He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor. He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma.