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Everything posted by Eelco1981
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@Silvester There are a lot of novels that have a real high-consciousness theme in it. A real message. Novels that make people think and question the current situation. Not necessarily getting them to enlightenment, but at least to the next level in life. Consider The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, "1984" and "Animal Farm" by George Orwell, The adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Fahrenheit 451, etc. etc.
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@Christian I won't recommend any books or videos, since you'll be mental-masturbating on them. My advice: just do it! DO it. Take action. Just do it. Get your shit together and get things done. Just start. Tell people what you are going to do, colleagues, friends, parents. Tell them that you are going to meditate every day, tell them that you are going to keep your inbox clean, tell them you are going to have X or Y done before dat Z. And ask them to check up on you. Then that creates a security; they will check upon you if you walk your talk. This is an external motivation, I know, but if you lack discipline, this helps you to get used to the new habits. As soon as you see the benefits for yourself, it will become an intrinsic motivation to have a strong work ethic.
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@heeaffes "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain
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@rambitherhino I can recommend two books that might be helpful. "Taming your gremlin" by Richard Carson and "Embracing your inner Critic" by Hal Stone. Those are powerful books that worked for me. By the way, thinking that you are successful is caused by a big ego, but thinking that you suck is also caused by a big ego. Thinking that you are better or worse than other persons is both an expression of the ego.
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@FindingPeace@Orange FindingPeace gave me the inspirations to the following: "How does one get over wasting time? Realizing that regretting things of the past is a waste of time."
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It never ends. When you have your job, you want you first pay-check, but then you see the money and you want to buy your first television, car, furniture, big bed. Then you still feel empty. Then you want your own place and start renting something. Then you want something bigger. Then you need a raise. You get the raise, you get the bigger apartment, but you still feel empty. Then you want a partner. You get the partner, but he/she is not what you thought is was, you get another, and another and another. Then you don't want to rent anymore, you want your own house. Because THEN you'll be happy. Then you buy your house, move in together, buy all the furniture and cars you need. Then a dog, a bigger tv, a child. But still something is missing. (Although a child gives you meaning/happiness for a long time). Then you want your child to grow up, to walk, to speak, because then you really could do cool stuff with him. Then you can be happy. Then you get another job, another job, another job. You get your body in shape. But still, something is missing. Fathermockers, why do I not get fulfilled here???? I keep chasing my tail. Then you turn 35, get in a divorce, a depression and finally then you come into contact with Actualized.org and finally start to do the inner work, instead of trying to get happy with EXTERNAL things. The start of the spiritual path. Story of my life in short.
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Eelco1981 replied to JKG's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@quantum Koans may lead to more rational thinking which you don't want. One day you might stumble upon a koan that stops your rational thinking, that opens your eyes. But that is more question of luck I guess. Better is to do the hard work of self inquiry. -
@Vaishnavi I wish my older sister would have introduced me to personal development when I was 13! Could of 'saved' me a lot of time. But the path I took might have been necessary to find out what I DON'T want. So I do not think it is too early. In fact, personal development should start as soon as a baby is born. In that sense you can question the entire way we raise our kids nowadays, the entire education system. So the questions is not IF, but HOW? How do you get a 13 year old interested in meditation, self inquiry and consciousness work but on a beginners level. So without telling him "your self is an illusion young boy" . hahaha Rupert Spira is enlightened and said he does not bother to try to convey Truth to his kids. He said something like "They'll come to me when they are ready". Now Leo said something that enlightened people generally are not concerned with teaching other the Truth. I think the most important is that you don't obligate him to do it. Be the example and then he will ask you advice. Motivate him and give him lots of love instead of criticizing him for playing Xbox all the time. Invite him to walks in nature. Teach him that walking in nature with sister is more fun that hanging in front of the tv set with a bag of chips and a bottle of soda. p.s. I like imitating Leo also... "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii this is Leo, foooooooor Actualized.org, and in THIS episode I am going to talk about how to get teenagers into personal development."
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@dboyle "Anicca"; everything in the world is impermanent. Even friendships. They may last a long time, and sometimes they last only a flight in an airplane, or a week or some years. They were your friends back then, but now you make new friends. I 'lost' some friends also. My life evolves, changes. My interest and priorities shift. And so do my hobbies, eat patterns, jobs, and friends.... The level of friendship may get intenser or less intense during the course of your life. That's all part of the game. Sometimes I get sad about it and nostalgic. But that does not last long. I do not live in the past. I live now.
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Eelco1981 replied to John's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@John He might, in your dream, have answered something like this: Suffering is the sign that consciousness tries to awake through you. If you live a comfortably life without real problems, you dream on in the illusion. There are two powerful ways to awakening; either have all the money and success in the world and then realize that it did not fulfill you. Then the suffering (awakening) begins. Or the second way: you get depressed by another event. Someone who is depressed is closer to enlightenment than someone that is living a comfortable life. The awaking takes time. People will die or kill themselves or each other before they awaken. This may take thousands of years. that seems like a long time. But do you know how old the earth is? Then a couple of thousand years is like a second in a human life. By the way, God (awareness, consciousness) is not in a hurry, he will survive anyway. The human kind might not. Is that a bad thing? Only for the human ego. God (awareness, consciousness) does not care much. -
@Orange Wow, that is an interesting question. I was very very neurotic myself. I still am. A voice in my head keeps telling me "Don't just sit there, there is work to do. The work is never done! Do not be so lazy, do something useful! Have you seen the to do list? Why are you procrastinating? Get up, go to work, do the dishes, clean the house, call your grandma, clean up your mailbox, do some exercises, go to the gym, etc. etc. etc." I never let my self take a rest. Why? Several reasons: I am trying to escape from reality. By being busy I do not have to think about the present or the future. When I am busy I can tell myself I am doing a good job, that my life has a meaning. If all work is done, what then? What meaning does my life have? Got to stay busy, no time to waste. it is all an ilusion! I am doing Leo's Life Purpose Course. Now I finally have a goal in my life, finding my life purpose. After that, I will be busy with my life purpose. Now when I take a break, I feel more comfortable. Because I know I have a goal in mind, my life is meaningful (on some level). Taking a break now is to gather energy to get on with my life purpose. So I don't have to stay busy to forget that my life is meaningless. Secondly: I always was pursuing happiness in the next moment. That is chasing your tail. All there is is Now. Happiness is not in the future. It is Now. Analyze your patterns: do you think you are wasting time because you think that when X or Y happens, you will be happy? When you have a job, when you have a house, when you have a partner, when you got your degree. Is it then that you can relax and say "I made it!" It is an illusion. (this last paragraph was inspired by Eckhart Tolle's work) So: start meditating daily and find the truth in what I wrote above. Success!
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@JohnnyBoy The message I am about to write might be a repetition of what has already been written. Nevertheless I wanted to give my version, because I personally struggled with this problem for 20 years and finally got over it. My story: I was veeeeeeery self critical. My expectations for myself and others were very high. I had to work very hard to live up to my own expectations. I was very critical of others that did not live up to my standards. Because I was so critical of others, people liked to criticize me also. The were constantly looking for a moment I made an error. When they did, I got offended and had to work even harder to live up to my own standards. But it was never enough. I was soooooo identified with what I know and what I do. If there was a fault in what I knew or did, I felt like a failure. So tip 1: do not identify yourself with what you know, own, do. Do not even identify with your body. That is not who you are. Do not believe me, find this out yourself. Second: analyze your insecurities. People who get offended about someone questioning their religion, are in reality very doubtful about their religion. If you are so sure about your religion, someone questioning your beliefs won't hurt you. So analyze what it is you are insecure of. Is it true? Are you insecure about your religion, body, beliefs? Again; then do not identify so much with these things. You are not your belief, you are not your religion, you are not your body. If someone says you are a spoon, yes a table spoon; do you get offended? No! you laugh, that is preposterous. You are a human being, not a spoon. Now if someone calls you gay; do you get offended? Do you laugh and say that is preposterous? Or do you get angry? If so, there is a part in you that is doubting or denying you are gay. Then you might be conditioned by society that it is wrong to be gay. That is the expectation you try to live up to. But you are fooling yourself. You are conditioned. Find out what these rules are you so rigidly apply to yourself. Who said you have to be thin/heterosexual/beautiful/successful/rich/white/perfect/flawless/etc.? Society is. So drop those rules and be authentic, be yourself. No matter what society tells you.
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@ttm hahahah You couldn't find a thicker book to recommend?
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@bloo Also, you seem a little hyper. I don't remember who wrote this. (I read it recently), but he has a funny way of slowing you down. He wrote: "And remember: Breathe dammit, Breathe!!" Breathing deep is very important!
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@Arnie What do you mean with research? Are you going to do a PhD on personal development? If not, you just attack every field you feel you're lacking at one by one. Just check Amazon on the bestsellers on that topic. Stress, confidence, dating. I have noticed that in many books they refer to other books. So a lot of times I end up buying a book to which is referred in the book I am reading. Some books are quoted so often, like for me the Bhagavad Gita, that I ended up buying it today. Like Siim says, you have to immerse yourself and then the authorities on a field automatically emerge. Like Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, these names pop up so much that you are almost forced to buy their books. And yes, in your quest you will encounter rubbish also, but you will get more skilled in finding good stuff by just practicing. I have read books that are complete nonsense or copies of someone else's words. Part of the life of the self-help-junkie.
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– If this is my life purpose, shouldn’t this be easy for me even if it’s hard ? no. living your life purpose does not mean a effortless life. It also does not mean no more problems and frustrations. – If I want to do this for real shouldn’t I be able to take all the hits easily and get up afterwards because it is worth the pain ? No. There will always be setbacks. You will get more comfortable with setbacks the more you prove yourself you can overcome them. – Will I make it ? "You are never a failure until you are a quitter (Russel Simmons - Do You) – Am I doing this just for fame ? That's what you have to find out. Would you do it even if it did not bring you fame? – Every half hour I go to smoke a cigarette to have a break You have to get used to the hard work. You might have some fears holding you back and making you procrastinate. All normal symptoms. Face them. Break trough them. – I’ve been doing this exercise for a week and I can’t see any result. ANY. The process of mastery is long and boring at first. Frustrating. Read the book 'Mastery'. You can spend months on a plateau before seeing results. Be persistent and apply 'deliberate practice'. – Is this not what I want to do ? only doing it will give you the answer. – If not then why aren’t I able to have a definete NO answer ? You have to do it a while. Give it a chance. You will either learn that it is what you want or that it isn't what you want. Both answers are helpful. – Do I have mental issues asking all this questions ? No. it is perfectly normal. If you would not have these questions, you'd be a slave to a 9-5 job living in mediocrity. – Oh I have to do those boring exercises again to be better. Yes. Process of mastery. Watch Leo's video the 10,000 hours rule. – In the beginning I stayed 6-7 hours reading sheet music and learning songs in the beginning you see rapid progress. than you end up on a plateau for a while. Be persistent. Like fitness; the first 5 kilos drop off like in 2 months. then every next kilo takes 6 months! – Now I’m not doing that. – That means I am not interested in it anymore ? see above – Why do I give up everything in my life after awhile because you do not know the process of Mastery and DEliberate Practice. You want quick results. You have got to let that fantasy go. No quick fix, no shortcuts. See the long-term goal. Read some biographies and see how many hours some professionals had to train to become stars. – Shouldn’t I be hungry to learn more music from sheet music or in general ? – WHY THESE THOUGHTS WON’T STOP ? I am trying to bring my awearness up but it doesn’t work in this situation. After I do at least 2 hours of guitar a day I feel at ease. – Do I feel at ease because I’m not playing anymore ? – Does that mean that it is not for me ? – Or is it because I am not used working hard towards something ? – How can I be sure ? do not make it an obligation. Than you will only punish yourself for not doing it. Keep your goal in mind. And love the process. – Why am I not feeling the magic again ? – Am I doing this just for the ego? – Is only the ego making me do this so I don’t just slack off all day and actually do something with my life ? If i remember more i will edit this and let you know i edited it. Also since I started meditating I get confused there as well: – Is this the awearness ? It is normal to get confused and anxious when you start meditating. You start to dig in that rotten mind for the first time. So, if you are going to clean up the attic, you must expect to see some old shit and rotten things you have to get out. At first it wil become even a bigger mess. But stick to it and you will clean up the attic. – How do I know I am aware and I’m not. When you know you are thinking than you are aware. – If I kinda have an image of my body when I pretend to be aware ? – I feel the bad emotions but now they are not really that hard on me. Does it mean I just observe ? Does that mean I am aware ? Be aware and accept the emotions an thoughts. Welcome them. Do not surpress. – What’s the difference between awarness and thought ? When you know you are thinking than you are aware. – Is awarness just a thought ? NOOOOO.
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@Dominik Skupina I don't want to go to much off topic. This thread is still about Zane's happiness list. I did not finish the Life Purpose Course yet. I am polishing the results. And also, if I'd tell you what I am going to do, I'd have to kill you...
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@Dominik Skupina That is one of the topics in the LPC also. How to make money out of your passion. But Leo gives a lot of examples of people making a living of a hobby that is really weird. There is a market for almost everything. You just have to make yourself stand out, make yourself unique, find your niche. And find your market. But also stay realistic. You won't be successful selling snow to Eskimos. You might have to move to another place to do that. Edit: or you might even pull that one off making it Purple, low-carb, sugar-free, gluten-free, purple, blessed-by-a-yogi-snow.
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@Ryan_047 Hmmm. that is a pitty. I did write my journey down. I haven't translated it into English yet. When I do I'd be happy to send it to you. My journey to find my passion was a lot of digging in the past, finding the patterns. I suggest you write your autobiography like I did. And let others wirte how they see you. Chronological write what your life was in terms of school, parents, friends, hobbies, sports, jobs. Then you will see a pattern emerge. I also recommend you start reading books. Buy the Recommended Book list of Actualized.org. Things do not happen overnight. Things will just start clicking. You will have your aha moments. Off course!! moments.
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Eelco1981 replied to rush's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@rush I don't know how it works exactly. I have been meditating for more than two years now. The first weeks all kinds of old hiding memories came up, then there were periods of peace. There were also weeks that meditating brought me nothing but impatience and nervousness. There were also weeks that I did not feel any benefit. After that I experimented with other techniques. Other techniques brought other results and experiences. The thing I learned is how the mind keeps coming up with thoughts I have no control over. The separation between me and my thoughts gets bigger and bigger. In general I become a lot calmer because I do not listen to the mind that often anymore. Listening to the mind creates anxiety, fear, etc. -
Eelco1981 replied to Mppdidi's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Mppdidi I made a video request on the topic of dreams in the section "requests for video's' I am also interested. -
@JoseM Every style of music is an expression of a feeling/emotion. It has energy. Some positive, some negative. I do think it can affect your journey positively and negatively. Depending on where you are in your journey and how you use music. If you use music to escape from your current reality, escape from emotions, or trigger nostalgic memories of the past, you are only making the ego stronger. Identifying with music and the memories it brings you. Worse if you identify with the (negative) lyrics in a song (like "fuck the police", blaming others for your failures). On the other hand, music can motivate you, give you a push in the back to go to the gym or give you energy. Music can bring you concentration also. Sometimes silence is better than music. Sometimes nature's sound IS music. So always be CONSCIOUS of what music you listen to and why. The genre is unimportant; we all have different kinds of music that resonate with us.
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@art Hi! Try to Google "Root Chakra unbalanced muladhara ground physical body earth". Even if you don't 'believe' in chakras, the exercises and visualizations will work! Success!
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Eelco1981 replied to Nexeternity's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
One more question. From your new point of view, is psychology not just another set of concepts far away from the truth? Or is is still practical on a day to day level? -
@Zane I also did the gratitude list exercise. Later it was an assignment in Leo's Life Purpose Course to dig into your past and find the moments when you were most happy. In a flow. Then you begin to recognize a pattern. I am always happy when I am doing This of That. Activities that seemingly have no connection to one another, suddenly click and make sense. That's when you find out WHAT makes you happen. After that, in the Life Purpose Course, you have to do some strengths assessments. Then things begin to click more and more. You see that you are most happy when you are using your strengths. You can read about this theory in books like A....... H........ by M..... S....... from the recommended book list you can purchase at Actualized.org. Once you know what makes you happy (which activities) it becomes easier and easier to make those moments happen, rather than waiting for them to happen spontaneously.