ivankiss

I guess time will tell. My plan stays the same. Regardless of who may or may not join me somewhere down the line.

Yeah, both of us are still holding on. But she's holding on stronger, for sure. There must be something here, huh? It's been six months... I moved away and started a new life... And still I feel connected to her.

I won't lie, I was this close to texting her today. But I held back. And now this. Wow...

So... My ex just sent me a picture. Apparently, she's at my mom's workplace. Awesome.

Water! Good! Water! More!

And yes, I am allowed to clown around a bit, because I am extremely clear on who or what I am, what I stand for and what I am all about. I am more than comfortable in my own company. I can look into the mirror with a light heart and a clear conscience. I am walking the talk. It only makes sense that being this real and this committed has to be balanced with being playful and silly from time to time. Because madness.

Oh snap. Sad but true.

The degree to which what you are saying to me does not match to where you're soul is currently at... is the degree to which you are burning.

I don't hear the words that come out their mouth... I hear their souls crying out loud to me. Because I can hear them. Unlike most.

I'm in Amsterdam, forgot? Junkies, drug dealers and hookers are everywhere. And apparently, they all think I'm here to save them.

I don't care how enlightened you think you are, spend enough time around people that view you a certain way, and it will start affecting you, shaping you, altering you. That is why it is crucial to spend equally as much if not more time alone, than you spend around others. Especially if those others are criminals and who res.

Who are you when no one is looking?

From rivers of sorrow To oceans deep with hope I have travelled them Now, there is no turning back The limit, the sky I ask my questions Why? What today? When tomorrow? Won't you join me on the perennial quest Reaching into the dark, retrieving light Search for answers on the perennial quest Where dreams are followed, and time is a test

No time for mental crutches The maker has moved on I will take it raw and be on my way Those that stood beside me I'm glad you understand Behind these written words I share the simple plan To hang on to the way that we feel

The journey begins with curiosity And envolves into soul-felt questions On the stones that we walk And choose to make our path Sometimes never knowing Other times knowing too much Filtering out the bad that holds us back Take hold of what is true to your hunger A hunger that will not go away Plans for tomorrow, they will remain

No one procrastinates more masterfully than I do.

Btw, I love how you all pretend that the production of my EP does not suck ass. I appreciate it. Haha! It's not an easy job, if you wanna do it all on your own, from scratch. A million details to pay attention to. A lot can go wrong. Especially if you're doing it with little to no equipment in your bedroom studio. Add some relationship drama and extreme stress to the equation, and your music will sound that much more terrible. But hey, the material itself is kind of sort of ok, right? There's something there, that's for sure. But of course, as always, it cannot even begin to compare itself to what I'm cooking in the background nowadays. My new project will be the real deal. I promise. This time I'm nailing it for sure haha!

I will not disappoint, I promise. I will create some of the most beautiful music the world has ever heard. Until my final breath, I will be playing, I will be composing. Music will make me timeless.

Oh God how I love music. I honestly think it's the best thing ever. I cannot wait for music to fully take over my life. I cannot wait to start living and breathing music, and nothing but music. I want to lose myself in it entirely. I want it to take me places beyond my wildest imagination. I want it to lead me to and unite me with souls that burn with the same kind of passion. I want that thrill, that rush, that ecstasy. The sound of eternity. Oh please forgive me for still holding back. Forgive me for still doubting, waiting, hoping, praying... Forgive me for still not giving it my all. For not stepping into the light. I am afraid. I am hiding. I admit it. I am terrified of losing control. Terrified of making a wrong move. Terrified of fucking this up. Just a bit more time, I need. Bare with me.

Sadly, usually it's all just trash.

Wow this music in the lobby actually rocks. I love it when I hear something on the radio that's actually good.

I did absolutely nothing today, and that's ok. It did not feel right to force anything. The idea is to get up early tomorrow and do a couple of things before work. The only thing that's wrong, is feeling guilty for needing some rest, some time off.

I would give it all For one taste only Of everything I would give it all To become you Well I finally found out That this world This whole world's a lie And I tried I would give it all To become you

Give me just one moment Through the eyes of the one In that picture perfect moment In the life of the one Who is something better, more than Anything I will ever be Give me just one second Just to touch what I'll never own Let me have those feelings Of love that I will never share Show me your compassion In the dark of this world

The song that makes the hours go...