ivankiss

@Razard86 Absolute has no opposite. It's not 'my perspective' it's just truth. Constructing or deconstructing... truth remains one and the same.

Funny thing is, even when you realize all this stuff, you're still not free from the past or the future. From that point of view, you have years and years worth of shit to clean up. You are simply way too entangled. From that point of view, you have much to heal and learn from the past. You also have much to work towards. But in actuality, none of it exists. Nothing to heal, nothing to learn, nothing to strive towards. No rewards and no punishment, either.

The mind complicates things to avoid facing the truth. It's too simple. Thought, feeling, perception. Nothing else is direct experience. Literally. But then... Direct experience as a whole is deceiving. Illusory. Non-existent, even. Only consciousness. Only Love. That's all there is. Absolutely.

Love you all guys. Right now, I really do.

It's getting a bit too awkward. Even for a chill guy like me. This is not the first time I'm being approached by a guy. And every time it's the same. They try to convince me that I should try dick. Because 'guys know what guys like' and 'how can you know you don't like it if you don't try it'... I just know, ok? I want nothing at all to do with another man's dick. Like, I don't feel gay or bi, at all. I love girls. A lot. I can appreciate a good-looking guy.. I'm not afraid of saying that... but that's about it. No touching, no kissing, licking or blowing... let alone fucking. Just no. But here's the thing... I wouldn't mind having a gay friend. In that sense; I can kinda dig that gay vibe. Just don't want anything sexual. I communicated this to him, and he understood what I'm saying. Or so I thought... Now he's being pushy again. Trying to get me to send him pics/vids of my dick or me having sex with other girls... So yeah. Awkward. Anyone delt with this kind of stuff before?

Leave everything behind, sell everything you have and donate all your money. Go to India, walk from village to village, meditate and sleep under trees. Beg for food, hunt, do what you must do to survive. No working, no business. Just you, nature and the mercy of strangers passing by.

It's a belief thus it cannot be The Truth. But it may be true - from a certain viewpoint.

Meaning, no meaning... subject, object... all duality. Absolute has no opposites. The Absolute does not require you to believe in objective truth or whatever else. It only requires you to be absolutely conscious, right here, right now.

Like how you put that. However, I'd argue that a thought, an idea, can indeed influence you - make you act certain ways and keep "you away from danger". Not all thoughts are garbage. In fact, none is. It's just good to be aware that it's a thought.

And vice versa. It's good if you're capable of being a fully functional person without a partner. You most certainly should acquire the skills necessary to be a fully independent, thriving, centered individual. You should also definitely face your fear of loneliness, fear of not meeting anyone, not having a family, etc. You should definitely spend some quality time on your own, figuring your shit out, figuring yourself out, your life, your purpose, etc. But, once you kind of sort of have all your ducks in line, the natural impulse should be to find a compatible partner to share all the joys and horrors of this life with. Someone who will stick around, through thick and thin. Someone who's not just kind of along for the ride. Because (and I cannot stress this enough) living a life and making big life decisions with the wrong person can and most likely will be disastrous. The damage could be irreversible. And then you and all your dreams and visions and goals are fucked. Done. Nonexistent. If you, however, swing too hard in the other direction, and get a bit too comfortable in your solitude and become one of those super annoying, hyper independent individuals that are terrified of losing control and cannot be reasoned or negotiated with... then yeah, you're also fucked. You're gonna grow into this old, bitter, lonely ghost, that knows not of its own existence and fears the closeness of another soul. You don't want to be stuck in a vicious cycle of jumping from relationship to relationship and never really taking time to introspect, heal and grow, but you also don't want to be isolated for too long and forget what it's like to feel the touch of another and everything else that comes with it. As with pretty much everything, you're looking for that balance. The middle way. The sweet spot. Quality time on your own. And then seeking quality partners and forming strong bonds. You want to be good at all that relationship biz. You want to be a good partner, deep down, trust me. Even if you don't think you do. You need a partner. You crave a good partner that meets your criteria and is compatible with you and has similar values and standards, and is available and willing to do what has to be done, etc. Preferably one that you also find very sexually attractive and all that jazz. You are not really a man without a woman by your side. You know that's true. And the other way around. Women need men by their side. It's simply how we as a species are wired. Be careful out there, it's rather wild. But do participate. There is no other way.

@Applegarden8 Cool dude. Whatever seems right to you. I was not trying to convince you or anyone else to think the way I do. I just share what comes to mind. Good luck. @soos_mite_ah No offense, but I think I read somewhere that you are now in a relationship for the first time ever? I think you need quite a bit more experience in this to be able to understand what I meant in my original post. You and many other members. You simply do not have enough experience in real, serious relationships. And yeah, sure, gay people are no exception. They need each-other too, in their own way. I'm not gay or bi. I was coming from my own standpoint. That's why I wrote about men and women.

@NoSelfSelf Anytime brother All the best.

@NoSelfSelf You don't just tell women how it is and then walk away as soon as they're not willing to follow your instructions. That's not what having a partner is. More like a hostage. She's the one terrified of losing you in that dynamic, for whatever twisted reason, and you are exploiting that and loving the fuck out of it. Which is also cool, if you're both into it I guess. But is that what a healthy, strong and balanced relationship is? Fuck no. Also, it's ok to have heated arguments and fight over shit for the sake of eventually reaching common ground. Or you know, figuring out that it's not working and it's not worth it. It's ok to argue bro. I see that's another thing you're terrified of. God forbid a woman raised her voice at you. The disrespect! The audacity!

@NoSelfSelf Judging by some of the posts I've seen from you before, and this one, I would say that you are most certainly butthurting over something that happened to you and you have hardcore frustrations with the opposite sex. If I was a chick, I would avoid you by all means necessary. Not to be rude, just saying what I see. It's ok to bend a bit sometimes dude. To negotiate and compromise. Not to mention all the sacrifice and struggle that is inevitable if you are serious about your relationships. No one wants to be with a stubborn dick who cannot be reasoned with. Trust me, I tend to be a stubborn dick too.

Some of you guys here are just terrified of women and relationships. That's what it is. You won't admit it of course, so you come up with all kinds of stupid delusional ideas to justify your ways. I'm not saying anything outrageous here. It's not rocket science. It's just nature. Men and women need each-other.

@Applegarden8 You don't really know what you're missing if you never had it. Like me not knowing what it's like to have a dad lol. Again, nothing wrong with being alone. In fact, you should be alone for quite some time. But I would argue that in the long run, if you want to be a healthy and balanced individual, you need a compatible partner by your side. This thread is not at all about seeking validation from women. Read more carefully.

@Sugarcoat You would think that if you were not secure in your masculinity and you had an issue with the opposite sex. Most hyper masculine guys are actually super afraid of real commitment and they absolutely suck at being in a relationship. You don't need a woman in a desperate, codependent way. You need a woman in a balanced, co and pro creating way. The journey is far more exciting if you have someone to share it with too. But that does not mean that solitude does not have its benefits and is not beautiful in its own way. We need the opposite sex. In many ways. And like it or not, we do depend on each-other on all kinds of levels.

What then?

You forget this is not the nonduality godhead section of the forum

For me it's the other way around. My girlfriend is bi and she's trying to make me question my sexuality, when I'm absolutely sure that I don't like dick. I can appreciate a good looking, high value man - I'm not blind. I'm just really not gay. Like zero sexual attraction to the same sex. And I'm tired of people shaming me for being straight. Is that a thing? Straight shaming? But yeah. My girlfriend is the one who's bullshitting over here lol.

I am very comfortable with my feminine side. I just don't want to be anywhere close to a penis. Sometimes my girlfriend says I'm homophobic. Which I really think I'm not. I just have bad experience with gay dudes trying to force a dick down my throat, because 'how can you know you don't like it if you don't try?'. So fucking stupid. But yeah, there's that.

I know the struggle my man.

Yes, do that... if you're 5

There is no darkness and no unconsciousness. Those are just ideas.

Consciousness lol.