Zigzag Idiot

@fridjonk You're not afraid. That's another reason why I love you.

I had to look that one up. Necroposting definition: Posting to something on the internet for the first time in quite a few months or years. Usually n00bs do this, but sometimes a pro will do it to make people laugh. Read CWG years ago when it first came out. I could do to read it all again. Appreciate everyone's feedback,,,,

Take your medicine. That means eyes closed and silence when doing 5 meo dmt. Otherwise it's just fun and dissociation. I come from stage Orange ranching and sawmilling so I had enough of that and decided to become a mystic. A retarded clown Mystic. Don't tell me about this stuff if you're not from here. You have no credibility with me. I'll hear you out though. I've been around cattle all my life. I used to trap coons, possums, grey fox and coyotes and club them to death and I used to love rare cooked, bloody steaks. Not anymore or I should say, not as much and definitely not cooked rare and bloody. Makes my gut cramp. Blood has to be cooked out of it. It's still delicious though. What's worse imo is refined sugar intake and for me personally, alcohol. It's an addiction and can manifest negativity and violence, sugar, that is. You have a right NOT to be negative. Maurice Nicoll nailed that one. It feels good. People are blind to their own love of feeding on negative emotions but this stops when they wake up. If they wake up. If not, they'll be the ones who are always on your ass all the time trying to push your buttons or guilt trip you. Don't look them in the eye. That's how they rob you of chi energy as they feed on it and waste it all. Is this a journal or a diary? I treat it like a diary sometimes I guess. That reminds me. Too much dairy creates bloatedness. That's a personal comment in this diary about dairy. I've always been considered weird. My thoughts are nonsequitor. After 40 years, which was 10 years ago, I self diagnosed an Aspergers condition. I like to be lighthearted and laugh. You can laugh at me but I'd rather you laugh with me as we enjoy classic British hard rock like Pink Floyd and Zeppelin. I understand everyone has their own preferences though. Be reminded of my having a permit to use personal pronouns in the 'spiritual community'. I just returned from using my last bit of 5 meo dmt. It doesn't last long around me. Having a supply that is. It inspired me to cut loose with this bit of spiritual mansplaining that will outrage a small percentage most likely.,,,,I have an ego which is in near continual identification with different forms and concepts but also there is an individuality of Essence which at times is capable of expressing from the Causal body which has access to the Causal realm and nowadays in some circles, is referred to as the Imaginal realm. Or the realm of Consciousness or the realm of the atom or the Causal realm. See, it makes a circle,,,,I guess that's it for now. Don't worry, be happy. Why frown, act a clown.???‍??‍♂️Your treasures are found in Being, but moreso as a multidimensional Being instead of conditioned personality.Let your fracturedness heal and integrate and become the basis for your multidimensionalness. Trade in the Superego for an awakened Conscience and get back bonus bucks which will be your own hard earned spiritual coin to spend as you wish. Spiritual materialist find spiritual coin lying in the street and immediately spend it by just talking out of their ass. Nearly everyone goes through that phase though. Overlook this tendency and one day they'll go beyond it. A lot of things are different from what you figured they would be. Some of you have already realized this. Real eyes, realize, real lies.

It's more than just a book. It's an interpretive tool for divination that I consult just about on a daily basis. Modeled after the Original I CHING or Book of Changes which is considered the oldest book on earth. Many call it an updated version of the I-CHING in which the oppressive twist of patriarchical ideas have been removed. From a review: Removing the Ego as the defining agent of reality releases awareness to reinhabit the natural world. --Jose Cedillos, Ph.D. Prof. of Consciousness and Creativity Studies, The Union Institute.

Quite a few years ago in a comedy routine, Dennis Miller was talking about the absurdity of dreams. How one minute you can be falling through space screaming your head off and the next instance, there you are in a parade and you're waving to everyone. Wish I could find a short clip of that on YouTube.

I'm for just taking them off their hinges! ??‍♂️ Woke up feeling great today,,,,,

My eyes feel like sandpaper. I'm very very tired and will be in a deep sleep before too long. The crickets that I hear are very loud right now. They have been louder than usual here lately. I get goofy when I'm sleep deprived. Imagine experiencing a love so all consuming that all the shitty things you've ever done don't even matter and you just begin to disappear. With no fear felt whatsoever.

Jim's weekly mini column The Two Ingredients You Really Need by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2020 Dr. Jim Rosen To get rid of pain and have more happiness, to get rid of your roadblocks and have a more fulfilling life, all you need to bring to the table are 2 things – the want to and the willingness. You don’t have to prepare yourself. You don’t have to know the root of your problems. You don’t have to understand how it works. Just bring your want to and your willingness to a teacher, of which I am one, and you will learn and grow. You will make the changes in the ways you think and feel and in the ways you walk your path. You will not change who you are, and you will not change your true path. Who you are and the plan of your life are already well established. It is really very little that you need bring to the table, but that very little is essential on your part.

Just released last month. Ordered me a copy today. Editorial Reviews Review “If ever there was a teacher who could gather the reins of the mind to gallop into the land of the heart (and take us with her), it is Cynthia Bourgeault. This exquisitely written love story distills the intricacies of the esoteric Western traditions into a transformational elixir—both rigorous and luminous—simultaneously intoxicating and sobering. This book is nothing less than a map to the meeting of the worlds at the crossroads of our own souls, one the mapmaker urges us to abandon the minute our heart sees the way.”—Mirabai Starr, author of Wild Mercy “In Eye of the Heart Cynthia Bourgeault invites us on a journey that is profoundly personal and opens us to a truly fresh and panoramic vision of the purpose of human existence. In bringing to our attention the importance of the imaginal realms—the levels of consciousness between our physical reality and our ultimate divine source—she fills an enormous gap in the current conversations on spirituality. Cynthia has an amazing ability to take potentially complex ideas and to explain them with clarity and kindness. Only someone who has actually traversed these realms and knows them well could accomplish such a feat, and she does so with beauty and grace. Any serious student of the Western traditions ought to partake of these teachings. You will be grateful you did!”—Russ Hudson, co-author of The Wisdom of the Enneagram “A brilliant synthesis that both situates the imaginal world and gives it more meaning than it has previously had. . . . [Bourgeault] is a true representative of the Western spiritual tradition.”—from the afterword by A. H. Almaas “Eye of the Heart is an immensely original piece of thinking, feeling, writing. There is nothing like it. It opens new terrain, plants new seeds, starts them on their way toward the light.”—Roger Lipsey, author of Gurdjieff Reconsidered “By weaving together mystical wisdom, the Fourth Way, and the authority of her own experience, Cynthia Bourgeault masterfully charts a new path of interior transformation through the heart's ability to know and choose the way of love and service. I learned a lot from this book, and I bet you will too.”—Carl McColman, author of The Big Book of Christian Mysticism “Reading Eye of the Heart is a powerful and clarifying experience. The weaving of personal, metaphysical, and contemporary political insights is amazing, seamless, and intercessory in and of itself. We need this kind of weaving and interpenetrating in our culture just as we need it between the realms.”—Tim Shriver, author of Fully Alive The following is from:

I second the motion @Karla for us to hear Leo speak some Russian. ?‍♂️ Another question from me also. A few months ago, an action you took seemed somewhat contrived to me. I think it would be rude and seemingly adversarial for me to mention specifically the occasion I was referring to. Not to mention, it could easily have been a projection on my part. But I'll ask this. Have you ever 'played a role' in a sense to make giving a Teaching easier?

Lots of sunglasses on the last ☝️

Mostly picturesl I sometimes judge a book by its cover. This is one of my favorite book covers. I think the character mid way on the steps is supposed to be Jesus and he's walking out of a UFO. This is a fairly good book but it's pretty wild. Drunvalo Malkezedek material most often leaves me feeling ungrounded because I get pulled into his wild theories. His talks about the flower of life is intriguing. He points out flower of life images burned with great precision Into big granite pieces in ancient ruins in Syria. No one can figure out how it was done. The Title is pretty good too. Another book title I'm fond of is this one by Itzhak Bentov. The title Stalking The Wild Pendulum reminds me of self Inquiry and observing my emotional swings which is kind of what the book is about. Bringing balance to the autonomic nervous system with the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. He gets around to mentioning Kundalini energy at the end of the book. Below is a graph from his book. Jana Dixon references him some in her Biology of Kundalini. http://biologyofkundalini.com/ I started a thread about this book in High Consciousness Resources when Leo first unfolded it. Nobody seemed interested though. It's a shame because it's a great book. I had YouTube playing all last night and dreamed about Spiral Dynamics. This one was playing when I woke up. I really appreciated this chart that Leo put up in the first few minutes. I enjoy looking at charts like this. Getting some understanding that we experience both states and stages was a helpful idea for me. That we experience states of Consciousness through whatever stage we're at explains a lot. Also that there are different lines of development that we have,,,,,, The idea that the Dream World intersects with the Astral realm seems to becoming more real for me. This is speculated on in a number of cosmological theorys. And also that the lower astral realms could be hell realms,,,, I don't have any memories of a past life but I get a strange feeling that a fairly recent past life could have been in Great Britain and that I was an alcoholic in maybe more than one past life. It's not something I dwell on very much, though. Dreams can have such a variation in their vividness and other qualities and can have such a strong effect at times on one after waking up. It just feels like there's a lot of possibilities here.

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A good percentage of us here, if not right now, will be at some point in the future, just somebody's crazy uncle. Life speeds up the older you get and goes by in a hurry.

That's how I usually check "I am enlightened AMA" threads, purely based on compassion. Doesn't mean you agree with everyone, it means you are You. Both this expression and the question it was aimed at remind me of - Conscience. My own experience of what Conscience is and how this experience has changed as I have gotten older. To say an increase in conscience means also an increase in Being feels accurate to me. It also feels like the more shadow is removed from my consciousness/subconsciousness, the clearer I can hear the small, still voice, as the saying goes. But primarily Conscience reaches me through feeling. The more shadow work done, the cleaner the emotional center is, which results in increased accurate intuition. Clairvoyance is experienced in the beginning only as brief flashes. At most, the beginning is all I've reached and a shaky one at best. So I'm not implying any kind of great one time sweeping realization or attaining superpowers. ? To get rid of guilt is primary. Implanting in humanity the notion of inherent guilt is/was a horrible joke/spell/curse/whatever. I'm not implying psychopathy as a way of life but rather than guilt- remorse- is the correct feeling when I/we have caused harm or violated Conscience. You have awakened Conscience when you are you and not the reaction from the stern inner voice of the Superego telling us how naughty we've been. The Superego by its nature keeps guilt within the framework of our experience. This highlights the need for individuation which requires integration of our inner aspects which are contradictory or seemingly so. Morality changes from culture to culture and also over time through history. Awakened Conscience has universal unchanging empathy and compassion and is not as changeable as morals yet has a definite tone of responsibility. People who speak completely different languages can understand each other with the 'language of the smile'. I try to express from my being rather than my personality but ironically my inspired expressions can have the tone arrogance or of telling everyone what's what. So I add this little disclaimer of having unaware unconscious, blatant arrogance and hope rather that the reader hears me with their being rather than their mind as well as overlooking my run on sentences and inevitable typos.

We need to develop a healthy, functioning ego before we can transcend it. So there are two different usages for 'self love' . One is honest and innocent in a sense and the other is narcissistic and self important, full of vanity and pride. We need the self importance of a healthy self esteem and only then go about purifying the self importance out of it until we experience the nothingness of the false personality in us that is full of mechanical associations and reactivity. This usually marks the beginning of the experience of being or as Jesus said " having our being". I'm speaking from personal experience here also. I went into some of these harsher exercises while still being a somewhat unstable character years ago. Sometimes I'm still uncertain about the gains I've made. I can say without a doubt that I'm not as negative or violent as I used to be which definitely has resulted in an actual felt sense of being more stable compared with the past. For those who may have been following along. I felt the need to express this to save my last few entries from appearing too harsh or self contradictory. Nicoll refers to self love with a negative connotation,,,, Its tough when life is experienced as an ongoing depression or an emotional roller coaster. Sometimes the harsher methods in small doses can do some good. If you can genuinely pull off making fun of your own self pity while in that condition, it's amazing the state changes one can rapidly go through. But in dealing with others who are in a fragile condition, heart felt empathy should be the rule but definitely not pity. That's another thing I appreciated about Castenada's languaging. Divine Love he refers to as "the place of no pity". And usually a state of anger lies between depression and vibrancy. So if you witness a family member getting rather harsh with another, don't be too quick to condemn them. Their intuitive actions may have a genius quality in pushing the right keys in order to get another family member out of a funk. It seems to be an awful fine line though,,,, I don't know how true it is but I once heard a story about the Cosmic trickster Carlos Castenada. One of his girlfriends called him out concerning his own self importance and by some quirky rule within his group, she had authority to give him a particular practice. It turned out that he worked incognito, as a dishwasher, in some greasy spoon cafe, somewhere in the U.S. southwest for three solid years in order to help him overcome his own self importance.

Leo's last video on introspection is great! As Gurdjieff used to say, He was busy stepping on people's korn's. Notice when you're lying to yourself. Notice when you're flippant. Notice when you're arrogant. Notice when you're playing a victim. Notice when you're fanticising. Notice when you're in a bad mood. Notice when you're manipulating others. Notice you're social conditioning. Notice posturing and being phony and fake. Notice when you aren't understanding other people. Notice and catch you're mind creating problems. Notice when you're being selfish. Much of what Leo said mirrors the Teaching of the Fourth Way which centers around noticing you're spiritual sleep. Two main practices in the Fourth Way are self observation and self Remembering. Maurice Nicoll on the Fourth Way- INTENTIONAL SUFFERING “Now self-observation is very harsh and becomes more harsh. If done sincerely it will hurt. But it lets light in and stops all sorts of rank weeds from growing within, and amongst them all the strange growths due to internal considering and self-pity and song-singing. And then at last we begin to see what it means that a man must realize that he is nothing beforehecanexpecttobesomething.”V.1,p.259 INTENTIONAL SUFFERING II “You may often say you are to blame for something, but if someone agrees with you, it is startling and you feel offended. Yes, we easily pretend we are wrong. But to see it, direct and unmistakeable, in one- self, is pain. This is real, and so useful, suffering, for all real suffering purifies the emotions.” V. 1, p. 166 INTENTIONAL SUFFERING III “I have found nothing flattering in this teaching. There is nothing flattering, for axample, in being told that we are machines that have no Real ‘I’, that we are nothing but pictures of ourselves, that what we call ‘I’ is nothing but imagination, that we have no Real Will, that we are a mass of contradictions which we do not notice owing to hav- ing so many buffers and different forms of padding, that we are not conscious yet, and so on...All awakening has a sour taste—like going back to school.” V. 3, p. 825 INTENTIONAL SUFFERING IV “A man must suffer from his observation of himself, but never become negative.” V. 3, p. 1203 SELF-SATISFACTION “Try to see what you are resting on, all of you. Try to see the basis of your self-satisfaction. You will understand that unless this basis is com- pletely broken up there can be no change of being.” V. 1, p. 338 SELF-SATISFACTION II “As regards the remark that this Work is selfish, you must all under- stand that this Work . . . is something that destroys your self-compla- cency, your selfishness, your self-esteem, your fantasies about yourself, your pictures of yourself and, in short, your False Personality. It makes you see yourself naked—makes you see that you have to do some- thing about yourself before you try to help other people.” V. 3, p. 849 SUFFERING ONE’S SELF “When I am in that state of insight I will continually suffer from myself—from Nicoll and his mechanical reactions. Then I will in a certain sense have to endure this external, mechanical, reacting person that hitherto I have taken as myself but which the Work has gradu- ally shown me I must separate from.” V. 2, p. 644 SEEING DIFFERENT ‘I’S “Perhaps, owing to a grain of modesty or a sense of humiliation or, better still, owing to increasing consciousness of yourself, you may realize that you are not one—not a fully conscious individual, willing his life consciously at every moment, but at one moment a mean per- son, at the next an irritable person, at the next a benevolent person and the next a scandalous or slanderous person, at the next a saint, at the next a liar.” V. 1, p. 26 WHO IS RUNNING THE SHOW? “Have you seen a view of yourself marching along as a crowd of ‘I’s, some good, some evil, some in tatters, some over-dressed, some well-meaning, some slanderous, some brave, some self-pitying, some intelligent, some stupid, some a little developed, some undeveloped and childish, and so on? This marching column, marching anyhow, now some leading, now others, this haphazard crew, is leading one’s life for one.” V. 3, p. 975 PRIDE AND VANITY “You must study Pride and Vanity in yourselves and all their different gradations. Do you know your own forms of Vanity and how much they occupy you? Do you know where your Pride lies? Where do you feel that you love yourself, that you admire yourself? Where do you most feel that you are utterly different from other people? Where are you most conceited? What do you boast about? What are you silent about? Vanity is frequently very talkative, whereas Pride is silent. Which is the deeper wound, wounded Vanity or wounded Pride? What is it you cannot forgive? You know that if you cannot forgive it is because of some form of self-love which, ideally speaking, has to be smashed out of you.” V. 1, p. 360 REAL POSITIVE EMOTIONS “If you, all alone, in this solitary place, in yourself, full of the integrity of your most Real I, have decided, made a decision, not to identify or feed a particular negative emotion . . . you will taste positive emotion for a brief moment—something blessed—that is, filled with such bliss that nothing of human love-hate emotions can be compared with it... Such emotions . . . never change into their opposites but visit us and then withdraw.” V. 4, pp. 1238-9 All of these taken from Gems of Wisdom. Similar and more can be found here-

@DrewNows love and appreciate ya, brother man,,,

Between the both of us. Your zoo and my ship of fools, were a veritable Noah's Ark! I or maybe I should say all of us, appreciate your intelligence and sincerity, and respect you a great deal, or maybe we should say all of y'all,,,,??‍♂️??‍? Glad to see you posting,,,

Cultivating discipline and reducing self-importance I feel at times bullying oneself with carrying out dull practices can actually rob one of energy which can lead to apathy and then just giving up in working on oneself. Neo-Shamanism introduced me to the practices of 'Not doing.' I view these practices as a hole card in case you hit some serious doldrums in your Spiritual practice. Victor Sanchez, a student of Carlos Castaneda, put out a book called The Teachings of Don Carlos. He mentions that self importance is one of the most energy consuming activities in the life of someone working on themselves. One exercise that is rather extreme, is making use of a petty tyrant. So if you encounter one - how lucky you are! Classifications of Petty tyrants: Excuse the stains. I tend to treat my books rough. A little bit on the strategy that he gives in dealing with a petty tyrant- Victor Sanchez also gives some practices called -Acting for the sake of Acting, that falls under the category of overcoming self importance. My favorite is taking your dishes for a ride once a week. These practices are not for everyone. They are for those whose persona matches the qualities for being a 'Stalker'. A warrior who stalks their own weaknesses. The other practices in Neo- Shamanism are for 'Dreamers'. For these, one has to have the capacity for lucid dreaming. I remember from Castaneda's book- The Art of Dreaming, that he recommends looking for your hands in any dream as a trigger to induce lucidity in your dreamworld.