ivankiss

Full entries on pages: 1, 3, 7, 11, 24

Nesto masnije..

@Roy Literally nothing. We had sex like two weeks ago, or so. It was epic. Then, I started approaching other girls and she kinda distanced herself. Is there a direct link? Could be...

@AtheisticNonduality Trust me, looking forward to that, very much. It's just that it was our first time together, and it all happened so fast... so I was not comfortable with cumming inside of her yet.

I feel like fucking something today... U is out of town... J is on her period... V and K are on a festival. On the same festival, actual haha. I hit them both up the same night, a few days ago... D is not an option. I'm grabbing a drink with little dude later in that hot bar. Maybe something happens there.

@Hulia Well, I knew she was mature and reasonable from the get go. Even if we really stop fucking now, I think we'll remain friends. And possibly fuck again somewhere down the line. Spontaneously, when we bump into each-other, on a hot night out - I imagine. @AtheisticNonduality She's on the pill. But also, yeah right The chances are very slim.

Interesting fact I forgot to mention about 'U'. She used to practice pole dancing! And hip hop! Fucking jackpot, baby!

Please... You have been trying to force a relationship onto me since the first page

An epic song comes to mind. Absolutely love this one. I'd like to dedicate it to she who shall not me named. You were my sun, you were my earth But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no So you took a chance, made other plans But I bet you didn't think that they would come crashing down, no You don't have to say, what you did I already know, I found out from him Now there's just no chance With you and me There'll never be Don't it make you sad about it? You told me you love me Why did you leave me all alone Now you tell me you need me When you call me on the phone Girl, I refuse You must have me confused with some other guy The bridges were burned Now it's your turn, to cry Cry me a river Cry me a river Cry me a river Cry me a river You know that they say that somethings are better left unsaid It wasn't like you only talked to him And you know it (Don't act like you don't know it) All of these things people told me Keep messing with my head Should've picked honesty Then you may not have blown it You don't have to say, what you did I already know, I found out from him Now there's just no chance With you and me There'll never be Don't it make you sad about it? You told me you love me Why did you leave me all alone Now you tell me you need me When you call me on the phone Girl, I refuse You must have me confused with some other guy The bridges were burned Now it's your turn, to cry Cry me a river (go on and just) Cry me a river (go on and just) Cry me a river (baby, go on and just) Cry me a river Oh! The damage is done, so I guess I be leaving Oh! The damage is done, so I guess I be leaving Oh! The damage is done, so I guess I be leaving Oh! The damage is done, so I guess I be leaving You don't have to say, what you did I already know, I found out from him Now there's just no chance With you and me There'll never be Don't it make you sad about it? Cry me a river (go on and just) Cry me a river (baby, go on and just) Cry me a river (you can go on and just) Cry me a river Cry me a river (baby, go on and just) Cry me a river (go on and just) Cry me a river (oh, baby, cry) Cry me a river (I don't wanna cry no more) Cry me a river Cry me a river Cry me a river Cry me a river

@Hulia Well, girls usually fall for the wrong things in a guy. At least those are my observations. It's no question they all end up being disappointed. It's because what they're mesmerized by, is not real. Everyone is actually just looking for real. Knowing it or not. There is nothing sexier than real. Nothing more fun. Nothing more magnetic. Yet it can easily fly over one's head. Also, on a side-note; You should not be rooting for me to get into a relationship, because, more likely than not, I'd stop writing in this diary then.

@Hulia I like you. There's is truth in some of what you're saying. But you are speaking to an old pattern within me. Not to me, as a whole. I am well aware of my 'weaknessess'. And I am being careful not to fall in a trap. Your assumptions are outrageous though haha. There are millions of other, young, beautiful, fun, smart girls out there. If I was to miss out on anything, it would be by settling for J. Or worse; going back to my ex.

@Hulia You opened up about never meeting a guy that's handsome and can talk to you and fuck you good. That's new to me. I see now why you were so protective of J. And also; triggered. My ex, however... Has too much personality haha. She's too wild and untamed. She's the definition of a hot mess. Definitely not getting back with her. Not even for just sex.

@Hulia Haha! You finally opened up! That's awesome, thanks. I feel you. Thing is, as I said, J is just not the right girl for me. I'm looking for much, much more than just good sex and long talks in a relationship. I'm kinda glad it's over, too. If it is. I was focusing only on the positives here, but there were also negatives. She's too vanilla, not enough character, confidence, passion and will for life, ambition, vision, depth, courage, etc. She could not follow my steps, for sure. A girl like that quickly becomes boring. Not to sound too harsh or anything, but that's how I feel. J has a big, kind heart. Is hardworking. Gentle, humble and generous. Great listener. But she lacks personality, big time. She does not stand for anything, really.

She's basically just poking me a bit. Testing the waters. Little foxy...

Also... another juicy info... Remember D? My ex? She texted me earlier. All hell breaks loose.

@Roy Feel you, man! And am happy for you! This is all kinda new to me, and it feels like I should get it out of my system.. but I'm sure it's not a long-term thing. Just a phase. It's relevant for me to experience this now. But overall; I'm actually a guy that longs to give his heart (and dick) to one girl, only. Everything at its time.

A few words about J, too. We've been texting a bit earlier... I asked her if she's not into it anymore... and supposedly she still is. But she's also on her period, so she won't be coming over tomorrow, as we planned. I don't really know what to think. I kinda got the feel she's avoiding me, or trying to end things in her own funny little way... dunno. She says she's not. Just tired from work lately and stuff. I'm not sure if I'm buying it. Will see...

Warning: Complete Transparency! I go deep into detail here! Awww yeee! Your boy did it again! Fuck yeah I did. And let me tell you... It was better than ever. Smoother than ever. It was fucking perfect. I suppose I will not be too long on this one... since it was a spontaneous quickie... but still, fear not, there's plenty of magic in here. For starters... Let me just say, that this is one of the, if not the hottest girl I've ever been with. She is absolutely breath-taking. I feel very fucking proud of myself. Build-up It happened yesterday. But I was so damn tired towards the evening that I just collapsed and slept like a baby. I also had a long day ahead of me. So I figured I'll wait till the timing is right. Remember that chick I mentioned that I approached, a few pages ago? Well, she came by my workplace with her friends yesterday, again. We flirted like crazy. Her friends were enjoying the show. Kinda hyping the vibe up, too. They were drinking a bit. I kinda know them all, loosely, through some other group of friends... So, long story short; a massive storm started and we had to close down. It was kinda chaotic. Everyone was running around the place in panic. I got hit in the head by a flying sunshade lol. Nothing serious, thankfully. It was raining like crazy. And this girl... who I will be referring here to as 'U', was wearing a tiny, pink top... and no bra. Jesus fucking Christ. These are, hands down, the most beautiful, God-given titties I ever held in my hands, up until now. They are not the biggest, though they appear large as hell. I'd say, a very, very nice, full B cup. But God damn... The shape... The symmetry... The way how they're so tight and full... Jesus... They are so squishy... Anyways... I derail... U's boobs are absolutely heavenly. Now picture that in rain. With her tiny, cute little nipples all hard. I nearly had a heart attack. So... Here's how magically and effortlessly this happened... I really did not think I'd be having sex that day. It completely caught me off guard... CLIMAX I head home and U and I start texting. I ask her when can I see her. She says they're actually heading towards the coast today, and are not going to be back till next week... but, she also says, she has two or so hours of free time now, before they leave. I got the message, right away. First we talk about grabbing a drink in the city centre, but we quickly cut to the case and agree to meet in my apartment. I take a shower and sparkle my place up a bit. It's just such a cool fuckboi place. I recently did some renovations. It's all fresh and nice. Those last few minutes, before she arrived, I was nearly jumping out of my skin. I mean; I knew there was no way we're not fucking if she steps through that door. And lo and behold, indeed she does. I meet her downstairs. We head up to my apartment. Little action in the elevator. Some touching and kissing. Nothing too wild. We say nearly nothing. But we are fucking each-other with our eyes, hard. Smiling. Giggling. Flirting. And there we are. In my fucking apartment. Just the two of us. Just like that. Out of nowhere. On a shitty, stormy, rainy day, when I just happened to be sent home early. If that's not magic, I don't know what is. I roll a blunt and she soon sits in my lap. She does not smoke, so it's just me this time. I quickly bring up the usual 'I'm not looking for anything serious now' talk, just to make sure we're on the same page, before we completely lose our minds. She says something along the lines of 'yeah, yeah, sure, whatever, I'm not either'. And we start making out. As soon as my hands touch those titties I nearly jizz in my fucking pants, instantly. It was then that I had no doubt left in my mind; these are some special, top notch quality boobs. Haha. Fucking hell man. It makes me wanna cry. That's how good it is. I am absolutely losing my mind over her. She is, you guessed it, totally my type. Like, so, so, so my type. Petite, skinny, gorgeous round butt, out of this world tits, cute as fuck, blonde, short and light. I think she said she's around 50kg. Just perfect. I lift her up. My hands on her butt cheeks, holding her up in the air. She's wearing those incredibly short summer pants. Denim. Half of her ass is out. Like, shit, man. Shit. Too damn hot. We make out some more like this, wildly. It's just like a movie. All the angles were probably jerking off to us, looking down from heaven. Just a lovely scene. I lay her down on my bed. It's dark in the room. Some chill psy trance playing in the background. Led lights under my bed. The vibe is perfect. Her top goes down first. I'll stop praising her boobs now. It's completely pointless for me to say anything more. You get it. They're perfect. I kiss her body. Her neck. Her gorgeous nipples. Her hips and tummy. Her skin smells like honey. I am losing it completely. Yet I am still the one in control. I am the one steering the ship. Off go her panties. She gets kinda shy for a second and says: 'I did not get to shave yet down there', and giggles. It turns me on hard as fuck, instantly. She barely had any hair. And it was so gentle and it smelled so nice... I loved it. I actually prefer if the girl has a little something going on there, above her clit. I find it sexier than when there's nothing. She has just the perfect amount. It invites the animal inside me to step forth. I start eating her out. She's already wet like crazy. Her juices in my mouth. My tongue in her pussy. Hands grabbing her ass. Another thing that stands out with this girl, is that she is a screamer lol. Very, very vocal. So expressive. She does not hold back or filter one bit. She moans as hard as she can. I'm kinda surprised and it maybe even throws me off a bit for a few moments... I did not expect her to be so... free. Maybe it was triggering something inside of me. Might investigate. Anyways... I quickly loose myself in the act. And in the sheer beauty of this girl. And of course, the total awesomeness of what's actually happening. Fuck me, man. Life is so good lately, I'm really humbled. So grateful. Yet so pretentious and arrogant at times. There was no need for me to lube her up. The girl was wet like as wet can be. And also; she is nowhere near as tight as J. This is pretty much what I've been used to. Maybe a bit tighter. That means; there is no need to be super-careful and hold back. I can go all crazy on her, right away. Perfect! I enter her in missionary. Our bodies tightly against one-another. My hands in her hair. We're making out. She has tiny, delicate lips. Loves to bite. I'm hitting hard. In all directions. The dynamics are on point, too. I'm slowing down and accelerating naturally, smoothly. Not an ounce of weirdness or awkwardness in the air. It feels like we've been doing this since forever. We clearly both know how to enjoy some good sex. Soon I flip her around. She loves doggy, she tells me. I tell her I'll show her my special version of it. She's all excited. Her knees together. Head down on the bed. Back strength. Her ass up in the air. Arm behind her back. She's all mine now. I'll fucking rip her apart, she's so fucking hot! I cannot even begin describing how perfect her ass is. A few long licks on her pussy, all the way up to her butthole. It's so yummy. Tiny, pink little hole. I lose no more time. She's nearly begging for it. She too coughs a bit, as soon as I thrust myself into her. It's so hot. I could tell it was a lot for her to take. But she was loving every fucking centimeter of it. I grab her around her waist and start fucking her like a beast. She screams in pleasure. Like, literally screams. She responds to every single move I make, every thrust. I'm sure people heard us. It's hard to have sex any louder than this lol. From here we go to cowgirl position. She rides like a pro. I am in total disbelief. My brain liquefied, pouring out of my ears. Hands on her ass. Hands on her boobs. Hands on her hips and around her waist... Fucking hell man. My heart nearly exploded. I turn her around, and we're in missionary, again. I'm sweating like crazy. Hitting it like a true champ. My hair all wet and in my face. She loves it. She pulls on it. I cum all over her beautiful, pink pussy and her tummy. Nearly collapsed, right away. I completely fucked my breath away. She is in trance, still. Cannot move. Catching her breath. I think she came 3 times. Not sure. It kinda seemed like she was cumming the whole time lol. Definitely a girl that feels deeply and intensely, down there. We get up and laugh. Exchange a few words. We clean up and I roll another joint. We had about 40 minutes left before she had to leave. Yup. You guessed it. Round 2. I go to the toilet and return to the table with my dick half erected. She's sitting there, all naked and divine. I stand next to her, lean down and kiss her. She grabs my dick with her tiny, gentle palms, and starts stroking. She does not have mad skills like J, but she is pretty damn good. Soon, my dick is in her mouth. Jesus Christ. This position is just perfect. Her golden hair in my one arm. The other one on the back of her neck. She's going slow and deep. So damn good. I take control for a few moments and start fucking her mouth. My God. Can it get any better? I pull her up and turn her around. Her one leg on the chair, and I slightly lean her forward on the table. She compliments me briefly about my ability to lead and switch positions so smoothly. I smile. My dick is already inside of her. My eyes melting into her butt cheeks. It's just impossible to believe that such beauty can exist. At least that's how I'm experiencing it. I fuck her in this standing doggy position a bit longer, and then we're on my bed again. Fucking side-ways. Her butt pounding against me. My fingers circling her clit. My other hand squeezing her boobs. I was so fucking close to coming, several times, but I could not. I felt under pressure, because we had limited time left. So I kinda wanted to rush it, and then it's all over. Can't cum that way. So I made peace with cumming only once that day. We cuddle a bit more, talk about how fucking incredible that was and then we clean up and she leaves. Just like that. I mean... What?! This really fucking happened? Haha. Unbelievable. After-thoughts: As I said, I immediately collapsed and fell asleep in utter disbelief. I fucked all my remaining energy away lol. It was a difficult day at work. So yeah... That happened... And I'm not sure what will be happening onwards. Maybe this was a one time thingy, maybe not. I know there's this whole 'hot girls summer' thing going on now, so that makes sense. We texted a bit afterwards, and supposedly, she's up for hooking up next week, when she returns from that trip. I... could not be happier and more satisfied. Fuck yeah, God. Fuck yeah.

One of my all time favorites. I long to live with some celestial beings to adore in silence blissful friends gliding into constellations of their smiles melting into shining eyes chant away the cosmos grace born inside the lotus gold to be at the feet of celestial artists close to the brush of their cosmic strokes churning whispers into melodies of psalm in timeless rhythms, blessed tones chant away the cosmos grace born inside the lotus gold I can live this revelation with magnified devotion magnified devotion magnified devotion... Divine mother Free my mind from all obstacles of delusion And lead me safely to thy shores of fulfillment Awaken within me increasing strength, positive thinking, courage, faith And above all fill my heart With thine unconditional love With thine unconditional joy I want to be closer to higher beings near to touch those divine companions gathering joyfully from the nether world as I go through the portal's fold

Paul Masvidal, anyone? This is one of his old, underground projects. And it's pure sex. And space. I have long been fashioning An inner world of obstacles Between thee and me Shuttered huts of discouragement Barbed wire fences of habit Stone walls of indifference Mountains of indolence And oceans of unfaithfulness I'll plant a seed beneath my feet Someday And breathe into it energy Someday I'll firm its' soil with a dance And pray the sky will shine its' lamp I'll water it with heartfelt love and Someday, I'll awake... I'll pack a bag beneath the stars When someday comes And grip it when the missiles charge When someday comes I'll tend to it with utmost care And open it when I can share A slavery to its' perfection Someday, I'll awake... I'll cry because I have the faith That man can change his ugly ways I'll throwaway the bag and seed For no one owns what we all need I'll begin, without, within Searching, seeking, seeing Endless endeavors

Unless he's rocking a six string bass But yeah. Pretty much facts. Loved it

@RickyFitts it's a whole new world! Appreciate it brother!

First track in the making. I've got some cool oriental melodies going on. God I love harmonic minor... But also; there are some cool euphoric parts, that lock you into an epic trance. Some polyrhythms and syncopations. Lost of big, dramatic symphonies. Cool dynamics. I like where the thing is headed, but I still don't know what's the final product. I keep surprising myself along the way.

Well, that was unexpected. Price dipped like crazy. Absolutely massive sell. Weird, because Fridays are usually fake-outs. Big moves usually happen from Tuesday to Thursday. Rarely on Monday or Friday. That's another reason I exited the trade. I did not want to be caught in a trap. It would have been a massive win. Oh well... Let's hope I get to ride those big waves next week.

@modmyth Very cool! I've been writing my own stuff since I first picked up the guitar. I remember, one of my first songs was actually just me beating the strings with a small kitchen knife haha. I never stopped writing. I'd say I reached a certain level of mastery. But still, there are things that need to be improved. I've been rockin solo for nearly a decade now. As a teenager, I had a few bands, while I was into 80s trash metal haha. It was a very cool experience. All of the members were in their mid twenties, I was 15/16. We played a few bigger shows/festivals, too. Good times. But all of the bands ended up splitting up. Managing a band is no joke. Especially once you get to a certain level of recognition. It's as challenging as having a deeply intimate romantic relationship haha. So yeah, I like going solo. I got used to doing everything on my own, with some help here and there. I'd love to collaborate with awesome session musicians in the future. I'm planning a big comeback with my next release. @Preety_India Cutie ?