ivankiss

How can you know Love is Absolute, right this moment? You breathe. You are. That's how. But also; simply because you can never really, truly not be, can you? Or not see yourself? Or not feel yourself? Think yourself? You cannot not love yourself, ever. You can only try really, really hard not to. But it can never actually be. Because... Love is Absolute.

Significant shift in baseline since I arrived here. I feel grounded. At peace. I'm sitting on the balcony, gazing at the stars. There is romance in the air. The excitement is huge, but somehow, it's tamed and not too all over the place. It's not pulling me out of myself. There is a sense of balance. Harmony. Unity. There is also diversity, and the opportunity for it to shine bright. There is deeper wisdom behind my every step now. The jump is just enough significant for it to be clear: As never before - I am now.

NEBULOUS You're the only one Who can save what remains Give us one more sign You're the only one Who cannot be insane Watching through your eyes Turn the night into day Hear our echoes You must give yourself away To leave us and go All is coming true Nothing cannot be lost Come to our rescue Come to deliver us Turn the night into day Hear our echoes You must give yourself away To leave us and go You're the only one Who can save what remains Watching through you eyes We can all see the main Turn the night into day Hear our echoes You must give yourself away To leave us and go You're the only one Who can save what remains Give us one more sign

Oh Dear God... Them feels. I think I just entered a super-state. I can experience two or more seemingly opposite realities at once. I can feel the deepest sadness of The Universe, and simultaneously be totally blissed out and drunk on Love. It is mind-blowing - to say the least. Italy is fucking incredible. It is reminding me a lot of the times I've spent in Portugal/Spain. Very similar vibes. I am absolutely loving it. There are sacrifices that need to be made, if I wish to move here. But something tells me; it would be fucking worth it.

A STRANGER Cast the calming apple Up and over satellites To draw out the timid wild one To convince you it's alright And I listen for the whisper Of your sweet insanity While I formulate denials Of your affect on me You're a stranger So what do I care You vanish today Not the first time I hear All the lies What am I to do with all this silence Shy away, shy away phantom Run away terrified child Won't you move away you fucking tornado I'm better off without you Tearing my will down

@Gabith Awesome, thanks!

High is the way, but all eyes are upon the ground You are the light and the way that they'll only read about

Doing a few rounds with a ratio of 1:2, for extra deep relaxation.

Meditation at 72bpm. Theta waves. Heart-rate already synchronized with the tempo. Breathing nice and deep, with easy. The pathway is clear. Mind, heart and gut aligned, connected.

SONG OF I I'm truly sorry but This is my addiction You're deep in my system In my system I gave it all up I gave it up to show you that I care To show you that I could But don't you ever ask me to give up you I gave up all the late nights I gave up hunting bars I gave up all the drinking And trashing all the cars I gave it all up I gave up all the gambling I gave up picking fights I gave up saying sorry I gave up being polite I gave it up I gave it all up I gave it up You are mine I gave it all up I gave it up You're in mind I gave it up I gave it up I gave it all up I gave it up I gave it all up I gave it up You're in mind I gave it up I gave it up You're in mind I gave it up T'es sous le sable T'es dans l'eau I gave it up Gave it up J'abandonne You're in mind You're in, you're in mind I gave it up You're in mind You're in mind

BUTTERFLIES AND HURRICANES Change everything you are And everything you were Your number has been called Fights and battles have begun Revenge will surely come Your hard times are ahead Best, you've got to be the best You've got to change the world And use this chance to be heard Your time is now Change everything you are And everything you were Your number has been called Fights and battles have begun Revenge will surely come Your hard times are ahead Best, you've got to be the best You've got to change the world And use this chance to be heard Your time is now Don't let yourself down Don't let yourself go Your last chance has arrived Best, you've got to be the best You've got to be the best You've got to change the world And use this chance to be heard Your time is now

These accelerations are getting ridiculous now. The shifts and jumps are so obvious, it's crazy. That is; if I was to compere. And if there was anything to be compared. I cannot even begin to imagine how stupid good things will get once I reach my DR.

Italy could be the perfect WR. No doubt about it. In theory, it seems dreamy. But I'm not sure how practical it is. I must do some calculations. Give it a few more thoughts. Look at it from a few more angles. A deep sense of peace, safety and comfort.

LUMINARY You could raise the dead With those terribly troublesome eyes Maybe you'll always be bad Maybe you'll always be the same Are you alone, locked inside That prison in your head? You walk through the crowd Lost in the sound Invisible to every passing eye This waking life is not what it seems to be No time to talk, no air to breathe Reminisce the scent of a single flower What butchers cleave, the wolves devour But if you consume it you will surely die When you're buried with your tenderness You'll drag it to your solitary grave Are you alone, locked inside The prison of your mind? You walk through the crowd Lost in the sound Invisible to every passing eye Invisible to every passing eye

SMILE Calm down, don't run again I'll soothe you, I'm mechanical Brave soldier, kill again Before we all expire Think for yourself And be the renegade Don't give in to him And his ugly ways I can feel you getting closer I can sense you start to smile I see colossal eyes There's a shadow on the sun And no wonder why Drain all the sick away You've proven you are an animal Stalking me, you are a mannequin Your form is menacing This is another one of his ways To control me I can feel you getting closer I can sense you start to smile I see colossal eyes There's a shadow on the sun And no wonder why

There seems to be so much more love in the air here. The atmosphere is much warmer. There's couples kissing on every few steps. People know how to enjoy themselves here. And are not ashamed of it. They're open and outgoing. Friendly. I'm in love with the architecture. The food is amazing, and women are absolutely gorgeous. I'm at the Seaside now. The lightning is just perfect. Nice music. The moon is so thin and delicate tonight. Very sexy.

I also came here because I needed a new perspective on my life back in Slovenia. I wanted to clear my mind a bit. To unwind. To weigh things out.

This is supposed to be a brief preview of how my life would look like here. But.. if I end up liking it that much, I might take a leap of faith and move here right away. So far; I see no downsides.

Taking my very first steps as the new self. I'm in Italy. Yup. That happened. Literally over night. Completely mesmerized by the sheer beauty and awesomeness of the city. Soaking it all in, big time. Loving the vibe. Feels like home.

MOLOK RISING Trust no future You belong here Fear no new shore You will stay here Stay here Steal the blueprints of the sun god Sailing over the solemn bay Truly airborne we will suffer With the numbers upon the screen We are orphaned Hollow seers Selling art from a magazine The end of ends in view Moved by gentle tide it broke too soon The shallow waters nearly brought you Out to sea With the key of dreams they would buy you too Sheltered fool that gentle clay Animal That gentle clay Trust no future You belong here You belong here Here to labour and to wail with the damned Heed not my hundred reasons at midnight You belong here

THE WILL OF YOUR HEART

You set out to reclaim your power. To rediscover your individuality. To declare your independence. To re-embrace your personality. To set your voice free. To add some flavour to Truth. And you succeeded in all of that, brother. You fucking nailed it. In record speed. You are incredible, brother. Brilliant. Truly, one of a kind. A hero. In spite of the pain.

STORY TO TELL Drifting into the lives Seep Into The Soul Where emotions hide Dark skies were beating me down with shadows Of deceit, slashing at trust till it forever bleeds With doubts With pain With trust Is Pain When you think of me, In your multidimensional mind Try and wash the evil from your mind And open it When You taste the truth You will see like others Before me to you, I am past a story to tell To you I am past a story to Tell Tell it If you think you own the end Take another look At The script Of sadness Etched In the book Dark skies were beating me down with shadows Of deceit, slashing at trust till it forever bleeds With doubts With pain With trust Is pain When you think of me In your multidimensional mind Try and wash the evil from your mind And open it When You taste the truth You will see like others Before me to you, I am past a story to tell to you I am past a story to tell Tell it

To my former self: My dearest brother... What an honor it has been. A year flew by in a blink of an eye. You did a fucking incredible job, sir. Bravo! Some of those chapters were wild. You walked right through the fire. You slept right next to the devil. You fought the demons of the past. You stood for your Truth. For that I admire you, deeply. Thank you for making it this far. Thank you for gifting me this Light. I will carry it forward in your name, brother. I am glad that you also managed to have a lot of exciting, fun, wild and somewhat crazy experiences in this phase, too. I know your heart has been longing for that. It was fun watching from above, too. Hell of a show. I trust you understand why I must move on and detach. No, you are not actually 'old'. And no, you are not truly dying. You are a part of me now and forever. You are as eternal as this Light that I carry. Much love and respect to you, my dearest brother. Songs will be sung in your honor.

Former self is vanishing, slowly but surely. Soon to be fully disintegrated back into the endless nothingness. A new Sun is to be born. I am present with myself, throughout this whole process. I would not dare to turn my back onto the one who's dying, and is in pain. I am right here, on my own and by my side. The new is exciting. Unlimited potential. But it cannot fully blossom until the old dies out. Thank you for blessing me with the ability to feel this deeply, Father. Thank you for purging me of these old patterns and conditions. I know that it is only your unconditional love for me, that is disguised as this pain in my heart. Take it all, Father. Clear these pathways. Let the river run free.