Zigzag Idiot

I think of Cynthia Bourgeault as the Alan Watts of our time. She was one of the first women to become an Episcopal Priest in the 1970’s. She’s been a long time student of the Gurdjieff Work and her many of her online courses are flavored from that perspective. Her books are very helpful for those who were brought up in Fundamentalist Christianity and are in need of making peace with their roots. Especially The Wisdom Jesus and The Heart of Centering Prayer. Even those who are not Christian would enjoy them IMO. Her latest book , Eye of the Heart is pretty mind blowing. She’s already pointing to the third tier of Spiral Dynamics.

I don’t know.

Superego - the internal critic is often the internalized voice of the father or mother. Disengaging from the Superego It is relatively easy to see that much of our opaqueness, much of our lack of openness, much of our stuckness, is due to the attacks of the superego—ours and other people’s. These are the criticisms, the put-downs, the comparisons, the judgments, the devaluations, the blaming, the shaming, the rejection, and the hatred that the superego levels at you in all kinds of situations. Here the Red latifa can specifically be used in the service of inquiry, by giving us the strength to defend against the superego. Initially, we need to defend ourselves against these attacks by directly confronting them. This can happen through challenging the superego’s authority—by telling it to back off. Such an internal confrontation requires great strength and intelligence. Later, when the Red Essence is more readily available, it becomes possible to disengage from self-judgment simply by clearly discriminating it for what it is and not going along with it. Disengaging from the superego is, in essence, a separation from your parents—the parents you long ago internalized and have lived with in your mind ever since. This disengagement allows you to see more clearly what is there in your experience, because if you’re entangled with these attacks, you won’t even know what you’re experiencing or what has caused the attack in the first place. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 279 More excerpts about superego here- https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/superego A book that was a help for me Soul without Shame by Byron Brown

There’s some good talent here among us.

A couple of things I’ve found useful for being more mindful: Sensing the feet or hara. Sensing the physicality that is. Helps keep me out of my head. The feet are good because so many nerve endings plus the pressure while standing or walking makes them easier to sense. Keeping a good bit of attention on my peripheral vision. Which means split attention. It quietens the mind,,,, When done successfully I won’t have a startle response to about anything.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rupert_Sheldrake

Bozo the clown As a kid I never cared for Bozo the clown. Thought he was only for kids much younger than me or the simple minded. That changed as a teenager. I’m referring to the show where a bunch of kids would go into a tv studio and sit on some benches that looked like small bleachers. In between showing of cartoons Bozo would talk to the kids and ask them questions. Perhaps I had never paid enough attention but I began to have a real appreciation for Bozo’s wit. He would ask kids questions that would lock them up like a Zen koan. Questions like, “Do you like chocolate cake or is it just a pretty good day today?” Or “What’s your favorite sea creature or would you rather look out of a telescope?” Or maybe- “Do you appreciate all the great things your Mother does for you or just the really good things?” You could watch the kids hung up in bewilderment and it was hilarious. I did a google search hoping to find some more of the kind of questions he would ask but had no luck.

I noticed the Tami Simon interview with Ken Wilber, Kosmic Consciousness on the shelf behind Hameed on this video. This is a great set to have and listen to repeatedly. I had to anyway. This was about 2004. I was totally lost about 10 minutes into most of the cd’s. Slowly, over time I lost count on the number of times I replayed them . After 2 or 3 years I could finish many of Ken’s or Tami’s sentences as the interview played. On the inside of the folder is a handy index on the subjects talked about on each cd. It’s where I learned most of my knowledge on Spiral Dynamics . I was enjoying Leo’s latest video earlier today. As he talked about Spiral Dynamics, I realized I’ve had a shadow in SD blue. Actually, Leo’s talk helped me to realize more of what it is to have a shadow at one of the levels. I’m watching/listening to this video again this evening. Trying to finish it. Leo talks about leaded gasoline that was outlawed in the late seventies. I use to burn this stuff in my little motor bikes. A Honda 90 and then later a Yamaha 120. The cow trails were my one lane roads as they wove all over the ranch.

One Thing You'll Never Be Tortured By by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2021 Dr. Jim Rosen “The best thing for being sad is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honor trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then – to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the thing for you.” (Merlyn, the magician, speaking to young Arthur in “The Once and Future King” by T. H. White.) Perhaps there is something that you need to learn that you have been resisting instead of allowing. Accepting it, allowing it, letting it in will help calm your distress.

Another good one from Ram Dass and it’s under 40 minutes. He speaks about special relationships in the same way that ACIM does.plus much more.

This lecture is SO rich! His way of expressing complex issues and the commonly held upside-down-ness of the of the cultural consensus trance and its undoing, otherwise known as awakening, makes it more of a possibility. For the first time, or as a repeat lesson as in Self Remembering in the Gurdjieffian usage. My inspiration for expressing has outrun my capacity for doing so. I’ll have to come back and try later. ?

@LastThursday , I agree with yours and @modmyth’s sentiments regarding etiquette among the Journal writers. Perhaps some of the ideas you mentioned can be implemented at some point. You set a good example expressing what you did. Try as I may, I usually end up committing some faux pas fairly regular. In general though, it seems that behaviors here in this section of the forum are a little more civil than in some of the more high traffic areas, for the most part. How nice it would be if most everyone carried the attitude of being a placeholder for all others in times when they forget themselves,,,, Regarding the no way way, I’m reminded of something I heard the philosopher Arnold Keyserling say. He said “ The best assurance you can have that your on the way is to not know if you are. The minute one is sure and believes that they are one the way, they are not on the way whatsoever.” ???‍♂️

This is a good way to ease into it. Brad Warner paraphrased the Shobogenzo in his book - Don’t be a Jerk

I enjoy reading excerpts at random in the Ridhwan Glossary - Enjoying Inquiry The aim of inquiry, however, is not to arrive at conclusions but to enjoy the exploration and the thrill of discovery. This discovery is the unfoldment of the soul, and expresses the soul’s love of truth and reality, which itself is the expression of Being’s love of revealing itself. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 19 Being Authentically and Fully Ourselves We have seen that in order for us to be authentically and fully ourselves, our identity must include the ontological depth of the soul, essential presence, and that to be presence means simply to be. When we are simply being, our experience of ourselves is direct, immediate, spontaneous, and natural, free from the influence of the thick veil of accumulated memories, ideas, ideals and images. We have also seen that conventional experience does not allow the experience of self-realization because conventional experience is virtually determined by this thick veil of personal history. We have noted that ordinarily the self cannot experience itself separately from the self-representation, and that, in fact, it experiences itself from within, and through, that representation … it now becomes clear that the veil of personal history is the self-representation. Regardless of how realistic the self representation is, it cannot contain the true reality of the self. The Point of Existence, pg. 63 Ego Structures are Always Alienated from True Being However, looked at from the dimension of Being, regardless of how mature and integrated ego is, it is always a precocious development. We have seen that the ego becomes the system that structures, and includes in its structures the ego functions. It becomes, in other words, the functional part of oneself. We have also seen that ego development is an incomplete process, short of the realization of the Personal Essence. Ego structures are always alienated from the true Being, so the functional part of oneself is separate from who one is. Thus from the perspective of Being, ego development is a development of functioning that is separate from who one is. When there is appropriate emotional development, the individual is better off than the narcissistic character we have just described. However, it is intrinsically the same kind of situation, for in both cases—normal and pathological ego development—there is dissociation from one’s Being. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 351

This fits A poem by Red Hawk Honesty If you want to see what real honesty is look no further than the dog. The dog doesn't give a damn for looking good but will hunch the leg of the Queen's mother If it feels like it. The dog doesn't care what the hell you think, it will lick its balls in the presence of the Pope If that is what it has a mind to do. The dog does not stand on position, power, wealth or fame of any kind. He will bite the rump of the Emperor if he tries to pick up the dog's food; the dog will lift its leg on the whitewall tire Of the Prime Minister's limousine or shit on the Dalai Lama's Prayer rug because he is a dog and that is what dogs do and in some secret uncorrupted part of the self we admire this honesty in dogs, because we see it is absent in ourselves and we know that such honesty comes with a terrible price in this world.

Consulting the I CHING this morning I got hexagram 62 - Preponderance of the Small with line 4 changing creating a second hexagram 39 - Meeting Obstructions Commentary from line 4-

Touché @ilja Should have added I do appreciate the left brain, right brain perspective.

Actually, I think @Scholar said that,,, I’m not in complete agreement with that one. My assessment from one perspective is that he embodies the pancreas dominant Lunar essence type which natural energies are passive and negative. Essence type is deeper than personality traits.

I’ve made note in the past how pain often comes in waves. Easily observable with an abscess tooth but I’ve experienced it as well when grieving the death of someone close and dear to me.

It’s good to see others posting music on here

Cause and Effect by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2021 Dr. Jim Rosen Your thoughts and actions lead to outcome A. The problem is that you want outcome B. OK, not a problem. Just change your thoughts and actions to the ones that lead to outcome B. Oh, but there is a problem. You don’t want to change your thoughts and actions. You want to keep on believing what you believe and behaving the way you behave. So you are stuck with outcome A. Now that appears to be a problem. You are up against the law of cause and effect. You didn’t design God’s Universe and you didn’t create the law of cause and effect, but there it is staring you right in the face. If you say and do and think the things that cause A, then A is what you get – every time. But if you will embrace the needed changes instead of fighting them and resisting them and refusing them, you can point yourself toward B and cause it to happen. The problem is not a problem – if you will let go and accept the law of cause and effect.

You’re right in that I wasn’t articulating very well in what was going through my mind. Of course not all Dairymen are alike. There is a wide variety. My reasoning about the natural saint comment was my view that having a Dairy was about the shittiest of occupations in Agriculture. A large part being that the milking schedules are relentless and would drive an ordinary person mad. Everyday is alike more or less. Weekends, holidays, being sick with the flu, it doesn’t matter. There’s an axiom stated in the Fourth Way that nothing grows a persons being more than having to endure an injustice. That’s the reasoning behind my comment about the result of an occasional Saint. Instead of speculating on life around a Dairy, I’ll talk about what I know as a now retired rancher. Having large numbers of cattle they become quite the opposite of acting domesticated. Being prone to nervousness when they’re gathered into the corral for working. Most of the time I could “tow” the herd by just rattling a feedsack into a catch pen where they could be easily pushed into the lot. For the last 15 years that I was responsible for the herd, I used antibiotics just a handful f times. It was a very rare occasion. Didn’t use growth hormones either. My philosophy was feed them well and have them fat going into winter. Being healthy, their immune system handled all the problems. If they had to endure freezing rain and sleet, I would put out a liquid feed just ahead of the bad weather that really helped build heat in their body core. Most of the ranchers I was aquatinted with knew the value in handling their cattle as gently as possible. Regardless though, with large numbers the situation in the lot while working them was often quite intense. I was the one who always did the castrating by knife. It was a bloody job that inflicted pain that I got absolutely no joy out of doing it. Just the opposite. Animal rights people have often claimed that banding the young bull calves was the most humane. I think that’s a bunch of horseshit. I could usually have their nuts cut off and out of the headgate in less than 90 seconds. Compare that to having to watch them walk stiff legged around with a heavy rubber band around their nuts that are swollen and slowly rotting off after a few weeks. Of course nobody would like to choose but If it were me, I’d ask for the knife instead of banding. It’s not a simple equation though either because an inexperienced person doing the castrating with a knife, it can go on and on and on with blood squirting everywhere and the calf bawling and screaming for all they’re worth. It can really be gruesome. In general I would say that kids who grew up on a ranch were usually more humane towards the animals than those who didn’t. I had to carry out some gruesome tasks now and then as a rancher but I never got any enjoyment out of it. Usually it made me want to go get drunk. I’m sure there’s a percentage that have more than a small degree of sadist tendencies. Usually it’s younger folks from what I’ve seen. But respectfully I disagree about sadist tendencies being that widespread as a whole. I wholeheartedly agree with the denial part. Lots one lots of self denial and refusing to stray from the narratives they grew up with and the justifications over ways in which they go about their way of life which year by year an increase in their overall vested interests is just about a given. ? I’ve enjoyed the exchange,,,,