Zigzag Idiot

Nature gives the lower chakras to us. We have to open the 4th (heart) chakra through our own efforts. The fifth chakra is usually too open and so we usually have to make efforts to close it up some. This gives finer energy that allows the sixth chakra to open up. Third eye begins to open with episodes of higher intuition (clairvoyance) experienced. The laundry still has to be done. We still shit, piss, cough, sneeze, cum, laugh or feel sad. We feel the intensity of things even more than before the fourth becomes opened. I can only give hearsay about the 7th chakra. I hope to report back about it before my body konks out. IME., Actualization doesn't require study of the chakras. Not the words about them. Awakened Conscience makes us our own boss. This can't happen if we only live in the lower chakras, when the body is the boss. The permanent witness is Awake when we are able to boss our Automaton around and make it sit still and be open in meditation. Meditation is that important. If you can't boss your Automaton around at least a little bit towards this particular practice then it's just running around calling the shots and we believe the excuses given by the friend and ally of our lower energies, the ego.

When people wake up, they have no startle response. When the body is relaxed and the mind is quiet and present, we don't startle. There is no startle response. The startle response only appears in contracted beings.

A cleansed heart is an excellent organ of perception. Without judging, It discerns the suffering that lies behind those who feed on sour grapes and sour notes.

5-22-2019 50 The Ting. Line 4 18. Recognizing and Correcting the Causes of Decay The council given in the changing line 4 of hexagram 50 paraphrased in part is about betraying my inner truth. When I do not say the 'inner no' to the transgression by another or to the servility of my own ego, in wanting to be liked, which soils my own integrity. Indulgence in self blame only leads me further astray. Fouling my inner integrity is not an irreparable mistake if I'm fully willing to see the mistake and its consequences. Self blame only cripples one more in the same way a grandiose refusal to admit ones own mistakes. This seems to close to the idea of awareness itself being curative.

I see an added layer of complexity. Women chase men for a wider variety of reasons than men chase women. Personally, I'm ok with some of it.

@DrewNows I guess maybe true but through a technicality. ??

I can see how Divine protection could work through synchronicities. Up into my early 30's I was a remarkably successful drunk driver. Although culturally it's not an appreciated trait. I was an excellent drunk driver. I had to have been an alcoholic in my previous lives. I thank the Universe that I no longer crave alcohol.

What it means to come home. If our attention is scattered. We're not at home. if the body isn't relaxed . We're not at home Sometimes the lights are on but nobody is home. It feels good to be at home. ??‍?

5-21-2019 45. Gathering Together Line 2 31 Influence Council given from changing line 2 - ""Letting oneself be drawn" refers to allowing the correct way to show itself by responding only, rather than to take the initiative. By responding to what our inner senses tell us in relation to the situation of the moment, we remain blameless. In this circumstance we restrict ourselves to only what we feel is correct for us. We never tell others what they should do or how they should feel; thus we do not lose our Cosmic protection."

@lostmedstudent A lot of people find the Enneagram of personality helpful to work with. By taking the passion of the type and integrating, it can transform into the virtue. Type 5 the Observer, sometimes called the Investigator or Sage is associated with the passion of avarice (greed). When this is worked with consciously has the possibility of transforming into Generosity. Doing a google search on Enneagram of personality will give plenty of resources because of its popularity over the last few years. The type 5's I've known have often been more secure in life financially because of their natural frugality.

Leo's words say a lot but towards the end, the tears that well up speak additional volumes because they're tears produced by a full heart.

5-20-2019 56. The Wanderer. Line 2 50. The Ting "in its Cosmic meaning, the Ting is an image of the Cosmic Consciousness as a vessel containing the nourishment for all things that exist." -- from the text. You're not really listening or hearing this song unless the volume is starting to rattle glass and loosen Sheetrock. Pop culture was out of favor with me in the early to mid 1990's. That's one reason I didn't really discover Kurt Cobain until about 6-8 years after his death. I really relate to him because he's a moving Centered Mars essence type. He was a real embodiment of the adrenal type.

What you said reminded me of one my favorite quotes from Cynthia Bourgealts book “The repetitive motion of finding oneself through Identification (even true and worthy descriptions) keeps the being energy just below the critical velocity needed to escape the gravitational field of narrative selfhood.”

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At the drop of a hat, my inner child can turn into a mean little shit.

@tsuki Good! Cut loose when the Spirit moves you. Besides what I mentioned above in helping lately to create a mental traffic jam, the idea of practicing unconditional love has also been bugging me. Particularly as it's concerned with others in ones life and their painbody. Echart Tolle has articulated well how painbodies are especially devilish in relation to those closest to us. Having a close relative or a friend who has an active painbody means that everything they know and also intuitively know about others will be utilized by their painbody in its business of being unhappy and picking fights. There is a genius quality in provoking others in sneaky ways when this is the case. Most of us know all too well the suffering caused by those closest to us. Another idea to bring in here is that when under the spell of the painbody, people are completely asleep. They may be walking around and interacting successfully with the world but if they are in the game of blaming and finding fault with others or framing themseves as a victim of some kind. They're walking around spiritually asleep or spiritually dead. In other words they are not even responsible because they don't realize what they are doing. What happens when people like this learn that you proclaim unconditional Love as a standard to live by? Their painbodies become as effective as any skilled, ambulance chasing dirty lawyer, in twisting your words to use against you. The trouble is when you proclaim unconditional love as a personal standard to try and live by. If you do,,, this is what you invite. At the same time, you can't blame them. Not when you understand spiritual sleep. So my idea is that the more loving thing one can do is to hold that standard but not tell it to the world. Follow the path of the sly man and not arm others painbody with a weapon to use against the well intentioned in the form of a lofty idea.

A while back there was an insight/joke here on the Journal forum about spongebob being hung up spending 3 hours writing the word 'the'. I've had a bad case of it lately. I thought writing about it might help me get past it. One reason for it is an avalanche of ideas coming together. The ingredients here are - the idea of shadow work, forgiveness and love as a focal point in practice, kenosis (letting go), metanoia (reversal), transformation in rebirth, unveiling of essential qualities, 3 Centered Awareness as the result of alchemy.

5-18-2019 32 Duration Line 2 62 Preponderance of the Small 5-19-2019 14. Possession in Great Measure. Lines 2 and 6 43. Resoluteness/Breakthrough A part of this morning's reading and Its council is about letting go of ego emotions such as grief, guilt, blame, fear, doubt and hatred. " Of all these emotions, it is most important to get rid of guilt, because guilt keeps a person caught in a vicious circle of self- blame."

On this last YouTube, the insights you gave about looking at the clock during meditation was interesting and helpful. It's something that's been discussed a little by Journalers here in the recent past. I pasted the video since I mentioned it in case someone wanted to view it.

Just finished watching. Woo Woo doesn't spook me off. It just goes into the 'what if' category. Especially when it comes from someone who has some degree of credibility like Him. I found his mention of 5d Reality very interesting along with the idea of ascension being a metaphor for activation of a higher body and disappearance of the ego. I forget the term he used for higher body.

I understand Matt Kahn better now. I get him. Yesterday was a rich experience. To be lighthearted is key in many ways. To know means to know all. Not to know all means not to know. In order to know all, it is only necessary to know a little. But, in order to know this little, it is first necessary to know pretty much. (Gurdjieff)

@Anderz I arrived at dry fasting intuitively in 2015. Taken as an exercise in conscious suffering, my body has never transformed more quickly. Ocke deBoer uses the phrase -- bossing the Automaton around -- in describing carrying out practices of discipline. Utilizing this phrase has a distinct effect of clarifying and reinforcing my intentions. It re-enforces the concept that I'm am not the body. The ability to boss the Automaton around seems to strengthen witnessing presence. At a certain threshold in doing any fast but especially a dry fast, I experience an inflow of new subtle energy that I take to be chi or Prana. It's then that I feel my body is energized by this new, finer energy. Intuitively I feel it's this life force or chi that feeds not only my Automaton but my very being. This kind of Conscious suffering is simple but not easy. I draw a line between bossing the Automaton around and bullying myself. The former feels like discipline/love and the latter feels more like unloving masochism. It feels like the Witness can feed on Impartial Love/Chi but requires a balancing act of sorts.This balancing act is a whole subject unto itself. Ive been a fan of Nassim Haramein for a few years. I'm enjoying your Journal!

What he says really doesn't contradict this. Most of his quotes I pasted are after 47:00. I once had a theory God often used kids and old people in their 'second childhood' as instruments to 'mess' with us when it was needed in realtime.

@d0ornokey I feel the same way and have subscribed to his YouTube but for now I'm not going to allow myself to think about such an ambitious undertaking in using the excuse I'm a stones throw from being a wore out old man. Good luck ttom,,, give it hell!! ?‍♂️?

"All is one, now go fuck yourself" Make peace with your inner child "I'm here to resolve the madness" "I was brought here to free you from the shit that doesn't work." Quotes above from Matt Kahn in this video making an argument AGAINST shadow work. @Wisebaxter Thank you for sending this video link to me last night. Metanoia = reversal "Break on through to the other side" - more Jim Morrison ?