Zigzag Idiot

My dislike of other people The idea occurred to me today that I need to examine in what way I'm like Elliot Hulse. I've criticized and made fun of him repeatedly over the last year or so. I've learned of this phenomena a few tears ago where whoever we have a strong dislike for is someone who we share a personality trait with that we're not owning,,, in a sense. To me, he seems like a kind of human puffer fish. I've had a bit of that in the past but not too bad. It may be the trait of overcompensating in ways. I've definitely got that. That's probably it or maybe it's just one of the things about him that I also have which causes me to dislike him. In the past, I had a very strong dislike for Dan Quail. After I read his biography, I actually grew to appreciate him in ways. I even had an appreciation for Richard Nixon after I read a couple of his books. I need to read one of Dan Rathers books. I've always had a strong dislike for him. Also that guy called the Rock, whatever his name is. Something about him that I really dislike. I've always thought he was stupid but he's probably smarter than I am. Anyway, these people that I have a strong natural dislike for,,, There's often some personality trait or something that we have in common. Strongly disliking anyone is a waste of energy anyway. I tend to forget that but slowly I'm getting a little better. Getting older in a itself, helps. Everyone tends to mellow somewhat, the older they get I've noticed.

@modmyth I appreciate your articulation of reasoning and also the fun facts musical trivia. Good morning everyone, I'm going to shamelessly repost a couple of Stevie Wonder songs that I've already posted on this thread just because I find them uplifting and enjoyable. Don't some of you ever get hooked on a certain song or album for a period of time.,,,,?

R Two great videos currently being shared. I like how Akilesh aka @winterknight points out how psychotherapy can assist our spiritual growth. In the lower video, this guy accurately expounds on the brilliance of Eckhart Tolle's coining of the term 'painbody'. A synchronicity occurs in my inner world in once hearing Ken Wilber describing that psychological and spiritual growth share one particular line of development. -"The capacity for disinterested awareness."- As an ex-Scientologist, I recall the process of auditing out, of what they called engrams, which are psychological traumas stored scattered around in the tissue of the body. A few years after leaving Scientology, in reading the works of Arnold Keyserling and Ralph Losey, I encountered their description of what they referred to as endogen engrams. The term endogen was never used in Scientology and in a hastily performed google search I only encountered the phrase endogen engram in the works of Keyserling/Losey. All of this ties together synchronisticly in my inner experience. The gist of it would be my suggestion that for anyone engaged in psychological growth and processing as a part of their spiritual growth, the greatest asset they may run across would be an ex-Scientologist who was trained as an 'Auditor' who still has their 'e-meter' device, which is basically a lie detector, and would be willing to audit the the spiritual seeker for a number of sessions. In short, I believe these trained auditors have the capacity to completely out perform the majority of any psychoanalyst that anyone would randomly encounter. It would be foolish of me to suggest this as an absolute because there exists both delusional ex-Scientologists as well as intuitively genius and gifted traditional Psychotherapists. I was never trained as an Auditor in Scientology nor do I own an e-meter but I am aware that many have left the cult of Scientology and have not abandoned this process of doing auditing among other ex-Scientologists. These people are pretty rare though. In an imaginative conjecture, I picture the future of psychotherapy at some point adopting these specific methods born out of Dianetics and Scientology and this will greatly speed up the process of shadow work and awakening of the global population. Concisely stated in an imaginative conjecture that would probably be considered heresy among the conventional-minded would be- Endogen engrams are the building blocks of the painbody and also the motorfuel for unguided Golums.

Eliott Hulse angrily denounces those who are angry and delusionally denounces the delusional. He also emotionally denounces those who are emotional. He states some things accurately but in the most annoying way possible.

I thought this song could also be renamed the anthem of neo-alchemists or actualizers. IF anyone see's the humor and wants to offer an alternative Title, please do.. At least I hope two or three people pee on themselves just a little.

Recollecting movies I've seen, Paint your wagon came to mind. I didn't want to junk up @Dragos thread so I decided to just put it here. It's unique in that it's a musical featuring Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood. In this opening seen Lee Marvin delivers a colorful eulogy burying a stranger killed in a wagon wreck when he says -" Oh God, we pass on to you, the body and soul, of this nameless peckerhead." This movie was made back in the late sixties. Chances are if you hate musicals, you'll like it, but if you love musicals, you probably hate it.

This guys very short videos deliver the lessons in a very efficient manner. I've posted a good number of them on the Gurdjieff thread in High Consciousness Resources.They're a treasure in regard to esoteric knowledge. They're esoteric in sense, not because it's hidden knowledge but because it's something everyone seems to look past, not realizing the significance of what's being said. He messes up slightly in the first one above on negative emotions. The correct expression refers to putting a stick in the spokes of the wheel which turns automatically. Good video anyhow,,, Time for some shut eye. Good night,,,

Just above here, I meant that self deception lies between spiritual sleep and our creative capacity. I had forgotten about this. I love this story.that McKenna tells about Rene Descartes. Modern Science was founded by an Angel!

Imaginal realm = Causal realm = Realm of the atom There are so many seemingly contradictory notions in the Work because of words having in actuality more than one usage. Personality being one that I've recently commented on. Imagination is another,,, On one hand, it's at the heart of spiritual sleep, but on the other hand it's at the heart of our creative capacities. A few contemporary mystics actually use the term Imaginal realm in place of Causal realm. The huge spanning category of self deception lies between the two. Self deception is first cousins with vested interests, it seems. Carol Anthony, in The Oracle of the Cosmic Way refers to this Imaginal or Causal realm as being the realm of the atom.

I've met several Zen Masters. Most of them we're cats. I remember Alan Watts quoting someone who said that but I forget who it was. My cat has been acting extra crazy here recently. Something is definitely going on. I wouldn't rule out there being a possession of some kind,,,, She was showing out in front of company a couple of evenings ago. Like a little kid might do.

In past self observation and Inquiry I noticed that wearing my glasses would put me more into ego/false personality through the action of framing my eyesight/perception and reducing peripheral awareness. In witnessing awareness my attention will be split between peripheral vision and predator/direct vision. In witnessing awareness I have no startle response. There will most always be a startle response, for example, from a loud unexpected noise if I'm not in witnessing awareness.. Impartial Attention Exercises These are associated with assimilating Third Being Food. They can be practiced individually, sequentially or simultaneously. Sightless Gaze - one attends to ones total visual field as one diffuse, panoramic field of light, taking in everything without identifying or labelling the impressions as things or actions, good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. Soundless Sound - one attends to ones total aural field as one omnidirectional field of sound, taking in everything without identifying or labelling the impressions as things or actions, good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. Odourless Odour - one attends to all odours taking in every odour without identifying or labelling the impressions as things or actions, good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. Tasteless Taste - one attends to all taste impressions, taking in everything without identifying or labelling the impressions as things or actions, good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. Touchless Touch - one attends to all the sensations in the body, from the skin to the bone marrow, taking in all sensations without identifying or labelling the impressions as things or actions, good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. from- https://www.endlesssearch.co.uk/exercises_attention.htm

Essence can be distinguished from personality and false personality. False personality is equivalent to ego,

The Thirst For More by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2020 Dr. Jim Rosen Take a look at, for instance, people’s relationship with money. The gratification you get from it is very short-lived. The good feelings come and then quickly leave. So you have to make more money to get more gratification. But the money and the spending never really satisfy. So you have to make more again. Money, and the material things you acquire with it, are just stuff – external things that don’t really fill you up. If used properly, money is a tool. But it isn’t an end in itself; it won’t give you happiness or peace of mind. It’s a similar situation in people who just take pills as a substitute for real therapy. The pills may give short-lived relief from your anxiety, depression, stress, or your high blood pressure. But the pills don’t get to the heart of the matter. They never satisfy the real problems. They don’t give you happiness or peace of mind. So you keep taking them. And I ask you, if you have to keep taking something, is it really a cure?

Oops Trying to post during a thunderstorm made a mess. Here's the full post, hopefully. Two different usages of the word personality Disclaimer and warning. The following may be worded bluntly and possibly make me appear like a know-it-all. I'm not , but from some perspectives, I appear to be.. It's not my intention to force everyone into this box unless the reader finds that, what is stated is also true for them, then I do. So I put a metaphorical door on this box because our Awakened True Self, Real "I" has Will and can do. I see now how it would serve me well to better learn the Myers Briggs typology. The false self is cultivated through our childhood conditioning and education which is then lorded over by the cultural ego. Personality is then equated with ego. Real "I" is also equated wth personality when a person matures, wakes up from out of one's conditioning with its identifications, some of which are imposed on it from the Culture. Integration and individuating can result in the attainment of the Pearl beyond Price. I'm not there yet but I feel like the fog sometimes clears a little and I get to see over the fence, like it's the promised land. Perhaps even experience a higher state for a bit, but hopefully, eventually, reach a higher stage or station. The full Pearl,,, Some report an inner experience of a blue Pearl. Others have reported the experience of a wheel turning, which then stops. Unless I'm mistaken, this was Carl Jung's experience. The outer enneatype personality is false and can be worked with and shaped. The inner Essence type based on one's body type (dominant endocrine gland) is fixed more so and found in the inner part of the Enneagram. I've shared the following explanation/quote in the past which gives the reasoning for the study of endocrine or Essence types. This explains also in a roundabout way, why Enlightened or Realized people like Eckart Tolle, a more reserved type isn't expected to ever put on flashy clothes, jump up on the stage, and starting belting out an old Elvis tune come Karaoke night at his favorite restaurant. What comes natural is different for different Essence types. From this book - "When we are able to recognize types and predict the characteristic reactions, we find that this information is liberating, both as it applies to ourselves and as it helps us to understand others. Once we know that virtually all limitations, weakness and shortcomings are not things for which we can be blamed, most of us feel the lifting of guilt that we have carried for most of our lives. If we are Lunars we cannot be outgoing and emotionally demonstrative, no matter how much others urge us to be and how much we may want to please them. If we are Saturns we cannot stop trying to control others--- always for their own good--- no matter how strenuously they object. If we are Venusians we cannot be aggressively ambitious no matter how much our mothers want us to be and how much we may love our mothers. If we are an emotionally centered mercurial and find it impossible to engage in repetitive tasks day after day, word processing in an isolated cubicle, or putting shingles on roofs, then we should begin to understand how hard it is for a moving centered Martial to experience his own emotions, much less express them effectively. ,,,,," From page 265 This also brings in the type in relation to one's center of gravity based somewhat and expressed in relation to the four Jungian functions - Sensing, thinking, feeling, willing (intuition) Fudging here with willing (intuition),,,,, as it was taught to me. Intellectually centered Emotionally centered Moving centered Instinctively centered I am a moving centered, mars type for an example. So in addition to endocrine type is the inclusion of one's center of gravity,,,, Combining the instinctive and moving centers (hara) results in Gurdjieff's portrayal of humans as 3 brained beings or 3 centered beings,,, It is said in the Work that we must learn to become passive towards our personalities. Or make the personality more passive. Making Essence in us boss. The two usages of personality can make it confusing. When personality is boss, egomaniac is result. Automaton being boss is a form of egomania or slavery. It could be said maybe that the Inner child Essence must become boss with the Witness observing. Be as a child, enter the Kingdom,,,

Timothy Leary famously said- "Find the others" ?

"I'm a music freak"- Hunter Thompson

@Himanshu Ive been slow to express it but I completely dig your Journal!

The Kingdom of Heaven IS you. ,,,,,,,, the Christ Mind IS yours. Going through my notes today I ran across some of the ACIM urtext that I had copied and pasted previously in my journal and had forgotten about. For those that don't know, the urtext is pretty much all of the unedited version of ALL of the communication from Jesus channeled through Helen. I think that's an accurate way to put it,,,, It's cool also that Jesus uses the term ego and also references a statement of Freud's which I remember from before. Jung is also brought up in a spot or two in the urtext. Also a pioneering psychologist, Hankins, that I'm not familiar with. Anyway, the quote speaks for itself.--- Love without Conflict (December 27, 1965) When Helen reads this to you, Bill, try to listen very carefully. You have never understood what "The Kingdom of Heaven is within you" means. The reason you cannot understand it is because it is NOT understandable to the ego, which interprets it as if something outside is inside, which does not mean anything. The word "within" does not belong. The Kingdom of Heaven IS you. What else BUT you did the Creator create, and what else but you IS His Kingdom? This is the whole message of the Atonement, a message which in its totality transcends the sum of its parts which we have covered before. Christmas is not a time; it is a state of mind. The Christ Mind wills from the Soul, not from the Ego, and the Christ Mind IS yours. You, too, have a Kingdom which your Soul has created. It has not ceased to create because your ego has set you on the road of perception. Your Soul's creations are no more fatherless than you are. Your ego and your Soul will never be co-creators, but your Soul and YOUR Creator will ALWAYS be. Be confident that your creations are as safe as you are. The Kingdom is perfectly united and perfectly protected, and the ego will not prevail against it. Amen. That was written in that form because it is a good thing to use as a kind of prayer in moments of temptation. It is a declaration of independence. You will both find it very helpful if you understand it fully. In its characteristic upside-down way, the ego has taken the impulses from the superconscious and perceives them as if they arise in the unconscious. The ego judges what is to be accepted, and the impulses from the superconscious are unacceptable to it, because they clearly point to the non-existence of the ego itself. The ego therefore experiences threat, and not only censors but also reinterprets the data. However, as Freud very correctly pointed out what you do not perceive you still know, and it can retain a very active life BEYOND your awareness. You who identify with your egos cannot believe that God loves you. YOU do not love what you have made, and what you have made does not love you. Being made out of the denial of the Father, the ego has no allegiance to its own Maker. You cannot conceive of the real relationship that exists between God and His Souls, because of the hatred you have for the Self you have made. You project onto your own idea of yourself the will to separate, which conflicts with the love you also feel for what you have made because you made it. No human love is without this ambivalence, and since no ego has experienced love WITHOUT ambivalence, the concept is beyond its understanding. Love will enter immediately into any mind which truly wants it, but it MUST want it truly. This means that it wants it WITHOUT ambivalence, and this kind of wanting is wholly without the ego's "drive to get." There is a kind of experience that is so different from anything the ego can offer that you will never recover. The word is used quite literally here, - you will never be able to hide again. It is necessary to repeat that your belief in darkness and in hiding IS why the light cannot enter. The Bible has many references to the immeasurable gifts which are for you, but for which YOU must ask. This is not the condition as the ego sets conditions. It is the glorious condition of what you ARE. No force except your own will is strong enough or worthy enough to guide you. In this you are as free as God, and must remain so forever.

@Wisebaxter Thanks, brother-friend! ? It's always good to hear from you! I agree! People appreciate encouragement for the most part. Some Journalers that don't want any feedback will usually state so in their Journal. Those who are ambiguous about interactions will sometimes warm up to feedback if the approach is sincere and they don't feel like they're being criticized or talked down to. Maybe,,, 'skillful means' as Ken Wilber says,,, Yes, It really can be,, Good luck with your aims and new efforts,,,,,!

Thanks @LastThursday ? Most of my rebelliousness is more about just rooting for the underdog. ?‍♂️??‍♂️?

INTP - This test. I've just tested once before. Hastily, about a year ago and the result was that I was ISFJ. Typing myself, long ago as an enneatype counterphobic 6 who mistrusts authority, I've always belligerently discounted the MBTI on the assumption that it was conventional and therefore probably bullshit. Reading some this morning I discovered that a lot of conventional Psychologists discount the MBTI,,,, therefore, I think I'm starting to warm up to this typology more! Also Virgo Sun sign- Capricorn rising- Moon in Leo- Mars in Scorpio. Have nothing in the air signs and a Yod that I'm trying to figure out,,, @Himanshu Good idea you had with this post! Thank you for the initiative!

Another song that has the word Conscience in the lyrics.