Zigzag Idiot

I like watching these girls dance. Cheers me up while I’m doing carpentry.

Forgiveness is the overlooked unpopular message Bearing the unpleasant manifestations of others precedes the necessity for Forgiveness It is an act of Mercy Don't impose your Will on others Mercy is the highest Law Honestly observing Your own inability to exhibit Mercy time after time increases your degree of Being. It cooks you from inside out.

Chaos Theory - Point attractor Cycle attractor Torus attractor Strange attractor Let it speak to you through your disciplined eventual nothingness your own path and humiliations, experience, and stuff,,,,,,

My I-CHING reading from yesterday. Apropos of nothing. Some refer to the armadillo as a “sport model possum “.

Wonderful interview with Ocke de boer. Discusses the etheric body and what constitutes coating and cleansing of our higher centers,,,,,,

I'm rereading my journal. Reposting this favorite quote from Maurice Nicoll,,,,,

Political correctness is bullshit. I’ve seen the backlash that it helped create. But there is definitely a need to be REAL and also be considerate of others. I’ve put my foot in my mouth so many times that I appear as a complete hypocrite and truth be known, I am. But I’m not a hater. Wait a minute. I can’t say that either,,,, because I allow myself to fully feel my hatred at times. So that qualifies me as being a liar on top of everything else. We all have natural prejudices but can we honestly admit them and be open minded about their existence. Now that I’ve dismantled my credibility once again. Regarding skillful means, Ken Wilber said “meet people where you find them.” That not always an easy thing to do.

Tolle makes a statement here that is a good opener for a conversation. Becoming aware of one’s own internal dialogue. Then being disturbed by being unable to be free of it. That’s my experience of it anyhow. There’s a variation to it over the years. Becoming comfortable or at home with it has definitely been a part of the process. The ability to become free of it at will is a major threshold. Non-conceptual awareness or objectless awareness is a state of consciousness that comes about when the internal dialogue disappears and you are ‘present’ with 3 centered awareness. Relatively, peace and understanding arrive with witness consciousness. This state of consciousness is precarious. More so, the more one is subjected to the crazy world we live in. Internal dialogue can suddenly flood in onto the mind with its variety of possible effects. Self remembering then becomes an individual responsibility for sanity,,,,,

Tolle makes a statement here that is a good opener for a conversation. Becoming aware of one’s own internal dialogue. Then being disturbed by being unable to be free of it. That’s my experience of it anyhow. There’s a variation to it over the years. Becoming comfortable or at home with it has definitely been a part of the process. The ability to become free of it at will is a major threshold. Non-conceptual awareness or objectless awareness is a state of consciousness that comes about when the internal dialogue disappears and you are ‘present’ with 3 centered awareness. Relatively, peace and understanding arrive with witness consciousness. This state of consciousness is precarious. More so, the more one is subjected to the crazy world we live in. Internal dialogue can suddenly flood in onto the mind with its variety of possible effects. Self remembering then becomes an individual responsibility for sanity,,,,,

Carlos Castaneda The place of no pity = sham compassion

I like the last example. Minus the mixture of using mythic interpretations of religions to manipulate the populations of other countries. An advanced country with a SD stage green or higher mean average would/could use the technology in conjunction with other nanotechnologies in advancing the furtherance of other populations that exhibit tendencies toward violence.

D Potpourri

I appreciate both of your responses.

Obviously no one has offered an opinion. That’s fine. I perhaps understand. Often times I find myself somewhat peeved at responses from others that seem to rather have a condescending tone. It’s simply not skillful means. I would like to stay away from that kind of one-ups-man-ship or holier-than -thou dialogue. I really do welcome blunt feedback on my communication skills,,,, My I Ching reading for today was rather foreboding, yet there is most always hope and light to seen in the overall messages.

4 out of 40 To be brutally honest. I experience a certain amount of pride in not testing high in Narcissistic qualities. This implies an inherent contradiction. To be more blunt, I believe this test be rather shallow and rather high on the scale of bullshito. It's not my intention to be overtly antagonistic though,,,,,?‍♂️✌ The Last Element Which Supports Narcissism This clarifies the observation that one of the main sources of narcissism is the self-reflective capacity of the normal self. More precisely, one of the main characteristics of narcissism is self-consciousness, an outcome of the normal self’s capacity for self-reflection. It is only at the level of the Absolute that this characteristic disappears. It does not disappear at the earlier stages of self-realization, not even at the level of nonconceptual reality because there is always consciousness when we reflect. The ego-self hangs on to this consciousness, even nonconceptual consciousness, by self-reflection. In the experience of nonconceptual reality, we perceive pure consciousness when looking backward or inward. In the experience of the Absolute, consciousness disappears when we attempt to reflect. The experience then is not self-consciousness but cessation of all consciousness. We could say that in the self-realization of the absolute truth, our front is the perception of phenomena, which is the same as the phenomena, and our back is total cessation. The quality of this depth of Being, whose nature is total cessation, dissolves self-consciousness. This eliminates the last element which supports narcissism. The Point of Existence, pg. 426 The Root of Narcissism In the experience of self-realization, the self recognizes its identity as presence. When a person is identified with something other than the primordial presence, self-realization is absent. He is not then being himself; he is not simply being. He is not one with his essence. The most fundamental and deepest aspect of the soul is absent in his experience of himself. This is the root of narcissism. In narcissism, the experience of the self is disconnected from its core, from the depths of what it is. It is estranged from its true nature, exiled from its primordial home. The soul’s estrangement from its true nature is the basis of narcissism. Here, we are using the term narcissism in the colloquial sense, similar to what is referred to as narcissistic disturbance in psychoanalytic terminology. The Point of Existence, pg. 26 The Self of the Average Individual is Deeply and Fundamentally Narcissistic Narcissism is a very general, basic element of ego life. The self of the average individual is deeply and fundamentally narcissistic. The complete resolution of narcissism will elude us until the achievement of self-realization. All that conventional psychotherapy can do is alleviate symptoms resulting from severe disturbances of narcissism, and, when successful, can help the individual to reach the level of the narcissism of everyday life. To proceed further and address this fundamental narcissism, only spiritual development will make a real difference. We also believe that understanding the spiritual nature of the self can help us to understand even the severe forms of narcissistic disturbance. This perspective can help us to see that we cannot separate our psychology from our spirituality, our psyche from our spirit, for we are fundamentally whole. Our self is one self, and cannot be dichotomized into a spiritual or “higher” self and a psychical or psychophysical self. The Point of Existence, pg. 46

i sound like an asshole and a Zen Devil sometimes,,, I think. A strange combination of arrogance and humbleness so often found with people in this forum who take it upon themselves to give advice or encouragement of some kind Does my reply have that flavor? I ask for vote on this matter from anyone reading along. Especially moderators. I ask for brutal honesty Vote 1) It has the smell of Zen Devil 2) It was an appropriate response 3) I'm annoying dealing with Asperger's/ insecurity psychological blindspot 4) I'm a genius and everyone loves me for the most part . Use your own language and tell it like you see it if so compelled.

What You've written reminded me of some AH Almaas material. In his work he studied developmental psychology and Object relations theory quite extensively. I just choose one of the excerpts from the following webpage. https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/negative-merging Thank you for responding . My hope is for you to gain some catharsis from this material. Or put another way, understanding through Love and healing . Or Love and healing through understanding. Genetic Source of Negative Merging It is important to consider here the genetic source of negative merging. Object relations theory would consider the source to be primarily the frustration and inadequate gratification in the interaction between infant and mother. This is clearly true, but we see another important, but rarely recognized, source: the infant is actually in a real merged relationship with its mother, not only a delusional one. In other words, the consciousness of the infant not only does not differentiate where a certain feeling is coming from, but is also in a complete state of empathy. The infant feels everything in the environment, especially in his mother. This is what it means to be in a merged state; it is a merged consciousness, not only a perception of common boundaries. Thus the mother’s state has a direct effect on the infant. Mothers know this phenomenon very well. Psychotherapists know this both from their empathic capacities and from the reports of their severely disturbed patients who cannot tell their feelings from those of others. During the symbiotic phase the infant is in complete contact with the mother’s consciousness. He feels her joy, her fear, her anger, her pain, her frustration, her weakness and so on. But he is not aware that these are the mother’s feelings, for he has no sense of a separate self. So what he feels and what mother experiences make up the content of his merged relationship with her. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 246

it snowed some yesterday and I was a bit confused. The reflection from the sun on the snow was too much for my light sensitive eyes. Wearing that hat made me feel somewhat egoic. My eyes and face are puffy because I eat too much sugar and junk food. Besides having other habits of ingestion which are frowned upon by most conventional folks. It provides uncommon perspectives. I claim neither the right hand path nor the left hand path. I’m simply on a path of my own choosing and would rather not define it beyond the examination of my shadow, the cultural shadow and what constitutes observing partial dimensions of the mystical realm through various sensitive schizophrenic perspectives.

D Sometimes having a good cry can be like awakening from sleep. Yet different in that "I" cannot name it other than an indescribable understanding similar to Self-remembering. How can I gain a fullness from becoming emptied? Inner quiet returns. Anguish is now gone. Trust is present. For now anyway. My irreverence is now seen on the horizon,, It cares; yet It cares not "I" does not become "it" "it does not become "I" There's an existence of both and neither It is the place of no pity equal to a certain Understanding of openness of Being

I Love/love/Love Women A few days ago Gesundheit posted a YouTube lecture given by Emerald. I just watched it . In the words of Chief Lodge-skins- "She makes my heart soar like a hawk". I love her. I Love her. I Love her wisdom. I Love her the way a stalker loves. By the way. We are all stalkers or Trolls. However you want express what the essence of infatuation is all about. Completely throwing oneself away like a fool and totally worshiping a person in one's own imaginal inner world. As a very unexpressive deadpan introvert, which I am, and a complete letdown to all women who expect me to be this expressive externally. Well,, this is my confession. I love others from a distance. I Love/love Loba and then I hate her and then I love/Love her again the next day. I Love/love Myioko. The gentle sweetness of her expressions and femininity. I also have Loves locally and the reliability of a fair weather friend to be honest. I may sound like a tortured soul but I feel peace and contentment. Years ago I was a perpetually tortured Nay-bob frequently in the throws of self pity. Moody and just a torture to others. Not so much these days. I am selfish but a lover of solitude and nature. Today I spent the whole afternoon gorging on chocolate ice cream and napping intermittently having pleasant vivid dreams. My apologies to anyone I've offended or embarrassed. I am harmless.

I was thinking of posting in the other threads here on the concepts of using A.I. to learn or become human-like. We’re on the verge of having technology that uses holographic imaging technology capable of recording audio/video independently and transmitting information through to particular individuals in which the human hologram has been duplicated after. To put it succinctly, a person would have numerous holographic duplicates which would upload our individual experiences, interactions and relationships at a distance and then upon returning download the experiences. Holographic images morphing into holograms then basically becoming equal to an Astral body. Or if not accomplishing the task of helping individuals exercise their metaphysical capacities to the point of having independent Astral-Subtle-Causal bodies. Developing eventually into helping us to bridge the gap between physical and metaphysical occurrence of death of the body. This would occur by way of us all giving birth to a litter of holographic copycats lol,,,,, who return to base to help us grow or simply improve the quality of our existence. No more shitty vacations at distant tourist hotspots ? lol. Many here will see the overall basic concepts which are subject to morphing one way or another to accomplish the task we all wish for. Dare I say immortality,,, or at least a much richer quality of existence. Another inclusion here to accomplishing all of these tasks would be supercomputers using AI in the merging of holograms and humans. This would be a technological capacity which could also be used in the most terrifying ways. Having the checks and balances insuring the highest of ethical standards would have to first and foremost. I welcome comments and video’s which might contribute to these ideas.