Zigzag Idiot

I remember my little 5 year old self riding in the back of my mother's Oldsmobile. We had been out to my Grandparent's house that was about 15 miles southwest from our home. My sister was recovering from chicken pox and it was going through all the local schools. I was in kindergarten at the time. The talk that day had mostly been about chickenpox and how bad it got with some children. The fever and the terrible itching that accompanied the illness. On the ride home in the back seat I remember jumping up, raising my right arm with pointed finger and declaring in a loud voice, "I AM NOT GOING TO GET CHICKENPOX!" I remember my mother from time to time over the years recounting my emotional declaration that day to others. What made it rememberable was the fact that I never did get chickenpox. Looking back and pondering what took place in my mind is a simple phenomena comprised of two ingredients. The placebo effect combined with strong emotional intent. I've also oftentimes wondered why doesn't it work more often. Intuition or some other faint voice tells me it's a lack of purified wholehearted intent. Something like that anyway. That when I've tried to manifest without success. Somewhere in my being there is a division within or a vague doubt,,,

Man is never helped in his suffering by what he thinks for himself, but only by revelation of a wisdom greater than his own. It is this which lifts him out of his distress. Carl Jung (1875-1961) Truth Only that truth which is recognized by all can become a fellow-being. You should grow up around your grievous mistakes like a tree, and let them be, until one day they become a part of your strength, and they no longer hinder your ascent. Thinking is a force, feeling leads to new motivations. Remain receptive to both and truth will become attainable. Truth is that knowledge which becomes one with being. You will become one with being when all of your burdens and loves, objects and fears, sorrows and joys have found their place in the whole. Joy and Sadness Sorrow originates when false thoughts supplant those things that are right, and a shadow realm comes to represent the being. Joy is wakefulness in love. Sorrow is the precondition of joy, not because there need exist an antithesis to joy, but because no one can let himself fall deep enough without sorrow. by Arnold Keyserling from; https://schoolofwisdom.com/visions-and-poems/from-dark-to-life/

I'm probably more neurotic than my score shows,,, Openness - 85% Conscientiousness - 77% Extraversion - 31% Agreeableness - 62.5% Neuroticism - 40%

If you're starting to feel overwhelmed have you considered getting a hormone shot? I figure you probably have considered. Just wanting to be supportive,,,

Great Idea!

I just thought it sounded good and really wasn't thinking that deeply so I may have to crawfish a little here. Pondering a bit more about it some text from A Course In Miracles came to mind. It's maybe more in line with the notion of us being a chip off the old block. So to speak,,, I took just a snippet from this section- https://acourseinmiraclesnow.com/course-miracles-chapter-9-viii-grandeur-versus-grandiosity/ T-9.VIII.5. From your grandeur you can only bless, because your grandeur is your abundance. 2 By blessing you hold it in your mind, protecting it from illusions and keeping yourself in the Mind of God. 3 Remember always that you cannot be anywhere except in the Mind of God. 4 When you forget this, you will despair and you will attack. T-9.VIII.6. The ego depends solely on your willingness to tolerate it. 2 If you are willing to look upon your grandeur you cannot despair, and therefore you cannot want the ego. 3 Your grandeur is God's answer to the ego, because it is true. 4 Littleness and grandeur cannot coexist, nor is it possible for them to alternate. 5 Littleness and grandiosity can and must alternate, since both are untrue and are therefore on the same level. 6 Being the level of shift, it is experienced as shifting and extremes are its essential characteristic. T-9.VIII.7. Truth and littleness are denials of each other because grandeur is truth. 2 Truth does not vacillate; it is always true. 3 When grandeur slips away from you, you have replaced it with something you have made. 4 Perhaps it is the belief in littleness; perhaps it is the belief in grandiosity. 5 Yet it must be insane because it is not true. 6 Your grandeur will never deceive you, but your illusions always will. 7 Illusions are deceptions. 8 You cannot triumph, but you are exalted. 9 And in your exalted state you seek others like you and rejoice with them. T-9.VIII.8. It is easy to distinguish grandeur from grandiosity, because love is returned and pride is not. 2 Pride will not produce miracles, and will therefore deprive you of the true witnesses to your reality. 3 Truth is not obscure nor hidden, but its obviousness to you lies in the joy you bring to its witnesses, who show it to you. 4 They attest to your grandeur, but they cannot attest to pride because pride is not shared. 5 God wants you to behold what He created because it is His joy.

This may be slightly off topic but I've found the following to be true, Don't make eye contact with someone who is angry or antagonistic. It feeds their ego while robbing you of your chi energy.

Lots of great replies.... Ego = "A bad case of mistaken identity" as Ken Wilber put it. One that obscures the realization and experience of Being. Here's a quote from the glossary that I've never shared before when this topic has come up- Ego Seen as the Belief in a Self Other perspectives see ego as the belief in a self or entity. The activity of ego is taken to be the activity of a person -- an entity -- who has desires and hopes. So here ego is seen as taking oneself to be a person, separate from the rest of the universe, who was born to a set of parents, who was a child, who grew up, in time, to his present status of an adult who has his hopes, desires and goals. The belief that this separate individuality is one's identity, one's self, is seen by some teachings as the main barrier to the ultimate reality which is an impersonal and universal Being, or alternately, the Void. Enlightenment then is the insight that one is not really this separate individual, a realization which is equivalent to the state of unqualified Being, or nonconceptual Reality. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 21

I listen as a heretic. To hell with the lyrics. It’s the beautiful voices and melodies that makes me smile and the tears well up,,,,

Periodically I get hit with overwhelming depression. Yesterday was one of those days. And some early this morning reading Bernadette Roberts, contemporary Christian mystic. The material she had written had to do with some of the very trying times which are encountered in our inner world,, when we are confused and hurting. The existential angst that may appear in our lives for no reason at all. Or to me that's how it has seemed on some occasions when I have really felt overburdened and overwhelmed. Fortunately as I have grown older these periodic bouts of severe depression have grown a lot fewer and probably less intense. it's amazing how much difference there can be in just a couple of days time. Often a long nights sleep with a very active dream pattern is the thing which lifts the distress and heavy mood for me. Whenever these one of these spells shows up and kicks the shit out of me. I find myself having a little more compassion towards whoever it may be that I encounter in life. I share this now in case there are any readers who are 'going through the shit'. Just hang on. It will get better,,,, It can help a lot to find some kind of activity to " break the worry cycle", as transpersonal psychologist Charles Tart puts it.

In the Fourth Way the process of disentangling the four Jungian functions is stressed. From my perspective it seems this process is prioritized differently among lineages. I took a snippet from the following article written by Ralph Losey. This is pertaining to the feeling function. If it interests you, I think you'll enjoy the full article and maybe some of the adjoining links found in it. https://schoolofwisdom.com/laws-of-wisdom/laws-of-human-consciousness/ Our ability to feel is also stunted for much the same reasons as our senses. There is little or no place for our feelings in the adult world we are trained to enter. Very few feelings are acceptable in western culture. We are taught to turn off our feelings, the boy children especially. Some sedate feelings may be permitted, but the palate is quite limited. In general strong emotions of all kinds are suspect and forbidden. The subconscious, instinctual world is considered dangerous, especially feelings related to sex. Some children are abused, physically or mentally. They are subjected to strong negative emotions, deeply hurt feelings, and do not know what to do or how to handle them. Many cannot endure the pain and so turn from all feelings, becoming dry robots, autistic or schizophrenic. Even in the best of families we acquire complexes or neuroses of one kind or another. In today’s culture we all leave childhood psycho-traumatized to a certain degree. The home of feelings, the dream world, is a forgotten area. It is given little importance by most of the adults who raise us. After some indulgence, we are encouraged to grow up, to put our fantasies and play behind us. Imagination is “kids stuff”, dreams are unreal or unimportant. So the indoctrination-education-program goes. We lose all touch with our dream world, our deepest desires and wishes. In today’s world of advertising, subliminal fill our feelings with new, acceptable desires and goals. In the United States for instance many of us actually come to believe that our deepest desires in life involve material consumption of one form or another. The pursuit of happiness becomes the pursuit of money and thrills. We find pseudo-happiness in consumption and entertainment, in movies and television. Our emotional needs come to be filled from the outside by observing the actor’s feelings. On the inside we become dead, hollow – the juices of our own feelings dry out. The function atrophies, and for some dies. Again, this process can be reversed, feelings can be resurrected. The joy of play and imagination we knew in childhood can be regained. There are many procedures for this reawakening, you have only to find the one you like. For some it may be music, for some acting, for some martial arts, for others loving and hugs, for others sex. For many there are powerful traumatic events in their childhood which must be worked through. There is deep pain and emotional hurt in their past which must be overcome before their feelings can develop and grow, or before they can mature sexually. Many different psychological therapies have been developed to overcome this pain, including the pain of birth itself with which we all enter this world. As we face and overcome the traumas and hang ups of the past, our feelings naturally strengthen, and our overall energy grows with the increased capacity to feel. Our dream world starts to communicate better with our waking selves. We start to transcend the advertising propaganda, to get in touch with our own desires. We start to find out what we really want out of life. We learn what we really love, what gives us real happiness and fulfillment. We learn from both our suffering and our joy. The dry sensations become charged. We awaken to art, to beauty, to sex. Our whole lives become filled with a new fire, with intensity and new feelings of all kinds. The purified feelings give our thinking a whole new dimension, our will a new power and force.

I find some wisdom in everyone's remarks. For myself, feelings are always sincere and never lie. Not so with thoughts,,, My deepest hatred became a doorway into a place where nothing is wrong anymore. With the caveat that the absence of Self Remembering is a return to some level of Hell. The idea of a 'once and for all permanent threshold' into tranquility is a fallacy. In my experience anyway. But the Kingdom of Heaven is always at hand if- "Ye become as little children". It gets complicated because sometimes my inner child is a mean little shit. So the idea of becoming as a child needs to perceived in a certain light. One of letting go and of embracing or a return to innocence where stupidity is not mandatory.

Thanks @gettoefl I found this interview to be much more approachable than her book - The Real Christ Held in high esteem by many with no sugarcoating and very plainspoken. Bernadette Roberts says modern Christianity has devolved into just a "Jesus cult". Under the surface here in this YouTube I see a division being made in more than one way from the old Patriarchical dominance of the Piscean age. Does anyone else see a parallel with Paramahansa Yogananda's: Second Coming Of Christ? This to be Christ Consciousness spreading in the minds of Earth's population instead of a returning messiah figure,,,

This will be a junction for all Christian perspectives. The backbone of today's Contemplavtive Christianity feeds on the roots of Eastern Orthodoxy. I'll be adding videos with sparse commentary unless meaningful dialogue ensues with others. I hope this is alright for this new community endeavor.

Becoming more grounded in the hara or belly center is usually a key ingredient for embodiment. There's some good excerpts about the belly center and embodiment on these two glossary pages. https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/embodiment https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/belly-center

This one came to me during my last psychiatric hospital stay. God is Great. I'm just good.

“We’re all fucked up.” ? “Hatred is perfectly normal.” ? “Be kind to yourself.” ?✌️

Reaching Up "Pills Don't Teach Skills" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2021 Dr. Jim Rosen Pills don't teach you how to like yourself. They don't show you how to manage stress. They don't instruct you on how to be more assertive. If you want to be healthy, you have to live a healthy lifestyle. Pills make the pharmaceutical companies filthy rich, but they don't guide you into a healthy lifestyle. They don't teach you self-esteem or how to relax or how to get rid of painful emotions. They don't educate you in relationship and communication skills. Pills don't give your life purpose or meaning. They don't teach you fulfillment or enjoyment or how to develop a support group. They don't give you control over your own life. Pills take away a few symptoms and then give you other symptoms (called "side effects"). But pills don't teach you how to get rid of anxiety, how to overcome depression, how to control anger, or how to be a more effective parent. Pills don't teach skills, period. Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist. He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor. He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma. Dr. Rosen works with his patients primarily over the phone. When needed, face-to-face therapy sessions can be scheduled in his home in Magnet Cove, Arkansas. Because he does not accept insurance, his fee is only $60 for a full 50-minute hour of treatment. He can be reached anytime by email at drjrosen@ipa.netor by phone or text at 501-623-2050. If you like Dr. Rosen's Reaching Up column, you are free to share it with other people. There is no fee for this column. It's free. If you're not on the list to receive it, just send an email that says "Please Send Column" in the subject line. You will receive a new column each Sunday. If you are on the list and you don't want to receive Dr. Rosen's column anymore, just send him an email that says "Stop Column" in the subject line.

Just joking,,,,, This is a paraphrasing of the Bible which often puts meaning in a different frame of reference. With the lightheartedness; metaphorical interpretation is sometimes more realized.

Poem by Red Hawk. Inspired by Lao Tsu's Tao Te Ching The greatest love seems indifferent The greatest love is Holy, and wholly impartial, which does not mean cold, uncaring; it means without judgement, indifferent regarding the arising of phenomena; it loves all equally, beggar and saint, friend, and enemy. The fool says he is "in love" which is how fear distorts relationship: the mind seeks an object to focus on; it seeks to claim and control, and it calls this love. The greatest love is without preference, Emptiness showering its fullness: the Sun warms flower and beast alike, shines its light upon the darkest heart.

" If you could float above the earth and become aware of all the negativity that is going on, you would never laugh again. The world is ruled by negative emotions." - Ocke de Boer

I've never had children but it's something I've thought a lot about from time to time. I know what it's like to be sleep deprived and under stress and how irritability often creeps in. My mother experienced postpartum depression after I was born I was told. One of my favorite Authors uses the work of Margaret Mahler in his overall Teaching. Mahler did quite a bit of research on what's going on between infant and mother. https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/merging-love Hope the days ahead smooth out for you and your baby. Your allowed to be angry or frustrated if that arises. Feel it fully so you can then let it go. Don't let guilt divide you against yourself. You seem wise so you probably already know to do that. Bless you and thank you for sharing,,,,

Okay Here's a good one,,,, The world of the schizophrenic and the world of the mystic are of the same dimension. It's not either/or. It's all of the above,,,, Delusions are the imagination running amok. Astral Beings exist as well

Christ is not Jesus’s last name,,,,,, https://cac.org/anointing-with-love-2019-04-10/ https://cac.org/wisdom-jesus-weekly-summary-2017-04-15/ Jesus was not a priest or a prophet in the usual sense of those terms. Rather, he was a wisdom teacher. He stayed close to the ground of wisdom: the transformation of human consciousness.