ivankiss

Honesty cuts through bullshit way better than arrogance. What I noticed ime, is that when I'm arrogant I'm usually butthurt about something. I'm insecure and seeking validation. I feel like I have something to prove. Arrogance is not confidence. Real confidence is relaxed. Steady and balanced. It does not scream into your face. It does not try hard. It's just confident and comfortable. Wanna cut through bullshit? Be honest. With yourself first, and then with everyone else too. Honesty is truth. Arrogance is trying to prove that what you're saying or doing is true.

I hear you. And just now, I'm sitting here and thinking... I am indeed quite dumb when it comes to a lot of things. I am also full of my own shit. So yeah, take this thread as you see it fit. I think there is something to it. But I also became a bit more aware of how your methods are valid and serve a purpose. I was calling myself out too. I see similar traits in myself sometimes. It all comes back to me, one way or the other. I still think there is work to be done in this area, but I also see how and why it is at it is.

Would you ridicule and yell at a baby that crawls and cannot walk just yet? Such a dumb little baby. It cannot even stand up straight. Its mind is so soft and lazy. It takes everything so personally. It cries when you yell the truth at its face. So stupid. Can you see how you're actually the dumb one in that scenario? Yes, you might be more advanced, evolved and developed. Awake and conscious. And that is precisely why you should be more gentle and considerate. Are you really that afraid of a baby? Are you that scared that a baby might judge you and think you're crazy? It's the same with spirituality and development. We're all at different stages here. And the higher you are, the more mature and humble you should be. Is being insensitive and all numbed out while parroting the same shit about enlightenment the ultimate goal here? Is that what we're working towards? Is that going to awaken the world and lead to more peace, love and harmony? Is that going to solve all our issues? Tough love has its place, I guess, but it should not be the end all be all. It's should not be a standard. Otherwise what we will get is a bunch of rude, disrespectful, inconsiderate jerks, running around and yelling they're God, thinking their dick is the biggest. It's leading towards hell, not heaven.

I'm not saying Leo should be all lovey dovey and turn into an absolute sweetheart. That would also not be good. It would not be as unique and authentic. I do like his direct and no bs approach. I think that's a strength. But it can all be done without assuming the other end to be dumb and asleep. Tell me how it is, give it to me straight, but don't lash out at me or think that I'm stupid for not being there just yet. It creates divisions, instead of inspiring unification. Teaching requires a lot of patience, understanding, humility, compassion, respect, etc. You have to see yourself in your students. We were all dumb at some point. And we have to be humble enough to know that we still have a long way to go, no matter how deep our realizations and awakenings are. There's always more, always deeper.

I suppose the key word here is (self)judgement. That's the root of the 'issue'.

I feel like what you're getting with Leo is kind of a rude awakening. And yes, that might just be what some people need, and there are definitely some 'dumb' people out there too, who need an occasional zen slap or two. But in general, I just don't think it's a good look. It takes away from the quality of the content. It could all be more professional and grounded. I also understand where the defensiveness is coming from. It's not easy to present groundbreaking information. Of course you're going to feel attacked and looked at as some crazy woo woo guy who's way out there. I find myself in that very same position often, when talking about this stuff to 'normies'. But I think this is something that can be transcended. You can be confident and stand for Truth, even if you're talking to people who are clueless. It has more to do with your ability to communicate than their ability to comprehend. I think actualized.org could appeal to a wider audience and be easier to digest if these little things were worked on a bit. And beyond that, more mature users and followers could give this some attention too. It's something we all deal with, at some point.

High is the way but all eyes are upon the ground

Thanks again guys. Lots of cool info. I hear you about the brand, and 'selling yourself' and I already have an idea or two about how I want to do things. There is no question in my mind that there is an audience out there who would appreciate what I do. Especially once I develop this style a bit more and things fall into their place firmly. I think for me it's more about just being active and consistent. Improving and evolving as I go. Starting all that promotion stuff soon. About to start working on a new track too. I'm just happy to be creative again. That's what matters the most. The rest will follow.

Last night I released my new single, after a long ass break. I have a new style and sound now. Not sure how to find the niche for it and build a fanbase. It would be easier if I kept the sound that I had years ago... I was promoted by a non profit group back then and had a decent audience. Gotta start from scratch now. Any ideas how I should go about promoting and marketing this? Hope you enjoy it!

@Carl-Richard Heavier and crazier stuff:

Thanks guys. It's a new style/sound that I'm exploring, so it's going to take some time till I find the right audience for it. I'm ok with that. The music itself will evolve too, over time, naturally. I'm just glad that I found a sound that reflects me at this chapter of my life. It was not easy to transition from what I've been doing in the past. Had a pretty serious artistic crisis lol.

I decided to pay for some exposure. Plenty of options to choose from when it comes to promotion. Doing that soon. Not aiming on profiting at all just yet. For now I just want to get my stuff out there and build a nice little fanbase. Will see from then on.

@Isa Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. Played metal my entire life, so yeah, you can definitely hear that. Trying to enter a bit calmer waters now. Liked your song too. Beautiful vocals. Maybe they could sit just a bit better in the mix. All the best on your journey.

And so it is.

It's almost time.

@Thought Art Hmm... Not sure about this track, but I could do that on the side maybe. Cool idea, thanks!

Been there, done that, took a picture and it was hideous. Not my cup of tea. So... You are so damn loving and free that you feel like you should go out there and fuck around with multiple partners simultaneously? Your love is so damn strong and unconditional that you cannot possibly imagine giving it to one person only? It would be a crime not to share it with others, right? You're full of shit, and you know it. I'm sorry, but you know nothing about real love. You are emotionally underdeveloped and numbed out. You are scared to death of commitment. Scared to death of losing your false sense of identity and independence. You know nothing about dedication, devotion, respect, loyalty, truth, sacrifice... You know nothing about relationships. You are simply incapable of being in one. But you do want the benefits of it. You do want someone to be there for you and take care of you. You do want someone to love you and admire you and support you and listen to you. You want someone who will be by your side in your darkest hour. You want someone who you can trust and be vulnerable with. You want all that good stuff that comes with real love. But you also want to fuck around and do whatever you want, whenever you feel like it. Fool. Just admit that you are immature, underdeveloped and disordered, and are not ready to be in a relationship. Just be single. Stop searching for loopholes to justify your sick and toxic ways. It's not love. Far from it. It's scarcity, cowardness and delusion. It's a lie. And yes, I am triggered and butthurt, if you must know. Hence this post. I played this game once before and now I ran into another broken soul who waited for me to open my heart up and now wants to persuade me to 'expand my views' and 'be more open and progressive'. It makes me wanna punch a hole in the wall. I'm fucking sick of this bullshit. I cannot stand it. But, to each their own, I guess. If you wanna play your fucked up little games, be free to do so, just do it far away from me. Don't try to drag me into your pool of shit. I'd rather starve than choke on what's killing me down.

Oh trust me, I know. This is exactly why people start indulging in open relationships. Because they are tired of things never working out. They tired of the pain, heart and head ache. Disappointment, etc. So they give up, in that sense, and just start fucking around. Instead of diving deep and resolving the root issues that led to dysfunctional relationships in the first place. It's an easy way out. But it only lead to more sickness long term. Polyamory is fundamentally rooted in dysfunction. There 's just no way of denying that. It might work for a while, for a few people who share the same wounds, but it's just not a healthy thing. They girl I'm seeing now kinda feels the same, and she's Russian too. Must be a Russian thing haha!

@LastThursday Can agree with some of what you're saying, sort of. But yes, mostly clever devilry

TLDR

What you are describing here is purely egoic and transactional. It's about meeting your selfish needs by any means necessary. Has nothing to do with love. In the scenario you presented, the right thing to do would be to take a step back and look deeper into yourself. Not date either Jane nor Mary, rather stay single and figure out who you really are and what it is that you're actually looking for. Instead of taking bits and pieces of multiple partners.

What can many give you that one cannot? Diversity? Excitement? Experience? Thrill? Why do you need a hundred dicks? Why is one not enough? Why do you get bored and lose interest so quickly? Can you see how this is an issue that goes much deeper? Can you see how polyamory is a way to cope with those issues? Avoid or mask them? Distracting yourself from looking deeper into yourself and figuring your shit out? It's not about owning somebody. It's not about being possessive. It's not about locking them down. It's about something far more profound. It's about choosing one over the many. Staying true to that choice. Respecting that choice and your partner's choice. It's about trust. It's about loyalty and commitment. All that stuff you will never learn by avoiding this deep rooted issues and fucking around.

@Eyowey Of course! A global orgy would solve all our problems and accelerate our evolution beyond comprehension! That's what love is all about! Haha! C'mon.

@IAmReallyImportant Thanks. It's obvious, yes, just not to everybody - obviously. I can understand why someone would choose this and go down this road. What I hate about it is that these people try to disguise it all as them being more open minded and liberated and more unconditionally loving. When precisely the opposite is the case. It's just bullshit.

Obviously. But maybe it's not so obvious to everyone. I'm not saying the intellect doesn't serve a purpose. It does. And it can, in a sense, get you closer to enlightenment. But ultimately, it has to be let go of. It has to be surrendered. When enlightenment dawns, the intellect is the very thing that gets dissolved. Willingly or unwillingly. Understanding it is great and useful, I'd say. But understanding it is never actually it. The activity of consciousness is not actual, direct, infinite consciousness. In that sense, 'the work' we are doing is quite literally walking backwards. Not trying to get anywhere, rather unwinding and undoing various patterns of the mind.