ivankiss

I clearly rock at committing to these roles. I am completely immersed. But then, when I snap out and wake up, stuff like this happens: In and out, up and down, in all possible directions. Access to and freedom in ALL.

Everything starts out as pure, weightless, formless, motionless Light, and on the furthest points of creation, everything disintegrates back into pure Light. Become conscious how pure white turns into colours. See how Light descends into form. Trace it all back to Source, and watch it being reborn. You will understand Infinity. Become conscious how you bleed into Thought, and how that bleeds into feeling. And how that bleeds into 'form' or 'matter'. It's just getting slower and slower. Until it freezes completely. As a bonus, or little, fun extra... Contemplate why the fuck is Thought so captivating?

@Ry4n Very glad to hear that. Blessings.

@toocrazytobecrazy I hear you, you don't have to scream Goodnight.

@toocrazytobecrazy No worries, I do shit all the time. I am contradicting and confusing myself, a lot. I got that part covered. Resistance cannot be resisted. It's just resistance.

In short; You must be a real badass motherfucker if you want to climb the mountain without safety nets. You must have balls of steel to jump into the deep unknown.

I, VOYAGER If you view life as a mission For truth and purity in vision You can become as the anointed And fade away from the disjointed In observation, I analyze All the aspects of humanity that I despise I am the voyager I have tasted pleasures of the flesh And drunk the pleasures of the mind To reach the point I've attained Clear focused and defined Those who don't create dictate The structure of our world and preach hate Drifting out of languid boredom To destroy the structure of our kingdom In observation, I analyze All the aspects of humanity that I despise I am the voyager I have tasted pleasures of the flesh And drunk the pleasures of the mind To reach the point I've attained Clear focused and defined If you live life draped in sorrow You will destroy the path we follow Take my hand and walk in wonder The patterns spin in random order In observation, I analyze All the aspects of humanity that I despise I am the voyager I have tasted pleasures of the flesh And drunk the pleasures of the mind To reach the point I've attained Clear focused and defined I am the voyager I, Voyager

Why do I value experience in all of it diversity so much? I need it for art. For that masterpiece. For the realization of the dream. I must accumulate wisdom. I must let life show me all its hidden corners, where treasure is waiting in plain sight.

Within a few months I will have everything that I need to make the jump. Mainly; I will have that money. It cannot be done without it. And I cannot get to it as fast as I want without giving up on all these things. Without the sacrifice. Without blood, sweat and tears. It's the biggest step forward that I'm doing. It's a threshold that when crossed, there is no more going back. No place for regret. But I fear, that once I do get there, I will no longer wish for it. I will no longer desire to do the things I desire now. Where changes happen, they happen at the speed of Light. Where there is stillness, there is no longing, no desire, no purpose and no will. No vision. No dream. How else could the Infinite express itself, but through eternal change? It's all as it has to be. I'm doing everything that I must do. That I want to do, ultimately. And even if a change of heart happens once I reach that threshold, at least my pockets will not be empty. At least I will have what to invest into anything that I choose to invest in. All in all, I'm loving the crap out of this journey. The struggle, the pain, the confusion, the cravings... Everything. But all those roles demand 100% commitment. That's how experience is. You cannot be out with one foot. You cannot pretend like it's not real. You cannot cling to any high truth you have previously realized. There is none of that when you commit to the experience. There is only what's true for you in that moment. And that can look and feel like anything. Cursing and hating, yelling and crying, laughing and smiling, and even being totally blissed out... it's all Truth. As long as it's true for you, when the moment shines. Thy Will Be Done.

A MOMENT OF CLARITY I would describe it as an invisible darkness Casting a shadow, a blinding black Guarded by hope, my soul is kept safe from The bloody claws Look to beyond, what vision lets me see Time after time, unneeded misery My dreams I own, no price for you I grip them tight and hope for sight Open my eyes wide to see a moment of clarity Confusion gone, it's in your hands Your turn to ask why Life is like a mystery With many clues, but with few anwers To tell us what it is that we can do to look For messages that keep us from the truth Look to beyond, what vision lets me see Time after time, unneeded misery My dreams I own, no price for you I grip them tight and hope for sight Open my eyes wide to see a moment of clarity Confusion gone, it's in your hands Your turn to ask why Oh God, why

Why am I doing all this? Why do I strive for more? Well, I don't know... It could be because I have something to prove to myself... That I can. That I am capable. That I have it in me what it takes. That I can overcome any challenge life has to throw at me. That I am worthy of receiving all the gifts and blessings. That my wishes matter. That I matter. My story. My dreams. I could settle for less. I'm sure I could. I could find serenity in having nothing, doing nothing, being no one. I could settle for less. I could be satisfied with a small room for myself, a roof over my head and a piece of bread on my table. Maybe even less. All my heart really wants to do, is create. Make beautiful, unique art and share it with the world. And I could do that without all these flashy things I wish for. But I want more. Fuck me, I do. Maybe I'm damned or cursed, but I cannot deny it. I want more from life. More from this journey. More from this opportunity to be and be heard. Some may call it 'ego' or whatever, and to that I say... fuck you. Mkay? You know nothing. You have no idea what it's like to have something truly outstanding and incredible to share with the world that could change it forever, and be repeatedly pulled down, devalued and underestimated. You have no idea what it's like to give your whole life, flesh and blood, heart and soul for this one thing... for one instance... one moment... One song. It is so sad and so beautiful at the same time, no man could ever bare it. It is an energy that gives birth to planets and stars. It is a power that could tear an entire galaxy apart. It is God's heart beating. Beating for every single note played, every single word spoken. It is how and why anything is or isn't, at all. I don't need a reason. It's just who I am. And so it is.

THE NOOSE So glad to see you well Overcome and completely silent now With heavens help you cast your demons out And not to pull your halo down Around your neck and tug you off your cloud But I'm more than just a little curious How you're planning to go about making your amends To the dead To the dead Recall the deeds as if they're all Someone else's atrocious stories Now you stand reborn before us all So glad to see you well And not to pull your halo down Around your neck and tug you to the ground But I'm more than just a little curious How you're planning to go about making your amends To the dead To the dead With your halo slipping down Your halo slipping Your halo slipping down Your halo slipping down To choke you now

Not gonna lie, this WR phase is tough. I'm often having thoughts of quitting and going back to my former life. Which was not that bad, but it was not what I really wanted, either. I'm giving up a lot... I have no friends here, no fuck buddies or anything like that, no long, wild nights, no fancy apartment... this phase is just about working my ass off. Both at my job and outside of it. I have a lot of stuff to secure and perfect before making the jump to my DR. It's challenging AF. But it's doable. And it will be more than worth it, I know. I'm doing my best to stay on the positive side of the spectrum, and not focus on what I'm leaving behind, but what's yet to come. Waiting room... yup... such a perfect way to put it.

Still not scripting in detail, but here's a little something, for much needed motivation. I have two visions of my DR home in Thailand. One option is a dreamy, isolated forest house.. and the other is a fancy apartment, with a breath-taking view. Both options are doable. Will speculate about it a bit more. I love nature, but I'm also a city-boi... so it's kind of a tough call lol. My girlfriend, as mentioned, is cute AF. These images are a very, very close representation of my visions. Exciting!

The only reason a thought pictured in your mind does not materialize instantaneously, is because you have created an antagonist. Deconstruction of the cynic. Death of doubt, uncertainty, fear. That is how you close the gap.

Nowhere indefinitely Not dead, not alive Existence-patterns ripped of symmetry As will and fate divide

Last night, the meeting with that potential new friend, was cancelled. We both were not feeling like it. The weather was crappy. I'm glad and relieved, that it wasn't only me who wasn't into it. It's better this way. I simply have no time, space, energy or interest in making friends now. I'm too goal-oriented. Too focused. And a new friend could be the perfect distraction. Not to mention partying, girls, and everything else that would probably come with it. All I need now is to be left alone, to do my shit. I'm too busy for noticing anything else.

Power. Creation. Selfcare. Huehuehue

In dreams it speaks to me of the truth that means reality

Drawn back into the origin-vortex Uprooted and ground to dust Retracted into anti-existence A magnet repelled by life's polarity

Just a reminder; this 'script' is but an act of deluding myself. It's a story. Fiction. Just like anything else I'd tell myself would be. I simply enjoy telling stories, that's all. Yes, in a sense I'm going through everything that I'm sharing here, and I am looking forward to actualizing these ideas. But the Truth of who I really am remains untouched by any of this. That is why I often struggle to relate to these writings. Because they're not truly me. I am nothing, no one and nowhere. Everything, everyone and everywhere.

Last night I was reminded what it is that I'm actually doing here and why. I was blessed with quite a few visions of my DR. My parallel self and life, are absolutely beautiful. It's easy to loose touch with the vision, or dream, when descending into these roles I now must play out. It's easy to forget what it's all being done for. It is still not time to start scripting my DR in deep detail, but I will share a few ideas, just to lay out the basics, and establish a stronger connection. My DR is in Thailand. I'm working from home, trading. I have a gorgeous, bright and kind-hearted Thai girlfriend. I compose music. I write books and poems. Running a few accounts on social platforms. Enjoying the beautiful nature, as well as the city life. There is a holy, or sacred vibe to it all. It feels like heaven. From my current point of view, and with this tempo, I am six or so months away from making the jump. It could be done in three or four, but that would require even more sacrifice during this WR phase. I don't want to go through too much turbulence. It's better to take it easy, go slower, and allow the necessary changes to occur naturally, on their own. Without too much force behind the act. Expending things a bit in my WR, too. I made a friend, I guess. He's a fellow musician, and a tattoo artist. Supposedly, he could hook me up with a place to practice and record. Grabbing a drink with him tonight. Went through a cleansing of some sort these past view days, with the assistance of an awesome user of this platform. Felt a lot, cried and laughed some, thought and contemplated. Great stuff. I am beyond satisfied with my ability to feel this deeply, across the whole emotional spectrum. As well as to think in all directions and dimensions. Spending most of my time as the guardian. The protector. The 'heavenly masculine' - if you will. I am committed to completing this task. I notice nothing but the path I'm walking. The goal. The destination. At night, when all is silent and still, the child comes out to play. Creativity and imagination. The divine feminine holds space, listens and encourages. Things are being harmonized, beautifully. Thy Will Be Done.

Beautiful trade over night. Woke up to a nice profit. Price already bounced back a bit, I could've extracted a few more pips, but I did not set a TP. Still, I'm quite satisfied with the progress.

Alright. No more fooling around. It's time to do this. I am a man with big visions and goals. And that requires big money. As of now; I've got the perfect platform to build and achieve anything I want. There are literally no more excuses in sight. The only thing that's keeping me from getting that money... is me. Some 'misaligned' beliefs, maybe. One or two bad habits. That's all. Nothing else is in my way. I am determined to overcome all possible obstacles life can throw at me. I am well aware those are likely to come. I am not expecting this to happen magically, over night. But happen it will. No question about it. There simply is no other option. I would not say I'm bad at attracting money. But I could definitely get better. I aim to bring passion-filled, loving awareness to this aspect of my life. I know that's the key. As well as some blood, sweat and tears. Mainly, I will be monitoring my trade entries in this journal. Without reveling what it is exactly that I'm trading, of course. I will also not be giving away any strategies, forecasts, signals, or anything similar. So don't ask. This is about me being consistent and fully invested. Devoted. Committed. Dedicated. This is about me getting that motherfucking money, baby! I've been trading for three years or so now. But I was not very consistent. Or committed. I went through a long and somewhat painful learning curve. I discovered I'm actually very passionate about this profession. I pretty much fell in love with it, instantly. It's perfect. I love how there is no one else involved. It's just me and my computer. Me and the chart. Anywhere in the world. It's just the perfect puzzle piece. It also compliments my LP, perfectly. It's time to do this for real. I can feel it. I will start off by adding a few very important notes to keep in mind: PSYCHOLOGY If you don't have your trading psychology right, it doesn't matter what you do. Here are the main elements: Initiative - The power, or opportunity to act or take charge. You gotta have balls in this game. You must be willing to take risks - smart. Get up off of your ass and put in the damn work. Money won't just fall from the sky for you. Discipline - Create a disciplined system of entries and exists and do not deviate from it. Leave emotions out of the equation. Let the market do its thing. Let your trades run. Give things time and space. Stand your ground. Trust your system. Be at your best - whenever you're trading. Patience - Never enter trades on impulse. Negotiate on the price. Wait for the market to come to you. You must overcome the sense of urgency. You've got all the time in the world. There are always new opportunities in the market. Experience - There simply is no substitute. You must accumulate experience. You must come to know and understand the market. It's a wild beast. Do not hold back. Expect failure and be ready and willing to learn and adapt. Only that way can you move forward. MONEY MANAGEMENT 'When it comes to entering a trade, you could pretty much flip a coin and go long or short... if your money management is right - you're still going to be making a lot of money long term.' Know what, when and how (much) to risk. Always calculate your risk. There is good and bad risk. Good and bad losses. Manage your trade in accordance with your trading system. Do not deviate. Avoid revenge trading, at all costs. Do not chase a trade, ever. Let your winners run. Do not exist on impulse. Stop predicting the future. Drop the guesswork. The price is either going up or down - it's no rocket science. Stop avoiding taking action. Cut losses early. Take a step back, zoom out, breathe, come back with a clear mind. Dominate. TECHNICAL ANALYSIS Watch ATR! Open trades in accordance with it. Do not swim against the current. Do not trade against the trend. Stick to the time-frame that you opened your position on. Do not overlap. Buy below and sell above the average asking price. Duh. Watch out for any major hot spots on the chart (support/resistance levels) Check the economic calendar for any upcoming high impact news. Mark significant levels and zones Keep things minimalistic and simple Look for price corrections Avoid trading in the consolidating phase

Focusing a lot on singing and the voice in general nowadays. Earlier, through some contemplation, I came to a conclusion, that there are three main sounds to my voice. Three voices in one being. The strong, heroic, heavenly masculine voice. The tender, angelic, divine feminine voice. And the voice of an innocent child. Fully integrating and merging all three voices into One is how The Voice of God comes to life. That's what I'm working on currently. Then, it hit me out of nowhere; ' ofcourse! that's exactly what's happening in life, as well.' There are three main aspects to one's being. Three energies, or even three states of consciousness. Don't get too hung up on these words though. They are just pointers. The Heavenly Masculine is The Hero. It's the one that faces all the obstacles and overcomes them. It's the one that rises up to its highest calling and completes the mission. It's pure will, sheer commitment and dedication. It is the bringer of the greatest of changes and transformations. It is the one that transcends. The Divine Feminine is the lover. The one that cares and nurtures. The one that heals and warms one's heart. The one that holds space. The one that listens and understands. The one that forgives. The one that is in a constant state of surrender and openness. The one that accepts, invites in and welcomes. The one that says goodbye. The child... is The Creator. It is Imagination itself. It is so innocent and pure, everything melts instantaneously in the presence of its divine radiance. The child is playfulness. The child is carefree. The child is complete freedom and infinite, forever-ongoing transcendence. The child is the dreamer. It dreams in all directions and dimensions. The three do not necessarily know of each-other. They can play out in any random way and order in one's life. But they are there, in all of us. Working their magic. Aligning, integrating and merging all three aspects, or energies, into one, is how God is fully embodied.