Zigzag Idiot

Member
  • Content count

    4,392
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Zigzag Idiot

  1. Yes, sometimes. When I realize that I mistakenly follow obsessions.
  2. Me too. I have both a double barrel shotgun and a semiautomatic that I can't seem to get rid of. I throw them away and they remanifest like I'm living in the movie Groundhog Day.
  3. I would be glad to only if the Muse works through me. On my own it would become polluted with imagination. Did it? No, but returning to Ordinary Idiot and finding beginners mind has been restorative. No answers though.
  4. @mandyjw I like to think I'm beyond psychological projection, but Inquiry at times tells me otherwise. When do I catch myself projecting? Sometimes in hindsight, in seeing that the ego/personality has become identified over something.
  5. @Wisebaxter The video you mention of Leo's live enlightenment is one I haven't seen. I'm going to make it a point to watch it soon!
  6. <3

    @zambize If you see my blind spot. Tell me about it. Be without mercy. Thanks.
  7. Today I will be Ordinary Idiot and try to settle into beginners mind. If an answer comes to me regarding the question, I'll relay it.
  8. Not at all. What's the question?
  9. Hydrocodone. At the time, I thought of it as 'better living through chemistry '.
  10. Real I = True Self A voice said to me - Squirming Idiot ?‍♂️ I really don't know. That's just what the voice said.
  11. 4-2-2019 21 Biting Through Lines 5&6 17 Following
  12. @tsuki I could be wrong but my intuition tells me you still have deeper layers to reach. Also, while being intellectually oriented, you appear to be operating out of the emotional center with some reactivity that points toward,,,,,,?
  13. @tsuki one place to start,,, What is your center of gravity? Your strong suit,,, Intellectual, Emotional, or moving/instinctive.
  14. Around 1999-2000 I quit after smoking 1to 2 packs/day for 15 years. The first 8 weeks were hell. Living by the minute,,, I found truth in the three minute rule for cravings and just breathed through it. I felt like a rabid dog. After about 10 days I decided anything goes and ate pain pills for about the next 6 weeks to distract myself from the nicotine cravings. Not very orthodox but it got me through the first couple months. Added a second thorn to help extract the first,,, Wiping off blood with blood,,,, The cravings were definitely less after 3 months. Not an easy time,,,, Cravings finally went away completely after about a year. They do go away.
  15. Starting at 2:20 Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson is being read from as narrative for the video. 8 minutes.
  16. @tsuki We should discuss it and you should choose. My guess at picking one wouldn't mean anything for you. Gurdjieff had students and Dinner guests choose their own. Would you be interested in doing that?
  17. @tsuki That's healthier than it being an OCD which it almost is for me. I Look forward to your posts and insights whenever the spirit moves you,,,
  18. 4-1-2019 32 Duration Line 6 This line addresses restlessness caused by a spell 50 The Ting in its Cosmic meaning, the ting is an image of the Cosmic Consciousness as a vessel containing the nourishment for all things that exist. The ting is also a metaphor for what a person allows to occupy his conscious mind. Harmony is a major theme in the I CHING. Hearing this song as a kid would give me goose bumps all over. I thought of it and looked it up a couple days ago. Lyrics imply insomnia and projection and are kinda shallow and too cyclical. May as well be singing about shoveling rabbit manure. It doesn't matter though. It's the great harmony of voices that does it for me. One reason I like Jeff Lynne's Electric Light Orchestra is his frequent rich blend of harmonies. Charlie Dore's voice reminds me of Alison Krauss Harmony is good, Mmkay.
  19. In regards to my tendency for overcompensating and going into false humility I'm reminded of an old joke. Says a patient to their Therapist, Doc, you say I have an inferiority complex. But so far as inferiority complexes go,,,, Well, I imagine It's probably not much of one.
  20. @Karla Good articulation and presence. Hope you can catch some rest and get to feeling better. ??
  21. There is not one person in this forum who is completely awakened, myself included. Inside Out Song lyrics. Be careful where you're walking You might step in something rough (Be mindful) Be careful when you're talking And saying all that stuff (Be careful about expressing negative emotion) Take care when you are breathing Something's funny in the air ( Breath Consciously) there's some things they're not saying 'bout what's happening out there (Spiritual sleep) It's inside out,,,, There is not one person in this forum who is completely awakened, myself included. Spiritual sleep takes many forms which include our unconstrained imagination which ranges from blatant to extremely subtle. Leo made reference to these subtle forms in his last video. His 3 part series on self deception and his video Mankind is the Bullshiting animal go directly towards addressing this part of our nature. We lie to ourselves all the time and stay lost and polluted from imagination. Most everyone at times is sure that it doesn't really apply to them because they are unwittingly identified with their own ego. I do not exclude myself. This includes everyone and the more someone refuses to see it in themselves, the more asleep they are to their own ego. Because of our psychological blindspot in which we can most often see others but not our own, people are often convinced that they are a little more 'awake' than others. Living in identification with one's beliefs is another form of spiritual sleep. Spiritual sleep and the state of being identified involves the intellectual - emotional complex in ungrounded feedback loops. It happens when we are stuck in our head and ungrounded from absence of body awareness. Very many people live exclusively here and are completely unaware of it. The transition from the First Tier of Consciousness to the Yellow level of the Second Tier is a “momentous leap” according to Clare Graves ,,,, One of my longest held work aims has been to not express negative emotions. I still fail continually, but I’ve noticed a lot about myself by trying to do this. Spiritually asleep people in the forums are the first to spout off - there is no self or there is no I. blah,blah,blah,,, Although, technically in a sense, this is true. If I stay in the outer part of my centers, (Intellectual, emotional, Instinctive), on the surface of life, I’ll just be reactive with my attention dispersed and be controlled by negative associations. I’s that exist only in the outer part of the centers are reactive and have little understanding. To journey inwards is to become aware of my atmosphere and also to become actively responsible for my internal states. I have to work to make this atmosphere hermetically sealed as Maurice Nicoll metaphorically puts it in the Gurdjieff Ouspensky Psychological Commentaries. When I’m able to seal my atmosphere (become teflon coated - another more modern metaphor) from the negative influences in the world, then it’s possible for me to enter the 3rd state. It’s also called creating moon in oneself. This is done by sensing the body and by particularly inhabiting the belly center. To do this I must take in air and impressions consciously and go to the inner parts of the centers. If we are negative, we cannot go there. I don’t take things in a negative way the deeper I go into the third state. My psychological blind spots with their reactive ignorance are stumbling blocks that distort unity and lands me back in the second state, Itoklanoz existence (2 centered existence of the intellectual emotional complex, disembodied and ungrounded). Once we start experiencing the third state, ( three centered awareness) Fulasnitamnian existence, as Gurdjieff calls it in “The Tales”, we can gain an inner memory of it to help us return there. If one doesn't ground oneself through sensation in the body, our existence stays polluted from imagination. This is highly offensive to those who are convinced of their own Awakened state of awareness and will often become emotionally negative in defending their own imaginary Awakened state. Truly Awakened people don't become emotionally negative. They don't take things in a negative way. They don't complain although they feel things more intensely than those in spiritual sleep. They understand what being in an identified state means and are objective in seeing it when it manifests within them and then are able to step back and address the identification, maybe or usually or sometimes, etc,,, It's simple but it's not. Being Awakened or fully Conscious means getting rid of most of our ideas of what being Awakened means. I started composing this last night. It is not aimed at anyone in particular. It is offered up for those who are able to aim it at themselves. We can't work on other people. One can only work on oneself. Find the inner quiet in the innermost part of ones own being. It doesn't happen automatic or mechanically. That's why we meditate. Finding the deeper part of the centers in oneself means having all of our attention collected. It's also called being in the Collected state. Being in a collected state requires 3 centered awareness. It's a state of Impartiality.
  22. 3-31-2019 39 Meeting Obstructions. On my way out the door,,,
  23. What I was trying to convey the first time I posted in December