ivankiss

Nope. Nothing. I had no more dreams. Man... it was just so damn epic.

OH MY GOD! Just woke up from the wildest, most 'out-there' dream ever! It was more real than this current reality! Holy fuck! Basically; In my dream, I've been contacted by a secret university, an organisation of some sort.. Like Hograwrts, but much more epic. The place was unlike anything I ever saw. I ended up signing a contract with them. I did all kinds of insane magic and was assigned a mission. WHAT? This definitely feels more than just a dream. Holy fuck! It was sooo damn real! Serious business! I had to write it down before I forget it or my mind explains it away. I am absolutely shocked, in the most beautiful way ever. About to go back to sleep a bit more... I truly hope I end up there again. Dear Lord!

@Hulia Grazie!

I love it when I forget about a piece of music that I wrote, and then 'accidentally' come across it again. It gives me the opportunity to listen to it through brand new ears. From a totally new perspective. It's a very cool experience. I wrote/recorded essence and absolution some months ago, at the very beginning stage of this transformation of mine. It was sort of an experiment... I wanted to try out something new. I think there is big potential in this style. I'm sure I'll come back to it at some point. What I'm working on right now though, is a completely different world.

Texting with an Italian cutie on tinder.. She texted first. That's usually a great or a horrible sign lol. She's pretty damn hot. And smart. Loves literature and travel. An ESFJ... according to google, INFJs are not very compatible with them.. Whatevs. Should I ask her out on a date? The timing might not be the best, but a drink or two cannot hurt anyone. I think I'll ask her out.

Last night was unexpected as fuck. Life sure has its ways... It was a beautiful experience. Feeling a bit off now.. I drank quite a lot. Today is dedicated to deep rest, self-care, grooming.. Going out for a nice, rich meal, soon.

Experience. It's moments like this that I live for. Depth. Warmth. Connection. Unity. Heart. Love. Fucking beautiful. Good night, dear world.

Got drunk AF to this Cried like lil bitch to this And danced like there's no tomorrow to this And many, many more

Fucking epic night. Hung out and sang to everything from Ex-Yu, over Hungarian to Italian songs. Fucking magical. Kinda drunk. About to pass out any moment now.

MIRAGE Join in with me We'll fly on someone else's wings To where everybody is one Above the sky we read It's written black on white The truth, follow the lead Echoes of the same old psalm Sing with me In unity Join in with me I have been trying to break out for too long From the cage I found my path when I thought that I was wrong Stay close to me I'll show you what you need to see Close your eyes Trust in me I'll be your guide blindly Join in with me I'll be your guide I have been trying to break out for too long From the cage I found my path when I thought that I was wrong

Massive protest going on in the city. I'm joining in for fun.

It's tempting to believe in all kinds of stuff, to avoid taking responsibility and thinking for yourself. It's much easier to adopt meaning than to create it. It does not matter what you believe in. New age, mainstream, whatever. If you cannot see or step outside of it, you're a prisoner of your own mind. Fundamentally, it's all the same crap. Different shades and levels of delusion. And it's all driven by fear. Where there are sides, there is deception.

Some paper-work/documentation needs to be done first. Things function a bit differently here when it comes to getting a job. I ain't a fan of all that stuff, it's kinda getting on my nerves, but there's no way around it. This is the not so fun part of it all.

These last few nights, I've been having weird as fuck dreams. Extremely vivid, too. I imagine it's connected to this transition. Heading to the city centre soon. I've got a very specific job in mind, that I'd like to secure. If not; I'll settle for what's available. Been spending a lot these days, and earning nothing. I need that good money.

3 rounds of DMT alkaline breathing, followed by the breath of fire. 65bpm. Ratio 1:1 Falling asleep to delta waves.

Believing in and turning 'no-self' into an identity is a delusion deeper than believing one is a unicorn. Or a human being. I balanced out a lot of those polarities, already. But there still seems to be some distortion left in my mind. It's in my way. I know that's just a part of the path. All must go. Even the stuff that once served you and assisted you in your awakening. And especially all that 'no this, no that' kind of business. The Realization of God is not God. The belief in no-self is not no-self. It's self-deception.

WHEREVER I MAY ROAM ...and the road becomes my bride I have stripped of all but pride So in her I do confide And she keeps me satisfied Gives me all I need ...and with dust in throat I crave Only knowledge will I save To the game you stay a slave Rover, wanderer Nomad, vagabond Call me what you will But I'll take my time anywhere Free to speak my mind anywhere And I'll redefine anywhere Anywhere I roam Where I lay my head is home ...and the earth becomes my throne I adapt to the unknown Under wandering stars I've grown By myself but not alone I ask no one ...and my ties are severed clean The less I have the more I gain Off the beaten path I reign Rover, wanderer Nomad, vagabond Call me what you will But I'll take my time anywhere I'm free to speak my mind anywhere And I'll never mind anywhere Anywhere I roam Where I lay my head is home Carved upon my stone My body lie but still I roam Wherever I may roam Wherever I may roam

The label feels kinda heavy to carry around, but I cannot deny the resonance. Most of the information I came across so far, is quite spot on. Very relatable. It's kinda fucking with a belief in my mind that keeps repeating: 'There is no identity.'

INFJs and decision making: Strengths: INFJs • Take a thoughtful, collaborative approach to problem solving and decision making • See and integrate many diverse possibilities and options for improving situations in the future • Look for common ground and seek creative ways to respect diversity and meet peoples’ needs • Want to do comprehensive research into the implications and consequences of decisions; tuned into how decisions may affect the people involved • Once a decision is made, create a structured implementation plan that capitalizes on the strengths of the people involved Challenges: INFJs • Want to consider and explore problems and decisions thoroughly and may find it difficult to make quick decisions • May disengage when decision-making or problem solving processes become overly logical or focused only on short term solutions • Tend to think a problem or decision through internally and may not share all their exploratory data and ideas with others Cautions: INFJs • May overly complicate a decision and think about it in a more complex way than others would prefer • Wanting to explore multiple ideas and yet also wanting to come to a decision may create an unpleasant internal tension for INFJs • The INFJs sense of what should be done to value and respect the people involved in a decision can sometimes come across to others as moralistic or judgmental by Donna Dunning

@gettoefl Very glad to hear! Never heard this song before.. Beautiful!

I am losing interest in thought. It is not as entertaining as once. I know how it moves. I know its shapes and forms. Its curves and its edges. Timeless snapshots of The Divine. Grounding my steps into feeling. I listen for the whispers. The voice that sings bellow the night. No one seems to notice the fall. No one seems to see the rising. It's no surprise. Let them all sleep, while the earth gently weeps. They're better off without knowing. Let them dream through tomorrow's eyes. With these hands I could write a story unknown to the keeper of dreams. With these hands I could build a castle, capture unconditional joy in it, and kill what remains. With these hands I could move the mountains, and steal the moon from the sky. These are not hands of a man. I walk through the crowds, but I've never set foot on these lands. At night, I die at peace. Because I know, I've got something that could never be bought or sold. Gained or lost. Traced or abandoned. If only I could share it. If only you could see The Sun.

Yup. This is what God sounds like. Walking meditation by the sea. Lovely vibes.

Last night, I've been listening to and reading about how rare, unique and special I am, for two hours straigh. Of course I had to masturbate.

Calling it for today. Masturbation. Meditation. Sleep.