Zigzag Idiot

US Treasury paying $24 billion a week in interest on its debts This topic can be approached from many angles. Taken from an article in Fortune magazine. Does this highlight the Trump Administrations' incompetence infected with MAGA belligerence? What about the credibility of the Liberal Democrats or Moderates whose undisciplined spending led the way. This statement also puts a spin on the overall subject of irresponsible government spending over the last 50 years. For me it brings to mind a plethora of subjects addressed by Seers, channelers, mystics, Farris wheel operator's, theologians, prophet's, etc.,,, concerning the trajectory of experience and increasing speed of change at a certain point in human history referred to as the eschaton, the resurrection, end times., etc.,,, Sitting at the screen, I begin to ponder the changes that are now occurring. Different unrelated subjects arise in my mind. That my expression of them become frivolous because of my compulsion to inject humor to offset the worry of the more somber issues. There are so many "something new happenings",,,, Disclosure of UFO's and Alien life. Worrisome conditions like the stability of the U.S. dollar and the debt of the Treasury, Unstable and extreme weather patterns affecting many areas of agriculture and its cost when subsidized by the U.S. government. Who in the hell would want to be President of the United States? Would they realize what they're getting into? No ordinary person in their right mind would seek this position? This began as a subject in the main forum but I began to wander off into other areas with my commentary. So I moved it here. US Treasury has borrowed $155 billion every month of this fiscal year—and is now paying $24 billion a week in interest on its debts Eleanor Pringle Posted: July 10, 2026 | Last updated: July 10, 2026 Despite concerns from debt hawks, the U.S. government is continuing to borrow at pace: For the fiscal year of 2026 so far, the federal deficit has totaled just under $1.4 trillion. The first nine months of this fiscal year (beginning in October) have now surpassed the borrowing levels of 2025, when deficits totaled just over $1.3 trillion for the same period. At the time of writing, the total U.S. national debt sits at $39.4 trillion, accumulated under administrations led by both Republicans and Democrats. As such, the monthly borrowing for 2026 now sits at roughly $155 billion, or $39 billion per week. And, like any borrower, that debt carries an interest cost. The latest monthly budget review from the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) confirms that net interest on public debt for the fiscal year has hit $857 billion: roughly $23.8 billion a week. This is approximately $100 billion more (13%) than the interest paid out in the first nine months of 2025, the CBO adds, owing to a higher total debt burden than last year and higher long-term interest rates. In fact, interest payments on the debt are now $20 billion larger than the outlays for the Departments of Defense, Commerce, Homeland Security, Education, the Environmental Protection Agency, the Small Business Administration, and the U.S. Coronavirus Refundable Credits scheme—combined. Also contributing to the demand on government purse springs is the increasing demand for social security, Medicare and Medicaid. Spending for Social Security benefits rose by $62 billion (or 5%) because of increases in average benefits and in the number of beneficiaries, CBO noted. In comparison, Medicare outlays increased by $58 billion (8%) due to higher enrollment and higher payment rates for services. Rising costs per enrollee meant Medicaid spending increased by $49 billion (10%). This is a trend that isn’t going anywhere: The U.S. population is aging. According to the Census Bureau, Americans’ median age—the age at which half of the population is younger, and half is older — continues to rise, climbing from 39.2 in 2024 to 39.4 in 2025. Men’s share of the older population is particularly of note, the bureau adds. In 2001, there were 70.6 males for every 100 females age 65 and older, but by 2025, the ratio had increased substantially to 81.6. Debt trajectory With the factors influencing Treasury spending only embedding further over the coming decades, those concerned about the U.S. fiscal trajectory are calling for action. So far, they haven’t got much response—though there is a growing sense of urgency among policymakers, according to experts. The latest CBO estimates have alarmed the likes of the Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget which, for a long time, has been lobbying the government to address its borrowing. In a statement shared with Fortune, Maya MacGuineas, president of the committee, said: “The FY 2026 deficit has now passed the FY 2025 deficit–and it is likely to stay that way for the rest of the fiscal year … We will likely borrow $2 trillion or more this fiscal year—an astounding figure given that the economy keeps growing and unemployment is low.” The current situation is “likely the tip of the iceberg,” MacGuineas adds, if policymakers don’t make changes to entitlements and “ignore the need to cut spending and increase revenues,” she adds: “Social Security and Medicare are within seven years of trust fund exhaustion, and action needs to be taken to prevent across-the-board cuts to both programs.” MacGuineas advocated targeting a deficit of 3% of GDP, roughly half its current level, a proposal that has gained support across the political spectrum. But she also added that “more importantly,” politicians should be “honest with the public about the grave dangers we face by remaining on this unsustainable path.” This story was originally featured on Fortune.com

On one level it's funny to watch all these conversations turn into arguments. On another level, it's something else. Frustrating, boring, meaningful, brilliant, stupid, compassionate or all of the above.

How fast can you awaken ? How fast can you fall asleep in identification? It's paradoxical and then some,,,, It is it. It makes everything become poetry and then lose all meaning only to reappear again if you give up. I have nothing more to say but I can't shut up about it. You're a walking mirror.

One morning I awoke to the voice of a friend. I cooked sausage and eggs as he talked to me some more. Crying while eating was,,,, well, it's never a graceful thing. It's considered improper. My appetite doesn't disappear when I grieve. Eating soothes my instinctive and emotional centers. Although awkward, It seems natural to me. This happened a few weeks ago. I can't even say what it was about. I experience my feelings that way. Maybe I do shut my feelings off and sometimes when they hit, they come on strong. Whatever the feeling may be. In the last 3-4 years my experience of hatred has evolved. I don't carry anger with me the way I used to. I feel hatred very intensely but it seems like it burns hotter and burns clean. If that makes any sense. It also goes against the idea of being evolved in any way, or spiritual, or actualized or realized,,, I,m not going to be defensive about it. We can't force ourselves to change how we feel. Ponder that. You feel how you feel,,,, until you feel different. Sometimes you never know who is going to be a Teacher. I've had a few Teachers. Life gave them to me. There was one or two ,,, who at times I fucking hated them. Being honest about it, Teachers give you pain as often as they inspire it seems.

Your chi is your replenish-able life force. You’re confused and then You see too much You gain an understanding which gives you a metaphorical Teflon coating. BAM

On the subject of Individuation. I see the title of the following YouTube fairly inaccurate but the content to be concise.

Merkaba and Toroidal field are two terms that I’ve taken an interest in. Also ethics in relation to A.I and quantum computers which is almost laughable considering my ability to do anything whatsoever about it. Now isn’t this an odd combination of material that seems relatively synchronous. I’ve got several metaphorical file folders in my mind where I hold bits of information as if were true. From there a discernment of to what degree is this true. Partial perspectives here,,, partial perspectives there,,, here a spective there a spective,,, fairly often blah, blah, blah, 😕 https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/markabah The Very Presence of Pure Pleasure The Markabah is a structure of essence, composed of all aspects in the diamond form except that in this dimension each aspect appears not only clear, faceted, and precise but also as the very presence of pure pleasure. Each diamond feels and tastes like wonderful piece of candy, with an affect deeply and pleasurably satisfying, a state of consciousness that fills the soul with a pleasurable bliss that penetrates and suffuses all of her field, filling all the cells of the body with a glowing and fulfilling sensation. The Inner Journey Home, pg. 240 If anyone reading this and is interested in these topics. Feel free to share your insights and opinions,,,,,

Used to say “mellow” as a description. Seems “chill” is the more commonly used term these days.

You should become intensely interested in your experiences of reactivity and negative emotions. This is your sleep. This is also my sleep. I feel I Am annoying sometimes. I should remember that less is more,,,, sometimes.

New technology Are these real?

The roots of suffering are in attachment. Metanoia is a transformative change of heart or mind. Originating from ancient Greek (metanoein), it means to "think differently" or "repent". It describes a profound, often spiritual or psychological journey of leaving behind old paradigms, correcting course, and experiencing a fundamental shift in perception. The repetitive motion of finding oneself through Identification (even true and worthy descriptions) keeps the being energy just below the critical velocity needed to escape the gravitational field of narrative selfhood.” - Cynthia Bourgeault What is this narrative selfhood? This inability to experience non-attachment that keeps one glued to a contracted neurotic self absorbed state of consciousness. It’s a state and stage of consciousness that every human being has to find their way out of as a child then again as an adolescent then again as an adult. This is not a one-time-across-the finish-line phenomena. To Self-remember is to make contact with a more transpersonal self who experiences a paradoxical condition of being innocent. Sometimes referred to as grace.Experienced in fleeting moments. It could be considered a muscle or a capacity that has to be developed through one’s own conscious efforts. Narrative consciousness can let us have inner arguments going that drive away the awareness of what our conscience is trying to tell us. But not always,,, Earth is a pain factory and we can’t avoid that. Just ask a gazelle that’s watching a Lion eat its intestines while it struggles.That’s a pretty brutal scene. Humans still behave in brutal ways. Especially when they’re insecure about their own survival. Now I’m just stating the obvious. Guess what? Bears shit in the woods.

Thinking too much becomes a problem in itself. Juxtaposed to this is not thinking at all. Remembering that balance is not only key in thinking but also in sensing and feeling. Each in a proper balance according to the situation. Some people might scoff at the idea of me being a person interested in the idea of actualizing my potential. I eat a lot of chocolate ice cream. Why? Because I won’t be able to enjoy it after my body dies. Sugar is not very healthy in one’s diet. I don’t deny that fact. But I tolerate sugar better that some people. Yet sugar does add to one’s tendency for expressing negative emotions. I observe myself become quite negative at times. There are many reasons behind why we behave the way we do. What’s in our diet,,, How other people treat us,, Environmental stresses,,, How do you appear to other people? Do they know what your inner world is like? Here’s a rhetorical question for ya. How is your inner world?

Hi Excuse me, uhh,, I wiped out my entire Journal a day or two ago. @Natasha Tori Maru , Do you think there’s some way I could get it back. I hit the hide and save button on the first page and gave no reason for doing so. Anyhow, please let me know if you need some more information. If it can’t be brought back,,, darn but on the other hand. There goes a lot of embarrassment for people who know me. Especially family. Either way, Thank you.

@Natasha Tori Maru Thank you!

@SimpleGuy Thought you might enjoy this example of creative marketing,,,

In my mind a placeholder is someone so independent minded yet trustworthy that they act on one’s behalf when it’s needed while one is absent. They don’t seek influential power but act only from a place of benevolence. Their humility compliments their confidence like a cool breeze on a warm day. They are the good Samaritans who do not judge.

I just woke up from a dream. I had taken a load of tree length logs to sell. The place I sold them was where I used to market my cattle across the state line over in Oklahoma. Which is a strange idea,,,, I was standing out in the in the parking area talking with aqaintences when they called out to me over a loud speaker. “Mr. Smith, could you please move your truck? It’s holding up others in the unloading line,,,” She then went on to say- Your invoice and check are fastened to your truck. We thank you for your business. As I broke away from those who I had been chatting with I began to look in the direction of where I had parked. I found to my amazement that the invoice and check was about 10 feet by 50 feet in size which made my log truck look almost tiny in comparison. I hurried over and spoke with the owners of the marketplace for just a second as I started the truck and let it build air. End of dream.

What’s one of the last things that David Koresh said? ”is it hot in here or am I crazy?”

Technically, we are all narcissistic. At least at some point. As children we all have some degree of selfishness to grow out of. Which some/many never do. Narcissism = self absorption / self centered / self concerned It’s a basic ingredient for survival. Most of the finger pointing which so prevalent is for the most part towards those who exhibit pathological narcissism. What is this phenomena? Projection, mostly. More than likely. What’s missing with the accuser's? Integration and Individuation. These are people who have to identify others who are exhibiting the very thing which they can not admit to seeing in themselves. It’s normal self preservation. But there’s a lot going on there,,,,, we all have to deal with it and as always, it’s easier to see in others. That is both narcissistic tendencies and projection. Powerful phenomena to study in others so we can apply it to ourselves. This is an understanding which makes forgiveness possible or overlooking a possible grievance. Fundamental and Pathological Narcissism Fundamental narcissism, the specific and most central manifestation of the disconnection from the essential core of the self, the Presence of being, underlies all other forms of narcissism. Pathological narcissism is a distortion or an exaggeration of fundamental narcissism. Fundamental narcissism is an intrinsic property of the ego-self, which is the self as experienced in the dimension of conventional experience. The Point of Existence, pg. 91 Narcissism is the Loss of Essential Identity Narcissism is not simply alienation from being, but more specifically it is the loss of the Essential Identity. Given our discussion of the function of the Essential Identity to allow identification with one's true nature, it is clear that this loss is the central factor in our incapacity to know ourselves as Being, and thus, in our narcissism. The Point of Existence, pg. 148

Excerpt from Almaas Glossary Ego Development and Basic Distrust To the extent that the environment provides adequate holding, the child can develop in the context of a continuity of being that allows and supports the individuation of the soul—one’s unique embodiment of Being. Because there are degrees of holding and of impingement, and because no holding environment is without failures, we typically develop a real (essential) and false (egoic) self in varying proportions. Basic trust is usually not totally missing, but it is seldom complete. To have absolute basic trust is to be completely realized. //—————————————/ https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases

Hey, you know no one thing newly. You non-adversarial adverbial you. Until you do. When everything is one. There is no Knowing two. Until you do. Then time begins again and the world becomes ordinary dookie do. Do you realize real eyes realize real lies,,,,,,, Really? No. You knew no one thing anew. THEN YOU DO. Wake up. You know? You know that one eyed man in the land of the blind is three, but acts like he's one, not two. At once, he's being mechanical Jack, Queen who is all feeling and King of Intentionality of attention. This Being is borne anew from Borneo. You horny ole careless, carefree, yet careful you. THERE you are acting as if you don't give a care. But secretly,,,,,,, you do! But sometimes I don't. I'm a flawed human being and so are you. You are somewhat like me and I am somewhat like you. Can You observe yourself in the midst of negativity and stop. Sometimes I'm able to but not always. It's difficult. It's difficult to just observe and not get lost in self-criticism. This is the work.

To say this masterpiece evokes strong and varied feelings,,,, It's still an understatement.