Zigzag Idiot

Reaching Up "Finding Peace and Beauty in the World" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen I would like to share a poem with you that my father wrote when he was in his mid-20s. I believe the words are relevant to our times. Paradox Are not peace and beauty words to please the ears, Their reverberations echo through the years, The paradox of beauty and of peace is found In that they flourish underneath the sound Of strife and in the ugly things of life. Walter H. Rosen 1935 Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist. He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor. He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma. Dr. Rosen works with his patients primarily over the phone. When needed, face-to-face therapy sessions can be scheduled in his home in Magnet Cove, Arkansas. Because he does not accept insurance, his fee is only $60 for a full 50-minute hour of treatment. He can be reached anytime by email at drjrosen@ipa.net or by phone or text at 501-623-2050. If you like Dr. Rosen's Reaching Up column, you are free to share it with other people. There is no fee for this column. It's free. If you're not on the list to receive it, just send an email that says "Please Send Column" in the subject line. You will receive a new column each Sunday. If you are on the list and you don't want to receive Dr. Rosen's column anymore, just send him an email that says "Stop Column" in the subject line. Dr. Jim Rosen Clinical Psychologist Magnet Cove, Arkansas Ph: 501-623-2050 Email: drjrosen@ipa.net

Still haven't recovered my google account. Haven't bought another I-phone either. With no phone it's difficult to recover my google account. For me anyway,,. I'm grateful to have my Subaru going again. I always enjoy listening to Ram Dass. Listened to this one early this morning.- Was tickled earlier this evening remembering how Terence Mckenna described himself in his youth as a hell-on-wheels science fair competitor,,, I'm sitting here on my bed. Sleepy and a bit dull witted. Time to catch some zzzz's,,,

I suspect that Mercury may be in retrograde. Not only did my titty picture machine crash but my I-phone bit the dust as well. If you're a Hopeless Idiot with severe computer technological handicaps, it's quite difficult to accomplish anything. Especially when not only not having a phone plus the most Holy sacred titty picture machine crashes and some rats disable my Subaru by chewing into a wire harness which requires a time consuming dismantling of engine components to reach the forementioned wire harness and then patch it and then diagnose the problems caused by the chewed through wire which shorted out the camshaft sensor which had to be ordered and then after waiting a week for the wrong one to come in and then order another which takes two days longer and then after having replaced said part must then find the blown fuse and put all that shit back together,,,,,, and it finally starts!!! Then I can go into town and buy another titty picture machine (HP laptop) and having no phone to get a code to open my email I must create another email account on this new titty picture machine and I still have not gotten another I-phone or accessed my old email because I have no phone to get a code to get my old email opened up yet,,,,. That's why Dr. Rosen's weekly mini column wasn't posted a couple days ago. I can't say much about there being a moral to this story because I feel my own bullshit detector starting to go off when I begin to consider which I should not do because that is exactly what inner considering is but to instead ponder a bit while multitasking the with the task of being discerning which requires fulasnitamnian awareness and so I must go for now and catch up on some journal reading and to also say to others out there who are responsible while being practical with undertaking mundane tasks or repurposing something like an old van into a camper but that's not only all I have to say but the clock is ticking away so until later to those who are reading thank you so much for being yourself and by the wAAAyyy,, Have a great daAAAyyy,,,,

As an adolescent I was so green that I thought women never got horny. I just thought they were being kind or were maybe just trying to get approval because they had deep insecurities like myself. I was so shy and ashamed of masturbating in my early teens that I thought about committing suicide on more than one occasion when wondering if other people might know or find out that I did such a horrible thing. At 54, I’m a lot closer to my physical death now which changes how I feel about things and what I’m willing to express openly or somewhat openly. Masturbation turned out to be one of my strategies for distracting myself from an alcoholic indulgence early in life. It wasn’t enough though. I struggled with my alcoholism until I was 38 years old in 2005. I haven’t drank since and have lost all desire to do so. I never thought I would be free of the compulsion to drink and I am grateful for that. Despite contending with other addictions on my path. By the way, one other strategy for not drinking was to eat a good meal. The compulsion for drinking alcohol is much less on a full stomach. In AA years ago I learned the acronym - H.A.L T. It was said that if your an alcoholic, one must guard against getting hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Human beings evolved with having an outrageous sex drive which has made it possible for our species to survive all the diseases and catastrophes that has been there in our history. Many Religions shame people for their animal nature which effectively makes them more prone to manipulation. Sexually repressed people often get really twisted. Like all those Catholic priests who molest little boys. Or sexual repression results in chronic frustration and anger for others. The adrenal type in the endocrine typology, of which I am one, is the most oversexed of all types in our species which is in itself oversexed. Susan Zannos, in my opinion, author of one of the best books on this typology titled simply Human Types; Essence and the Enneagram made a statement concerning instinctive-moving adrenal type men. That they quite often have a certain ignoble habit or tendency,,,,. I’m not going to disparage the disciples of no fap. I know that there are many ways of living with many variables. The idea of sublimation of sexual energy makes sense to me but I could never pull it off. (No pun intended) I once thought in the fairly recent past that if masturbation had been somehow impossible throughout my life, I would probably have already murdered 3000 - 4000 people. So don’t let those forest fires of anger get out of control. Just do what olé Strokey the Bear cub says. Only you can prevent those forest fires of anger in this wilderness of life. Strokey the Bear cub is somewhat of a stroke-slut and a carefree Carebear and many would not even suspect it. It’s true that not everyone is going to heed his advice and that’s okay too. Have a good day.

Robert S. de Ropp wrote a Self help classic sometime around the late 1960’s called -The Master Game. Another book of his written after this I enjoyed was called - Self Completion. My favorite of his though was his autobiography called - The Warrior’s Way. de Ropp was born in the late 1800’s in a family of European nobility. Bavarian ,, I think. The last of the family wealth was spent by his father who was a rather cold character. de Ropp educated himself and was one of the first in his field of molecular biology,, I think. Some kind of biology anyway. The hardships of his youth carried over into his adult life where he became one of Ouspensky’s students in Great Britain. Eventually he moved to the states. One of the most memorable parts of his story occurred in Australia during his youth and where he came quite close to committing suicide. Later on in his family life, his first wife went insane and during his second marriage his wife gave birth to a boy who was severely mentally and physically handicapped. For a number of years while he lived in the New York area taking care of his son as compassionately as he could occupied most of his time and resources. He wasn’t a very warm and caring person and reading between the lines one can get a glimpse of some of his inner struggles. He eventually moved to California where he organized small Work groups or schools in the Fourth Way tradition. He succumbed to the force of the Ocean late in life as an old man kayaking off the pacific coast.

Plutonium confusion That was a term I heard Ken Wilber use in his Kosmic Consciousness interview with Tami Simon. It stuck with me because I felt I could closely relate with what K. Wilber was expressing. I experienced a flavor of this in the recent past but with the added quality, from my perspective anyway, of being divided against myself. Being divided against or within yourself is what guilt does. That’s one reason why it’s worse than useless. It’s actually more like a curse and a spell that perpetuates psychic entropy. In the New Testament Jesus said in Luke 14:26 - “If any man come to Me and hate not his father and mother, and wife and children, and brethren and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. This sums up the state of mind that must be cultivated for overcoming mainly the Superego in oneself. ( The internalized critic in one’s mind that is subtly disguised from its origins as usually one of our parents or caretakers telling us what we ought to do or how we should be. This is one of the ways this useless paralyzing phenomenon is instilled in us early in life and ironic and paradoxically blocks from us our own awakened conscience. When the Quoted scripture says - “ yea, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.” - In my thinking that is the description of our life while under the influence of our childhood conditioning or cultivated conscience. The group-think of the collective ego,, Our inner barometer is not reading true with cultivated conscience but only after we have contacted that innermost place in us where awakened conscience comes from. Conscience not Consciousness. We are only awakened or have contacted higher consciousness when we see the uselessness of guilt and experience awakened conscience. Remorse of course ?is what should be there if you’re kind of a square or kind of a shmoo or kind of a shmoe or somewhat of a ho. Not a psychopath though who never feels guilt or feels remorse. That is of course a true lunatic who is like a cosmic dog tick sucking the lifeblood energy called chi out of everyone else. The archetypal egomaniac. I ended this rap not rhyming at all because it didn’t fit and so it might stick inside you’re head because you’re not dead or Zed or Sally or Hitler or Fred. You’re just a unique shmuck or maybe a shmoo or maybe a shmoe and kind of a ho. You are innocent you must see and not a chicken of the deep blue sea. But to not be a chicken, you must find the courage to truly think for yourself not like anyone else but paradoxically like everyone else when they have all awakened.

I haven’t added much to my ambitious project of redefining insanity through the United States Judicial system. I’ll probably get fired up about it in a matter of time. I think it’s something very worthwhile to ponder about. I joined Martin Butlers Patreon Channel a couple of months ago. He has said a number of things I just can’t agree with. There’s no more hero worship there with him I’m pretty sure. A couple of times I’ve almost cancelled and told him what an arrogant prick I thought he was. Then he’ll mention something that really makes me stop and think. He’s pretty real and down to earth. I don’t really jive with his cynicism though. He releases quite a bit of material on Patreon. Sometimes I can come across as arrogant. Leo has confessed his arrogance or exhibiting that trait in the perception of others at times. I respect his periodic displays of humility. He seems more idealistic than M. Butler though and it’s there that I side with Butler. He says things like just “be a loser,,,” or “don’t try,,,” I like that. Im not saying that my critique of either is accurate though. Most all of us are different when we meet in person. Self improvement can become material used for building more ego structures and dissociating from what’s most real. This can easily stand in the way of honest self observation and pondering one’s inevitable death of the physical body. I’ve used up all my allotted space for attachments on actualized.org.. One thing I must do here is to start using a snipping tool and replacing my attachments with those that don’t use up so much space. That’s why I haven’t added any of my I CHING readings in the last couple of months. I’m a technology retard. I need to buckle down and make some progress with freeing up space,,,

Reaching Up "Depression Serves A Purpose" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen When you get depressed, you pull into yourself. You don’t want to be with people; you don't want to do things that normally give you pleasure. You experience a lack of energy and emotion. Ordinary daily activities become major chores. It's difficult to concentrate and focus your attention. It's as if your body and mind are shutting down for a while. But why? What purpose does it serve? Like a hunger, depression signals the need for emotional food. You get depressed because you have unmet emotional needs. Whatever you’ve been doing, it hasn't satisfied those needs. Your depressive withdrawal from the outside world is your mind’s way of getting you to look inward. Mentally, it places a mirror in front of you and asks you to examine yourself. What do you really need and what will it take to get there? So you can see that if you're willing to make a few changes, your depression is actually very treatable. Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist. He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor. He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma. Dr. Rosen works with his patients primarily over the phone. When needed, face-to-face therapy sessions can be scheduled in his home in Magnet Cove, Arkansas. Because he does not accept insurance, his fee is only $60 for a full 50-minute hour of treatment. He can be reached anytime by email at drjrosen@ipa.netor by phone or text at 501-623-2050.

Link will follow.

@Space Lizard You have a valid point that in my own words would be how this western individualism has snowballed into the piggish materialism and shallow mindedness that it has. Valid point also about McKenna and his 2012 Time wave zero theory. Seems that one didn’t pan out though. Further down the road I doubt that hindsight will change much about 2012. ,,,? As you probably know he died around 2000. He’s a great orator who definitely thought outside of the box. Maybe he does gets a little windy at times and stretches the truth. Having close peers like Ralph Abraham and Rupert Sheldrake among many others should add some to his credibility. For many, he’s fun to listen too. His nasally voice probably annoys just as many though.

@Bojan V You are very right about that. Thank you for bringing this post back to the top. Feel free to elaborate if you feel inspired to. I just checked the link I left above. It’s still good if any readers are curious about ACIM.

You self righteous Idiot. Don’t write about certain things. But you do. That’s just why you are a shmuck and a shmoo and a Shmoe and also a great big Ho. You become divided against yourself when you think too much. Unplug your mind which radiates cold shards of broken glass which boomerangs and cuts your ass. Plug into your heart and not your mind and then you will most certainly find the answers that you need are emanating from right there which will make you a real Care-bear. That’s not just right but it’s not wrong and so I’ll leave you with this song. If you want you can sing along.

This song is about reincarnation which involves resolving the disparities in one’s inner world. What non-duality is cannot be taught. It has to be realized through understanding. Embarrassment has the same level of reality as ego. It’s not real but it will bite you repeatedly. That’s just the way it is. Not ever having lived your life wholeheartedly is a tragedy comparable to being a slave to the ‘should’s’ and ‘ought-to’s hurled at one by the super-ego and the cultural ego. The recipe is to not give a shit about what other people think of you. If you care about what they think you’re just an inauthentic Care-bear. It’s difficult sometimes to be an authentic Care-bear. To die seven times and pass through the upper four Hell realms in one lifetime takes the will of an Authentic Care-bear. Authentic Care-bears and Grizzly Care-bears are seemingly paradoxical characters. Human beings who use narcotics can easily become careless Care-bears who experience unexpected repercussions. Sometimes these situations can only be undone by Authentic Care-bears or Grizzly Care-bears or maybe even an Eternal Cosmic Grizzly Care-bear. Believe me when I say you don’t want one of these Beings to be riding your ass but you’ll be eternally grateful if they come to your rescue. Live free and wild while you’re in this wilderness of life. Don’t show concern just because other people are watching. Expecting Unconditional Love from others or using it as a standard for oneself to live up to is unrealistic. Love is a state of consciousness. It becomes a station only for a rare few at the station of Authentic (genuine) Care-bear or higher.

Reaching Up "Starve Them Out" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen Don't feed those negative emotions. Emotions are like living, breathing creatures. When you act out negative emotions, and you do or say what those feelings seem to "compel" you to do, you are actually feeding them. They grow bigger with each feeding, and you give them the power to dominate you. So if you're feeling insecure-hurt-angry, and you do or say what you feel the urge to do at that moment, then your insecure-hurt-angry feelings grow in stature, and you're more likely to suffer the same feelings next time. But if you starve them out, if you don't act on those compelling urges, the negatives shrink a little more each time. The choice is to make yourself act out your positive emotions - no matter how small they seem in comparison. For instance, by behaving securely or warmly or tenderly, these positive feelings are the ones that grow bigger and stronger. Slowly and steadily, with much practice, they become the dominant emotions, and you get to enjoy more peace of mind.

“Well it’s alright,,, Remember it’s best to live and let live The best you can do is forgive “

My Elaborate Plan to Change the Whole World and Stuff Part V Maybe I need to adopt another title for this imaginative conjecture that I've developed towards possibly redefining insanity within the Untied States Jurisprudence. Specifically centered around the term 'ego'. Not just ego but also bringing the term 'Being' into the conversation. For the time being I'll just keep this title as a heads up for those who are not interested but also for those who are. How to introduce works like - I CHING; The Oracle of the Cosmic Way and A Course in Miracles into this argument within in the Legal system? Is this even possible? I've began with quotes from A.H. Almaas because of his approximate nearness to mainstream secular orthodoxy. If there is such a thing,,,. or I would borrow Charles Tart's phrase "cultural consensus trance" but it would most likely be taken as adversarial by those most infected with egoistic worldviews. Once again I would like to emphasize that 'ego' is not synonymous with bad or false. Because of it's legitimate different usages this makes for a very confusing issue to address. Making a distinction between Being and ego helps to resolve some of this confusion. In my reasoning anyway,,,, Most of us stay too stuck in our head and are poisoned by too much thinking. How a certain usage of ego is a source of pollution to one's mind,,,, An Important Difference Between the Mind and Being These fantasies, beliefs and misinformation actually accompany almost all internalized object relations to some extent. Internalized object relations are rarely true representations of actual events or relationships. One’s memory traces include all kinds of ideas, fantasies and images that never had an objective reality. Another source of extraneous material comes from the psychic processes of organization and integration themselves. These processes modify the original object relations as more impressions are internalized. This is necessary for the integration of object relations units of various affect and content. This extra material, whether it is attached to actual memories of object relations or consists of pure fabrications, cannot be absorbed into Being. This is an important difference between the mind and Being. The mind can absorb and identify with any psychic material it believes to be true. It does not have the capacity, on its own, to discern what is objective truth and what is not. In other words, the mind can be deceived, even by itself. Being, on the other hand, is pure reality. It is the actual stuff and consciousness of truth, and cannot be deceived. It does not try not to be deceived; it is simply truth by its nature, a self-conscious medium made of pure sensitivity. Any falsehood, that is, anything which is not the objective truth of what actually happened in past interactions which produced a particular object relation, is felt in comparison to Being to be dull, gross and distasteful. When one is in contact with Being, these falsehoods are felt to be lifeless, thick and heavy veils in comparison to the luminosity of Being. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 163

@tsuki I appreciate you're feedback.

Reaching Up "Anxiety Guaranteed... If You Want It" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen It's guaranteed to happen. It comes right down to the issue of control. If you try to control another person, or if you allow someone to control you, your anxiety will be almost immediate. The controller feels it, and so does the person who submits to control. Anxiety bursts to the surface when you perceive that "who you are" and "who you should be" are two different people. If you allow someone to control you, you accept and give in to the false message that you aren't the person you should be. So here comes your anxiety. If you are the one who tries to control another, you are accepting the false message that you should be powerful and righteous enough to be in control. You can't really control another, so you can't be who you think you should be. And here comes your anxiety. Like magic, guaranteed anxiety for both people. Of course, "live and let live" is a healthier philosophy. Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist. He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor. He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma. Dr. Rosen works with his patients primarily over the phone. When needed, face-to-face therapy sessions can be scheduled in his home in Magnet Cove, Arkansas. Because he does not accept insurance, his fee is only $60 for a full 50-minute hour of treatment. He can be reached anytime by email at drjrosen@ipa.netor by phone or text at 501-623-2050. If you like Dr. Rosen's Reaching Up column, you are free to share it with other people. There is no fee for this column. It's free. If you're not on the list to receive it, just send an email that says "Please Send Column" in the subject line. You will receive a new column each Sunday. If you are on the list and you don't want to receive Dr. Rosen's column anymore, just send him an email that says "Stop Column" in the subject line.

Yeah, me too. I think antidepressants are prescribed too much and mostly just a profit scheme by big pharma. I thought women sometimes got estrogen and/or testosterone shots for postpartum depression, i may be mixed up about that though. I just remember a friend of mine mentioning a steroid shot of some kind she got for postpartum depression and what a difference it made. I ran across this doing a little research to be a little more informed, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allopregnanolone It sounds like you're doing better or you don't consider yourself having severe postpartum depression. That's good!

More preparation for Supreme Court arguments concerning ego Many of us have seen Judges on the bench who get all bent out of shape and take it upon themselves to start scolding someone. Maybe the defendant, a witness, or one of the attorneys. With this aim of mine to designate egoic nature to be the legal definition of insanity. One idea that comes to mind is that first and foremost it should apply to anyone who sits on the bench. Perhaps maybe a litmus test to determine a man or woman of Being and one not driven by egoic mind. The way I understand it .,internalized images are one of the main building blocks of ego structures, especially in adulthood. Whether you think of yourself as responsible, rebellious, spiritual, intellectual, or a patient and long suffering person. You will have some corresponding self image to match whatever your self identity is identified with. And not just one. Naturally we are multidimensional creatures and so we will have many internalized self images regardless of whether we are psychologically integrated or not. When Almaas speaks about essence he is referring to being. Being, as the general term for our Self realized presence which is flavored by different aspects of essence. Essential aspects such as Joy, Strength, Compassion, Merging, Peace, Intelligence, Will, etc., which contributes to the uniqueness of our individual personal being or some might say soul. Elimination of Images The aspect of Space is related to the Personal Essence in yet another, more specific way. It is one of the aspects needed for an important part of the process of psychic metabolism, i.e., that of elimination. We have seen that for metabolism to proceed to its completion, which is absorption, the false in any experience must first be eliminated. The greatest falsity, in any identification system, is the central belief that the image defines who one is, The content of identification systems is either part of an image, or used to build and fixate an image. So the elimination of image amounts to dissolving all of what is false in the mind. The truth contained in the mind becomes absorbed into Being, and does not remain as an image, which is a mental content. And since Space is what dissolves, or what accompanies the dissolution of, any image, then it can be regarded as the aspect needed for elimination. When an image is eliminated the mind becomes empty (of its content), clear, spacious and light. This is the experience of Space, mind with no content, the nature of the mind. The dullness of mental content dissipates as the lightness and clarity of Space penetrates it. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 316 Ego Structures Seen as the Structuralization of Space Space: This is the aspect that is the open dimension of the mind, which is its most inner nature. It is the experience of Being as a vast, clear and empty space. It is not an emptiness in the sense of lack, of something missing. It is the presence of Space; clear, light and immaculate. We have devoted a book, The Void, to this aspect. In that book, we develop the understanding that ego development is not only a matter of building mental structure, but that, because Space is the ontologic nature of the mind, these structures are built in the emptiness of Space. So ego structures are seen as structuralization of Space, building content in it instead of letting it be in its purity. This leads to the loss of this aspect. The particular issue for this aspect is the presence of the self-image itself. When one can let go of one’s self-image Space arises. Space becomes the agent that is needed for eliminating any self-image, which is necessary for the realization of the Personal Essence. In other words, Space dissolves the self-image. The individuality of the ego, being based on the self-image, loses its defining boundaries, which leads to the emergence of the Personal Essence. The sense of self of the ego, which is dependent on the self-image, loses the mental content that defines it, which leads to the manifestation of the Essential Self. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 316 I guess being a space cadet airhead should just be our natural birthright,,,, No worries, obsessions, or nonstop internal dialog. That's sounds alright. Sounds like being at peace,,, One more quote concerning self-image and Being,,, When One Experiences Oneself as Being, One is No Longer the Self-Image However, when one experiences oneself as Being, one is no longer the self-image. One’s sense of being a human individual is now based not on the internalized self-image, but on pure beingness, beyond all images of mind. This means that this new sense of oneself is not in relation to mother’s image. It is not dependent on past object relations, and is not a reliving of them. This is the autonomy of Being, that we discussed in detail in a previous chapter. The mother’s image is completely irrelevant to this sense of being oneself. It is in fact in a completely different dimension of experience. One is living on the Being level, while mother’s image and all mental representations are on the mind level. These representations are experienced as mere thoughts, concepts, images and of no fundamental reality. The disengagement from the mother in this experience is complete, utter. One feels no relation to the memories of mother or her image, in the sense that one’s sense of identity is completely independent from both. The experience of the mental representation of the mother is seen as completely alien to one’s experience of Being, as if from two different universes of experience. So the separation involved in the experience of Being is complete, total, and profound. Ego never feels such separation, regardless how separate and autonomous it is on the mental sphere. It is a different order of separation. Ego separation is like a distance on the surface of the earth; while Being separation is like going to another star system. In fact, it is more like dying. And many individuals respond to it as a kind of death. So now, either due to a remaining partial identification with ego or a late reversion to such identification, the ego reacts to this perception of such radical separation. This will naturally activate the already existing unresolved old conflicts about separation. However, even if ego development has been smooth and very successful, with little conflict around separation, there is bound to be a much greater pressure on one’s capacity for separation. The ego has never experienced such a measure of separation, and this naturally scares the hell out of it The fear of death or disintegration is one of the usual reactions among others . . . Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 218