Zigzag Idiot

@Bill W Great Idea! I just wanted to lend my support. I recommend the book to everyone. The part of the book which has the personal stories of the founders is what I remember also affecting me in a deep way . I think this site is legit. Someone correct me if I'm wrong. https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/read-the-big-book-and-twelve-steps-and-twelve-traditions

The introduction page was getting too long. Here the text continues,,,,,, Our brain falls into patterns of cyclic neurotoxicity as a result of emotional repression of the fight/flight mechanism during early trauma, social stress, abandonment or deprivation of needs during in our infancy. Thus the neurotoxicity that is addressed by kundalini awakenings is the repressive mechanism built into our primary wiring (0-5 years development). This initial patterning becomes the template for ongoing emotional repression, and lack of neuron-recouperation, which interferes with the smooth running of our catecholamine "activating" neurons. (The Catecholamine metabolism proceeds from tyrosine, to DOPA, to dopamine to norepinephrine and then to epinephrine.) Van Winkle says that other neurotransitters and metabolites build up in the synapses and this impaired function further contributes to stress. As you can imagine this leads to very inefficient brain function, and often kundalini awakening is initiated during a particularly high “stress/stress relief” cycle. Or rather, since the neuro-repression is unraveling, life circumstances seem to come to a profound nexus and crescendo of inner-outer events hyper-affects us to bring the nervous system to an acute crisis. The repression is thus its own antithesis, in bringing about its dissolution through the polar nature of existence itself. When there is simply no energy left to keep the repression system in place, nature steps in to reset the entire organism through a kundalini awakening, thereby redeeming what might have been a lost childhood, and permitting healing from the slings and arrows of life. How did this pattern of emotional repression originate? A mother’s behavior must be attuned to the infant’s basic needs. Babies suppress fight/flight responses when their needs are so unmet that they go into a freeze response. The vegetative unmyelinated vagus controls basic metabolism and responds to stress by "immobilisation behaviours." Domesticated animals including humans are sub-natural when it comes to releasing the tension of both fight/flight and freeze. Also children are encouraged to "lie" by inhibiting the expression of fear, anger, sadness, and so the neurotic, dissociated false self that doesn't know what it feels is built. Kundalini awakenings constitute a mechanism for the ultimate release of this primal repression, allowing our brains to evolve and mature beyond the ongoing cycles of repression/neurotoxicity/detoxification. The ultimate terror for a newborn organism is to be undergoing postbirth separation anxiety without the genuine emotional support of a mother figure. The trauma would still occur if the mother is there but is emotionally absent, distracted, depressed, rejecting or unloving. I suspect that the panic button comes on full bore and simultaneously to protect the baby from its own panic, the numbing or freeze button would also come on. Thus it may not appear from the outside that the baby is in deep distress. From this initial setting of terror, the consequences of this brutal entrance into the world cascade throughout the life of the individual such as: learning disorders, lack of coordination, shyness, lack of direction, chronic loneliness, bodymind schism and the inability to know what one truly feels, lack of a sense of center and focus, inability to feel included, relationship difficulties, diet and digestive disturbance, addictions, self-destructive entropic lifestyle etc… Ultimately leading to physical, emotional and mental diseases of various sorts. Without a kundalini awakening that primary conditioning that we took on in our infancy still has a huge sway over our bodymind and lives. That is why kundalini can be so scary at times, because it is addressing our most fundamental and primitive structures…way below the domain of rational operation. While the nerves in the emotional limbic areas of the brain are being kindled by kundalini our emotions are unleashed, hence the crying, anger, fear, ecstasy, love, attraction, deja vu etc...that happen in the early stages of the peak. (See Action Matters) Permanent changes in consciousness occur via kundalini's impact on the nerves by the extra pruning of axions and changes in myelination patterns, and changes in the spectrum of neurotransmitters and firing patterns. But what I don't understand is how the kindling of the brain leads to detoxification of the synapses. For sure kundalini must cause a loss of excitatory glutamate receptors which might contribute to the experience of equanimity and peace, but also to apathy and depression. And once the catecholamine neurons are no longer on permanent alert and forcing the production of the neuroinhibitors: glycine, GABA, optiates and serotonin in an effort to subdue hyper-arousal, the entire brain should come out of its self-suppression and become more available to present moment consciousness. I suspect that it is the massive ongoing deluge of opiates and the other “relaxation” and pleasure chemicals of kundalini that allow the body to come out of its perpetual hyper-arousal. In this way the nervous system doesn’t need such extensive detoxification as it did during its radical-repressed condition…this leaves more energy and resources for higher states of consciousness and being. As the nervous system becomes more “efficient” and needs less resources to deal with damage control, we essentially incarnate to a greater degree and spiritually evolve. We show up! As the Spirit finally starts penetrating the “shield of closure” there is a sense of extra "Presence" that accompanies anyone going through an awakening. A Presence which thereafter is forever with us to a greater extent than prior to awakening—because we have become freed from the repressive mechanisms of our primary matrix. Some people interpret this new larger “Presence” as an alien entity, God or spirit of some form, and thus continue the infant denial of their own existence as spirit. The end result of a kundalini awakening is the significant reduction in body tension and body pain in general, coupled with the calming of emotions and reduction in reactivity. Having more Presence (contemporary available consciousness) we also have a greater sense of self-boundary so conditions of borderline personality, codependency and neurosis in general are reduced or eliminated. With the repression lifted we are both better able to defend ourselves, more trusting and less defensive, because we have the full power of the "unsuppressed" Hypothalamus-Pituitary-Adrenal Axis at our disposal. All our defense mechanisms and aspects of embodiment should therefore be more responsive to ongoing development, and the individual is able to mature at a far greater speed…having as it were the “primal veil of sleep” lifted from ones being. From this Toxic Mind Theory we can see why humans are so good at denial of reality, and what we are sacrificing by keeping this closure from reality intact. Through our repression of truth, we avoid our own incarnation and so are condemned to spiritual loneliness and separation from the cosmic whole. Van Winkle says that the suppression of anger is more damaging than the trauma itself. For suppressing anger causes toxicosis in the brain which shows up as mood disorders, addictions, PTSD, all manner of depressions, codependency (loss of inner resources) and a host of other mental/emotional disorders. Since the inhibitory mechanisms of the brain are dysinhibited during a kundalini awakening, due to the increase in excitatory chemistry, this is the perfect time for undergoing assisted or self-administered primal therapy. The primal therapy of releasing repressed anger and grief is a simple and effective means of rectifying the toxicosis that is at the heart of most neurological disorders. Once the detoxification process has cleared neural pathways, recovery is virtually complete, restoring memory, intelligence and creativity and overcoming dysphoric symptoms. The native euphoria of the living organism is returned and unity with cosmos reestablished. There is still more left on this web page,,, http://biologyofkundalini.com/article.php@story=ToxicMindTheory.html

@tsuki I enjoyed the video! Years ago I heard someone loosely describe Fourth Way Inquiry work as Contemplative psychoanalysis. In some of A H Almaas's earlier lectures he mentions Karen Horney's work which he has read extensively in his own search. The following video was in the prompt after I watched your video post. This seems to fit the category you've made and I enjoyed it. When I watch some more from Academy of Ideas and I enjoy them, I'll post them. If you want to keep it 100% Acadamy of Ideas please let me know and I'll take this one down.

From the list I found a brief one concerning Metanoia and also a 2 1/2 hour Graham Hancock video that I just started. I recently got around to watching a documentary on Hunter Thompson that I ended up enjoying more than the movies made about him - Where the Buffalo Roam and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Besides a little too much of Gary Busey at the Beginning, it kept getting better and better. I've watched it 4 or 5 times. Letting it run while I'm doing other tasks. I looked for it on the list under biographies and didn't see it. At 15:50 John Cusack is telling about playing shotgun golf while visiting Hunter at his home in Colorado. This could have gone in under a number of different categories. He was such an influential person on American culture,,,, It wouldn't embed. Hopefully the link will stick here alive. https://youtu.be/VlAZV_EsSSE @Enizeo @Jonac @Leo Gura @Aeris I agree. @Pernani Too bad You Tube has taken some of these down. I can tell that there will be much time here spent enjoying many of these. Thanks!

I appreciate your openness in sharing and hope you have some luck with this. The following is one of my favorite resources concerning Kundalini. I've shared it before on here but it's been a while. http://biologyofkundalini.com/ Last year I discovered Hans Wilhelm YouTubes. Speaking of synchronicities, I ran into this one again where he quotes Matt Kahn @ 8 :05 which I used as a signature line - "We have to bless the living crap out of everyone". I had never heard of Matt Kahn and didn't recognize the name for a couple of months while I binge watched Wilhelm's videos. I'm only on page 11 of The Secret of the Golden Flower. I let my reading become sporadic sometimes. It doesn't help that I often get several books started at once,,,,, By the way, I'm reminded of Bennett's Idiots In Paris, (great book) John tells how Gurdjieff instructed him to stand while sleep deprived and hold his arms out at at ninety degrees for several minutes as a concentration practice. I think sometimes up to half an hour or more. Can't remember exactly but it's mentioned in more than one place,,,, This book was created out of John and Elizabeth Bennetts personal diaries.

Today's reading - 8 -23 -2019 Just one unchanging Hexagram - 43 Resoluteness/Breakthrough a small piece of the text,,,,, "The force of will lies neither in physical nor mental power, but in its irresistible strength, which develops when it aligns with inner truth. Breakthrough refers to the successful effort of the will in breaking down the power of the ego. The breakdown of the ego is initiated through saying the inner No to any part of the ego that is active in the situation. The inner No brings about transformation in the realm of the atom, which is the realm of consciousness." page 365

Ok, I got you now. I've done that before,,,

That does sound synchronous! What is this thing called cross posting? I've never understood what that means. Must be in my blindspot,,,,

It was a turning point in my life for sure. It takes Saturn that long to go 1 time around the sun. ? Its an interesting frame of reference.

Straight posture is key in meditation. I tore some kind of something in my left shoulder six years ago. It stays dislocated most of the time. I customized my Centering Prayer to where I go from sitting with back straight to standing with back straight. I'll stand up and sit down how ever many times I need to in 20 minutes. It also gives me a time to remember my Centering Prayer word and let go. This might make all the difference if you have a chronic ailment in your posture like me. My Automaton has some wear on it. ?

Some interesting text below for those who are interested or trying to learn about Astrology,,,, https://timburness.wordpress.com/2014/01/21/russell-brands-astrological-birth-chart/ He sobered up around his 'Saturn return'. We all have Saturn return when we are around 29 and 1/2 years old

Love with a capital "L" gives one the Impartiality and persistence of 'honey badger' minus the violence.

Me too. Very much so.

@mandyjw @abrakamowse @Ero @SoothedByRain @Stefano Provenzi ??

@dmitry12312 Thank you, looks like a good practical resource. On the flip side, I hear Rumi say - "Don't scold the lover The wrong way he talks is better than a 100 right ways of others" Thank you @khalifa @Nahm @dmitry12312 @shamaanitar

As Rumi puts it - ,,,,,I ride after a deer and find myself Chased by a hog.,,,,, Got The Secret of the Golden Flower in yesterday but have spent all my time digging in Almaas Glossary. Earlier this morning and still now there is a humbled feeling over the rich responses in High Consciousness Resources, I feel strangely unable to even say thank you. How paradoxical,,,, Freedom Becomes, in Some Very Deep Way, Freedom From any Sense of Self As our range of freedom expands—from being free from suffering to being free to experience presence and realization—we can come to a place where we don’t know who it is or what it is that is enjoying the freedom. Because it is free from perspective and position, freedom becomes, in some deep way, freedom from any sense of self. Yet, at the same time, we are the particular individual for whom freedom is relevant; we live a personal life that is significant and that needs to be addressed, lived, and enjoyed. My experience is that the more freedom there is, the more there is heart, the more there is love, the more there is enjoyment and appreciation, and the more there is clarity and understanding in living as an individual. Clarity and understanding become freely given, love and enjoyment become freely given—given and not possessed by anybody. As individuals, we share in them, we express them, and we enjoy them. They don’t come from anywhere and they are not going anywhere. These are some of the qualities that we experience as we live a free life. Living realization, living freedom, means that life becomes practice and practice becomes life. Practice is not a way to get to freedom; it is freedom expressing itself as practice. As you recognize that you are both the particular, unique individual and also Total Being in its indeterminacy, your life does become free from unnecessary suffering but, more importantly, it becomes inherently free—the joy of living the authentic life of Total Being. Total Being—the reality of all times and all space, of all beings and all phenomena —lives as the irrepressible freedom of our individual lives. And the freedom of your life simply expresses the freedom of the dynamic creativity of Total Being. You are the living universe as the universe lives as you. Runaway Realization, pg. 244 The Mysterious Unity of Being and the Individual In other words, the delusion of the ego perspective is that Being identifies itself with the organ of its experience. That is to say that Being, in its mystery and vastness and magic and indefinable and immeasurable qualities, constrains itself by taking itself to be the organ through which it experiences and perceives. Being mistakes the individual consciousness to be all of what it is, to be its only identity. So the problem is not that there is an organ of perception, that there is individual consciousness. What causes all the trouble—the suffering and discontent and incompleteness and meaninglessness and dissociation and headaches and heartaches—is that we take the individual consciousness to be all of what we are, now and forever. But in reality, we are Being in its vastness at the same time as we are the individual with its uniqueness. This mysterious unity of Being and the individual manifests in infinite kinds of experience and realization, which signal the freedom that is possible for human beings.

A few days ago I said - Im trying to organize my thoughts for a topic in High Consciousness Resources concerning just 3 words. Personality - Ego- Mind As usual, I go digging in Ridhwan School Glossary,,,, Confusion About the Term "Ego" Here we digress to point out a source of confusion about the term “ego.” Readers who know both the spiritual and psychological literatures will find the term freely used in both, but with no general agreement on what the term refers to. This ambiguity often leads to confusion. The literature on spiritual development, on essential or inner development, on all matters of religious concern, generally uses the term “ego” to mean something which is seen as the barrier to spiritual realization. The literature on depth psychology, however, uses the term with a very different meaning. The ego referred to by Freud, and which ego psychology studies, is not the ego which is the barrier to spiritual development. They are two different concepts. The psychoanalytic term “ego” refers, rather, to the functional self, which is the site, organizer, and coordinator of the functions of perception, memory, mobility, and so on. There is, however, a concept in depth psychology and ego psychology that coincides with the ego of spiritual literature: it is called the “ego-identity,” and is sometimes referred to as the sense of self, or the sense of identity. This sense of self or separate identity is the main concern of ego developmental theory. This identity is, in fact, the acme, the most important outcome of ego development. It is ultimately the organizing center of the psychic apparatus. This psychic apparatus includes as one of its units the Freudian ego. In other words, the Freudian ego is part of the mind, is a structure or a structured process in it, while the self is a sense of identity and a center of action. The exact sense in which the ego identity is a barrier to spiritual development will become clear in later chapters. The Void, pg. 9 The following also goes with it The Main Difference Between Being and Ego To identify with the reaction that is the ego is to be cut off from Being, one’s true nature and identity. This is what the man of spirit means when he says the ego “is not,” it has no true existence. Now, we can understand in a deeper way the autonomy of Being. From the perspective of Being, what we are is not determined by either the past or the present situation. We are not a reaction; we simply are, an essential existence, totally free from the past. Our nature, our identity, cannot be influenced by situations. The main difference between Being and ego—which is that Being is just being-as-such and ego a reaction from the past—makes Being the true autonomy, and ego autonomy a delusion. It is ironic that object relations theory first describes so competently the way in which ego is structured from past object relations between inner images and, therefore, is compulsively reacting to situations in conditioned patterns, and then goes on to describe this same entity as autonomous! How can this set of reactions from the past be said to be autonomous, when true autonomy can be recognized to be the fullness of the presence of Being in the present? Again this understanding will be difficult for those who have no direct experience of what Being is; but actually almost everyone has had some experience of some deeper aspects of experience which are not completely dominated by ego activity. Here it is a matter of seeing these experiences for what they are, for their great significance.

This song inpspires me because Ozzy is pointing fingers and calling out the shit within the cultural consensus trance hooked into the control in part because of the mainstream media, fear, the military industrial complex, and much of the shadow in our culture, group think/collective ego. At 2:20 - 2:45 especially effectively allegory of the authority figure ripping the schoolwork away from the child and replacing it with the Bible then covering the Bible with the American flag and the scene shifts to war Bombers dropping ordnance. Very rich in other symbolism also. It was the second video I put in my journal when starting it back in December. Poetry - He's screaming - WAKE UP!

? ??? Just noticed his tattoos,,, ?

@Eden If it ever were convenient, I'd love to hear you sing it! I almost posted these next 3 recently. 3 generations showing their appreciation for one song. I grew up getting goosebumps from Roberta Flack's version. Thought I better add Perry Como.

@Ero Articulate assessment and interesting quote. It does indeed sound interesting,,,,, ?

She's in a league of her own, as the saying goes. I've been digesting on parts of this for about two years. ?

For several years I had a Bob and Doug McKenzie alter ego that rotated in and out among my ship of fools. It furthered my dissociation from a world that sucked. Okay, aye.