Zigzag Idiot

Unconditional Love is unattainable as a station of consciousness. IMO ,,The way I see it is that the state of consciousness of unconditional Love is a state that can be tasted, so to speak. When I state "I", the lie is in place because of our inherent multiplicity, Hence, my ship of fools and yours too if your brutally honest. I am sometimes. I lie twice in two short sentences and I have to live with it and that makes three lies? No, just two if I'm in witness consciousness if my self observation is objective. I think,,, that may be another lie. We can try and try again, All of my ship of fools. Quotes about Shame Shame and Vulnerability As we have seen, the main reason we engage in meddling, resistance, and defense is that we’re afraid that if we’re vulnerable, if we’re open, if we allow ourselves to just simply be where we are, we will not be safe. Many people these days blame their insecurity on terrorism in the world. But the actual lack of safety is more a result of the terrorism that is inside your mind—the internal saboteurs. Our primary fear is that if we are open and let ourselves be where we are, we’re going to be belittled. We’re going to be rejected. We’re going to be humiliated. We’re going to be attacked. We’re going to be judged. We’re going to be criticized. We’re going to be shamed. We’re going to be made to feel guilty. We’re afraid that other people will do these things to us and sometimes that actually happens. But more often, we do these things to ourselves. Have you ever said to yourself, “If I really let myself be vulnerable, I feel so delicate, sweet, and innocent. If people notice that, they will judge me as good for nothing”? Or maybe you’ve thought, “If I feel that sweet innocence, I’m going to get embarrassed. I’m going to be humiliated. It means I’m not strong. Somebody is going to reject me or shame me.” These worries are usually a projection onto other people of our own inner terrorist that’s scaring us. The Unfolding Now, pg. 64 The Most Painful Affect of them All, Shame Narcissistic Shame: The narcissistic emptiness and its associated feelings are difficult to tolerate both because of its own phenomenological properties and because of the reactions to it. It is difficult for the student not to take it as an actual deficiency of the self and react accordingly—with judgment and rejection. We always find the student struggling with painful reactions to the emptiness as it is exposed. She feels deficient and inadequate, worthless and unimportant, weak and inferior, a failure, a loser, a nothing. She feels fake and unreal, lacking substance or value. She feels that she is a liar and a deceiver, an impostor. She feels her life has been a hoax, a waste. These feelings and reactions bring up the most painful affect of them all, shame. The student feels ashamed of herself, embarrassed about herself; she wants to hide. The shame is a specific painful feeling of deficiency, exposure and judgment, all related to a sense of inadequacy in being oneself. What makes this shame specifically a narcissistic manifestation is that one feels inadequate in being oneself, or judges oneself as such. She judges herself as unable to be real. She feels also the emotions associated with the “great betrayal”: she is a traitor to herself, she has sold out; she has been too weak and dependent to stand her ground. Narcissistic shame is an intense pain related to social failure, failure to be a true human being. It is a sense of being an inferior human being, exposed to social judgment in the midst of severe disintegration of the self. When experienced fully, the affect is very painful. The affect itself has a disintegrating effect on the self. The Point of Existence, pg. 334 Working with Shame Let's suppose a man feels ashamed every time he feels tenderness toward another person. The superego attacks him with shame and belittling, according to the judgment that tenderness in a man means he is weak and feminine. To begin work on his superego, first the man needs to be aware of the attack, its content, and the content of the judgment. Then he needs to understand the judgment psychodynamically. For instance, he might remember that his father had the attitude that men should be tough, that tenderness belongs to girls and women. Here he understands that he introjected his father's attitude and made it part of his superego. He usually responds to this attitude, which is an attack on himself, with shame and repression. Now, in applying this method, he envisions his father and tells him, in his mind: "Daddy, go to hell! Who cares what you think of me?" Here he is dealing with his superego in a way he could not have dealt with his father in his childhood. He was not able to defend against his father because he believed him, was scared of him, and needed him. This method might not work the first time, but if it is done repeatedly, it will bring out the man's aggression, and he will be able to assert himself and separate from his father's attitude. The defense needs to be intelligent to be effective. For instance, if the man responds with: "Father, it's not true I am feminine and weak. Tenderness is good and does not mean weakness or femininity," then he is being reasonable with a superego that is not really rational. Also, he probably has tried this response many times but without success because in this response the man is on the defensive; he is trying to justify his feeling and to account to somebody else for its being okay. Any justification already implies some guilt, and so it won't work. The response of "Daddy, go to hell" is effective because there is no attempt at explanation or justification and thus no implication of unconscious guilt. The man just throws back the attack and refuses to listen to its content. He completely disengages from the superego and does not give it any power over him. Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 138

Haven't listened to this one in a while. It's somewhat cringeworthy but contains a very beneficial made up fact. That's a fact Jack. If you're not Jack and I'm not Jack. What does it matter if it was a made up fact. It's like I said. It doesn't mean Jack shit. It could mean that Jill couldn't either. She couldn't be mean or do that other thing. So Jack and Jill went down the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jill forgot to take the pill and now they have a daughter. Don't let it get hectic Just because it's eclectic It's not a must but it helps to adjust. Just to get trust and find your balance too. Here's what you do. Find beginner's mind and for now tootle-loo,,,,,

Reaching Up "Moving Forward Without Worry" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen When you tell yourself, “don’t worry about it,” here is why that’s the right thing to say. When you worry, you’re not dealing with what is. You’re not even accepting whatever it is. Even if the thing you’re worried about does happen, the worry has gotten you nowhere. And even if you're in the middle of it right now, the worry leads not to progress, but to distress. Worry, of course, is a form of fear. When you’re bound up in fear, you don’t make progress. And progress is what you really want. And it comes from accepting what is, allowing that whatever it is, it’s a part of your life right now. So instead of being afraid of it and trying to avoid it or pretend it isn’t there, you can look at it honestly. Now you can look within yourself, and ask the right questions of others, and find the helpful ways to move forward. You’re not moving forward because of worry. You are now moving forward by being open minded and by trusting that the answers will be available to you. Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist. He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor. He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma. Dr. Rosen works with his patients primarily over the phone. When needed, face-to-face therapy sessions can be scheduled in his home in Magnet Cove, Arkansas. Because he does not accept insurance, his fee is only $65 for a full 50-minute hour of treatment. He can be reached anytime by email at drjrosen@ipa.net or by phone or text at 501-623-2050.

k If and it's a big if but if there were a rule that was an exception and an exceptional exception to the rule you and I would just be exceptionally foolish fools you and I wouldn't have to follow any of the rules of how to write poetry you and I could just write it just right however you like and not follow the rules of the "experts" whoever they may be and that would be how you and me are really just the same We would not be playing any games because we knew we were just the same That is all for now but there may be some more later Have a good day and catch you later alligator,,,,,,

The older I get the less unsure I am about not knowing anything at all ? about whatever ? and that's just alright with me This is really how I feel and it's just as simple as that As you can see, it is only me and it should be obvious that this I am that I am is both you and also me Our days on this planet that we are on are numbered and that is for sure but the vast openness that waits for us beyond the yawning grave has yet to come So please forgive yourself for anything and everything that you may have done and just enjoy yourself as best as you can but if you feel sad that is okay too Just feel it fully and stand right in the middle of it and don't be afraid but if you can not feel courage in this single moment It is okay if you can admit it to yourself But never doubt that when the time comes and your back is to the wall You can have your Being and you can have your Will But never hold back the tears if you start to cry It is completely normal and it is more than okay to not be like the others or to not be normal or be missunderstood It is all for the good But if the pain is still there remember if you can that letting go can be the single thing that can bring relief and the forgiving attitiude that exists within your heart can bring in the grace that has never left you at all but has only been hiding behind the forgetfulness that everyone of us has and that experience of grace can be yours once more as well as the lightheartedness that coexists with the always courageous heart

Reaching Up "Send the Anger Back" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen Each and every one of us needs self-esteem. If someone is trying to control you, and you cave in to their control, it feels like your self-esteem is being taken away. Indeed, you've given it away. So you're going to get angry. By lashing out with the anger, you're trying to push away the other person’s control and regain your self-esteem. The anger gives you a sense of control in a situation where you think you lack it. But anger provides a false sense of control – an illusion. It’s not the anger or the striking back that really gives you control. The strong feeling of being in charge of your own life (and to a certain extent, your self-esteem) comes from your ability to make your own choices. When you are the one who makes the choices, and you are the one who stands by those choices with appropriate action, the anger melts away. By not caving in, you send the anger back where it came from. Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist. He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor. He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma. Dr. Rosen works with his patients primarily over the phone. When needed, face-to-face therapy sessions can be scheduled in his home in Magnet Cove, Arkansas. Because he does not accept insurance, his fee is only $65 for a full 50-minute hour of treatment. He can be reached anytime by email at drjrosen@ipa.net or by phone or text at 501-623-2050. If you like Dr. Rosen's Reaching Up column, you are free to share it with other people. There is no fee for this column. It's free. If you're not on the list to receive it, just send an email that says "Please Send Column" in the subject line. You will receive a new column each Sunday. If you are on the list and you don't want to receive Dr. Rosen's column anymore, just send him an email that says "Stop Column" in the subject line. Dr. Jim Rosen Clinical Psychologist Magnet Cove, Arkansas Ph: 501-623-2050 Email: drjrosen@ipa.net

If I were an asperger's asshole who was never any good at talking code I would probably always be alone all of my life and would and not have a wife but would have quite an interesting life but if that aspergers asshole kept trying to learn to talk code but if I couldn't it would probably be too late to learn pig latin either so I don't know I'll just go for being here now and I will try to be a man who will try to not hate .....

It's not that complicated and it's been called the universal language but the language of the smile is the best deal that there is and it would be a really really good deal that only if it were understood it could really stop all vicious wars,,,,,,

Reaching Up "Put Your Self in Big Shoes" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen If you were God, would you give human beings life so they could make themselves look sexy? Would you put them on the earth for the purpose of making lots of money and padding their portfolios? Would you breathe life into them so they could gain prestige and impress each other? Would you make them strive to win and triumph over one another? Of course not. You would give them life so they can learn and grow; so they can experience and develop deep loving relationships; so they can use their talents to create and to help each other; so they can come to enjoy Your gifts, even in the face of adversities and difficulties; and so they can come to treat each other as they themselves want to be treated. You would want us to use our lives for these Higher purposes. Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist. He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor. He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma.

Condensed Wisdom https://starnetworth.com/web-stories/10-inspirational-willie-nelson-quotes/

“The repetitive motion of finding oneself through Identification (even true and worthy descriptions) keeps the being energy just below the critical velocity needed to escape the gravitational field of narrative selfhood.” - Cynthia Bourgeault

ZIGZAG IDIOT FLOWER POWER HOUR

If someone is epileptic and also dyslectic. Would that be more hectic or eclectic? Probably hectic, most would say. But being so diverse wouldn't that also make their experience quite eclectic..? I'll just throw this out there as unsolicited advice. I'll put this out so maybe I'll read it in a few days and take my own advice. Quit thinking so much. Thinking interfers with just simply being. Thinking also goes hand in hand with worrying. That's not good but it's not neccasarily bad. Chances are though that it falls more towards the bad category. As with many things, They're neither good nor bad they're just so so. It's a matter of how you take it. I've heard it said that pondering is thinking with your feeling center. I didn't get that book from Amazon by Rina Hands. It was an out of print book and the sale fell through,,,.

Reaching Up "End the Begets" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen More of the same begets more of the same. This is a fact of your personal life. If you keep doing what you've been doing, you can expect the same results to continue. If you keep believing the nonsense perpetrated by the pharmaceutical companies - that your emotional & behavioral & relationship problems can be effectively treated with their drugs - then you can expect a lifetime of their pills in your body. Real treatment (for life's emotional & behavioral & relationship problems) requires real change. That means real change in your lifestyle and real learning. This is not bad news. Rather, this is something to rejoice about. Change is something you can actually choose to do, not something you're made to swallow. Change in the right direction is fulfilling, and it frees you from past mistakes and past traumas. Change in the right direction adds purpose and meaning to life. Striving for change brings happiness. Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist. He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor. He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma.

I' m going to rewrite the narrative about getting soap in my peehole when I was little sometime. My writing was lousy.

What Winston Churchill said about human history. " It's just one damn thing after another". I slept in this morning. Had some weird dreams last night. They produced a terrible fright. It came to mind a second ago I wish I were in Mexico. The sun is out brightly as I get more awake. Perhaps I'll go work outside and not hesitate nor masturbate. One thing I must add. I don't communicate that well in code, you must already knowed. Yes, I'm just a little bit squirrelly and no my name is not Shirlley. My name is just Dave and let just me say. I'm the gayest straight man in the world and my attorney is the straightest gay man there ever was and neither one of us believes in a Santa Claus. But don't be sad and don't be mad. It's just as well, far as I can tell. But let me add, I'm not your dad and my name isn't Chad nor is it Brad. . Hell is only terrible. First few days,,,, and I'm still not gay and that's okay. I'm just little weird and some would even call me a lotta weird. If you recognize that what I write is hyperbole; you can envision me as a bumblebee. Not a bumbleboo or a bumblebow. Everyone already knows I'm just a Ho. Although I'm not tall and I'm not heavy. First time I humped a girl we were in a chevy. Another time it was 15 degrees and we did it on the hood and let me tell you it was some kind of Mmm Mmm good. One thing I must say before I go is to simply saaaayyyy, have a great day!

Reaching Up "It's Not Time that Does the Healing" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen Time does not heal. The healing process heals. Your willingness to do a little learning starts the process. It’s a process of releasing you from your past (things you’ve done, things that have happened, and things done to you) so you can be free of that stuff now and in your future. It’s a process of acquiring new choices and moving forward. It’s about reaching up and reaching within to your better self. Sometimes you have to shed untrue, hurtful beliefs and attitudes that have caused pain for yourself and others. Sometimes you need to learn to alter your behaviors so you can show that better self to the world. Sometimes you need to be guided to face and let go of old emotions that no longer serve you and your relationships. And sometimes you need to develop the sense of purpose and meaning in your life. All of it is walking a path that brings you more peace, more fulfillment, and makes you more alive. Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist. He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor. He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma. Dr. Rosen works with his patients primarily over the phone. When needed, face-to-face therapy sessions can be scheduled in his home in Magnet Cove, Arkansas. Because he does not accept insurance, his fee is only $60 for a full 50-minute hour of treatment. He can be reached anytime by email at drjrosen@ipa.net or by phone or text at 501-623-2050. If you like Dr. Rosen's Reaching Up column, you are free to share it with other people. There is no fee for this column. It's free. If you're not on the list to receive it, just send an email that says "Please Send Column" in the subject line. You will receive a new column each Sunday. If you are on the list and you don't want to receive Dr. Rosen's column anymore, just send him an email that says "Stop Column" in the subject line. Dr. Jim Rosen Clinical Psychologist Magnet Cove, Arkansas Ph: 501-623-2050 Email: drjrosen@ipa.net

i WOULD CALL IT GOOD HERE AND BE THANKFUL FOR THE GGOD FRIENDS WHO HAVE MERCY AND AN ASTRAL CAR, AND,,,

In hindsight my story telling really sucked. I could have done much better. I guess it was an off day. My heart was in the right place but maybe the emanations from the environment altered the personal emanations that delivered the message. Yeah! That's the ticket,,,, Another day has arrived. Time to turn back around and go forward with my hand on the plow,,,. Talking Heads and David Bowie on the earphones. I see some deer grazing up ahead on the far end of the field.

The above story has been a narrative about a once hopeless soul who once got soap in his hole. He hopes instead of putting soap into your hole he just hopes that he is able to just offer some holy hope into your soul with a lighthearted but serious and seriously funny story about my childhood. It is purposely written in a convoluted way to make it more difficult to read so to create a better understanding. I recommend pondering the ideas of A H Almaas and the difference between Holy hope and egoic hope. Have a great day! Holy Hope The difference between Holy Faith and Holy Hope is that faith is a trust in the fact of the presence of Being, while hope is trust in the creative flow of the functioning of that presence. So faith gives you the sense of being supported and taken care of by the universe, while hope gives you the sense that as things unfold, everything is and will be fine. Holy Hope, then, is an openness, a curiosity, a receptivity, and an optimism about how things are going to reveal themselves, because you are certain that the optimizing thrust of reality moves toward harmony and fulfillment. Even putting it in this way makes the hope sound too specific—it is just an open optimism about life. It is obvious how this kind of hope is helpful and necessary on the path, since it is needed to allow the unfoldment of the soul to progress without feeling the need to interfere with it or direct it. We know that it is inherently guided, and this knowing is not an idea in our minds, nor the result of reasoning, nor a logical certainty. It is an experiential transformation of the soul that makes the soul progressively more open and happily optimistic, trusting that everything will transpire in the best way, beyond our preconceived ideas of what we think is best. It is not a hope for something specific, as we have said. If it were, it would be egoic hope based on judgments and preconceptions about what we think ought to happen, and on rejection of the present. It is, rather, the growing and deepening certainty that whatever happens will be part of the optimizing thrust of reality and its guidance. It is complete openness to the unfoldment. Facets of Unity, pg. 269 from; https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/hope