Zigzag Idiot

Advice given to Gurdjieff from his Grandmother. From Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson. “Eldest of my grandsons! Listen and always remember my strict injunction to you: In life never do as others do.” Having said this, she gazed at the bridge of my nose and evidently noticing my perplexity and my obscure understanding of what she had said, added somewhat angrily and imposingly: “Either do nothing—just go to school—or do something nobody else does.” I interpret this simply as- do your own thinking and not follow the group think of the collective ego.

I play this whenever I find myself in the throes of self pity.

Take everything here with a grain of salt,

I don’t drink so I’ll eat the bread instead of letting it go to waste.

I don’t know whether to shit or wind my watch or to take a flying fuck in a rolling donut. This is at the present moment. I’m misunderstood by people I care about.

Gurdjieff wrote about the transalpanian perturbation that coincides with the Younger dryas event that is now being referred to in today’s archeological findings. Gurdjieff wrote that that the Atlantean civilization was basically destroyed by the transalpanian perturbation but that a number of these beings were able to make it to mid Africa and eventually to Egypt where they oversaw the construction of the sphinx and other megalithic monuments. After the last of that tribe died out the Egyptians reverted back to being a bunch of complete dumb-asses again having lost the ones that were good influences. Read all about this in Beelzebub’s Tales to his Grandson if you’re masochistic enough to attempt reading the damn thing. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Younger_Dryas This song always reminded me of Joe Pesci asking if anyone wanted a leg or a wing in the movie Goodfellas. It was something like that,,, Becky Ann was an astral being who was floating above my bed one night with her uncle named Carl James Parker. It disturbed the hell out of me when I observed them literally eating the flesh off each other’s face and gradually disappearing. As they were eating I asked if I could maybe have a leg to chew on. I had had experiences with Becky Ann in the past as an astral being and also Carl James who I didn’t really care for. My irreverent request was received with a burst of howling laughter. It was indicated that Becky Ann , a 24 year old with Dwarfism and had died from mouth cancer in the fairly recent past. She constantly lied to me though also. Once saying that she was somewhere in a hospital on life support and in a coma. She once scolded me and told me to never take a vow about anything unless I was absolutely sincere about doing so. She was so sweet and also funny. My eyes tear up now thinking of her. I’m sure this story will really bolster my credibility,,,,

It is simple then becomes complicated Understanding happens when it becomes simple again Goddamn I’ve always hated most of Donovan’s music and here I am posting this cringy song. I had the very real experience of the -simple - complicated - simple- process of understanding as an adolescent. It was a realization.

If something is self evident. It speaks for itself most clearly when neurosis and stuff are not included. This is the nature of Being. The activity of the mind distorts the simple experience of being or non-conceptual awareness. Irreverence can be included to make understanding more difficult only to make the difficulty less so because of the light heartedness added to the mixture, Similar to the aggravated chicken pecker syndrome which I've written about in the past to that of scapegoating present in our world today is spoken of below in this YouTube podcast.

I am a passionate deadpan man. Beware: Infatuation is an elixir. It’s wonderful intoxication leads to an Institution called marriage. Who wants to live in an institution? And one that is also of patriarchical dominance. Be careful. Have fun!

Addiction and shaking hands with the Devil Sounds dramatic. It is and it's not. I interact in my day to day world with people who are straight laced and square yet their emotional volatility can be intimidating while their opinions are close minded and sometimes harsh. I allowed myself to become a habitual user of methamphetamine and find myself looked down upon by the materialist and conventional minded. Years ago I would have viewed someone like myself as so full of self deception that my judgements would have gave them near zero credibility. The intensity of sensation from methamphetamine intravenously injected is nearly beyond description. This statement could be seen as glorification. The other side of the coin is a reduced level of mental acuity and physical coordination as well as an increase in clumsiness. this increases with degree of use. Methamphetamine users are about on the lowest rung of the ladder. Heroin users look down their noses at meth-heads,,,,, but that's not really an across the board accurate statement. I really didn't want to give this confession for a number of reasons. It's going to cost me in terms of credibility. But looking at it in those kind of terms I find myself shaking hands with the Devil{ego/self image} concerned with looking good by the collective ego and it's approval. I have experiences to discuss that concern drug induced schizophrenic psychosis. I do not recommend that others experiment with this drug. Unlike psychedelics, methamphetamine is a highly addictive narcotic. A friend and fellow addict who grew up in foster care. Someone I met when I first started using made a distinction. He said "I'm not just an addict. I'm a dope fiend and that's someone who will steal from others in order to support my addiction". There's a story I may continue here later if I can do so without betraying a certain kind of trust or causing harm among a few individuals who I consider friends but have caused me some distress. There are a couple of Actualized forum members that I outed myself to in the past about my habit in order to hold to some semblance of being authentic. I appreciate that they allowed me this trust without making me feeling judged. Can someone like me even be taken serious as an someone working on actualization of Being/Presence. I realize it's not often put that way. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-actualization https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/actualization I wish everyone well,,,,

I’ve shared this before on other threads. I do so again because it relates so much to the current conversation.

Seeking out a mate is instinctive and socially driven naturally creating a competition among us. It also seems the norm that the collective ego sets the rules and runs the show. Especially for all worldviews in the Spiral Dynamics first tier. For those with no understanding of Spiral Dynamics may make much of what I opine on make little sense or create understanding. That in itself sounds like an arrogant statement. My statements made above may have also sounded self congratulatory or for others somewhat cringeworthy. For the most part you're right about masturbation being perceived as a failure. For a good number of folks it's definitely not something to discuss openly. Imo, guilt and shame from far back into our history spread by dogmatic religions. The early Roman government responsible for much of it. They incorporated many pagan ideas and holidays into the make-up of early Christianity. Also the Council of Nicea with all of its contributions, interpretations and editing of the Bible. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea I see little difference between Fundamentalist Muslims and fundamentalist Christians. This applies as well with some sects of Hinduism and Buddhism. Maybe Pure land Buddhism,,,,? Contemplative Christianity, Zen and maybe Tibetan Buddhism, and Sufism I view differently, I'm really ignorant of so many sects of different religions and philosophies. How I've condensed my views here has also extremely simplified and left out more than was said probably. I don't mean to pick on Catholicism but it's pretty plainly documented that it's influence on Christianity had more interest in how to manipulate, influence and control populations under it's control. I recommend https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/223887.The_Jesus_Mysteries for those interested. How to control people? Divide them against themselves with shame and guilt. They take an instinctive biological function and create badness around it. Masturbation can appear rather earthy and crude and something not to be displayed in public. In my understanding porn did more to grow the internet than anything else. https://www.quora.com/How-has-pornography-driven-the-development-and-utilization-of-the-Internet That says a lot in how oversexed we are as a species. The earth is becoming overpopulated anyhow. Not everyone is meant to have children. Philosopher Arnold Keyserling in a talk once referred to his penis as "that toy I have down here between my legs that God gave me". This quote from memory so it may be more of a paraphrasing. In many cultures and social circles I fall into the category of being a complete loser. I don't rely on my Culture for approval. This statement should counter anything I have expressed as being boastful. Although by some there might be an interpretation of some kind of spiritual egotism. To be honest I still observe myself displaying a bit of spiritual egotism at times. It was much more pronounced 20 years ago. This may seem offensive to many but being a Zen Devil (having spiritual egotism) is just a part of attaining any kind of ,,, I'll say "waking up" to higher levels of consciousness and understanding. I try to self observe with brutal honesty and sit with the uncomfortableness that may be there. Leo's 3 part series on self deception is gold. The way out of all these dilemmas? Actualization! Which to me includes the huge categories of psychological integration and individuation to discount the notion of guilt and replace it with the experience of remorse for whenever we violate our own awakened conscience. I can be really opinioned but try to remain open to new ways of understanding. I often have trouble book marking. Below I'm pasting a recent post from my journal on my understanding of conscience. Acquired conscience vs. Awakened conscience I'm full of bullshit sometimes and I'm okay with that. Because it doesn't matter, If I wasn't okay with my periodic bullshit ways. I would be divided against myself. I try not to dismiss or justify my errors but sometimes I probably do. When I err and it causes someone else offence or hardship I try to sit with it and cook. Remorse of conscience informs me and does so properly. The self sustained stain of guilt is a perpetual vicious circle. It's a worthless burden put on mankind by dogmatic religions. It's my experience that guilt blocks the awakening of conscience. So self forgiveness is a necessity and also to see what you don't like in others is also within oneself most often. When it's noticed. Everything is cancelled out. To borrow a line from Rob Brezney. "My morality is always on the verge of collapsing". My automaton or animal is an absolute slut. Guilt is often mixed with acquired conscience. Acquired conscience changes over time and is different between different cultures. This is our conditioning and super ego. Our internalized critic that doesn't come from our inner self but rather an auto-pilot critic from childhood conditioning. We should show kindness towards our elders because even though they had a hand in our conditioning; they've carried this burden longer than us younger folk. Awakened conscience is different and is the same in all awakened people. The 'language of the smile' is a cousin to awakened conscience. Awakened conscience is the intelligence of the Cosmos. It's the golden rule. Do unto others as you would want to be treated. We're all fools and a variety of them as well. A ship of fools is my so called "I". Make yourself vulnerable and Insecure people will mock you sometimes. This can grow you. Forgive yourself as needed. If anyone does you wrong and makes you angry. Forgive them so you won't hate yourself. Over and out. See you later alligator,,,

Personally I found out that quickies completely deplete my energy. This was years ago when I would also experience a heat energy rise from the base of my spine when sex was or masturbation was prolonged. I called them energy orgasms . Taking the longview ? and staying on the edge for a long period of time completely changed the picture. Reaching actual orgasm in a hurried way was a practice I abandoned and afterwards I found myself with an increase in chi energy. This I found to be the case with just masturbation or sex with a girlfriend. No post coital depression. No guilt. Also for me the discovery of how emotional negativity destroys sex energy. Lighthearted moods enhances the energy. This phenomenon is spoken of in the Fourth Way (esoteric Christianity) which I’ve studied. It took a long time of observing myself to really see the guilt and shame that was subtle yet deeply embedded by conditioning from religion and the collective ego.

I just turned 55. When I was in school there was no sex education at my school. I live in a rural area of Arkansas. I really know nothing about contemporary sex education that's offered in my country other than there used to be a wide variance concerning the curriculum when contrasting different areas of the country. Former President Clinton is from Arkansas. When elected in the early nineties he choose Joycelyn Elders, also from Arkansas, as Surgeon General. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joycelyn_Elders Being an outspoken advocate for sex education and masturbation. I remember the controversy surrounding her,,, Conservative Christian Fundamentalists still hold sway over politics and local school boards where most of the decisions are made. At the heart of this Stage blue - orange Spiral Dynamics worldview, shaming and scapegoating from people who themselves are sexual repressed perpetuate this repression. In my opinion mostly because of fear and group think. These people are not integrated nor individuated to the point of turning the tide. The metaphorical tide though is turning led by the more highly populated metropolitan areas. It just seems so slow to happen. The diversity across our country is vast. East and west coast being quite progressive. The middle of the country is still pretty much ruled over by a bunch of sexually repressed conservative numb-nuts. As an adolescent, I experimented with others of the same sex on a few occasions. Mostly because of curiosity and through loss of boundaries during times of extreme drunkenness. These few events satisfied my curiosity regarding my sexuality but were little morsels of gossip that were spread around our little community and would still today cause some of my family shame. I've become more Teflon or' thick skinned' as the saying goes. Over the years. I would observe how people would passive aggressively name drop and such in an attempt to gain psychological advantage,,, I guess,,. Attempts in trying to shame me. For the most part, unintegrated, sexually repressed people's attempt at perpetuating this fearful worldview. Being that my Journal is known about by some locals, I invite harassment by engaging in these kind of discussions. To me, psychological integration means that one can stand their ground when confronted by others with, I guess, has to be labeled as somewhat 'shadow material'.

@Zigzag Idiot thanks . I think that sex education should be an integrated component of population education programs in every country of the world . The problem is 90% of teenagers begin their sexual lives with porn and masturbation. I know I did .there is also this whole demonisation of sex that runs amok in third world and Conservative countries. What do you think? Should we teach kids in school about their sexusliy ? It could certainly be helpful, In stage blue countries where fundamentalist religion is dominant, most sex education programs will run contrary to its values which are rooted in the demonization of our sex energy. This then creates a clash with the liberties of their religious freedom. I may be out of touch with some current trends regarding this clash. More effective towards a faster resolution I think would be a progressive campaign launched by a large group irreverent, light hearted heretics eroding the boogey-man Satin/Devil aspect of their rationales. This done outside of the countries educational system of course. Maybe introduce a revived form of Disco as a component of this campaign. Doing for them what it helped accomplish for the U.S. in the 70's. I'm about half joking of course,,, In my irreverent opinion the following work by Rob Brezsny would set a good underlying tone for a progressive campaign of heretics wanting to reduce the overall fear and shame instilled in a population by conservative fundamentalist religions. Rob Brezsny's - A Prayer For You. I am starting to pray right now to the God of Gods, the God beyond all Gods, the Girlfriend of God, the Teacher of God, the Goddess who invented God, and what I pray is: Oh Goddess Who Never Kills But Only Changes: I pray that my exuberant, suave, and accidental words might move You to unleash ferocious blessings on all the beauty and truth fans who've tuned in. I pray that You'll grant them what they don't even know they want. Not just the boons they think they need but everything they've been afraid to even imagine or wish for. Oh Goddess, You Wealthy Anarchist Burning Heaven to the Ground: The divine chameleons out there in sacred space don't even know they're crazy. Please use Your blinding magic to help them see they're all wildly creative geniuses too big for their own bodies. Guide them to realize that they're all completely different from what they think they are and more exciting than they can possibly imagine. And make it immoral, illegal, irrelevant, unpatriotic and totally tasteless for them to be in love with anyone or anything that's no good for them. Oh Goddess You Sly Universal Virus with No Opinion: I beg that You help all the personal growth-addicts that are reading this prayer to be disciplined enough to go crazy in the name of creation not destruction. I pray that You teach them the difference between self-destructive self-control and liberating self-control. Awaken in them the power to do the half-right thing when it's impossible to do the totally right thing. Arouse the Wild Woman within them ~ even if they're men. Give them bigger, better, more original sins and wilder, wetter, more interesting problems. And, oh Goddess, You Pregnant Criminal Who Scorns All Mediocre Longing: Inspire all the original sinners out there to love their enemies in case their friends turn out to be jerks. Provoke them to throw away things that make them believe they're better than everyone else. Show them how much fun it is to brag about what they can't do and don't have. Most of all, brainwash them with Your freedom, so that they never love their own pain more than anyone else's pain. Oh Goddess, you Psychedelic Mushroom Cloud at the Center of All Our Brains: These budding Demeters and Inannas and Buddhas and Christs deserve everything they need and much much more. Please arrange for a racehorse to be named after them, or a boulevard or river or thousand-year-old storm on another planet. Help them win the battle against time, and learn to talk the language of the most scientific angels, and master the zen of temper tantrums, and get a fabulous mommy and daddy in their next incarnation. Teach them to push their own buttons and unbreak their own hearts and right their own wrongs and sing their own songs and be their own wives and save their own lives. Bless them with lucid dreams while they're wide awake and solar energy-operated sex toys that work in the dark and a vacuum cleaner for their magic carpet and a knack for avoiding other people's hells [!] and a secret admirer who's not a psychotic stalker and a thousand masks that all fit their face perfectly and their own 900 number so that everyone has to pay to talk to them. Oh Goddess, you Dumb, Fast, Infinitely Wide River of Electricity, You Smart Slow Smoldering Lump of Angel Fat Left Over from the Big Bang, You Ghostly Snake Who Loves Inventive Tragedy and Sophisticated Superstition, You Cool Furnace That Incinerates the Props of Our Nightmares Much Too Slowly, You Creator of Happy Purgatories Where Impeccably Unironic Apocalypse Salesmen Preach Christian Satanism and Rosicrucian Baseball Players from the Middle Ages Dream Politically Cracked Dreams That Reveal the News in More Exact Metaphors Than Any Newspaper: I pray that You provide all the global village idiots that are reading this prayer with a license to bend all laws, rules, and traditions that keep them apart from the things they love. Show them how to purge themselves of the wishy-washy wishes that keep them distracted from their divine desires. And teach them that they can have anything they want if they'll only ask for it in an unselfish tone of voice. Oh Goddess Who Gives Us So Much Love and Pain Together That Our Morality is Always on the Verge of Collapsing: I beg You to cast a spell to nullify all bad spells that have ever been cast on all the beautiful love geniuses out there. Remove, banish, annihilate, and laugh into oblivion any jinx that has clung to them no matter how long they've suffered from it, and even if they've grown accustomed or addicted to its ugly companionship. Conjure an aura of protection around them so that they will receive an early warning if they're ever about to act in such a way that would attract another hex or plague or voodoo into their lives. And now, dear God of Gods, God Beyond All Gods, Sister Lover of God, Mother of God, Goddess who invented God: I bring this prayer to a close, trusting that in these mysterious moments You have impregnated the dream glands of all the beauty and truth fans out there with the most compassionate lust and smartest love You can imagine. And if there is anything I've forgotten which will help their cause, please flash it into my imagination in the coming days and months and decades, and motivate me to perform any tricks or carry out any project that will encourage an abundance of sweaty creativity to flow through them, inspiring them to become more wildly disciplined, erotically feminist, aggressively sensitive, demonically compassionate, ironically sincere, lyrically logical, insanely poised, orgiastically lucid, macho feminist. Amen. Awomen. Ommmmmmm and halle-fucking-lujah.

@Someone here Wonderful, broad minded, intelligent response. Thank you! This topic is inherently touchy. No pun intended. ? Lots of healing and integration await the majority of the population as well as myself on this subject.

Hope you don't mind if I give some self expression as well as some probably controversial opinions. If you want. I will take this down. Sexual repression, in the way it divides people against themselves, creates so many problems globally. Through shame and guilt it gets weaponized by those who know as well as those who don't know. To borrow a phrase from Ken Wilber. I'm a hardwired heterosexual. Self diagnosed Asperger's,,,, somewhat. To be blunt, I'd rather Jack-off than fuck. My taste in regards to porn is pretty vanilla. Softcore,, young cute/beautiful ladies. I do believe or understand the arguments about how porn poisons the minds of humans. Until a person really observes themselves over time it may remain sub or semi-conscious that it (porn) creates unrealistic expectations. I also agree with those who say it becomes an addiction. Nearly everything is addictive. Sugar, caffeine, bowling, complaining and arguing, chocolate ice cream. What could be more "normal" or understandable than admiring the physic of those who we are sexually attracted to. Humans are very oversexed as a species. We have relatively delicate bodies that needed some arithmetic on our side physiologically to survive in our evolution through history. I maintain that counteracting against the aggression of our own superego as well as others, leads to the awakening of conscience. Group think - herd mentality/ the cultural ego keeps us asleep as conformists. We have to learn to truly think for ourselves. I may be a stroke-slut but I abhor violence. War is profane. Humans are beautiful. The older I get, the more passive I become. It's normal to be horny but I live by a code that says never impose your will on someone else and that Mercy is the highest law.

Finishing my morning coffee now. It’s a cool sunny morning. Thinking of making a small brush fire where I’ve been doing some clearing. Might do some glass busting as well,,,, I’ve got a bunch of assorted glass jars and bottles that have accumulated. Playing with fire and busting glass. Two good therapy’s for bolstering the red energy. Lower chakras, hara, red Latifa,,, The Red Essence is the Quality that Will Keep Our Inquiry from Collapsing So when the going gets tough and we start thinking, “I don’t know if I can continue this inquiry; it’s too difficult,” our true nature can manifest what is needed. In this case, it is the quality of our true nature that we call the Red latifa. It gives us the sense that “Yes, I can do it, I’ve got what it takes,” so we don’t feel overwhelmed and give up. The Red Essence is the quality that will keep our inquiry from collapsing. You have probably noticed that even when you’re not confronted by blocks or challenges to your inquiry, simply engaging this subtle process of observing your experience and investigating it requires energy. If you’re tired, it will be difficult to effectively engage the process; the most you can do is be aware of what you are experiencing. It takes energy to go beyond that basic awareness—to understand the truth that lies hidden within our experience. Inquiry takes a lot more energy than doing your job because it takes all of you, all of the capacities of your psyche. Even when you’re not tired and not avoiding difficult issues, you still need energy to inquire. You need energy in order to be open and interested enough to remain engaged with such a subtle process, to allow such a subtle capacity as our inner guidance to function. That’s why it is important to practice inquiry when you feel energetic and robust, when you have vitality. That is also why you need to live in such a way that you have sufficient energy for inquiry, just as would be needed for doing any other inner practice. So if you’re really serious about engaging this work, you need to conserve your energy and balance your life so that you can be effective in your inquiry. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 270 The Red Latifa Enables Defense Against the Superego Is relatively easy to see that much of our opaqueness, much of our lack of openness, much of our stuckness, is due to the attacks of the superego– ours and other people’s. These are the criticisms, the putdowns, the comparisons, the judgments, the devaluations, the blaming, the shaming, the rejection, and the hatred that the superego levels at you in all kinds of situations. Here the Red latifa can specifically be used in the service of inquiry, by giving us the strength to defend against the superego. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 279 Taken from: https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/red-latifa Everyone have a good day!

Do you wish people well? Even people who get on your nerves? How about those you know who have gossiped about you? Maybe someone who owes you money or have brought harm to you somehow. Having a cynical attuite comes with a high price. You probably do not genuinely wish others well and carry around chronic low grade guilt because of that. This is something I've been working on. It's a difficult aim and I probably sound self righteous. Well,,,, I can be at times. And a hypocrite too. Most people are at given times and many choose not to observe that part of themselves. Self forgiveness can initiate a lot of healing. If you have an ax to grind with someone or you're carrying around a grudge or a grievance. Forgive them so you won't hate yourself. Lightheartedness is a wonderful healing balm. I've found all this takes practice. Continual practice. And sometimes I backslide for a time. Letting go is a major component. What does the word kenosis mean in Greek? the act of emptying In Christian theology, kenosis (Ancient Greek: κένωσις, romanized: kénōsis, lit. ' lit. 'the act of emptying'') is the 'self-emptying' of Jesus' own will and becoming entirely receptive to God's divine will. What is self emptying? Self-emptying is the core spiritual practice in contemplation. The word in ancient Greek is kenosis, as in “Christ Jesus… emptied himself.” In contemplation, one empties oneself of ego, anxiety, resentment, judgment, logistics, desire, you name it. And then one extends self-emptying into all aspects of life.

I perceive intellectual types as being especially susceptible to a chronic neurosis. Stuck in their head all the time,,, A favorite one- liner of mine. - Reaching conclusions can often make one miserable. I picked out a couple of excerpts from the Ridhwan glossary which I thought was in alignment with your statements. There is No Separate Thing That Is Ego As the restricted self, what we call the ego, lets go, its very substance unfolds like a flower. The ego doesn't die but transforms. The ego is nothing but the perspective of the surface of the soul, which is the true being. Many spiritual traditions go on about slaying the ego. But you can't kill the ego. There is no separate thing that is ego. The ego is action, simply an activity that fastens your being, your soul, your psyche, and your self in a particular way. The fixation and rigidity of the ego calcifies and forms a dry plaster on your gut that restricts the movement of your soul. As the ego dissolves we experience essence and being more directly. You might be sitting in a cafe when suddenly you experience yourself as an infinite, boundless, emerald green light. You can't help but see the pain and hurt of whoever passes in front of you, and your heart swells with kindness. You want to do whatever you can to alleviate their suffering. That is the emergence of the aspect of compassion. from- https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/ego-activity Ego Individuality is a Mental Structure, Not a Beingness Ego boundaries create not only a sense of separateness, but, in a fundamental way, a sense of isolation and lack of contact. ..... This is also a subtle perception, requiring a great deal of disidentification. As we discussed in the section on contact, the individuality of ego feels like a kind of personal contact, but only the Personal Essence can make real, direct contact. Our present discussion of boundaries makes it clear why this is so. It is not only because ego individuality is a mental structure and not a beingness, but also because its very existence is based on its boundaries. These boundaries separate it from the rest of the world much more profoundly than is usually assumed. When one experiences the quality of contact of the Personal Essence, it becomes clear how thoroughly ego is shut off within its boundaries, as if behind walls. It is painfully isolated from true human contact It is common understanding that deep contact requires that one relax, let go of one’s boundaries, and become vulnerable. The essential contact of the Personal Essence is made possible by a complete relaxation of defensive boundaries, a total vulnerability. This immediate, real contact is possible only for a personal presence that does not have the isolating boundaries of ego. This quality of the Personal Essence is mysterious, even miraculous. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 398 from- https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/ego-boundaries