Zigzag Idiot

I'm not selling anything. If I could, I would maybe charge rent or maybe take donations but I don't think thats allowed here. I would go to Patreon maybe If I were to try. I doubt that I could make anything off my wild imaginative conjectures, speculations, opinions, political commentary or any of this potential horseshit that I type out sporadically. If you don't want to read it. Don't read it. It's a mixed bag here in the Journal part of the forum. I enjoy reading a few Journals and there are a few I don't really pay much attention to. Some others I read every now and then. I've been an annoyance to some off and on and I wish it wasn't that way. To those I've offended I didn't intend to. With the exception of ardent Trump supporters but I really don't care about their opinions. I realize that's fairly arrogant but I'm trying to keep observing my arrogance when it crops up. What do you expect from an Idiot? I consider no one an enemy though. I've made some friends here as well. If I have offended anyone on anything other than my badmouthing Trump I will just say that I welcome PM anytime to discuss things and to hear other viewpoints. I continue to observe my moodiness and the emotional rollercoaster do whatever it does. My Diet is nearly just pure junk and I don't care. I don't exercise at all but instead work my ass of on practical projects and chores. Why act like some hamster on a wheel? That's boring. Some peole enjoy it though and that doesn't bother me at at. No doubt it helps a persons balance. My book reading has gone to shit in the last four years but that doesn't really bother me all that much either. Its likely that I'll really get into books every now and then but maybe not. There is so much on youtube these days. That's one reason. There are other reasons too. I haven't got near the "spiritual ego" that I used to have but it would be foolish of me to say it's completely vanished.

Life IS like a box of chocolates. Pondering the Hillary clip that Russell Brand put up and commented on. It's just difficult for me to believe that politically savvy people like the Clintons could do something so stupid as to release such a phony ass piece of political strategy the way it seemed to be. And the money tied to the defence industry still blatently churning turds and billions of $ with propaganda while waving the flag like good patriotic americans,,, WTF,,,, I guess the voting Mericans that are still voting are still just as dumb as a box of rocks. Both so called progressives and the remaining Trump chumps. Out of neccessity I need to once again ignore news and politics to free myself of that awful cynicism that crops up when pondering all this malarky. Mass Media is just poison,,,, and it makes me sad.

As a Zigzag Idiot I most often sometimes do the worst wrong thing exactly at the right wrong time. Then turn around and do the right thing at exactly the wrong time. I don't dare say all I know.

As a self proclaimed Idiot, cheeks blushed with shame, I will now cheapen myself to comment on possible presidential Political candidates in 2024 No No No No Hillary PLease don't do it No No No No Wrong Wrong Wrong Wrong Bad BAd Bad bad BadBAD No NO NO NO This would just get that criminal moron 5 pump chump TRump elected again No more Billary ,,,, No more President moron 5 pump chump Trump 3 am politics This hurts me more than it hurts you

Living wholeheartedly takes balance. Human beings are so unique and so what element is right for some might be wrong for others. If the timing of the elements in their life are off its because they are listening to others when they should be listening to their own inner truth. Then throw in the wild card of self deception along with being too identified. Just these factors alone can create a plutonium confusion resulting in producing a candidate for the lunatic asylum or i.e., a miserable daughter or son of a bitch. Elements are one thing but centers of energy are another. If it was said that a human being had 3 centers of energy or was a 3 brained being that might it make it a little more confusing. But to make it more confusing so that one has to cypher it out the way Jethro Bodine would say it would be just the way to make it just right to illustrate and begin the articulation of the importance of the ability to think for yourself but to not think too much because feeling from the heart and sensing of the body are needed to but it is of course not that simple as if it were just a pimple. That 1+1+1 is 3 and that 3+1+1=5 is almost right but almost wrong but it doesn't mean a damn thing if you don't know what the 1's represent and even if you did you would probobly never cypher it out anyway so going that route would mean that you may as well put your head down between your legs and if you're not a man or woman from nantucket you can neither kiss your ass goodbye either. This is a good example of the value of most of the forums value to oneself if you were to go by it alone. If you do nothing else than to watch Leo's videos all the time and nothing else you would get would be of more value than a wood chuck who could chuck wood and do it good as a wood chuck who could really chuck wood and do it real good. But if you also want to express yourself in YouTube videos would be good too because when you put yourself out there again and again it means that you are sincerely trying and you will get it so wrong sometimes and get it so right some other times and this alone will keep you in the game of cyphering it out enough that eventually you will get it just right because this message may not be the right message for everyone its just that this is what I felt when I encouraged someone that I liked and felt was so honest and sincere that I want to say that you are more loved by others than you will ever know or realize that I am not trying to flirt with you or bust a marriage or ask you to go riding in a horse drawn carriage. I'm just saying I hope you are enjoying life and truly learning how to forgive and love yourself to the degree as you now can see how much as everyone else out in the world is so selfish and self absorbed that they are not really willing to put themselves out there the way you and Leo do. But I get so obsessed with almost every pretty woman that I see or meet and that women in general are so fascinating to me that I don't understand whats wrong with being a troll or a stalker because thats what everyone does when they are infatuated with someone. That's also to say that I'm like the others that I do not know what is right for others and that maybe sometimes I do but I will never say I DO because marriage is an institution and who the hell wants to live in an institution when I know that I'm just a shmoo and a shmoe and will always be a Ho and a stroke-slut too and that's just why I have bad eyesight too just like that ole Mr. Magoo. But one should never impose their will on anybody and be a placeholder for others especially the one's who are the most innocent of all. Let them learn at their own pace. This is how the Astral beings sing their songs and sometimes its Just so right but it can also be oh so wrong if the timing is wrong but when they get it right or kinda pretty much right they say with just the right emphasis and timing so it ends the song just right they simply say HAAAAVE AAAA GREAAAT DAAYYYY and HAVE A GOOD TIME.

Wake up and get out of bed and then during the morning a little later wake up again and leap out of you're grave and stay awake through the day. By being deliberate in everything that you do regardless if you are just a shmuck or a shmoo. You will be wasting time if you go around seeking merit acting like you are a carrot part of the stick and carrot routine. You are just being a funky version of being mean. That's for those who it seems are always looking back over their shoulder trying to see the effects on others being wowed by a soldier or a boulder or a cock or a dick or hot chick that is making all the others back there smoulder or getting older or maybe getting hard as a rock because they where now flaming hot as a tamale and starting to fiddle with their stick or their lolly trigger which is getting swollen because they have just seen a sight and a light that was so godamn bright it made them feel like time had just stood still. Cause if you're always looking back and seeking merit you are a carrot like a hot chick or a rock hard dick but you are just a house proud town mouse who is always seeking a spouse. But if you are seeking a spouse that's okay whether you are straight or gay or mickey mouse who is also a house proud town mouse. Just do that sincerely in your own way. The point is going around seeking merit or being self condradulatory and others think are just maybe a little boring. It doesn't even matter if they are so impressed with your brand new dress or your handsome vest you might as well always be living solely in a nest or a cave and that maybe you are really not so daring or so brave as you think you are that's okay because none of us really are even if we have a brand new flashy car. Just put your hand to the plow and don't look back at what others think because thinking too much is a human condition called obsession. Don't think too much and live your life wholeheartedly and everything will then come to you.,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,

Chain of Being Mr/Ms God Station of Christ Human Beings with Eternal Souls Level of Astral Beings - Purgatory Human Beings Levels of Hell

Reaching Up "Finding Peace and Beauty in the World" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen I would like to share a poem with you that my father wrote when he was in his mid-20s. I believe the words are relevant to our times. Paradox Are not peace and beauty words to please the ears, Their reverberations echo through the years, The paradox of beauty and of peace is found In that they flourish underneath the sound Of strife and in the ugly things of life. Walter H. Rosen 1935 Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist. He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor. He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma. Dr. Rosen works with his patients primarily over the phone. When needed, face-to-face therapy sessions can be scheduled in his home in Magnet Cove, Arkansas. Because he does not accept insurance, his fee is only $60 for a full 50-minute hour of treatment. He can be reached anytime by email at drjrosen@ipa.net or by phone or text at 501-623-2050. If you like Dr. Rosen's Reaching Up column, you are free to share it with other people. There is no fee for this column. It's free. If you're not on the list to receive it, just send an email that says "Please Send Column" in the subject line. You will receive a new column each Sunday. If you are on the list and you don't want to receive Dr. Rosen's column anymore, just send him an email that says "Stop Column" in the subject line. Dr. Jim Rosen Clinical Psychologist Magnet Cove, Arkansas Ph: 501-623-2050 Email: drjrosen@ipa.net

Still haven't recovered my google account. Haven't bought another I-phone either. With no phone it's difficult to recover my google account. For me anyway,,. I'm grateful to have my Subaru going again. I always enjoy listening to Ram Dass. Listened to this one early this morning.- Was tickled earlier this evening remembering how Terence Mckenna described himself in his youth as a hell-on-wheels science fair competitor,,, I'm sitting here on my bed. Sleepy and a bit dull witted. Time to catch some zzzz's,,,

I suspect that Mercury may be in retrograde. Not only did my titty picture machine crash but my I-phone bit the dust as well. If you're a Hopeless Idiot with severe computer technological handicaps, it's quite difficult to accomplish anything. Especially when not only not having a phone plus the most Holy sacred titty picture machine crashes and some rats disable my Subaru by chewing into a wire harness which requires a time consuming dismantling of engine components to reach the forementioned wire harness and then patch it and then diagnose the problems caused by the chewed through wire which shorted out the camshaft sensor which had to be ordered and then after waiting a week for the wrong one to come in and then order another which takes two days longer and then after having replaced said part must then find the blown fuse and put all that shit back together,,,,,, and it finally starts!!! Then I can go into town and buy another titty picture machine (HP laptop) and having no phone to get a code to open my email I must create another email account on this new titty picture machine and I still have not gotten another I-phone or accessed my old email because I have no phone to get a code to get my old email opened up yet,,,,. That's why Dr. Rosen's weekly mini column wasn't posted a couple days ago. I can't say much about there being a moral to this story because I feel my own bullshit detector starting to go off when I begin to consider which I should not do because that is exactly what inner considering is but to instead ponder a bit while multitasking the with the task of being discerning which requires fulasnitamnian awareness and so I must go for now and catch up on some journal reading and to also say to others out there who are responsible while being practical with undertaking mundane tasks or repurposing something like an old van into a camper but that's not only all I have to say but the clock is ticking away so until later to those who are reading thank you so much for being yourself and by the wAAAyyy,, Have a great daAAAyyy,,,,

As an adolescent I was so green that I thought women never got horny. I just thought they were being kind or were maybe just trying to get approval because they had deep insecurities like myself. I was so shy and ashamed of masturbating in my early teens that I thought about committing suicide on more than one occasion when wondering if other people might know or find out that I did such a horrible thing. At 54, I’m a lot closer to my physical death now which changes how I feel about things and what I’m willing to express openly or somewhat openly. Masturbation turned out to be one of my strategies for distracting myself from an alcoholic indulgence early in life. It wasn’t enough though. I struggled with my alcoholism until I was 38 years old in 2005. I haven’t drank since and have lost all desire to do so. I never thought I would be free of the compulsion to drink and I am grateful for that. Despite contending with other addictions on my path. By the way, one other strategy for not drinking was to eat a good meal. The compulsion for drinking alcohol is much less on a full stomach. In AA years ago I learned the acronym - H.A.L T. It was said that if your an alcoholic, one must guard against getting hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Human beings evolved with having an outrageous sex drive which has made it possible for our species to survive all the diseases and catastrophes that has been there in our history. Many Religions shame people for their animal nature which effectively makes them more prone to manipulation. Sexually repressed people often get really twisted. Like all those Catholic priests who molest little boys. Or sexual repression results in chronic frustration and anger for others. The adrenal type in the endocrine typology, of which I am one, is the most oversexed of all types in our species which is in itself oversexed. Susan Zannos, in my opinion, author of one of the best books on this typology titled simply Human Types; Essence and the Enneagram made a statement concerning instinctive-moving adrenal type men. That they quite often have a certain ignoble habit or tendency,,,,. I’m not going to disparage the disciples of no fap. I know that there are many ways of living with many variables. The idea of sublimation of sexual energy makes sense to me but I could never pull it off. (No pun intended) I once thought in the fairly recent past that if masturbation had been somehow impossible throughout my life, I would probably have already murdered 3000 - 4000 people. So don’t let those forest fires of anger get out of control. Just do what olé Strokey the Bear cub says. Only you can prevent those forest fires of anger in this wilderness of life. Strokey the Bear cub is somewhat of a stroke-slut and a carefree Carebear and many would not even suspect it. It’s true that not everyone is going to heed his advice and that’s okay too. Have a good day.

Robert S. de Ropp wrote a Self help classic sometime around the late 1960’s called -The Master Game. Another book of his written after this I enjoyed was called - Self Completion. My favorite of his though was his autobiography called - The Warrior’s Way. de Ropp was born in the late 1800’s in a family of European nobility. Bavarian ,, I think. The last of the family wealth was spent by his father who was a rather cold character. de Ropp educated himself and was one of the first in his field of molecular biology,, I think. Some kind of biology anyway. The hardships of his youth carried over into his adult life where he became one of Ouspensky’s students in Great Britain. Eventually he moved to the states. One of the most memorable parts of his story occurred in Australia during his youth and where he came quite close to committing suicide. Later on in his family life, his first wife went insane and during his second marriage his wife gave birth to a boy who was severely mentally and physically handicapped. For a number of years while he lived in the New York area taking care of his son as compassionately as he could occupied most of his time and resources. He wasn’t a very warm and caring person and reading between the lines one can get a glimpse of some of his inner struggles. He eventually moved to California where he organized small Work groups or schools in the Fourth Way tradition. He succumbed to the force of the Ocean late in life as an old man kayaking off the pacific coast.

Plutonium confusion That was a term I heard Ken Wilber use in his Kosmic Consciousness interview with Tami Simon. It stuck with me because I felt I could closely relate with what K. Wilber was expressing. I experienced a flavor of this in the recent past but with the added quality, from my perspective anyway, of being divided against myself. Being divided against or within yourself is what guilt does. That’s one reason why it’s worse than useless. It’s actually more like a curse and a spell that perpetuates psychic entropy. In the New Testament Jesus said in Luke 14:26 - “If any man come to Me and hate not his father and mother, and wife and children, and brethren and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. This sums up the state of mind that must be cultivated for overcoming mainly the Superego in oneself. ( The internalized critic in one’s mind that is subtly disguised from its origins as usually one of our parents or caretakers telling us what we ought to do or how we should be. This is one of the ways this useless paralyzing phenomenon is instilled in us early in life and ironic and paradoxically blocks from us our own awakened conscience. When the Quoted scripture says - “ yea, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.” - In my thinking that is the description of our life while under the influence of our childhood conditioning or cultivated conscience. The group-think of the collective ego,, Our inner barometer is not reading true with cultivated conscience but only after we have contacted that innermost place in us where awakened conscience comes from. Conscience not Consciousness. We are only awakened or have contacted higher consciousness when we see the uselessness of guilt and experience awakened conscience. Remorse of course ?is what should be there if you’re kind of a square or kind of a shmoo or kind of a shmoe or somewhat of a ho. Not a psychopath though who never feels guilt or feels remorse. That is of course a true lunatic who is like a cosmic dog tick sucking the lifeblood energy called chi out of everyone else. The archetypal egomaniac. I ended this rap not rhyming at all because it didn’t fit and so it might stick inside you’re head because you’re not dead or Zed or Sally or Hitler or Fred. You’re just a unique shmuck or maybe a shmoo or maybe a shmoe and kind of a ho. You are innocent you must see and not a chicken of the deep blue sea. But to not be a chicken, you must find the courage to truly think for yourself not like anyone else but paradoxically like everyone else when they have all awakened.

I haven’t added much to my ambitious project of redefining insanity through the United States Judicial system. I’ll probably get fired up about it in a matter of time. I think it’s something very worthwhile to ponder about. I joined Martin Butlers Patreon Channel a couple of months ago. He has said a number of things I just can’t agree with. There’s no more hero worship there with him I’m pretty sure. A couple of times I’ve almost cancelled and told him what an arrogant prick I thought he was. Then he’ll mention something that really makes me stop and think. He’s pretty real and down to earth. I don’t really jive with his cynicism though. He releases quite a bit of material on Patreon. Sometimes I can come across as arrogant. Leo has confessed his arrogance or exhibiting that trait in the perception of others at times. I respect his periodic displays of humility. He seems more idealistic than M. Butler though and it’s there that I side with Butler. He says things like just “be a loser,,,” or “don’t try,,,” I like that. Im not saying that my critique of either is accurate though. Most all of us are different when we meet in person. Self improvement can become material used for building more ego structures and dissociating from what’s most real. This can easily stand in the way of honest self observation and pondering one’s inevitable death of the physical body. I’ve used up all my allotted space for attachments on actualized.org.. One thing I must do here is to start using a snipping tool and replacing my attachments with those that don’t use up so much space. That’s why I haven’t added any of my I CHING readings in the last couple of months. I’m a technology retard. I need to buckle down and make some progress with freeing up space,,,

Reaching Up "Depression Serves A Purpose" by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2022 Dr. Jim Rosen When you get depressed, you pull into yourself. You don’t want to be with people; you don't want to do things that normally give you pleasure. You experience a lack of energy and emotion. Ordinary daily activities become major chores. It's difficult to concentrate and focus your attention. It's as if your body and mind are shutting down for a while. But why? What purpose does it serve? Like a hunger, depression signals the need for emotional food. You get depressed because you have unmet emotional needs. Whatever you’ve been doing, it hasn't satisfied those needs. Your depressive withdrawal from the outside world is your mind’s way of getting you to look inward. Mentally, it places a mirror in front of you and asks you to examine yourself. What do you really need and what will it take to get there? So you can see that if you're willing to make a few changes, your depression is actually very treatable. Dr. Jim Rosen is a PhD Clinical Psychologist. He is an experienced psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and couples counselor. He offers treatment for anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, assertiveness training, anger control, stress management, and overcoming the effects of sexual, physical, and emotional trauma. Dr. Rosen works with his patients primarily over the phone. When needed, face-to-face therapy sessions can be scheduled in his home in Magnet Cove, Arkansas. Because he does not accept insurance, his fee is only $60 for a full 50-minute hour of treatment. He can be reached anytime by email at drjrosen@ipa.netor by phone or text at 501-623-2050.

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@Space Lizard You have a valid point that in my own words would be how this western individualism has snowballed into the piggish materialism and shallow mindedness that it has. Valid point also about McKenna and his 2012 Time wave zero theory. Seems that one didn’t pan out though. Further down the road I doubt that hindsight will change much about 2012. ,,,? As you probably know he died around 2000. He’s a great orator who definitely thought outside of the box. Maybe he does gets a little windy at times and stretches the truth. Having close peers like Ralph Abraham and Rupert Sheldrake among many others should add some to his credibility. For many, he’s fun to listen too. His nasally voice probably annoys just as many though.