ivankiss

Fuck. The longer I think about it, the more appealing it gets. It resonates hard as fuck. I even got a boner earlier. Mainly, I'm excited about all the money I could earn there. I'd definitely level up much, much faster. I'd get my little 'glow-up' that I've been wanting for a while now. Then.. I'd also get to perfect my Italian. It's quite shaky atm. Meanwhile; I'd be speaking a lot in English, too. Which is another big desire of mine. I love expressing myself in English. Sometimes it feels much more natural and free. Other times it's a bit limiting. What else... hmm.. Italians have a great sense for fashion. And I like that bizz. I also like how passionate they are when they communicate. I never had sex with an Italian girl... I imagine it would be insane. I also just dig there way of living in general. They seem to be quite a bit more warm and outgoing than the people where I'm at now. I spent some time in Italy already. It was always very nice. So yeah... I'd say Italy is still plan B, so of now. I definitely must sleep on the idea. But tomorrow I'm planning on making a few very crucial moves here... which may affect my decision about moving. Man... Life is fucking good.

Ho-ho-holly fuck! I just had the weirdest but most brilliant idea. Should I move to Italy? Like, very soon? That could be so, so, so much fun. I could earn some real nice money. I'd be living by the beatch. Not to mention how ridiculously hot Italian women are. This might not be the place for it, but whatever, I'll share anyways... I have a vision, a plan in this city that I'm in right now. And later on I was planning on moving somewhere else anyways... But, if I see that things are not exactly working out, I might just give Italy a go! Exciting times!

WHAT I LEARNED So, as I said, I view this last event as a very important threshold that I crossed. I had a very nice momentum built up. These past few months were filled with action. Both in my bedroom and outside of it. In a sense, I did not really learn anything. I knew all this stuff I'm about to mention. But I had the desire, almost the urge, to prove to myself that that indeed is the case. I needed to see myself in that Light again. To remember myself. To experience myself in that role. And that is, what I feel like I achieved that night, fully. It happened on multiple levels of being. It was like a chain-reaction. So basically, I learned that I indeed am very, very good with women. I learned that I need nothing else but to be myself, in order to have pretty much any girl I want. My ex made me doubt that, hard. Haha! In a sense; all of this was about reclaiming my manliness, or masculinity - if you will. Desirability. Sexual market value. I wanted to prove to myself that I can set my eyes on an absolute hottie, and win her. Not gonna lie, it's so much more sweeter that she played the 'chase me' game. I guess it would not be that glorious if I banged her the first night I met her lol. But also, besides her, I approached quite a few girls in this period. Some ridiculously hot, others a bit less, but still, very hot. I had so much success and things worked in my favor so much it's kinda hard to believe. It was just magical. No other way of putting it. Two or three girls rejected me, because they had boyfriends. And they all had a hard time saying 'no'. So I guess it could be said that my 'win rate' is unrealistic so far lol. I regained my confidence, definitely. Self-esteem, worthiness, all that jazz. All that I was stripped off of in my previous relationship. It was a very fun way of bringing myself back to life. The speed, the thrill, the joy, the euphoria. Long nights of sex and talk. Fast car rides into the unknown. All epic. All fantastic. But not the end all be all. It's a side dish. Better yet; a desert. There's other stuff that I value much deeper, that I want to bring awareness to now. I was also reminded of just how reckless and careless and chaotic I can get, if I loose myself in the moment too much, too hard. I must be more responsible and considerate with my actions. With great power comes great responsibility, and all that jazz. So what I feel I'm being called to do now, is focus on self-improvement and self-care a bit more. I want to focus more on my LP and finances. As well as my health and fitness. That doesn't mean I'm saying 'no' to sex or anything.. it's just going to be a bit of a background thing now. Unless... Life has other plans with me.

@Knowledge Hoarder He's a virgin, he acts like one. I talked to him a lot about all that stuff... I get his point of view. He has a great language with girls and is very outgoing. But fails to take things to that sexual level. So he gets friendzoned constantly. But hey... at least he gets to hang out with all those hotties Thanks, btw.

Little dude stopped by briefly. We had the talk. I told him I need some off time now, to focus on other areas of life. He understood. What a ride.

Here are some reasons why I would not like to hang out so much with them anymore: I'm spending too much time, money and energy I'm not focusing enough on my LP Little dude is a 19 year old virgin. There's not much we can talk about besides girls. He knows a lot of people, so that's cool, but I would not like to have him constantly tied to me. Now that I banged Serbian Beauty, I kinda feel like I extracted what I wanted from this dynamic I'd like to hang out with folks that live a bit less chaotic and dramatic lifestyle, too I'm drinking and smoking more than I usually would It's knocking me off my balance I'm not saying I want to cut them out completely.. I just want to moderate the dynamic. Slow things down a bit. This last acceleration was absolutely ridiculous. It feels like I lived through at least a year worth of experiences in a matter of two weeks. I absolutely cannot recognize myself looking back. Crazy!

Little dude just called. They want to catch up. I think I'll have to have the talk with him... I must take a break now. He's been hitting me up pretty much every day since we met. Serbian Beauty was with him, of course. She was banging this song in the background and yelling for me to come join them lol. I think this is officially mine and Serbian Beauty's song now. https://youtu.be/1TvjJaMj4Es

Warning: Complete Transparency! I go deep into detail here! Well, I think I proved to myself something very important last night. I think this represents a big breakthrough. I feel like a totally new chapter of my life has started. Build-up I was not feeling like going all crazy last night. I remember even having second thoughts about going out at all. I had no expectations for the night... and I also was not in the mood for picking up girls. Just wanted to have a drink or two and then go home. Little dude picked me up around 10PM. Sadly, we had to skip the concert. All the tickets were sold. So the two of us went straight to that hot bar and settled down there. Serbian Beauty and a few other folks joined us a bit later. While we were alone, little dude and I spoke about girls, mostly. And how awesome it would be if I was to finally bang Serbian Beauty. I was pretty open about my intentions from the get go. He knew I wanted to fuck her bad. And he was kinda supportive, too. He said he'd much rather see her fuck me than those sketchy dudes she has been seeing lately lol. So yeah, the air is clear between me and him. Soon, everyone arrives and we start drinking like there's no tomorrow. They would not let me slip away with just a drink or two... they made it clear to me they want to get me shitfaced, because it's my birthday and stuff. So I kinda went with it. We're having an amazing time. Laughing, talking, singing... The vibe in the bar is just perfect. It's a bit crowded, but not too much. Lots of foreigners around our table, too. Serbian Beauty and I are flirting here and there. Nothing too wild. I really did not plan on making a move on her that night. I knew it's likely she'll disappear at some point of the night. But she did not. She was with us the whole time. Soon, we called a taxi and went to a nearby club. The place was full of hotties. Cool music. Great vibes. Here, things between me and her get a bit hotter. We were dancing and making out pretty much the entire time. Occasionally going out for a break, to catch some air. Her body is just so delicate and fragile. She's so damn thin. Not sure if she has 45kg in her. Not an ounce of far. It's all tight and sporty. My hands were on her belly most of the times. So smooth, so gentle. I was also grabbing her thighs and ass, here and there. She loved it. We were absolutely on fire. Thankfully, I did not get into a fight this time around lol. So there was nothing that could ruin my game. We drank God knows how much and God knows what. I spent quite some money. We lost and found a bunch of stuff in-between. Like usual. Little dude went home first. Then a few others, as well. It was just me, Serbian Beauty and another very cool dude from Serbia, that I recently met. We all agreed to call a taxi and go to my place. I still had some whiskey at home. It was around 5AM at that point. It was then that I was pretty sure that I'm having sex with Serbian Beauty. The chances of it not happening were very slim. CLIMAX We arrive to my place and immediately go all crazy and chaotic. Thank God no one called the cops. We were as loud as it gets. Lots of singing to epic, heartfelt music. We all opened up a lot and bonded pretty hard. At some point the vibe got very intimate and we all started crying because of our exes haha! It was very beautiful. Soon, Serbian Beauty was on my bed and I was giving her a nice, little massage. Little dude told her I have a diploma. She was eager to test me out. Thankfully, this Serbian dude got the message pretty quick, called a taxi and went home. Leaving me and Serbian Beauty all alone. Fuck yes! It was finally happening! I had my eyes on this girl for quite some time now... not gonna lie, it feels fucking great that I scored. I'm very proud of myself. So satisfying. I proceed to give her a full body massage. I nearly had a heart-attack pulling her leggings down. The most perfect, magnificent, gorgeous, little, heart-shaped butt. On her right butt cheek a tattoo that says 'Yes Sir', and right above her as a tattoo that says 'Love Me'. Fuck me sideways, man. Jesus fucking Christ. What an absolutely smoking hot girl. 10/10. For sure. I bury my face in that ass, as deep as possible. I start losing myself in the taste of her yummy, little pussy. Her juices all over my face. My hands on her ass. She's not too vocal. I like it. I enter her from behind. She's laying down on her belly. Not nearly as tight as J or anything. But I ain't complaining. I only wish we were not that drunk. I could barely hold myself up. Plus I was kinda desensitized. But I could not let this opportunity slip between my fingers. I had to fuck her now. Who knows if I was to get another chance with her... I'm hitting pretty damn hard. Not holding back, one bit. I'm pulling her hair and slapping that juicy little butt. She's loving it. I flip her around and eat her out some more. My God. I cannot believe I'm actually doing this. She's just so damn beautiful. So petite. So my type. Very, very small titties. She was enjoying me sucking her nipples a lot, I could tell. I kissed her neck a lot. We made out passionately. It was just like a movie. I fucked her in missionary, and then some more side-ways. It was great. But we were so damn drunk we had to stop and take a break. We had a short round two and then we passed out for a bit. Once we woke up, we cuddled a bit and talked and then little dude came and brought us all coffee. How nice of him. I met him downstairs and he immediately asked me did I smash... I could tell it was a bit painful for him, but he was cool with it. We talked about last night a bit, laughed and then they both left. After-thoughts: This was definitely the pinnacle of this adventure of mine, so far. Massive win. As I said, the only way it could have been better, is if we were not totally shitfaced. Neither one of us came. The sex itself was pretty damn great, but not as great as it could be if we were to be more sober. I really hope she comes over one of these days. Though I know it's really hard to get a hold of her. She's all over the place, non stop. It's hard to catch her. And she definitely loves being chased around. Overall; a fucking beautiful birthday present. Lovely night. Awesome sex. Great times. I think I'm going to hit the breaks a bit now, regarding this lifestyle. I've been living fast as fuck lately. Going out a lot. Meeting new people, going places... I think it's time to retrieve a bit and rest. I definitely got what I wanted. And much, much more.

This was absolutely out of this world. She just left my place. I cannot even begin to articulate everything that went down. It's just too much to put into words right now. I'm also about to collapse any moment now. So yeah... full report of the night coming soon. But let me tell you.. it was one of the best nights of my life. Ever watched that movie 'the hangover'? The night had very similar vibes lol. Happy fucking birthday, indeed.

Just had sex with Serbian Beauty! Jackpot! Taking breath for round two!

Sve je isto ko i lani Samo srce moje i srce tvoje U ljubavi više ne stoje (D<3)

Guess what?! All the starts aligned, once again! I just found out, fucking Bijelo Dugme is playing a live show in the city center tonight! I'm a huge fan. It's my first time ever seeing them. Me, little dude, Serbian Beauty and a few other folks are all going. But here's the magical part... At midnight... it's my birthday, baby! Anything can happen!

@RickyFitts Trust me, I'm just as eager to see this finally come to life. Very soon!

Trade closed with a small profit out of caution. Price was acting suspicious. It bounced back several times from the support level. It just would not break through. Waiting for any solid indication. If this really turns out to be a reversal, there is no need to rush. I definitely don't need to be the first one entering the train. Plenty of time to join the trend.

False alarm. It's not that bad, after all. She said she should be able to come over on Saturday.

I also texted with U a bit yesterday. She got into a nasty accident and is having a surgery today. Some drunken dude threw a glass in her legs... she got injured bad. Poor soul. And what a total dick that dude... So yeah, I imagine I won't be seeing U for a while.

So, yesterday Serbian Beauty hit me up. We had a short video chat. It kinda surprised me that she called. She said she might come over for a blunt, and then ghosted my ass. What a tease... Then, I went out with two good friends, and at some point of the night, that girl I made out with in that club, on the night that I got into a fight, texted me too. But, soon she ghosted my ass, as well. Wtf? What is up with these girls? Hitting me up first and then disappearing on me? Is that a tactic, a strategy of some sort? Rude.

Ahh, man.. it's so heavenly! Feels so right!

I got it! I got, I got it, I fucking got it! My sound is born! Planning a long writing session today... The stuff that's coming through is incredible!

In very nice profit, already.

Beautiful entry. This could be a huge winner. But I think I'll have to hold a bit longer for that.

Position opened on Wednesday, 4:45PM ATR: 24.91 Chart: Daily

This song always had a special place in my heart. Dunno why. It's kinda dark and twisted, but knowing JD's story and his pov, I think it's fucking awesome how he expressed things. Kinda relatable. And of course... S is a big Korn fan, too. How did it start? Well, I don't know I just feel the craving I see the flesh and it smells fresh And it's just there for the taking These little girls They make me feel so goddamn exhilarated I fill them up, I can't give it up The pain that I'm just erasing I tell my lies and I despise every second I'm with you So I run away and you still stay So what the fuck is with you? Your feelings, I can't help but rape them I'm sorry, I don't feel the same My heart inside is constantly hating I'm sorry, I just throw you away I don't know why I'm so fucking cold I don't know why it hurts me All I wanna do is get with you And make the pain go away Why do I have a conscience? All it does is fuck with me Why do I have this torment? All I wanna do is fuck it away I tell my lies and I despise every second I'm with you So I run away and you still stay So what the fuck is with you? Your feelings, I can't help but rape them I'm sorry, I don't feel the same My heart inside is constantly hating I'm sorry, I just throw you away I tell my lies and I despise every second I'm with you I run away and you still stay So what the fuck is with you? Your feelings, I can't help but rape them I'm sorry, I don't feel the same My heart inside is constantly hating I'm sorry, I just throw you away (I hate) just thrown you away (I) just thrown you away (I) just thrown you away (I) just thrown you away

I got it all, obviously. And I also got nothing. Look at it as you wish. Basically, man, you are just free. Whatever you want - you can.

Yup... She's still on my mind. I might as well start referring to her as 'S'. I'm sure I will be mentioning her more. I'm kinda getting obsessed lol. I'm sitting here and I'm getting flashbacks of that day/night... So here's a few interesting lines between me and S that I remembered (in no particular order): I: Are you always this fucking hot, this casually, or is it a special occasion?' S: *smiling* 'You did not see anything yet...' S: 'I have a very high tolerance for pain.' I: 'I'll be the judge of that.' *massive eye-fuck* I: ' I swear I'd take you home right now, and have you just for myself, for the rest of the night.' S: 'I'm very labile, so be careful. Especially if you keep talking with that deep voice into my ear.' I: 'Well.. I might just take advantage of that.' *more eye-fuck, touching, cuddling* The whole time we were very close to each-other. Very intimate vibes. We whispered into each-other's ears, mostly. Depending on how loud the music was lol. Which was, absolutely epic too, btw. Mainly dnb. And that's just some of the flirting that was going down between us two. I won't even go into all the talk we had about music, spirituality, drugs, relationships, and just life in general. This was a massive tease, God. You really got me all hyped up.. and then, nothing. I truly hope the story between me and her does not end here, God. I know you hear me. I'm counting on your magic lol.