ivankiss

Not sure if I feel like laughing or crying

Well, let me be the exception then, and say that there is still a shitload of work to be done, even though everything is perfect. In fact, that very same work, is part of the perfection. Many may not like how it sounds... 'cheat codes'... they might say: 'oh, that's ego, that's the devil!' Or something lame and predictable like that... I don't have an issue with words. I get what you mean. Might not put it the same way myself, but I get it. And I'm telling you; there are light-codes, quite literally, that can be used to achieve all kinds of stuff that your heart desires. But first you must know how to read and decode that language.

I can 'rise' to 'a place' where there is no sexual attraction, whatsoever. The most gorgeous woman could be standing naked in front of me, and nothing would arise. All I'd see is Light. But I do not operate from those heights - if you will. I am all for attraction and sex, generally speaking. It's just good to know when and how to rise above it.

This forum is a cheat code And there are more.

Woke up to a text from J. Warmed my heart. We exchanged quite a few messages. She said she started watching this show called 'sex-life' and it reminded her of me. I kinda started suspecting she discovered my sex diary... but looks like that's not the case. If it was, I'd have no other option but to own it. Stand behind it. I'm sure she'd understand. And maybe she'd even like what she read. After all; I spoke very highly of her here. And it was all true. Honest. I truly feel about her the way I've been describing it. We both hope we're going to catch up somewhere down the line, and magic will happen once again. Regarding Italy... Man. I'm still in utter disbelief about how hot all these girls are. Lots of emphasis on styling and whatnot. They definitely know their craft. I got quite a few very, very hot matches on tinder. But I ain't doing shit about it. It woul be forced. And probably end up as a failure. Now is simply not a time for dating or sex. It cannot be. No matter how hard I'd want it to be, in times of being super horny lol. Which btw, has not been happening that often lately. Maybe it has to do something with taking another longer break from weed lol. This entire first chapter has been very, very much THC driven lol. I came to Italy for a reason. I've got much more important stuff on my mind right now. Approaching girls, dating, etc... is way down on my list atm. Unless life surprises me. In any case, this new chapter will be something quite different, I imagine. If indeed there is to be another chapter. Maybe I'll come to see this diary as something that I've outgrown. A short, little, fun phase. Will see.

@RickyFitts @lxlichael Thanks guys, it means a lot. Much love.

The least original song I made, False Theory , recieved the most attention from people. It's basically djent 101. But I still love it.

If you were to stay in this trade, dear Ivan, your account would have grown over 30% by now. Yes. That's right. Hurts, doesn't it? Stop exiting winning trades too soon, goddamnit! It's like you're literally saying 'no' to money.

First track is coming together real nice. I've got great ideas for sections, but I need to pay extra attention to structure, flow, direction. Sometimes I can get carried away and end up writing a 17 minutes long song lol. And while there's nothing wrong with that, I don't want to go down that road this time around, because I'd like my new music to be somewhat easier for the average listener to take in. Most people's attention span is nowhere near there yet. They can barely listen through a 3 minutes long piece. I also want to avoid the usual 'intro->verse->chorus->verse->bridge->chorus-outro' structure. It's way too boring and predictable. How I will go about that, without completely losing the sense of there being a structure, is a question-mark. Kind of a challenge. I want my music to be a free-flowing experience. But not so free-flowing that it has no tail, no torso and no head. I'm looking for that perfect balance between organized and well-structured, and free and unpredictable. I also want my music to be (somewhat) radio-friendly. It has to be new and unique, but not so alien and out there that nobody knows what the hell they just heard. It's challenging to place all these boxes within the boxes, and still stay true to my authentic,inner creative spark. But it can be done. I've done it before. I've seen others do it, too. I will grow a lot with this project, I can already tell. But... I've been thinking about another thing... for quite some time now. While I was taking a break from the whole modern prog-rock world, and I've been rocking the acoustic, I started developing a different type of sound and style of expression. Very nice and straightforward, very emotional. And no mathematics lol. Basically, the complete opposite of what I'm used to doing. There is little to no coldly calculated precision involved. It's as airy and floaty and simple as it gets. It also highlights my vocals. That's kinda the whole point of it. So what I've been thinking of, is starting a TikTok and YouTube channel, and start releasing these short, 1 to 3 minutes improvisations, or, channellings, and in that way satisfy that part of my soul, too. It should work great, since my first and main project is kinda a slow-moving thing, that requires an enormous amount of time and effort, attention to detail, etc... and this acoustic stuff would be all spontaneous and effortless. I'm thinking of releasing those mini tracks/improvisations on a daily basis. Maybe every third day. Hmm... Hm, hm, hmm... Resonance is high. I know I've got it all in me. The skill, the passion, the vision, the will... but turns out, that's not enough. You need something more to really 'make it'. Unless you wanna sell your soul to the mainstream, of course. I've been skillfully avoiding that trap since I got into this music biz lol. What you need is...uhm...you need...the thing that is needed... Is a miracle. You need God.

Btw, good call for exiting the trade. It's still a bad loss, not a good loss, but at least it's not a disastrous loss. Work on minimizing losses. Cut them early. You know very damn well when you enter a bad trade. Stop being a pussy and take action on time. Stop giving away your power to the market. Keep control.

Very important note to self: Read your trading rules every time before entering a trade. You think you have all the boxes checked, but you don't. Stop rushing. Meditate with the chart.

Not answering questions like this here, sorry. No. I invest EUR, and trade currencies, metals and occasionally oil.

I'm giving my losers way too much time and space. And I close my winners way too early. That's the main issue.

Technical analysis is pretty much on point. Money management: requires some work. Psychology: even more.

Trade closed with a loss. Lost all my profit + some of my initial deposit. Yup. Definitely need to work on my system some more. It's not nearly bulletproof yet.

Position opened on Wednesday, 12:47AM. Chart: Daily ATR: 47.2

@Matthew85 You speak the true-true. I had issues with this irl, too. Not trusting my intuition. My gut. My mind and my heart. Lesson learned the hard way. With a help of a beautiful soul, dressed up as a demon. Thanks again. Much love.

@RickyFitts Thank you, brother. Your words always warm my heart. I see your unconditional support and love, in regards to other users, too. I think it's a beautiful thing that you're doing. Much love and respect to you. Stay awesome!

Well, fuck me. I was in big profit again, but did not monitor. Was writing music. Exited with a smaller profit, again. I could've taken 4 or 5 times this much. I'm kinda bitching for no reason, since it was still a green day, but there are some obvious errors I need to work on. I came to know the market and its tricks very well by now. I'm in tune with it. It's just that I'm getting in my own way. I'm still not as serious about trading as I should be. At least I wrote an epic riff or two...

Re-bought the dip, letting it run a bit longer now. What happens - happens. Kinda breaking my own rules here, but it might work in my favor. If not; another lesson learned the hard way.

Exited out of caution with a small profit. Price is moving very aggressively. I looked away for a few minutes, and I missed my first exit point. I could've walked away with a nice profit in less than an hour. I had an option to wait for the next move, but it seemed too risky. Another reversal is very likely to happen. Maybe I'm being a bit too timid, but it's understandable. I'm warming up after the break. Waiting for the next opportunity now. Still no real confirmation on the trend. In these phases, scalping is the only option.

Clearly, I'm staying for a bit longer. Mainly because of these journals. I think I've got good thing going on here. If I was to say, this forum did nothing good for me, I'd be a massive liar. It helped me a lot. Especially in regards to 'enlightenment work'. But it also granted me with a shitload of mental fog, confusion, distortion, etc. I chased my own tail many times, unnecessarily, because I believed in the writings of others. I realized God way before joining this forum. In a sense; all I've been doing here was trying to make sense of what has already been the case. Understand it. And also; share those understandings. And in that, this forum has been very useful. It's kind of a double-edged sword. One can fuck up their psychology here severely, if not careful. But one can also learn and grow at the speed of Light. It all depends on who's doing the work. Thankfully, I managed to free myself from a few traps that I feel into, and most, avoid completely. There is a lot of beauty and knowledge here. A lot to love. But one must know how to navigate these waters. I will continue to be focused on the small picture for a while now, maintaining that tunnel vision. Occasionally I might share a word or two about God and stuff. I always thought of myself more as a content creator here, than anything else. Hopefully I provided some value to others too, and not that much mental fuckery. Thy Will be done.

Position opened on Tuesday, 12:47PM. Chart: 4hr ATR: 8.2

@Matthew85 Am not familiar with the name. Will check it out. Thanks!

Did not enter at a price where I wanted to, because there are some obvious manipulations going on. I let it slip. Price went where I initially thought it would, but bounced back in a blink of an eye. This particular chart looks like a horror movie. Ugly, chaotic and choppy AF. Market has been going sideways for quite some time now. Might consider trading something else, even though this pair is my favorite.