Zigzag Idiot

Everyone is narcissistic to a degree. It’s okay. ? Spiral Dynamics makes a good map for differing worldviews. From resolving the disparities of survival / deficiency needs in the lower levels with its variety of worldviews. Conservative/family oriented to materialistic goals at orange and then more progressive at green. Then second tier and the emergence of Being needs. Yellow The transition from the First Tier of Consciousness to the Yellow level of the Second Tier is a “momentous leap” according to Clare Graves (1974, 2005), when the individual realizes that equally distributing resources among all people and expecting that all humans are equally good and loving creates more problems than it solves. This leap may occur when life conditions change to seriously threaten survival, and the individual/species has to relearn survival (Graves,2002). There are currently a small number of individuals who operate from the Second Tier of existence, but the species as a whole has not yet evolved to this level (Ooten, 2010). Adherence to the favored group in the Green level is transformed into acceptance of all people for who they are, where they are in the Second Tier. This acceptance allows individuals at the Yellow level of consciousness to speak to the listening of others, regardless of their level. Chaos is seen as part of the natural order and imperative for change (Graves, 2005). These individuals are highly flexible in their thinking and are able to see from a perspective that is larger than all the levels of the First Tier combined (Graves, 2005). The reality of existence is emphasized and interconnected with spirituality. The individual transcends self-centered, instinctual and emotional drives to a way of being that expresses self to the benefit of self and others (Ooten, Unpublished). Individuals at this level live from the knowing of the interconnectivity of all of humanity, and that what affects the individual, affects the whole. The focus becomes the continued existence of all of life (not just humanity), using whatever means are appropriate given place and time (Beck, 2006). Methods and thinking are fluid, adapting to conditions. If democracy is appropriate, democracy is used. If consensus is appropriate, consensus is used. Technology is highly utilized for self and all of humanity to rapidly network and interconnect with others at all levels of development, as well as to quickly produce solutions and resources for existential problems. People at this level can also express a level of arrogance about their broader perspectives and understandings (Graves, 2005; Beck, 2006). Individuals at the Yellow level of consciousness are motivated by the continuation of existence and use acceptance to ensure the continuation of life (Graves, 1974). Turquoise The Turquoise level arises when the interconnecting technology of the Yellow level creates chaos and new global problems. In the Turquoise level, a sense of order is understood within the chaos of the universe, and spirituality and physics are combined for a deeper understanding of how the universe and multiverses operate (Graves, 2005). The idea of the holon is embodied (that the microcosm reflects the macrocosm and the macrocosm reflects the microcosm; or as above, below and as below, above). The individual is seen as a part of the larger cosmos, a conscious collective, which serves the whole and the one as the same, because they are not separate (Ooten, Unpublished). In the understanding of that Oneness, individuals at the Turquoise level are aware that all actions and nonactions impact all beings, all planetary bodies, the entire cosmos (Graves, 2005; Graves, 2002; Beck, 2006). Individuals at this level see the earth and all living beings that inhabit the earth as one organism and understand that sacrifices are necessary by all for life to continue. These individuals learn intuitively and experientially, are deeply grounded in the metaphysical, and live minimalistically to create more for all (Graves, 2005). With such a broad awareness, there may be difficulty with creating direct and focused action. Paradox is embraced and known as essential (Graves, 2005; Beck, 2006). Individuals who operate from the Turquoise level value experience and through experiencing, they create communion with all that is (Graves, 1974). Enneagram Archetypes within Levels of Consciousness Spiral Dynamics is a model that describes phylogenetics, the evolution of the species. The Enneagram of Personality is a tool that details the fixated aspects of the individual and describes ontogentics, the development of the individual of the species. Pairing these two systems provides a map for the evolution of individuals through levels of consciousness. Through properly comprehending and applying these two systems, we can develop deep compassion and understanding for our fellow human beings and can be more effective in all endeavors (Ooten, Unpublished). from http://www.consciousdynamicsllc.com/home/levels_of_consciousness.html

I finally recovered from my illness. It was probably Covid. I had all the symptoms. Even though I felt dramatic and expressive in pondering the possibility of my death. I don’t really feel foolish now that I’m back to enjoying good health. I enjoy most of Leo’s lectures but I don’t agree with everything he says. Especially when it comes to our existence after the body konks out. Whether it’s 5 years from now or 20 years. I hope that I’ll actually be anticipating the occasion with at least some sincere curiosity instead of fear or dread. You don’t usually see people approach their death filled with peace. Most of the time there is a definite amount of physical discomfort. Because I never had children and a family I was able to go into part time retirement at about 50 years old. It’s usually the last thing that people really want to think about but I feel that seriously contemplating our inevitable death is a worthy endeavor. Being prepared for the death of my body is my top priority. One of my concerns is the scattered quality of my attention and consciousness when I’m in the dream world. I would feel a little more secure if I had some more lucid dreaming experiences under my belt before I make the transition. People are so resistant to thinking about their inevitable death. We’re all going to die and it’s just too easy to mix in imagination and fanciful bullshit on the subject of the afterlife. I’ve just not had whatever experience that others have had which translates into confidence concerning one’s experience after death of the body. I know one thing for certain. I don’t want a visitation at the funeral home before or a traditional funeral service either. Just let the crematorium make ashes out of my body. Maybe if some of my old friends and family members felt like getting drunk and burning my body up in a brush plié on the ranch. That would do. There’s always dead tree’s here and there scattered over the ranch that requires a fire anyway. I think that would be great. It would be similar to an Irish wake,,,

It almost looks as if I were a sadist. That’s not the case though. Although having gone through a lot of suffering doesn’t guarantee a certain outcome. I guess it’s more past tense. Sometimes having gone through a tremendous amount of suffering makes a person have that inner beauty. I know that’s not always the case. Sometimes suffering just makes a person more angry or mean spirited. Taking alchemy as it’s viewed by some. Going through the alchemical heat or stage in one’s life the philosopher’s stone is found. Or the pearl beyond price is found,,,, Integration and individuation takes place. Presence or Being replaces personality.

I love introverts I love people who are physically hurting. I wuv people who misspeak and get embarrassed chocolate ice cream whoever the underdog is people who admit their shortcomings I love the understanding that brings clarity and peace

Good documentary on Chogyam Trungpa. Run out of his home country Tibet by the Chinese. Eventually ended up in U.S. where he founded Naropa university in Bolder Colorado in the mid 1970’s. Had sex with students. Stayed drunk and high most of the time. Go figure ?‍♂️?‍♂️Paradoxical character,,,,, He authored this spiritual classic. I highly recommend it.

@Wisebaxter Please pardon my tardy response. My mood has not moved far from apathy the last few days. The sickness I've had has not let go. Looking at the symptoms. I'm fairly sure it's Covid. This morning I felt good enough to go outside and do some strenuous physical labor. I wasn't as careful as I should have been and got a catch in my lower back,,,,, Oh well,, Sometimes having two problems are better than having just one. It might just be my twisted reasoning. A phrase I learned years ago of having "problems of comparable magnitude." I agree with your statement. I encountered that situation in my own life in the past. Through Self Inquiry I realized my own unnecessary suffering in the form of complaining. I still catch myself sometimes. I also think that unavoidable suffering does exist but if met with equanimity or conscious attention, It can be endured better than when it's a source of mechanical complaining. I still fairly often observe my own reactivity.

In the 1990’s my father transitioned his ever-present side business from hardwood sawmill to that of sawmill equipment manufacturing. During this time I painted a lot of the equipment and breathed way too many acrylic enamel paint fumes and thinner. I also took care of a couple of cow herds during this time. Besides smoking 2 pack of Camel light per day for around 15 years, I also sprayed a lot of herbicides. So it’s mostly my past which might catch up with me. I did quit smoking cigarettes in the year 2000. I let go of managing our family cattle ranch in 2017. There is quite a history of cancer and in my family. Kidney cancer and more prevalent, mouth and throat cancer. I’m pretty resilient physically but like I wrote previously in setting my hypothetical time of departure at 66 years old. It mostly was an attempt at sobriety concerning the longevity of my own life. I want to be ready when my time comes. I just awoke after sleeping 18 hours. I do feel better but I’m still a little weak. Thank you for your response and concern. Feel free to write me anytime,,,

Thank you Annie for wishing me well. That's appreciated. I see that attribute missing in a great deal of the population, Too many people are just interested in putting themselves above others no matter the cost of becoming asleep to their own conscience. I make no claims of purity or being good except for irreverent bullshit hyperbole I spout every now and then. My being is always in flux and I try to remember my Self (capital S or Higher Self) some would call it. As often as I can. I do feel quite a bit better this morning. With the covid pandemic and feeling so terrible. It just triggers that fear or possibility. My father passed on when he was 66 yrs old from kidney cancer. When he passed I just set that as my possible time of departure. He pushed himself in the extreme attempting his life aims. Though I haven't accomplished as much as he, we have much in common. I don't take care of myself, eat badly and have been exposed to carcinogens to an outrageous degree. In the number thereof and volume. Given the commonality of our genetics, me and my father. I placed my departure from this planet at 66 years old just to add some sobriety to my overall perspective instead of thinking I'm going to life forever. At almost 55, this gives me 11 years hypothetically and quite arbitrary too I suppose. I don't want to be caught off guard. When my day comes, I want to be ready for it. Maybe even enthusiastic for the oncoming event. Hope your day is good,,, David

@MuadDib @Myioko Thank you!

This is in the spirit of my previous post. I reserve the right to tell you that I love you. Maybe even with tear filled eyes thinking of how precious life is. Then in half an hour tell you what a son of a bitch you are. All of us are this way. We’re naturally multidimensional and not necessarily bipolar. Don’t worry about your self image. Just have your being. I try to observe my preachiness. It’s not meant that way. I trusted a fart earlier and shit on myself TMI I know. Not to mention gross. I know it sounds dramatic but It’s possible I may die sometime soon. I hope not. I keep it an aim to stay in contact with lightheartedness. Physical suffering makes it difficult.

I’ve had a flu like sickness overwhelm me. I lay here in bed with fever, chills and aches. It may be Covid. I don’t know. It seems like it takes a great effort to type anything out. I love you. This happens often whenever I’m in pain. I get weepy and tend to be overly expressive and emotional. But definitely not expressed loudly. I love you. Whoever I see or think about,,,,,, It’s probably awkward to read. For some anyway.

Interesting relevant commentary in Tami Simon’s interview with Ken Wilber. Differing levels of testosterone in men and women’s bodies and the affects of this relative to compulsive behaviors.

I agree with Roy. Looking at this from an evolutionary perspective. With our mostly hairless and delicate bodies. This requires an extremely high sex drive over the millennia to ensure the survival of our species. The culture ego impinges on our sexual expressions. As in the shaming of us through religious dogma and other manipulations. By dividing us against ourselves through the use of shame we become pawns on the chessboard of life for those who are in power. Condensing this post makes my views seem more cynical than they probably are. This short clip of Mckenna kinda embodies the attitude and being energy of one who has dealt with the cultural conditioning of the superego. (Our internalized critic.) An obvious stumbling block is self deception which we would use to go hog wild sexually (Our red energy, lower chakras or instinctual drives and energy. One of my guideposts in the navigation of reclaiming my sexual expression and red energy away from the cultural conditioning is to -NOT IMPOSE MY WILL ON OTHERS. Purifying our emotional center doesn’t happen overnight. Getting a handle on our reactivity is difficult. Developing the capacity for bossing my animal around, to put it in lighthearted terms,,,,,Metaphorically I throw mine a cookie on a regular basis and not attempt to completely bully my lower natures. Ironically I believe this leads to awakening of conscience. I’m still a work in progress.

Good stuff everyone. I appreciate the distinction that's made between deficiency needs and being needs. That is between tier 1 and 2,,,, I've heard it said that in second tier one is more often working from the initiative of selfish fulfillment or inspiration. Yellow The transition from the First Tier of Consciousness to the Yellow level of the Second Tier is a “momentous leap” according to Clare Graves (1974, 2005), when the individual realizes that equally distributing resources among all people and expecting that all humans are equally good and loving creates more problems than it solves. This leap may occur when life conditions change to seriously threaten survival, and the individual/species has to relearn survival (Graves,2002). There are currently a small number of individuals who operate from the Second Tier of existence, but the species as a whole has not yet evolved to this level (Ooten, 2010). http://www.consciousdynamicsllc.com/home/levels_of_consciousness.html

Let go he reminds. He’s been putting out quite a bit lately on his Patreon channel. I paraphrase Almaas- - Don’t reach conclusions and avoid becoming miserable.

It's been hitting 100 degrees Fahrenheit for the last week. All the vegetation is going dormant. I'm doing a lot of laundry because I sweat -out so many changes of clothes. My I-phone survived going through the washing machine! I couldn't believe that it still worked. I've been putting off replacing my Subaru windshield for over a year. Gonna take care of that tomorrow. Living large ,,, ya know. Life in the fast lane,,,,, Hyperbolic rhetoric or rhetorical hyperbole. That's how my grandmother communicated. It defines my style of writing at times. I come by it honestly. In person though, I'm pretty deadpan.

Acquired conscience vs. Awakened conscience I'm full of bullshit sometimes and I'm okay with that. Because it doesn't matter, If I wasn't okay with my periodic bullshit ways. I would be divided against myself. I try not to dismiss or justify my errors but sometimes I probably do. When I err and it causes someone else offence or hardship I try to sit with it and cook. Remorse of conscience informs me and does so properly. The self sustained stain of guilt is a perpetual vicious circle. It's a worthless burden put on mankind by dogmatic religions. It's my experience that guilt blocks the awakening of conscience. So self forgiveness is a necessity and also to see what you don't like in others is also within oneself most often. When it's noticed. Everything is cancelled out. To borrow a line from Rob Brezney. "My morality is always on the verge of collapsing". My automaton or animal is an absolute slut. Guilt is often mixed with acquired conscience. Acquired conscience changes over time and is different between different cultures. This is our conditioning and super ego. Our internalized critic that doesn't come from our inner self but rather an auto-pilot critic from childhood conditioning. We should show kindness towards our elders because even though they had a hand in our conditioning; they've carried this burden longer than us younger folk. Awakened conscience is different and is the same in all awakened people. The 'language of the smile' is a cousin to awakened conscience. Awakened conscience is the intelligence of the Cosmos. It's the golden rule. Do unto others as you would want to be treated. We're all fools and a variety of them as well. A ship of fools is my so called "I". Make yourself vulnerable and Insecure people will mock you sometimes. This can grow you. Forgive yourself as needed. If anyone does you wrong and makes you angry. Forgive them so you won't hate yourself. Over and out. See you later alligator,,,

Guess Who? Who? No I asked Guess Who. Thinking of The Who. Now who do you think this is? Go ahead and guess,,,, The Guess Who, I guess. No. It’s The who. Good guess though. Can you guess who this is? No. Who? It’s The Guess Who. More Guess Who,,,, Who? No, Just guess who,,,, The Guess Who, I guess. Here’s some more of The Who. No more guessing who.

A excerpt from one of Cynthia Bourgeault’s online courses which is an excerpt from the Teachings brought forward by the mystic George Gurdjieff. Fifth Striving: "The striving always to assist the most rapid perfecting of other beings, both those similar to oneself and those of other forms, up to the degree of the sacred Martfotai, that is, up to the degree of self-individuality." The fifth striving may be one of the hardest as it places us in the position of a Teacher. Teaching can take many roles, from being a good parent, to sharing in a group, to being a guru with hundreds of disciples. Listen to your conscience and find your niche. As with every path of action, ego presents the greatest obstacle. Ego is like a stick with two ends. One end is the arrogant self-aggrandizing character, and the other is the meek self-deprecating character. What they have in common is their focus on the egoic self : "I am so great" or "I am so nothing." True humility balances the two and is the only place where selfless action can occur. Most of those who avoid the responsibility to teach use the egoic "I am so nothing" excuse. Do not underestimate your capabilities and do not be afraid to make a few mistakes. Teaching is the best way to learn. "When the Teacher is ready, the students appear." “Teaching is the best way to learn.“ - This is a statement which is also echoed in A Course in Miracles. ACIM and the Teachings brought forward by Gurdjieff are stressing the metaphorical interpretations of the New Testament.

Let's be real reactive now Of course responding consciously is always the preferred and more beneficial way juxtaposed to the reactivity that comes from our untamed animal selves. The village Idiot is a wild card Joker and there are many varieties of them. Whatever town or metropolis you live in or nearby. Everyone takes their turn in this almost inevitable kind of reactivity. The crucial element in evolving is always the return to the state and station of Ordinary Idiot. Sometimes crow is served up by one's own hand, to be eaten. Sometimes not. Not all instances of return to Ordinary Idiot requires an apology to another Idiot or Egonaut. The freedom attained in apologizing to another and the forgiveness that comes from your own heart boosts its capacity for emanating. Forgiving yourself is vital. Forgiving another, when necessary, keeps you from hating yourself. Don't bury your hatred like a self deceptive Zen Devil. And the nature of self deception being what it is, makes for a huge hurtle. No matter your essence or personality type. Say for instance you find yourself feeling betrayed in some way. Then becoming reactive you hit your uncle with a charred hamburger patty and you scream at your favorite Aunt that she's a goddamn cu** from hell. It's unlikely that you suddenly recognize your foolishness and say, "Oh my goodness! Look at how badly I have erred and behaved. Let us sit in meditation or hold hands and pray." Usually it will take at least a day or so of reflection, pondering, and more importantly a period of some deep sleep with good REM cycles. I'm a Mars/jovial/solar (adrenal dominant) endocrine type. So I've had these unfortunate events happen to me that puts me into the category of raging asshole hypocrite at times. Don't be a torture to yourself and others by acting constantly like an egonaut or an objectively hopeless Idiot. When you can, try to remember yourself and eat crow as soon as you can do so sincerely. with love, Authentic Idiot sometimes aka Zigzag Idiot Good quotes on the phenomena of hatred- https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/hatred

How many times can a burned out village come back to life? Have your Being and display the mercy that's in the innermost interior of your heart. Be light hearted. As always, a song only half says what needs to be said. Have a good day and be completely present to your immediate experience.