Zigzag Idiot

I liked what you were sharing in addition to your paranormal experiences. I don't know why I said this other than I just thought of it and it's related to memory. It's so nonsequitur that in rereading it, I sound like a smart ass but there was no intention like that. i was just being goofy and wanting to be funny. I really didn't think it was an issue but I just wanted to remove all doubt. This Journal would be even better for working on subtle negativity than big issues. IMO Dont go but Good luck if you do. I really like that song and video you just shared. Im going to watch it through a big screen and speakers.

The passion of anger Healing Forgiveness

Carol's use of metaphor that utilized something as ordinary and mundane like a vacuum cleaner was off putting to me in the beginning. Only later did I begin to realize how this added a great degree of practicality into the wisdom to make it more recognizable. Most everyone is familiar with what a vacuum cleaner is. Near the end of this 4 minute clip she touches on the use of metaphor. The coins just gave me one Hexagram today #17 Following. Maybe more later,,,,

This is a description of the spirit sensing part of the Keyserling wheel which corresponds with the astrological sign of Virgo which is my Sun sign. It also seems to echo many of the qualities of the 6 Enneatype. ANALYZE/DISTINGUISH: SPIRIT-SENSING. The adjective - 5 - pertains to analysis, to distinguishing one from another. Its archetypal symbol or myth is Mercury. Mercury involves qualitative discernment and the impulse to judge and rate. It is the "either-or" dissective counterpoint to "both-and" synthesis. The complementary impulse is the first, healing synthesis. The personality type is called the "Status Seeker" or "Performer" or "Motivator". They can be narcissistic, deceptive and pretentious, more concerned with the appearances and trappings of success in their work than with real accomplishments. They are frequently self- assured and energetic, but often too quick to accept the easy answer to a problem, and try to succeed in work through narrow specialization, frequently failing to see the forest for the trees. They tend to be the "Type A" personalities who are ambitious, overly-competitive or "work-aholics". They can also be genuinely-productive, authentic, good motivators and promoters, efficient, knowledgeable and accepting of their limitations, with many outstanding inner qualities and good judgment. The other 11 types are listed lower down on this webpage. http://www.chanceandchoice.com/course-overview/time-cycles/

Inner Silence I can't make the mind be quiet but in realizing being, the mind can be let go of. Or the mind can be held onto and just the thoughts can be let go of. It's a multiple choice Universe. Feel free to add valid options to the multiple choice list.

The false use of language starts with words that have come from thinking which is not based on feeling and is the chief cause of misunderstanding - This was a sentence from my reading which is from Hexagram 55 line 2. From the Glossary under Good/Evil Page 565 - Cosmic Consciousness is primarily a feeling Consciousness and that every person is connected directly with it through His feelings. When he connects with his feelings they tell him the inner truth of what he is experiencing. Doing this allows him to call things by their true names. Cosmic Consciousness is also another name for God.

Marc Schinkel posted a funny video on Dumivid's journal of a Russian Cat who thinks it's a dog and plays fetch. i like the Allegory of the Puppets,,,

Thanks, I'll probably post all my I Ching readings here then. Most likely, some days I won't elaborate on my readings. Maybe just a short comment or two but certainly at other times I will. To me, Awareness and Existence are about the same and in a certain sense Knowing is closely related.

I forget where it's at but every now and then I get a line of a hexagram that is somewhat of an admonishment for proselytizing the ICHING. If your wife has doubts and you find yourself trying to convince her of its possible validity then this might be a cause for the Sage too retreat. Im headed out the door to visit my grandmother in the nursing home and just received hexagram 55 lines 123&5 which create a second hexagram of 47. Evidently I have one or more issues today in which my perspective is skewed in some way. For the record let me say in advance that I might not always share my readings. If I find myself to be in a precarious mental/emotional state and I see that sharing would cause me a lot of neurotic inner considering then I may choose to be quiet. Although if it's simply a matter of revealing some of my misguided thinking or unflattering foibles then I have no problem in being vulnerable to revealing these unless I can see it would trigger a form of psychic entropy. I feel like I'll probably share most of my I CHING readings from my own Journal. Haven't really thought about it though. I'll just let things unfold. A synchronicity- my ragged book split apart months ago in the section describing hexagram 23-Splitting Apart.

Thanks! @Wisebaxter Yes, investigating this revealed that snorting it produces a long trip. Next time I would like to try smoking it so it's just an intense 20 minute trip. There are several factors which made it a somewhat of a bad trip. Uncertainty and doubt for one. At the time I didn't even know it was Dmt. The friend of a friend who gave it to me just said "it's a synthesized mushroom from the Middle East". Thinking, what the hell, I'll give it a try, I was really too cavalier about it all. Even though I knew about dmt from being a fan of Terrence McKenna Youtubes, it wasn't until after the trip that I found out what it was. So there was this complete uncertainty about what I was getting into. Also, in a weird synchronicity, the friend I asked to babysit me, through an extremely unfortunate event in timing kind of turned against me in a way or so I thought,,, yes, but not really. One of those hard to explain situations between old friends. A misunderstanding in other words. This happens not long after I snorted it. So here I am starting to trip but at the same time, feel the need to start explaining or defending myself in regards to another situation. This is what really put the screws to me. Thank goodness my friend really is a friend and she waited for another day in order for me to make clear about this other misunderstanding . The timing of all this though caused me to completely fight back and resist the trip. It's hard to fully explain the stress this caused me. I ended up alternating between laying flat out on the couch/floor/ground getting lost in this other world anytime I closed my eyes and then clinging to my friend like a juvenile monkey hanging onto its mother. I remember her laughing as she went from room to room in the house or outside and I tagged along holding on to her with one hand or both arms around her. Probably also the shit I was saying was cracking her up. It seemed like half an eternity before it came to an end. Thank goodness also that my friend really proved her friendship in shelving the issue at the beginning of the trip and did lookout for me while I was kinda helpless. But the tone that was set at the beginning on top of the uncertainty of what I had even sorted made for way too much ambiguity. I live and learn. Afterward I was able to track down the friend of a friend who gave it. He let me look at the label on the foil like pouch he still had and I was able to barely make out the word dimethyltryptamine.

I appreciate the influence of everyone's musical tastes. It made me realize what a simpleton and dinosaur I am. There were 25-30 kids in the group I went to kindergarten with. With my birthday on September 1, the last two weeks in August when I started, I was still a 4 year old. About a month or two into the school year, we had all learned a little song that we all sang together after after the pledge of allegiance. We all sat in a big oblong circle utilizing a rectangular room. All I remember is it was a song about animals walking single file or something like that. One morning when we sang the song, I repeated the chorus for another circle maybe 4 instead of 3 times. The reason I didn't notice I was the only one singing was because I was screaming it as loud as I could, oblivious to everything except my intention of volume. Actually I didn't sing a full repeat but maybe about 2/3 when I suddenly became aware of the absolute stillness and quiet and all those eyes looking at me. I encountered the eternity that's within the second hand of the clock, so to speak. I really felt embarrassment and shame. After half an eternity Mrs Sanders, the veteran Kindergarten teacher slowly directed the class' attention toward the next activity after she asked me, are you finished? I think I may have just nodded my head. I've always had this getting lost in my own world kinda condition, especially with music . It's separate but similar in ways to the Solar essence type. Butters on South Park has a lot of Solar qualities. Mostly it's the naivety and obliviousness. I'm probably as much Butters as I am Stan, and a my ego has most of Cartman's qualities.

I'm tickled you're doing this. You seem to go about things more thourghly than I do and that will help me learn more about and integrate its many facets. I use the RTCM only occasionally and need to start utilizing and practicing it more. My practice is really simple. I don't even ask a question but simply throw the coins every morning with the expectation that I'll get the hexagram and reading that will benifit my inner world the most for that day. Often times it's in the form of a heads up in regard to stressful situations. Other times it confirms balance or inner truth. There are times when it doesn't make any sense and usually I can trace that back to insincerity in my attitude. Also if I ignore its advice or I'm looking for it to confirm something I want, the Sage retreats,,,

I was actually refering to your fathers anger. I know it makes it difficult for everyone else but I was thinking about my anger in the past and the guilt it caused me afterward and I'm sure it probably does your father. From what you said, it sounds like he really tries to be a good father. For me, anger is less of a problem than fear. Fear, automatically around everything. My sisters big struggle is anger though and I observe the guilt and remorse she feels after a round of word vomit. I've experienced that kind of anger and loss of control enough to know the inner suffering it produces. We all have our 'stuff'. ?

I was so idealistic, If my younger self would have seen what I've become, he would have killed himself immediately. Dynamite would work ok. But from here looking back, it doesnt seem all that bad. If that makes any sense,,,

Unhuh, not nice either like vice grips and blow torches. I don't practice this anymore after I realized more the power of thought. It's not a healthy practice. My 23 yr old self wouldn't listen. In one ear and out the other. My whole ship of fools were even more hardheaded back then. I don't know,,,,,??

I empathize with all points of view you paint within your household. In the past as a periodically angry and reactive person, I would become completely overwhelmed with guilt at times which created a negative feedback loop and perpetuated the suffering. It's not an easy cycle to get out of.

In the past I would pretend that within a few minutes, as a captive, I would be subjected to a slow brutal form of physical torture until death. It would bring me more into the present and the experience gratitude for very simple things.

Correctomundo, I'm an old guy at 51. I've heard of Pokémon though. Also familiar with wake and bake. Was effective for me in getting off Paxil. Much more healthy than SSRI or beerios.

Phony amiability is a part of my shadow and chief feature that I'm trying to work on. I often abandon my inner truth just to get along sometimes.

In my morning I CHING reading, I got hexagram 51 lines 1 and 5 which resulted in a second Hexagram 45. Sex energy In Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson, there are 3 categories of food for three brained beings. Ordinary food for the planetary body, air is the second being food, impressions (visual;sensory) are the third being food. Wrong use of sexual energy is articulated as expressing negative emotions as well as the habit of being fidgety. The necessity of Conscious suffering is buried under a mountain of words which many end up deciphering as Conscious intake of air and Conscious intake of impressions or in other words - being present. Transmutation of the sexual substance is also necessary but on the other hand, (no pun intended) complete abstinence is said to produce two distinct pathological side effects. Will Mesa using quotes from 'The Tales', elaborates on this- Transmutation of the sexual substance enables us to connect with other worlds, as well as allowing us to have direct connection with other people. This connectivity cannot and is not proper to the three lower three centers. We can see the world and other’s worlds directly, without the filters introduced by the functionality of the lower three centers. Hence the importance of transmutation of the sexual substance. For many centuries, monks of every age have engaged in the practice of sexual abstinence as way of transmutation of the sexual substance. However, as it is clearly stated in the book, abstinence does not work: “At the present time, very many of these ‘monasteries’ exist there, and these innumerable ‘monks’ who enter them do indeed strictly abstain from the ejection from themselves in the customary way of the being-Exioëhary or sperm formed in them; but of course, no sensible result at all is ever obtained from this abstinence of theirs, and it is not obtained, because the thought has ceased even to enter the heads of these unfortunate ‘contemporary’ monks that although it is indeed possible, by means of these substances Exioëry formed in them, to perfect themselves, yet this can proceed exclusively only if the second and third being-foods are intentionally absorbed and consciously digested in one’s presence, and this is possible exclusively only if all the parts of one’s presence have been accustomed beforehand consciously to fulfill both sacred being-Partkdolg-duties, that is to fulfill ‘conscious labors’ and ‘intentional sufferings.’” Two serious effects of this abstinence are also mentioned in the book: “The first kind of action of this definite substance consists in this, that it promotes the depositing of superfluous what is called ‘Karatsiag,’ or, as they call it there, ‘fat.’ And its second kind of action promotes the arising and the dispersing over the whole planetary body of what are called ‘Poisonioonoskirian-vibrations.’ “The consequence of all this is that in the first case these terrestrial abstaining monks become extraordinarily, as it is usually said there, fat, and sometimes one indeed meets among these fat monks specimens with such an abundant deposit of fat, that they could give many points to that form of being there which they expressly fatten in order to increase this same fat in their planetary bodies, and this form of being they call there ‘pig.’ “And in the second case, on the contrary, these abstaining monks become, as it is also usually said there, ‘meager-thin’; and the action of the ‘Poisonioonoskirian-vibrations’ which penetrate through them is chiefly evident in their general psyche which becomes sharply dual and the manifestations of which are divided into two diametrically opposite kinds – the outer, visible and for show, sensed by everyone around them, and the inner and hidden, which the ordinary beings there, especially the contemporary, are entirely incapable of ascertaining The or perceiving – namely, in their outer visible manifestations, these ‘Poisonioonoskirian-monks’ appear to be what your favorites would express as ‘bigots’ of a high degree; and in their hidden inner manifestations, not shown to others, what your favorites would call ‘expert cynics,’ also of a high degree.” I was able to verify these two facts during a four year stay at a Chan (Zen) meditation center. The fat monks all they cared about was to end the satsang so they could go to the basement to have a drink and a piece of cake. The thin monks were indeed expert cynics. Will Mesa also states- It is quite obvious from the quote above that transmutation of the sexual substance which is the result of the transformation of the first being-food, demands serious practice of “conscious labors” and “intentional suffering.” The only problem is that these two being-Partkdolg-duty are not specifically spelled out in the book, except only to say that the best form of “intentional suffering” is to bear the unpleasant manifestation of other beings during one’s shared existence with them.

What is Love? Are there different kinds of love?

@tsuki I don't think it applies the way you laid it out but I agree with what you say and that it does often apply to many. I'm saying this just as an objective third party who's read @flowboy Journal pretty consistent. I liked the book ThE Superior Man by David Deita also, he recommends I liked both those videos. The warm guys understand about finding third force. They left out Fonzie, when they listed the cool guys, though..

I think the ability to create metaphor and allegories to communicate requires 3 centered awareness. I went to go google about what that ability requires or signifies 2 hours ago and got diverted. After a google search I got diverted again reading the best explanation of Platos cave, that I've ever read. https://laney.edu/humanities_philosophy/allegory-of-the-cave-a-modest-interpretation/ While in the shower I realized the Georgia guidestones are not a Manifesto for an evil world government. That just shows the amount of negativity in a lot of peoples subconscious if you YouTube the subject. Instead they're a Legominism as well as a prophesy of an age where humanity awakens and we shut off mechanical baby making. There's too many people for this planet with our current technology. I don't know if what I just expressed is true. I just pulled it out of thin air. I think I'll go read again what the guidestones actually say. It's been a few years Hope there's something relatable. I got diverted, then after going off on a tangent, turned down a side street, I don't cook or do math.

In Talks on Beelzebub's Tales, Bennett distinguishes four types of suffering - Unnecessary Suffering, Unavoidable Suffering, Voluntary Suffering and Intentional Suffering. The first is Unnecessary Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that we incur because of our unreasonable attitudes and expectations towards others, from our ill-will, hatred and rejection of others, from doubt, possessiveness, arrogance and self pity. In other words, suffering arising from our self-importance. The second is Unavoidable Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that comes to us by accident or from events beyond our control, such as interpersonal conflicts, war, disaster, disease or death. Third, we have Voluntary Suffering. This would be the type of suffering that we take upon ourselves in order to accomplish a personal aim, such as an athlete who disciplines himself to win a race, or a student who labours to get good grades. And finally we have Intentional Suffering. According to Bennett, this would be the kind of suffering that we take upon ourselves in order to accomplish an impersonal or altruistic goal, one that is directed more towards service to others or to the Work, and not for any personal gain. Bennett assumes that this is what Gurdjieff meant by Intentional Suffering.

I'm not disagreeing with what you say. I would just argue in there being also this personal aspect of essence which is the cleaned up version of the false personality that the Fourth Way speaks of and realizing the nothingness of it. All the passions of the Enneagram within oneself transformed into the virtues on the flip side of the specific energy.