ivankiss

Except that it does not, really.

Look at all you guys now being pissed because you don't exist But seriously, there is no you and no I in enlightenment... I know you really, really want to be God, but you just can't.

@Princess Arabia The post is saying one thing; there is no you, no I, no identity in God - Realization. It's super easy to twist and mix things up.

Beliefs. Nothing else.

God doesn't wanna wake up, so he sends his sleep agents to put the awakened ones back to sleep.

I know this might be a dream come true for a lot of guys, but I'm not so sure it's mine too. It is not the first time that I'm dating a bisexual girl, and in the past it might have been a turn on of some sort... but now it's kind of bugging me. I was in a threesome situation once or twice before, and it can be awesome, but I'm not sure if I'd like that to become my lifestyle. My girlfriend obviously craves the attention and the touch of the same sex. It is something that I cannot really give to her. I don't have a pussy. She would be more than willing to go out, hit on girls and bring them in our bed. And she's quite good at it too. The success rate would be high, I'm sure. But I can't say I'm thrilled about the idea. For some reason it makes me see her as a less of a serious partner... and more just like a fun adventure type of a girl. Problem is, I'm already too in love to play these games. Would you be ok with your girlfriend hitting on other girls? Maybe bringing them home or maybe not... Maybe even dating one of them more seriously... Should I be cool and try to ride this wave, or should I stand for my truth and simply say that it's not good for me right now? Where do you stand on this?

She respects my boundaries, to the best of her abilities. But sometimes she slips... like the other day at this new year's party... She got quite drunk and was flirting with chicks left and right. I know she craves it... That is the real question, indeed. And the answer is sadly no. None of them usually do... that's why I don't wife them up I don't think that's what I worry about... more like some nasty triangulation, if anything. To be honest, it simply feels like cheating to me. Unless that's kind of the agreement from the get go, I'm not cool with it. Once I truly commit, I see one person and one person only. I have no need for anyone else. And to see my partner having those desires, makes me think that she is far less serious, committed or in love. Yes. Perhaps encouraging them to leave, too.

Thanks guys. We spoke about this, numerous times. I told her that honestly, as I am right now, I am not cool with it. I don't want her hitting on other chicks. But I also said that I can see how somewhere down the line I could open up to the idea. Idk... it just doesn't sit right with me at this point in my life. Why would it be completely fine for her to hit on girls in front of me or behind my back, but totally wrong if she was to entertain other dudes the same way? Isn't it kind of same - same? And who's to say she wouldn't? It feels a bit off and nasty to me... it's not what I'm looking for at this particular time. It's not the kind of a relationship that I envisioned.

You only figure out solipsism when you figure out that it's a belief. Nihilism, solipsism, alcoholism... none of it is Truth. Being conscious right now has nothing to do with any ideology, any belief, any condition, any state, any 'ism'. It's effortless and it does not mean anything.

Anything one says about it, is not it. Everything has changed and nothing has changed. Experience is diverse, filled with all kinds of ups and downs. What's stable, unmovable, unchanged... is the truth of being. It is omnipresent.

There is a fear, deep, deep down beneath. A fear that is not necessarily tied to one's survival. It is not a fear of death, really. It is deeper than that. Much more terrifying. Paralyzing. It does not exclude death, but what is truly feared seems to lay beyond death. It seems to occur once death has already passed through being and has done its deed. It is The Fear of God. And what God seems to be most afraid of... is seeing its own face. Figuratively speaking, of course. This might not be the most un - deluded way to describe it, but imagine recognizing your own face in the mirror, for the very first time ever. Imagine freaking the fuck out about it, because all this time you had no idea that the mirror is showing your face. You had no idea what the reflection was saying. In fact, you had no idea that there was a reflection or a mirror to begin with. It's kind of like that, except that it's awareness recognizing itself as awareness. Seeing itself in the mirror - if you will. Catching its own reflection. In real time. The experience is beyond my ability to articulate. In fact, it could be said that there, precisely there, is where experience dissolves. There is no experience in pure light. But what 'leads to that' and 'how it comes to that' - if you will... is breathtaking - to say the least. Frozen in terror. Existential paradox. To do is to not do. To see is to not see. To be is to not be. Infinite paradox. In every direction, in every way. Unavoidable. Unstoppable. Ripple effect. A downward spiral only to resurface. The walls are closing in, there is less and less breath, but more and more light. Vortex. And then... nothing. Not even that. Does this ring a bell?

@Ariel the Lion Face Every now and then someone would write to me something this heartfelt, real and moving... A few words in and that was it... I fell in love. Nothing I could do. Thank you so very much. Not just for the kind and warm words, but simply for stepping forth and reminding us all about a way that is perhaps not as popular and as glorified as other ways, but is arguably the most real, raw and direct way. To face absolute fear and terror, pain and suffering, devastation, humiliation... and to realize oneness in that 'space'... to realize it is nothing less than divinity... to declare light in absolute darkness... that's really something else. I'll just say, it takes a real badass motherfucker to go down that road. Much love and respect. @Kuba Powiertowski Thank you. There is peace and clarity in abiding in pure observance. Not picking sides. Not doing, not choosing. Just observing. Pure observance is not foreign. But what pure observance lacks, is participation. Action. Movement. To know yourself as that unbiased observer, but still dare to stand for something and face all the challenges that come with that... well, that's something else, again. It requires an enormous amount of humility. Many are stuck in the ether, in denial, afraid of facing the not so pretty side of truth. Of being. And that stands in the way of full integration and embodiment. It stands in the way of being. From a certain point of view, of course. All the best to you.

@Javfly33 As long as there is duality, there is fear.

@Kuba Powiertowski Yes to everything that you said, but you missed the point of the thread. It's not about any stories, tricks or ideas. It's about a feature, a quality of consciousness. If there is a self and The Self... there is also a paradox and The Paradox. The fear I speak of is also not just any fear that arises every other day. It could be said that this fear is the source of all fear.

Imperfection you will find Look close enough, tear off the mask I need This endeavor is not mine You subject me to the daggers you conceive I'm stronger than I was before Thus you reinforce these walls, I can't fight you anymore Threatened by the open door All the chances I ignore, I can't stand still anymore

Bro, that's it, you cracked it... It's just an alien having a nihilistic crisis. That's what all this is. It's all in an alien's mind.

Da. Some wild dreams you're having there brother.

One saying to another one that they do not exist is a paradox. It is a nonsensical thing to do. Are you telling it to yourself through me or am I telling it to myself through you? Perhaps both and none simultaneously. There is no need for anyone to know about their supposed existence or non-existence. It is impossible to know. Let alone communicate it.

@Galyna Yes. What I'm referring to in this thread is but a memory in my mind right now. A memory of completing the cycle - if you will. The fear I am referring to is also not present at the moment. It is tied to this memory of facing complete annihilation. I can flirt with it and evoke it, but right now, I am nowhere near to that horrific experience held in this memory. Ideas, beliefs, identities... None of that is bothering me really. In fact, I am trying to be as creative as I can with those and make them as reflective of my true nature as possible. It's very much like a game, or a dream, yes. But also, not at all. It is good to be aware and see things for what they are. But that does not mean those things are in your way. It is good to see a thought, an idea, a belief for what it is. But it's not necessarily in your way. Same way I see a cup in front of me now. It's good to be aware that it's just a label projected on raw reality, but it is also good to simply pick up the cup and have some coffee. Perhaps have a little chat over it with your friend. Awareness is not afraid of dreaming. It is more afraid of waking up, if anything. But once that's done too, going in and out, beyond and deep under, is all good. The light is never truly forgotten, no matter how dark it gets. And just because it's a dream, it does not mean it has to be dark, not at all.

@Squeekytoy For sure. I imagine we only use a slightly different language but are pointing towards the same thing. @Galyna Yes, I like how you put that. Thank you. I heard this once, and I like to think about it that way... From a how's or a who's point of view, it happens... backwards.

Because there is no such thing as non existence. There is only infinite existence. Death is an illusion. Very real as an experience. But experience as a whole is illusory. Pure existence extends beyond death. Beyond experience. Being cannot be killed. Because it's not exactly a walk in the park. It is quite literally the most mind - blowing thing in existence. If one is on this path and does not experience absolute fear and terror at some point, something's not right. What I'm doing here, is digging into that fear, trying to understand and explain it.

Self - awareness. Awareness is nondual, indeed. But there is a portion of awareness - if you will - that does not recognize itself as awareness. And that precise moment when it does, which is obviously always now... that's when experience dissolves, that's when there is no more observer and the observed, that's when there is nothing but awareness at all. It is in its nature to be (self) aware. It does not require anything over there to be aware of, it does not require an over here, and it does not require a distance in - between. It is just aware. And there is nothing else for it to be aware of other than itself. But also, yes, it is most definitely the mind (which is awareness too) playing tricks on itself. If there is a game, this is the very final level. The endgame. That would still point towards death, just some more meta form perhaps. - Which is a legit fear, for sure. But I would say that fully recognizing yourself as you are, in your entirety, in your infinitude... that's the biggest fear of them all. It includes death but it does not stop there. It exists for a very good reason - I'd say. And if transcended, there is unity only. God is.

If I was you, I wouldn't consider much more than sex. Could be a good fuck buddy material, but the fact that you're working together is not too great either. Chances are you both gonna regret it. Be careful.

Yes, it's nice to see through thought. To see its limitations and its effect. However, I'd say that the idea is not to be thoughtless at all times, but rather to think well. Creative thoughts are great, for example. Words of affirmation, gratitude, respect and love, too. Still just thoughts and not the absolute truth, but definitely much closer to it. Much lighter, much more enjoyable, much less in anyone's way. In fact, acting on "high vibe thoughts" can lead one all the way, for sure.

So... You caught a few glimpses, had a realization or two, did some psychedelics, some meditation... and now you're awake, right? Now you're going around telling people how it's all One and they're all stuck in their ego, right? If that's you, great. I'm here to let you know just how deluded and far away from being awake you are. You only traded your old, materialistic ego for a new, sparkling spiritual ego, in an attempt to reach enlightenment. Innocent but wrong. If you're doing the work correctly, this is unavoidable. You will most certainly develop a spiritual ego at some point. And if you're intelligent enough, you will soon realize that it's just as flawed, limited and nasty, as any other ego, if not more. You will realize that it must be annihilated. If you want to truly awaken, that is. If you're wearing baggy hippy clothes, have crystals all over your apartment, dream catchers and sacred geometry on your walls... it might be too late for you. You created an identity too strong around this whole spiritual biz, and it's going to be extremely difficult for you to see past that and transcend it. It might seem to you as if you're being tricked back into your materialistic ego. As if you're falling from grace. Losing your enlightenment lol. You most certainly will resist the process. But it must be done. If you want to awaken, spiritual ego is in your way, to say the least. It is also, in my opinion, incredibly annoying and goofy too. To know a lot of things about enlightenment and create an identity around it is not what being awake is. A truly awakened being could give you no signs at all. They would not speak your everyday spiritual language. Nothing about them would seem spiritual at all. Yet they would be as awake as it gets.