Zigzag Idiot

@flowboy I'ts good that you still journal especially when things aren't going well. I agree with what Tsuki shared. (For some reason the picture creeps me out a little though. ?‍♂️ I must have a bit of a shadow issue here.Just sayin.) If we become overtaken and consumed with self criticism, it's possible to get lost and flounder in a state of deficiency for a long time. Self acceptance and self love are crucial. Leo has Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's book Flow on the reading list. I could do to read it again. Jonathon Zap wrote an article called dealing with psychic entropy a few years ago and references Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his article. He talks about negative feedback loops. His practices of focusing attention in numbers games didn't do anything for me but he touches on other things I found value in. For a time I practiced drawing his Oracle cards on his website -- its free and links with some of his writing. https://zaporacle.com/card/dealing-with-psychic-entropy-2/ Stay strong in letting go of judgements ?

@tsuki You're describing synchronicity @7:00 . (Video -- Projections) When we see into someone's blindspot and then give them the news or "the medicine" Their reaction is fear based. I've been on each end of this situation. Some argue that telling people directly will create a block which makes it even more difficult for them to get past. The above was left in my browser from last night in an unfinished, unsent reply. What I just heard in the last video sounds like when I have half realized projections that come to light when seen in and communicated about with others. This becomes complicated at times for me because often new realizations about my shadow often reveal a small cluster of issues around this new insight. The other person in whom the phenomena was observed may or may not have the other issues in the cluster. If I'm not careful, I'll project one of the peripheral issues from this cluster onto the one I'm communicating with, when it might not be an issue for them although we may share the central issue of one particular shadow projection coming to light and being healed. I have the Inception DVD and have watched it at least 15 times. It's been a while,,, I could watch it again,,,,

Reminds me of a definition of Soul that I like -- "A field of impressionability"

6-4-2019 26. The Taming Power of the Great Lines 3 and 4 38. Separating/Opposition

In an evolutionary sense, we're in a tight spot. We're out of control. With our delicate human bodies that don't stand up to nature like other animals, nature made us oversexed for survival as a species. Some of us can't sit still. If we had tails we could dissipate the extra chi energy naturally like cats and dogs. Instead, the chi energy accumulates and circulates, feeds and pollutes the newly developed neocortex and frontal lobes with imagination resulting in the subjectivity of our spiritual sleep. I don't know if this is true. I just made it up, partly. It's partly true anyhow.

@tsuki In addition to cynical I should have used the word sarcastic to describe my old persistent negative mindset that would never go away. Hyperbole has always flowed naturally for me thanks in part to my grandmother having this tendency which was a part of my conditioning. I observed Schadenfreude in myself a long time before I was able to admit it. It's bizzare to have this towards family members and even people I genuinely liked being around. @Bill W I always enjoy reading your thoughts on different topics.

In a sense I'm a raging hypocrite. Through Inquiry, I can no longer run from it. This helps me to see the nothingness of my personality. Feeling deeply this nothingness liberates me, surprisingly.

The endocrine based Typology is from Gurdjieff or rather it is slowly being developed and articulated by students of his work. It is based on the inner flow of the Enneagram and is the flavor of our individual essence as opposed the Enneagram of personality which is found on the outside of the Enneagram. So in the Enneagram there are 2 different typologies. One represents our essence and its fixture to instinctive nature which doesn't change and then the personality types based partly on conditioning and the false part of ourselves which can be altered with efforts. Your right in that there is little to be found about endocrine-body-essence Typology. Add another book or two, what I,ve put in the Typology Discussions thread probably amounts to 50% of all published information on this specific Typology. It does have parallels to other body typologies like Dr. William H. Sheldons ectomorpgh, mesomorph, endomorph divisions and types. Learning Sheldons types actually helps to learn and understand the endocrine Typology. Ive seen coorelations between Astrology types and Enneagram personality types. Like libra often being a Perfectionist/anger type one or seeing Cancer Astrology type people commonly being a type Four Tragic Romantic as Helen Palmer calls them who suffer from the passion of envy. What's very interesting to me is the idea of the end result in working on the passions, which steer our mechanicalness, transforms into Virtues of a healed false personality. My cowardness becomes courage. Anger transforms into Serenity. Envy into Equanimity. Lust into Innocence. Etc.,,, The distortedness of false personality/ego transforms into embodied Virtues of a Personal Essence sometimes referred to as the Pearl beyond Price. Oscar Ichazo and Claudio Naranjo are considered by some to have about equal status with Gurdjieff concerning Enneagram. Susan Zannos book is one of the best in my view. She is from the Gurdjieff lineage through the Robert Burton group which has been tarnished by some pathologies that manifested in that group in years past. Joel Friedlander put out a book the same time as Susan's which is also a good one but not quite as detailed. Rodney Collins is someone else as well who has written a good deal on body types in his comprehensive book The Theory of Celestial Influence. On second thought, this book is probably the most comprehensive. It intimidates me and I've only picked around in it despite having it sit around for the last 10 years.

Essence as translated through endocrine type. The mixed essence qualities compliment each other. In your case it occurred to me that the Aries in your birth chart may fulfill assertive qualities and complement your social side. I like your Essence link.? Most of my Gurdjieff is funneled through or tweaked by Almaas in some way. Ive shared this quote in the Typology Discusions Topic thread but it specifically applies to this conversation. When we are able to recognize types and predict the characteristic reactions, we find that this information is liberating, both as it applies to ourselves and as it helps us to understand others. Once we know that virtually all limitations, weakness and shortcomings are not things for which we can be blamed, most of us feel the lifting of guilt that we have carried for most of our lives. If we are Lunars we cannot be outgoing and emotionally demonstrative, no matter how much others urge us to be and how much we may want to please them. If we are Saturns we cannot stop trying to control others--- always for their own good--- no matter how strenuously they object. If we are Venusians we cannot be aggressively ambitious no matter how much our mothers want us to be and how much we may love our mothers. If we are an emotionally centered mercurial and find it impossible to engage in repetitive tasks day after day, word processing in an isolated cubicle, or putting shingles on roofs, then we should begin to understand how hard it is for a moving centered Martial to experience his own emotions, much less express them effectively. ,,,,, Note: To learn this system, the different elements need to be held lightly.

@now is forever @Shin @DrewNows StormTrooper summertime lunch replacement drink. 6-8 ounces of water 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar 1 tablespoon of lemon juice. 1 tea spoon of honey 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon Adjust any ingredient as desired

6-3-2019 2 Nature From the text - Recieving this Hexagram is meant, first of all, to teach a person what Nature is, and that he can relate to it correctly only when he recognizes that he is equal part in it. Second, it is meant to make him aware that all his mistaken ideas about Nature affect it adversely, causing it to operate in distorted ways. Receiving this Hexagram is also meant to make him aware that he has a responsibility to relate to Nature with sensitivity and feeling. Third, it informs him that he, like all other expressions of Nature, is dependent on his connection with the Cosmos for guidance. Spells connected with this Hexagram are created by seed phrases and images having to do with seeing the human role as the creator of order in Nature. Offshoots of this view see human nature as divided into a lower and higher nature, with human animal nature being demonized. The demonizing of humans' animal nature, and the guilt associated with it, create the perversions that lead to many human criminal acts. Also, describing Nature as wild and threatening creates a perverted relationship between humans and other animals. Other spells are created by viewing Naure as a system of mechanics, devoid of consciousness and feeling. Note- This makes sense to me in regard to not expressing negative emotions, which distorts ones' experience of Nature and perpetuates fear of some kind. Psychological projection would seem to apply here as well. Seeing things through a distorted filter based on childhood conditioning distorts Unity. About childhood conditioning, I've noticed an initial impulse of blaming the parents. This turns upside down when realized that the parents are even in a more unfortunate position. They too were conditioned and have a greater vested interest in time spent/wasted appeasing the collective ego's requirements.

@flowboy You can do this! Good honest, objective self observation! I used the 3 minute rule a lot in the first few days in quitting smoking. Primarily when a strong craving to smoke came about to not look beyond the next three minutes and to just stay with the breath for the next 60 seconds x3. Not to get overwhelmed by looking into the future and also knowing that life can be experienced again one day with zero craving for nicotine. Craving subsides.

"It is what it is,,,,,,,,, even if it's not helpful" - That describes both essence and personality. Lunar willfulness and ability to focus offset by Venusian relaxed openness. We can change things about the personality but not about essence. Morris is willing to hold space for Doyle and tells him "you're just showing your true Aries color now". To which Doyle replies, "Stay out of my godamn face you fuckin buzzard." To endure the unpleasant manifestations of others is said to be one thing which grows essence the most. A form of 'turning the other cheek. Aries Personality aspects can be worked with. Im not associating you with Doyle but Just giving an example of a source which would seem to effect personality traits in addition to conditioning from parents. Changeable things. Ive struggled with cynicism for a long time. My of sense of humor for many years was really polluted with cynicism. If that names what you were referring to in part. All cynicism is tinged with at least a little bit of negativity. I'm not completly free of it but I realized that cynicism dirties my inner world. From Wikipedia Schadenfreude (/ˈʃɑːdənfrɔɪdə/; German: [ˈʃaːdn̩ˌfʁɔʏ̯də] (listen); lit. 'harm-joy') is the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another. Schadenfreude is a complex emotion, where rather than feeling sympathy towards someone's misfortune, schadenfreude evokes joyful feelings that take pleasure from watching someone fail. This emotion is displayed more in children than adults; however, adults also experience schadenfreude, but they are just better at concealing their expressions.[1] In my own work on cynicism and sources of unconscious negativity I uncovered Schadenfreude in myself at deeper more subtle layers after having observed it before in some of my everyday 'I's'. It was a painful thing to observe in myself.

Dont worry, I have a pronoun use permit thats good for 14 more years. I've been pondering on the homework some all week. Have had a few ideas,,, a couple of them turned inside out.

? It's a still shot taken out of a short piece of an old 8mm home movie. It shows me sitting in front of my father as we ride up the hill. Then he gets off the horse and just leaves me up on it by myself. I'll have to find a way to share some time. ?

@mandyjw I agree. They're hilarious notions. The awful state of mind I was enduring at the time was benifitted by the the absurdity of doing these. For those who don't have the luxury of time to devote, there are less time consuming ones. All but one of these practices came out of this book.

6-2-2019 41. Decreasing. Line 1 4 Youthful Folly

In parables, water is often a symbol for Truth. In Alchemy, water represents feeling. ( There are differing interpretations about this one in Alchemy)

What is this other than ridicule and pettiness on your part. There is no place for this here. SQAAD is sincere. kag101, you are not.

@DrewNows There's an allegory in Shamanism about an entity referred to by different names - the indescribable force, the Eagle or the big bird in the sky which feeds on our awareness/consciousness. In the allegory it is said that when we begin to split our attention and observe ourselves (Witness consciousness) , that this makes our awareness unpalatable to the Eagle and afterward being left alone by this great force our awareness then begins to accumulate which has the effect of producing realizations never before experienced. This is what I relate Martin Butlers reference to someone else eating our egg. The egg is one's shadow ( personality/life experience) which when digested by ourselves causes one's frame of reference to grow in scope. Regarding how Leo and Gurdjieff resonate with me personally-- The things I began listing about the Work translated and given through Gurdjieff are ideas which through personal verification has become very meaningful ideas to me. Leo refers to Ouspensky more than Gurdjieff but it's all pretty much the same Teaching. I haven't read a lot of Ralston and others but I see Leo taking bits here and there from different people/traditions which fit together which also gives it the taste of Ken Wilber's integral approach. I'm probably still short changing you on how I resonate personally with each. Maybe later I'll be able to better elaborate.

It's been rich for me. The ideas of being asleep through identification ,, individuals and the culture multiplicity of personality -- "man is Legion" from the scriptures Were two natured beings -- Essence which is real and personality which is false Theres a lot more. I could go on. It s stressed in the Teaching that if we can't verify things for ourselves,, it is of no use. The following is a favorite of mine in how it talks about a major theme.

@DrewNows Cool. Glad to hear. I've really enjoyed the short ones Masters of Wisdom has put out lately. A lot of this stuff meshes easily with what Leo teaches. Im looking to resolve a possible disparity between Leo's Teaching and Gurdjieff about having a soul and eternal life. Gurdjieff says we're born with half Souls and if we don't develop/finish ,, we loose our chance. Actually 7 reincarnations I think it is. A lot of the seeming disparity may just be semetics.

8:00 minutes

LOGION 42 - Come into being as you pass away LOGION 70

Developing Will To work on ones own capacity to do something just for the hell of it. To not need a reason and logic or emotion for initiating an act. This has been a practice of mine in the past coming from neoshamanic approach. They're called "not doing" exercises. In addition to helping develop Will, most of these practices also attack self importance. Each time you arrive home walk around the house three times before you enter. Spend a lot of time creating a piece of art. Destroy it as soon as it's finished. Load all your dishes, plates, bowls, glasses into the car and take them for a Sunday drive. Maybe even deliver a historical narrative concerning local landmarks as you drive past. It's no small feat to get everyone situated to where there are no rattles and everyone is secure. Intentionally say something stupid and shallow in a group of people. Role play an ignorant fool,,, Spend the first half of the day agreeing with everyone and the second half the day disagreeing with everyone.