ivankiss

IGNOMINIOUS AND PALE If it is to be only An element of a whole To hide behind others And form the eclipse of mind Ignominious and Pale If it were to one Having nothing to tell This would equal A state of being the one Ignominious and pale Fallen in the abyss of indignity Doubt does not exist Or come into being Pale Incarceration of personality Is the sad inception of self-denial The one that denies the inner self Flees into deception Incarceration of personality Is the sad inception of self-denial

NEBULOUS Drowned in this screaming silence Embraced by shadows, they tear me The wormholes free my eyes The blood boils - it knows My thoughts burn as minds liquify, vaporize Reality scorched by this fixed state All beginnings slain by ends I seep down into the black to breathe Drifting to merge with the past My tongue licks the residue of the future Bitter taste, the wombs of claws call me Filth rips them open. The stillborn start to move Lidless eyes twitching beneath a sheet of rot They reach out, they want to kiss - It matters not In dreams it speaks to me of the truth that means reality

CLOCKWORKS Dismantling the clockwork that makes me the cynic Pallet, wheel and click The properties of my indifference Reverse-engineering what makes it tick Dissecting the fine-tuned mechanism Rack and barrel, spring and pin Its synchronous characteristics To kill what makes it spin Disassemble this machinery Re-program these eyes, undo this design Labelled and filed, each part indexed Broken to pieces then thoroughly burned Deconstruction of what I am Buried to make sure he never returns Taken apart, defused, blueprints turned to ashes Eradicate the last remains, remnants of the insane Disintegration, the destruction of me now imperative To purge myself of this condition, complete this dissolution a necessity Break this deceitful machine A lie, what once I was, obsolete instrument An outmoded contraption, a malfunctioning device That callous self now extinguished, that malignant self now disused That conceited invention to nothing now reduced Complete disintegration, the destruction of me now imperative To purge myself of this condition, complete this dissolution a necessity Break this deceitful machine

First day at job was a walk in a park. I genuinely enjoyed it. Interesting methods of payment, too. I like. Worked 9 hours today, time flew by like nothing. Did not get tired or stressed, whatsoever. That's huge. That means I will be having plenty of space and will to simultaneously practice stuff that truly matters to me. Music, trading, writing, consciousness stuff, sex, ect. Basically; I am my own boss. I can work as much or as little as I want. This job should be great for this phase. I'm sticking with it. Unless or until an even better opportunity comes by. At the end of the day, it's still a dead end job, and there is no room for my creativity, my genius, my full potential to blossom here... So it's not like I'm planning on staying for too long... But it should do the trick for now. Not gonna lie, this shift from CR to WR is kinda bittersweet. It's great that I'm moving forward, but it's a scary ride. I must let go of a lot of 'things', fast. About to mediate a bit, do some cleansings and relax. The rest of the night; unscripted.

Buying a new car within the next 3 months, or less. It comes with the WR package. Once I reach my DR, I'm selling it for a small profit and buying my dream car.

Jub secured. I'm satisfied with the choice. Starting tomorrow morning.

It is crucial to listen to pure waves, only. If there are other sounds present, the mind becomes distracted from matching the frequency.

A short meditation at 100bpm. Ratio 1:1. Alpha waves. Going out soon.

Well, that was a fun little ride. Nice contemplation. Wonderful meditation. Powerful visualization. Some bonus insights. Feeling grateful and at ease. Calling it for today. Shifting from Theta to Delta waves. Off to bed, slowly. God is gracious.

In my current understanding; a belief is a crystallized point of view. It is a lense. A distortion. In theory; all I have to do is look at it from another angle, and it should dissolve in that Light.

The answer is: At Will. Of course. I can alter the frequency at will. But there is a polar response to that action. An automatic pull in the opposite direction. It is a belief that says that it's not possible. Interesting.

This current perceived timeline is a singular frequency. I have access to the source of it. The generator. It's only a few steps away from where I'm at right now - so to speak. But, I do not know how to manipulate, change or alter the frequency directly via consciousness. Not entirely. Unexplored territory.

There is some tuning that needs to be done on this instrument, but overall, the intonation is already pretty good. Not too much side-noise, buzz or distortion. The notes are loud and clear. The dynamics I can get with it are great, too. Mainly noticing signs of neglect, and to that the answer is love and care. Warmth. Should play like new, in no time.

Anchoring higher consciousness, right now. Heart - rate is precisely at 78bmp. Incredible. Body aligned and relaxed. The Breath moves through effortlessly. There was a disconnection in the solar plexus area. A contraction. Worked my way through it, nice and easy. Chest is brought forward and aligned, too. A sweet insight during the ascension; visualization works best when close to death. Picture it clearly, and give up The Breath.

About to do a short meditation with the metronome. Slowing down. Diving deeper. Tempo: 78bmp Ratio: 1 for 1 Including into the session some of those tasty, pure Theta Waves. Visualisation.

A very pleasant walk and brief interaction with a friend. Back at the base. Feeling loved and supported. Abundant. At times I get this urge to fast forward through life, and skip the boring parts of this transformation. I feel so close to my DR, but it's still quite far away. I know this will take some time to unfold. Feeling confident about securing that job tomorrow and slowly stepping into the WR. It's a room with a nice view.

Order. Clarity. Everything is put in its place. No disturbance. Feeling fresh and beautiful. Calm. Centered. Going for that walk right now. I might see a familiar face.

That went quite deep, quite fast. Some tears were shed. Feeling much lighter, calmer. About to do a short meditation session, and then I've got some organisation work to do. The rest of the day is dedicated to relaxation, self-care, creativity, maybe some socialization. Might go for a nice, long walk.

You, who are out there, far, gazing at the same stars, howling at the same moon, as others before you once did, and those yet to come, shall too - I see You, and I love You. We are One in Heart, One in Mind. Blessed be your name. Heros are real. Their magic is frozen in time.

AS DEATH EMBRACES Forgive my daily sins Seal them under my skin For once I watched you fly Leaving your wings behind The path of fate has gone astray The brightest skies have turned to grey

So many memories tied to these songs... I'm on an airplane, 5 years ago, flying straight into my DR. Listening to all this incredible music. Completely unaware of the magnitude... the sheer epicness, that was ahead of me. It was unimaginable. I planted many seeds in all these songs for myself. I left tons of messages. It all secured a fast and rather intense awakening experience. Clearly; a work of a mastermind. Regarding the script... I do not want to superimpose, overlay, or force concepts upon one-another. I do not want to paint across an old painting. It only makes sense to whipe stuff out. I need more space. Space to fill with clarity. Letting go is not an issue. But man do I feel the pain of loss deeply... I guess it's just the price I pay for being so invested. The Sun is out, life is just outside of my window. I'll join in, any time now. But first; I sit with Death a bit more.

MARIGOLD Take it all I never needed any more Than days on days and gentle nights When nothing could stop me Keep it safe Take its secrets to the grave When I was the king Just for that one day When nothing could stop me Feed my soul Force a smile, ignore the hole Wishing like hell that I was still god With nothing above me Read my eyes Weary lines Taking what's mine Just soil below and nothing above me Feed my soul Marigold And I'd rather starve than choke what's killing me down Give me heresy We were never told the truth The world that spoke, calm these hands Before they can reach your throat Give me eyes to see her never growing old Good news They hope you choke Take heart It's all fool's gold... Leave me there Pockets full of empty air Paying my penance, curse this prayer Regret never touched me 'Cause she will stay Dressed in choices that I made Head like a king, but crown like a gravestone Don't touch me Feed my soul Marigold And I'd rather starve than choke what's killing me down Give me heresy We were never told the truth The world that spoke, calm these hands Before they can reach your throat Give me eyes to see her never growing old Good news They hope you choke Take heart It's all fool's gold... With these hands, I could change the world More than gold, more than I deserve I'm a wealthy man, I am loved Tell me hope's not lost Soon you'll see I can't take it with me When to nothing I fade, gone, borne by the choices I made I'm a wealthy man, I am loved Tell me hope's not lost Soon you'll see I can't take it with me When to nothing I fade, gone, borne by the choices I made Wake up, wake up, and soon you'll see that all hope is not lost Not gone

THE NOOSE

@Waken Cool! Eager to hear some!

INTO THE WHITE Into the white The scent of fire behind First steps to freedom Are lighter than we ever knew Called through the cold We hold our daughters close And sing to our sons Change will surely come Into the white Broken faith leaves scars behind We embrace them Carry broken shackles by our side Called through the cold We hold our daughters close And sing to our sons Change will surely come We left our prayers with our old gods White hand, release Leaves in the fading smoke So easy to forget The voice that never spoke Walking our own road Each step, each breath We are fighting for our lives And we are losing every one The things we gave up for a dream We are still waiting for And still we hold on In time Into the white The road is mine, and I am his Our last steps as free men Proud at the end It comes to this Called through the cold Road to a home we'll never know We gave to our sons A heavy burdened hope We left our prayers with our old gods Hold on Till dawn Lost like our steps in snow So easy to forget the way The road we make, we own Walking our own road Each step, each breath We are fighting for our lives And we are losing every one The things we gave up for a dream We are still waiting for We were so young then Firelight holds their peace Sing a farewell by smoke in the cold We farewell the old As they fall As they fall Into silence As they fall to silence Fall Into silence As they fall to silence To silence