ivankiss

The Realization, and I mean The Realization itself, might not bring liberation, right away. In fact; that very same realization can end up being your cage. Its walls are usually made up of the common 'I'm all alone here, everyone is me, or, there is no one here, nothing is real, etc...' Thoughts/beliefs like this might be stuck in a loop; orbiting your awareness for quite some time. And that is but an invitation to let go of realization. Of The Realization. 'Just when the circle is drawn, just then the circle is gone.' Liberation is, in that sense, just a step ahead. It is when Realization fully blossoms into Being. You are no longer the one that has realized Truth. You are (being) Truth. Indeed, there are challenges along this way. Remember 'time'? It's your friend now. Remember 'personality'? Yeah, you've got one now, and it's awesome. Remember all that stuff you proved yourself to be nonexistent? Well, they all exist, after all. Your mother gave you birth. You were bullied in school. All that jazz. Is there anything in you that wants to stand up and tell me how full of shit I am? If yes, that is exactly what's holding you back from liberation. You ventured too deep into the opposite, on a quest to disprove your previously constructed beliefs. It was actually just an unconscious polar response. If you did not make peace with the past, you can believe all you want that it's illusory and it never happened... It will still haunt your ass. And you will keep drowning in the sea of self-deception. There are no shortcuts here. Bottom line is; you must face yourself, fully. Totally and Completely. In pure, divine, all-loving, all-knowing, all-seeing, infinitely intelligent Light. Only then can you become liberated. Only then can you be, as you truly are. Make no mistakes; it is a process. A phase. A path. Completing it will most certainly require of you some courage, faith, commitment, will. Remember; if there is a perceived path, which you are walking... there is also an infinite amount of wrong paths, that could lead to disaster. 'There's only one true path in life... The road that leads to all, leads to One.' Holding onto realization is fear and belief in separation. Ironically. Liberation is too busy being absolutely awesome and badass. It's love, it's freedom, it's unity. It's One.

She's still on my mind... I'm in love lol. This is pretty much exactly her look... except that she's a brunette. Fuck me, man.

I can feel it like it's mine. Like it's literally happening to me as they're sharing. But it's not necessarily that way. I can also feel nothing. Just listen.

Thanks for your input guys. Beautiful. I see you opened up the topic of 'post-awakening'... and I'd say, it's kinda difficult to say anything about it, since it's so unexplored. At least from where I'm standing. A cool analogy comes to mind with the 12 step program. The 13th step being 'post-awakining'. While waking up, along those 12 steps, there is guidance. There are rules, stages, routines, practices... And then, once you take that 13th step... you're all alone, out on the vast, endless, open. Sober. Newborn. The thought of all the endless possibilities can be paralyzing. You are basically free to whatever. And not. If you do choose to engage deeply, I'd say a navigation system is necessary. You need something that will help you stay oriented. In my case... it's my heart. But also; the breath, feelings, thoughts. I also still recieve hints and nudges from 'my higher self' - if you will. Not often, but I do. You become liberated once you come to truly, wholly, unconditionally love yourself. In all of you different forms and shapes. Sizes and dimensions. Shades and densities. Space and time. And far, far, beyond. The answer is always Love.

Thing is, price is already very high, and kinda 'over-extended', so I'm not really comfortable going long here. I'd much rather wait for a reversal. Will give it a few more thoughts. I'm in tune with the market, that's good. Maybe I'm being a bit too timid, still. But I think it's necessary to go nice and slow now. To be careful and on high alert. Later on, once my system is bulletproof, I'm definitely going with a more aggressive approach.

Position closed sometimes late at night, yesterday. Yes, I was drunk, don't judge. It was still a nice profit. Not the biggest, but nevertheless. Market in consolidation phase right now. I might hop onto the train and enter a continuation trade, if I get a solid confirmation. Overall; nice first trade of the week.

I cannot believe I'm actually living this lifestyle now, full on. A few months ago, this was all just an idea in my mind. A 'maybe'. And now I'm deep in it. I definitely gained a lot on confidence with this diary. Things are a lot more clearer. I know exactly what I want and I'm going for it, strong and precise. Approaching ridiculously hot girls is childs play now. I'm beyond satisfied and grateful for what's going down in this bar. It's exactly what I was looking for. And it's only about to get better.

Love this shit tight here. So very relatable. Hey you mrs. I don't know what the fuck your name is I'm drawn to you, something's magnetic here If I could approach you Or even get close to the scent that you left behind I'd be fine No doubt that (no doubt) You bring out (bring out) The animal inside I'd eat you alive I'd eat you alive I'd eat you alive I'd eat you alive Hey you mrs. too good to look my way and that's cool You don't want nothing at all to do with me But I want you, ain't nothin' wrong with, wanting you 'Cause I'm a man and I can think what the hell I want You got that straight? No doubt that (no doubt) I'd love to (I'd love) Sniff on them panties now I'd eat you alive I'd eat you alive I'd eat you alive I'd eat you alive I'm sorry, so sorry (damn you're so hot) You beauty is so vain (damn you're so hot) It drives me, yes, it drives me (damn you're so hot) Absolutely insane I just wanna look at you I just wanna look at you I just wanna look at you, all day There ain't nothing wrong, no There ain't nothing wrong with that Once you seep in (once you seep in) Under my skin (under my skin) There's nothing (nothing), there's nothing (nothing) In this world that could wash you away (wash you away, wash you away) Once you seep in (once you seep in) yeah Under my skin (under my skin) There's nothing (nothing), there's nothing (nothing) In this world that could wash you away (wash you away) I'm sorry, so sorry (damn you're so hot) You beauty is so vain (damn you're so hot) It drives me, yes, it drives me (damn you're so hot) Absolutely insane I'd eat you alive I'd eat you alive I'd eat you alive I'd eat you alive I'd eat you alive

Yesterday... was just insane. We had a great time by the river. I nearly drowned to my death - I kid you not. Then I bonded as fuck with that girl I mentioned. Not gonna lie here, it was love at first sight. I still cannot get her of my mind. She is hands down the most beautiful being I've seen in a very long while. Maybe ever. Picture perfect hourglass body shape... it's just out of this world. Her titties and ass are so gorgeous I wanna kill myself. Cutest face ever. She's into psychedelics and spirituality. We talked so much... Fucking amazing taste in music. We listen to a lot of same stuff. So much bond. So deep. So hard. Later, a few more folks joined us and we all went out for another drink. Then we went to some private party, and then for another drink.. and then, another private party. Where we all finally collapsed. I flirted with this girl, the whole time. Some touching, dirty talk, cuddling... I made it very clear to her that I'm going all crazy about her. She loved it. I told her I'd take her home right away and she said a big part of her would go... but... she has a fucking boyfriend. God fucking damnit! She even said she's having a very difficult time resisting me... So in other words; I nearly had my dick inside of her lol. It burns so bad... So close, yet so far away. Absolutely, ridiculously perfect girl. She's down for hanging out more often... even at my place, she said. She lives close to me. So yeah... you never know. Things in her relationship are not wonderful as I heard. I'd give my everything for this girl lol. Makes me wanna cry she's so damn hot.

Just got her number. She's got a beautiful name. And has access to 5-meo, lsd, ect. Fucking YES!

Well this is fucking unbelievable. Me and little dude went out for a coffee in that hot bar. A bunch of awesome people were at out table... and then, we ended up alone with tho incredibly hot, kinda trashy, alternative-looking chicks. We smoked, laughed, bonded. Then we came up with a very spontaneous idea to go for a swim in a local river. What?! Is this real life? One of the girls is so so so my type. She is sitting right across me and is rocking a mini skirt. I can see her panties nice and clear. Holy mother fucking shit. We're going into a fast shopping spree now, as we all miss some stuff. And then.. we're heading down to the riverside. Good Lord!

In nice profit already. Holding and monitoring.

Position opened on Monday, 3:27PM ATR: 22.28 Chart: daily

Samo što nisam... (convo between me and Serbian Beauty)

Moving around the average asking price. Not a smart place to place a position. Waiting for any indication.

Turns out... the fight I got into... broke out because of Serbian Beauty. Dun dun duuun!

Things between me and her are getting very, very interesting. But, it's all still too abstract. Will share more soon, as the story unfolds. Very hot, to say the least.

@Gregory1 Sorry Nope. No stocks. Forex, metals, occasionally oil. I've mentioned that here already, btw.

In short... You're God... so what?

@Swarnim Very cool. Thanks for sharing. I guess, in this post, I just wanted to point out a trap along the journey. All realizations must eventually be let go of. And in that sense; Realization is not the 'end all be all'.

@Knowledge Hoarder Indeed Thanks brother! Keep rockin'!

Fun info; All three of us faked our covid tests last night to get into the club. It worked. The place was absolutely full of hotties. Heaven.

And the road becomes my bride I have stripped of all but pride So in her I do confide And she keeps me satisfied Gives me all I need And with dust in throat I crave Only knowledge will I save To this game you stay a slave Rover, wanderer Nomad, vagabond Call me what you will But I'll take my time anywhere Free to speak my mind anywhere Never find anywhere Anywhere I may roam Where I lay my head is home And the earth becomes my throne I adapt to the unknown Under wandering stars I've grown By myself but not alone I ask no one And my ties are severed clean The less I have the more I gain Off the beaten path I reign Rover wanderer Nomad vagabond Call me what you will But I'll take my time anywhere I'm free to speak my mind anywhere Nevermind anywhere Anywhere I may roam Where I lay my head is home But I'll take my time anywhere Free to speak my mind Nevemind anywhere Anywhere I may roam Where I lay my head is home But I'll take my time anywhere Free to speak my mind anywhere Nevemind anywhere Anywhere I may roam Where I lay my head is home Carved upon my stone My body lie, but still I roam yeah yeah Wherever I may roam Wherever I may roam Wherever I may roam Wherever I may wander (Wander, wander) Wherever I may roam

YES!

Definitely feeling them ribs today haha! Especially when I cough or laugh. But it's not too bad. Not gonna lie, somewhere in the back of my mind, this was exactly what I wanted. It's been forever since I last got into a fight. And it felt pretty damn god. I felt no fear whatsoever. I mean, it's not like I was looking for trouble... The dude clearly got triggered out of nowhere. It completely caught me off guard. But I'm also kinda glad it happened. Fights are common in this club... and this city in general... so it's good that I've shown some teeth. Now everyone knows I can both take and throw a hit. Though I really don't want to be that guy, who gets into fights always. Not at all. I aim to have fun there and pick up girls. But the thing is; a lot of drunk, desperate dudes, who do not get laid that often, have a problem with that, obviously. It's kinda understandable, too. I was definitely very loud yesterday. Lots of eyes on me and our table. I might've been a bit too all over the place. Dramatic, theatrical. I was putting on a show. Can't help it... it comes natural to me. So in that sense; I kinda deserved that hit, I guess. All is cool... as I said; later on I approached the guy and we talked it out, hugged and said sorry. The only thing was, that I had to leave the club. So I fucking ruined my chances with that girl. I still cannot stop thinking of her. She was ridiculously gorgeous. Things between Serbian Beauty and me were very, very hot, too. We made out and danced like crazy. Again; we were the main attraction in the club. Lots of heat. But... she also ended up making out with some Italian dude later on. She stayed there with him when they threw me out. So yeah... I think it's just a matter of time and place... it's happening. We're fucking on some point, for sure. Because what happened last night was fucking wild! The three of us grabbed some coffee earlier. Everything is cool. No weirdness whatsoever.