Zigzag Idiot

From hexagram 27 that I got this morning. Actually yesterday morning. -- The Sage uses this theme of nourishment to refer to what is taken in as food, and metaphorically, to what is taken into the psyche as thoughts, ideas, and beliefs. The Sage distinguishes between what nourishes the True Self and what feeds the ego. What nourishes the True Self adds to the person's existing supply of chi energy.( lifeforce and will to live), whereas what feeds the ego robs him of chi. All thoughts, ideas, and beliefs, affect our whole being. Thoughts that are not in harmony with Cosmic Truth do so in two ways: first, they negatively affect our ability to receive the chi we need from the Cosmos, and second, they affect how we utilize food and drink.

When i become identified strongly about something, I forget myself. A conscious politician would not identify and would be at an advantage over a semi-conscious reactive opponent, who relies on handlers and P. R. Experts to keep them out of trouble.

That makes sense. Relating to the playing card symbolism of Alchemy, deliberateness in speech and movement is a sign of being in the center of gravity of the Kings of Spades and Diamonds. When I'm in Witness Consciousness and well rested my posture is a lot straighter, shoulders layed back, breathing belly breaths. Not just me,,, anybody,, or most people experience this slight change in posture. I thought of this when you told the story of the guys who were triggered somehow when you walked by. Also you being in a balanced and relaxed state set you apart from other people on the street, possibly. Oh, I forgot you said you looked at them also. I pictured their painbodies recoiling from seeing a smile and then lashing out. Angry suffering people have to keep finding new things to feed on and projecting something onto someone else happens mechanically, it seems. I was verbally assaulted in a similar way while doing a slow meditative walk on the grounds of a big hospital a few years ago. You we're trying to remember Abraham Maslow's name I think. From green to yellow in the shift from first tier to second tier it seems that the capacity to Witness becomes a lot more pronounced here,,,

There's a story, purportedly true, of a school board in the heart of the Tennessee Bible Belt wrestling with whether or not to institute a foreign language curriculum in its high school. After heated discussion, the debate was finally brought to an end when one of its board members stood up and said, "No Way! If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for my son" This is from near the beginning of Cynthia Bourgeault's THE WISDOM JESUS. @mandyjw I think you would love this book. @Bill W also since you've each expressed a renewed interest in Christianity and the Bible. For me it articulates the divide in Fundamentalist Christianity as well as an introduction to a contemplative Christianity which many are unaware of and has authentic lineage. Talk about effecting a large portion of US voters. It stands Fundamentalism on its head. If it only could be delivered in such a way in which these church goers who vote for Trump had "ears to hear",,,,

@jbram2002 Even though I sincerely take what Leo says in an overall way, differently than you. I respect what you say. ?

To go fully into disco requires the full participation of my Idiot. One of the more reclusive members of this ship's crew is a real John Travolta. The other crew for the most part just shake their head at this guy. He annoys them outwardly but inside of themselves, truth be known, he scares the shit out of them.

I too have a very addiction-prone personality. Although less in severity than alcohol and cigarettes, drinking Dr Pepper was a very long running one. Hallucinogenics are not appealing to me in the way of being addictive. In the past, I was often doing other substances along with them with my party boy personality. This created a little twist/blindspot in my perspective at times. My one experience with dmt nearly two years ago was anything but pleasant. One lsd trip in my teens was extremely traumatizing. I don't view Leo's partial focus on psychedelics as addictive at all but an alternative approach to accelerated growth. I've really done a disservice to the community here in having a party boy attitude regarding psychedelics in the last 3 or 4 months. Although I still value lightheartedness, I'm going to try to cut out the party boy attitude. I'm making arrangements to have a nn dmt trip in about 2 weeks from now.

6-12-2019 24. Returning. Line 6 27. Nourishing Council from the 6th line of hexagram 24 -- ,,,,,,,,This line can refer to the fate created when a person adopts the self image of being noblehearted. Such a person is trying to "be like God", whom he believes to possess unconditional Love, which he interprets as overlooking and tolerating ego-behavior. He does not see that this self image has put a spell and lock on all his senses of discernment. The Sage makes us aware of the Cosmic Consciousness, the source of all love, retreats in the presence of the ego, and withholds love so long as the ego is present, and in this way draws the person back to his true self. Practicing unconditional love creates one fate after another --- the disaster mentioned.,,,,,,,

Discussion of how sexual repression can lead to pathological behavior. If one doesn't feed the wolf, it will turn against you.

In having an Automaton and through purification of the emotional center giving access through subtle body to causal body.

How is it possible that impulses for action exist within the field of impressionability? Through the causal body. Possibly. From a certain perspective. If it's true for you. Everything. It's direct. No transfer, if I understood the question correctly.

@tsuki No. .?? No. ?? Maybe. Hard to say. A field of impressionability, perhaps.

Instinct feels pre-personal. Feeling is personal. Intuition feels transpersonal.

@tsuki I was going to comment last week on how you seem to take care in choosing your words and the possible significance of it. You've taken it to a whole new level here. Although learning to speak a second language would make everyone seem this way I intuit that in speaking your native language, you could be described as someone who communicated in this way. That, at times, you may pause in speaking for a moment or two to bring up the needed word for a more exacting communication. If you feel like it. Let's make it fun. Read this to your wife and let her give a thumbs up or thumbs down. ? = you are someone who more than others, will choose your words carefully. ? = you don't have this tendency to any exaggerated extent. Words are dualistic by their nature. Using visual impressions to communicate is open to broader interpretations as well as subtleties. I just rewatched it and think maybe I caught a glimmer of understanding. But maybe not. I can really be dense at times. I also intuit your wife is a mars or partial mars essence type. This could be a projection though. Is there a new state of consciousness or a new stage with this latest realization? Can it be applied to second tier of SD? I realize that I'm possibly mixing onions with oranges and apples and possibly your experience can't be put in these frames of references.

When I'm unbalanced, out of center, and in ego more than being, reactivity is my downfall. Actually, the vocal expression of negative emotions is, which happens through reactivity. It empties me of the force which seems to go hand in hand with inner quiet. If I can manage to observe enough to keep my mouth shut and just allow the emotions to be how they are, this marks a crucial time. It has a cumulative effect when I'm able to do so. A special memory is created that can be added to later. Even if I screw up and make a mess of things the next time. It will have a contrast to the time I managed hold my tongue and therefore slightly improve my chances the next time. Once I let go and start bitching, blaming, etc., any kind of finer energy is burned up for the rest of the day and more likely along with this will be the old familiar negative internal dialogue. Reaching a deep sleep cycle the next night is very important for the body chemistry to get right again. The relative ability to observe means so much. I realize this through having a twice daily sitting meditation practice. Essentially, during these two times of the day all of my dispersed attention is gathered back up. Being in possession and control of my own attention is a crucial element for not being reactive. As a general rule, we have to watch ourselves fail several if not countless times. Being able to watch yourself 'go over the waterfall' is helpful in itself. Observe and see if this phenomena is also true for you. It's something I picked up in a previous self observation group. It helps create the special memory that's cumulative. Don't repress. Feel everything. Keep mouth shut. Don't speak it into the world. If you do lose it, watch yourself go 'over the waterfall'. Try to watch and guard against self criticism which only adds fuel to the fire.

@Truth Addict I agree. I've always taken my health for granted and then only appreciate it in hindsight after I become ill. After years of repeatedly doing this, on occasions now I'm able appreciate more having good health while in a healthy condition.

6-11-2019 24. Returning Lines 2 and 3 11. Harmony/Peace/Prosperity From changing line 2 - ,,,,,Guilt is an invention of the collective ego, designed to keep people under its control. The person needs to get rid of all ideas of guilt and of the idea that repentance would free him of it. Repentance slanders the loving nature of the Cosmos, which holds nothing as guilty. The Cosmos gives the person all the help he needs to return to sincerity.,,,,,

I woke up this morning thinking about this post of yours from a few days ago and your style of relating. As I was pondering, this scene from MEETINGS WITH REMARKABLE MEN came to mind. ? Thanks for sharing. ?

Processing the worst of the shadow with a Psychotherapist In January of 2015 I was invited to a small group who were starting at the beginning of A Course IN MIRACLES. It was led by a Psychotherapist who had discovered ACIM in years past. This was his 5th or 6th time to go through it. I never had even looked at the text until that first meeting. I knew within few minutes that I was interested. Each week I drove 1 1/2 hours one way to go to the meetings. After about a month, I told Jim, the group organizer/Psychotherapist that I would like to schedule a weekly appointment to do some shadow work. For the first couple of appointments I just dumped everything I could bring out of my shadow. Traumas from childhood onward. Humiliations, hatreds, betrayals etc.,, Anthing that I could remember but wish I could forget or the worst of it, I told him. I knew he had been a therapist for years. So, I didn't hold back figuring he had heard it all. After about 6-8 weeks I felt that all I was doing at that point was needlessly stirring up emotional things. It felt good to just dump all that stuff on him and get his feedback and be done with it. If this idea appeals to you, I recommend it. Just find a therapist you feel ok with. Jim doesn't believe in all the new pharma. Says it's just a money maker needlessly perpetrated by big pharmaceuticals. I was on Paxil from about 2000 -2010 and quit them on my own. So I understand a little from different perspectives but I really feel the same as he does. Mostly because of him,,, A Professional in the field of psychotherapy. He sends out an email mini Column every week that I still subscribe to. This is it from last week. The Impossible Dream by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2019 Dr. Jim Rosen When you don’t love and appreciate yourself as a person, then you find yourself trying to please other people far too much of the time. You have this belief that if you try hard to be good (in the eyes of these other people), then they should recognize your worth, and then they’re supposed to respond with love, support and approval. So you do a lot for others, but the doing is to get something in return. Isn’t that the essence of selfishness – doing in order to get something? But you’re not quite able to completely please them, and they don’t quite give you what you really need. So you feel empty and resentful inside. And then you try even harder to please…Stop! When you develop self-love, you do what feels right and important on the inside, and you commence to give from your heart. This leads you to be truly giving – at times to yourself, at times to others. This is where you can live in a state of balance and where the emptiness and resentment can fall away. Very similar messages here:

I don't know about eternity. I've not had any experience about it. I understand infinity to some degree because I've had an experience about it. it's not that I don't believe those who say with certainty that soul is eternal. I've just not realized it. Conceptually, I can envision 'Existence' as possibly being eternal. But soul and existence are two different things. Maybe they're not and possibly that would resolve the disparity for me. I've assumed most of my life that we each are a soul who is eternal. Pondering on it though, revealed some assumptions that went unnoticed in the past. The Teaching Gurdjieff gave that most are born with only a possibility of developing a soul makes a lot of sense in some ways, as horrible as that idea sounds. Centers and chakras can be confusing. They are two different things which sometimes are the same thing but most of the time they are not quite the same thing. The 3 transpersonal chakras are sometimes said to be around the knees, feet, and above the head. I think some traditions suggests maybe even dozens mini chakras that have specific locations in the body. There are three centers. No, there are four. No, actually there are five. When the belly or instinctIve center is subdivided into three as some do. That makes five. Hara or belly center divided by three-- The instinctive with autonomic nervous system and controlling bodily functions and processes. The instinctive/moving part (all learned movements like the ability to walk.) The sexual center.

@Anderz I'm enjoying reading your Journal. Somebody in a recent YouTube gave Descartes - "I think, therefore I am", as something like the birth or definition of the modern ego and separate sense of self. Specifically, the neurotic self in the head. It may have even been Leo. I can't remember. If someone else remembers hearing this and who said it, please let me know.

6-10-2019 42. Increasing. Line 2 61. Inner Truth

The essence of the idea of Karma-Yoga is to meet with unpleasant things equally with pleasant things. That is, in practicing Karma-Yoga, one does not seek always to avoid unpleasant things, as people ordinarily do. Life is to be met with non-identifying. When this is possible, life becomes one's teacher; in no other sense can life become a teacher, for life taken as itself is meaningless, but taken as an exercise it becomes a teacher. It is not life that is a teacher, but one's relation through non-identifying makes it become a teacher. Nothing can change being so much as this practice - namely, to take the unpleasant things in life as an exercise. (Maurice Nicoll, Commentaries, Vol. 1) In other words, it's about learning how to not take occurrences in life in a negative way. It's a process of purifying the heart.

One form of which is spreading fear.

if you could change one thing about the culture you live in? Everyone's unconscious imagination which pollutes impartial objective thinking. What Gurdjieff referred to as Kundabuffer.