ivankiss

Spirituality is a coping mechanism. Meant to guide you into surrendering to what is. It is conceptual, in a way. True awakening is a far more simple, effortless and autenthic. There is no need; only isness. There is unity. Not conceptual. Actual. One can be spiritual and avoid all concepts here and now only.

What seems to be the great confusion at this time? I know no mentor. But a mentor may not be the only one who can help.

Enlightenment is a word, yes. You cannot and never will be enlightened, indeed. Yet enlightenment shall be. Waking up is looking at everything and seeing nothing. Looking at the hand and seeing no hand, so to speak. The breath is real. As long as you don't call it a breath. 0 = 1 = 0

@Angelite I am not here to make sense. I am here to make nonsense. Love. Don't point to nothing. Nothing sees the point. @iLiveALife I don't need any thing to be anything. I simply choose to express what I choose to express. Notice I am not harming myself or anybody in that way. I have a lot of time. I am that I am. I is transparent.

"There is nothing more beautiful than to be thrown around." -said rock. "There is nothing more beautiful than movement". -said stillness. "There is nothing more beautiful than a flower." -said seed. "There is nothing more beautiful than rain." -said drop. "There is nothing more beautiful than life." -said death. "There is nothing more beautiful than darkness." -said light. "There is nothing more beautiful than the Devil." -said God. "There is nothing more beautiful than one." -said zero. "There is nothing more beautiful than silence." -said noise. "There is nothing more beautiful than tears." -said smile. "There is nothing more beautiful than pain." -said numbness. "There is nothing more beautiful than nothing." -said everything. "There is nothing more beautiful than insanity." -said sanity. "There is nothing more beautiful than curve." -said straight. "There is nothing more beautiful than time." -said infinity. "There is nothing more beautiful than ugly." -said beauty. There is nothing more than less. There is nothing beautiful here.

"Tough love" and harshness can be mature and wise instead of immature and annoying. It can be apropreate. The ego is not your enemy. It never was. There are no enemies, damn it. The ego is like your little ignorant brother. He can be viewed as cute and harmless instead of evil, delusional and stupid. You would not kick a kid in his balls and expect him to understand you are doing it out of love now, would you? And afterwards call him deluded because he has no clue what the hell is going on. Try kicking an ascended master in the balls and see where that goes, if you notice such tendencies. I am not saying there should be rainbows and gay unicorns all around this place. Do not view the word "love" in such a limited way. I could be saying there needs to be more of nothing here, but that would not make much sense to everyone, would it now? Diversety is nescesery. Thank god for it's existence. I am not saying everyone should be a care bear. But those who are wise enough should try and use their wisdom in a more aligned way as well. Not simply troll in a loop senslessly. Show how masterfully you can use lower expressions as arrogance and cockyness if you claim to be such a master. Don't do it like a 12 year old and call yourself enlightened. I worship both God and the Devil. I love them both deeply. That is how they are one. That is how the two stay balanced. Do not build a fake online presence and try to apear as more than you are. Know where you are. Be where you are. Do whatever the hell you feel like doing, just don't lie to yourself and others about it. Stop coming up with excuses and be awake here and now. After all, this "just forum" thing is an extention of you. Quite literally. Take care of it. I feel like I said what I felt like saying. No need to run in circles. Final note: There can be more unity and less non duality

Thank you for reminding me that I have a choice to leave this comunity whenever I choose to. Do others who justify their rudeness by further delusion have the same choice? Or is it an ilussion to them? If you are so proud of not being delusional why are you acting deluded? Who is acting deluded? Not me, I don't exist. You also don't, you just think you do. Who is you? What is who? Where do I begin and where do you end? Yadayadayada. Is that really constructive? Is that...cool? You are kicking ass at being nothing. As I do at judging myself. I realize the paradox may feel good and be fun. Non dual trolls are very important. But they should not overflow and create even more confusion. You have a choice. Now. Use it wisely.

@ground No cause. They just are what they are.

Good for you.

What seems to be the matter, @ground ? It seems to me like you are a computer stuck in a loop of denial. Are the ones and zeros in proper order? Does that make you feel good; when I call you a heartless computer? Is there really nobody there who can feel anything? Are you really here to deny existence rather than embrace it? Are you really here to be stuck on exposing to yourself there is nothing here? Are you here to tell everyone how awake you are? Or are you here to...be...awake? I do not fight with concepts. I see through them.

Also; do note that this may not have much to do with me or my opinions. I have simply recognized the opportunity to use my ability to express a perspective. I might not identify with this perspective entirely. I might in fact, at this moment not care at all. This topic may have been posted by anyone before or after me. I simply gave a voice to that which was afraid of speaking, so to speak. I believe there are many here who are capable of showing much higher qualities during exchange of information. It can be more effortless and pleasant for both parties. It could also be more pleasant to the eye of the reader or guest. It may attract new members more effortlessly. You have to realize, that by throwing diagnoses around you actually create prisons and further limitations for individuals that are not yet free. If they choose to take your opinion seriously and identify with the labels you throw onto them it might have a negative effect. It might as well come back and bite you in the ass. I think we can agree we have enough concepts, models and guidelines. No need to feed concepts with more concepts. What we need is simple, direct experience of acceptance, connection, honesty and love. We should not try to define ourselfs and everyone else. Instead, we should know we cannot be defined. We are all there is. Apologies for all the shoulds, woulds, coulds and mights. Do see the limitation of words here. I am merely expressing oneness to the best of my current ability. Do not look down on your brothers and sisters. They are the reason you even exist, so to speak. Rather, be playful with them. Be gentle. Know how and when to interact. Value those interactions. Not a single one of them is by accident. Try to see your intentions and their impact.

I realize this topic might be viewed as pointless. One could argue there is nothing to balance here or anywhere else for that matter and that everything is already as perfect as it can be. However, I do not feel like we are here to do that. We did not start this journey to use divine perfection as an excuse for arrogance and ridicule those who suggest ideas about change for the benefit of all. I would not say this is just an online forum. To me it seems this is much more than that. It is a rare expression of a higher form of infinite intelligence at this time, here on this plane. It is a movement which will, and already does, benefit and help this civilization in many ways. This organization has a lot of dimensions to it and it should be viewed as an important game-changer. I do take notes when noticing your suggestions on being the change myself, if I desire to see change. I absolutely agree on that. My intention is not to just critisize and do nothing about anything. I have been aligned with my purpose for two thirds of this lifetime. I know exactly what I am supposed to do and how to do it. I am living that purpose with my every breath. However, things do organize in their own way here on this plane. There are many elements that need proper recognition and mastery. That is why, I'll admit, I feel a bit surpressed and unable to share what I know I have to share. You could say I'm not quite on that position yet. And that's quite alright. I know time is my friend. I know the illusion itself is my own creation. And it is lovely. I am an artist, first and foremost. I feel like reaching out to the masses and creating impact in a musical way mainly. Hovewer, lately I have been kinda disabled to create in that form and express myself; that is why I seek alternatives such as this. One could argue I am even a bit bored, impatient and even desperate. But that does not mean there is no validity in my suggestions. Those are still honest and constructive, in my opinion. I mainly wanted to reach higher enteties involved in this movement and remind them, as well as myself, that we all were once blind. We should make the choice to help those who stll cannot see in a more aligned way. When those "less advanced" notice the invitation of love and acceptance you may find, that a lot of natural alignment will occur. A lot of issues, distortions and confusion shall size to appear. I also just feel like having honest connections and interactions here on this forum. I feel like there are no many places for one to have such an experience at this time. I know many desire the same. Maybe I just wanted to let you and this organisation know how much love I have for you all. Although I can't even tell if any of you really exist, from this point of view, that does not really matter. Love does not ask questions. I am you; you are me and we should join in unity; slowly, to the best of our current abilities. I want to emphasize, if it is not apparent by now, that no harm was intended by this topic. I am so grateful for all the hints and help I received on this forum. Directly and indirectly. I am so pleased to see where we are heading. Also please note, this is not a rant against Leo. One could say; actualized.org ranted against itself. In order to express itself more fully and become a bit more transparent. Much love and respect to you all.

That is relative. You could say it takes hundreds of lifetimes or you could say it all happens in an instance. Who knows? One can only become aware when one starts waking up. And I know that is obvious to many. Everyone is not equally evolved, indeed. That is why those who are more advanced should set good examples and pointers. But I see what you mean. Thank you.

There is nothing wrong with acting ridiculously. But one has to be conscious enough to recognize circumstances when such acting might be appropriate and useful, so to speak. Humor can be humble, subtle, honest and harmless. It does not have to fight for attention. One should be able to distinguish true authentisity from past playing itself out. One should be aware if one is ridiculing others merely because he himself might have been ridiculed before. SD is great. But it should be emphasized that you are not chained to any stage, even if it may seem so. One is able to work on many stages simultaniously. One can also have qualities of all stages regardless of circimstaces and opinions. The idea of needing 50 years to reach certain stages seems abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous to me. You are waking up into your own kingdom. You should embrace every moment of that experience. You could also, however, avoid denying a big chunk of yourself and create further limitations. One can naturally feel into this process. There is not much to be said about it. There should be, rather, more celabration and appreciation for us being where we are at all. There should be more graditude and embracing. This is the most epic thing anyone could ever dare to dream about. The miricle of it should not be buried under over-conceptualization. The uniqueness of each and every one's journey should be emphasized and ebmraced. We cannot fail in evolution. We can only create an accelerated, more fun and kickass awakaning experience of the whole fucking planet. Not in 50 years. Now. Of course I am projecting myself onto the forum, duh. I project myself onto everything, so to speak. However I am very aware of the mirror and it's qualities. I know what and why am I doing. I have no troubles with exposing that. I do not avoid honesty and transparancy. I am not ashaimed of my nature. I am also very glad to see a lot of resonance on this topic. I love you all. And not in a cheesy manner. You all rock. We're rockin' bebeh! Don't forget to do your homework tho

@purerogue I agree on this. I feel like this is way too often used as an excuse for arrogance and ignorance. It is true those expressions are nescesary and can be very effective, but I would not call that a very aligned or harmonius interaction. The intention there is "I don't care how it looks or feels as long as it works", rather than "I am using my wisdom to create space for this individual to reach higher understanding". @Elysian Much of what you wrote resonates. I am, in fact, working on creating an impact and lead the ones who feel like following. I am yet to blossom into that role fully; still, it seems to be inevitable. But while I am also a part of this comunity, I choose to express my opinions and - in my opinion - constructive criticism. I am simultaniosly taking notes on how I desire to construct movements when the moment shines. I admire Matt Kahn and his ways. Among many other lighworkers. However, I do not feel like joining any other comunity than my own. As cocky as that may sound. I also desire, for each and every one of those who choose to follow, to strive towards achieving mastery on their own. Without much guidence or conceptual chaos. Maybe one day someone will critisize my ways in a simular manner. It is my choice to be considerate, open and compassionate if and when that moment comes. I just wanted to emphasize transparency, oneness and the joys and thrills of the journey. I am famliar with SD. It is a very well put model. It is also highly accurate. But we cannot deny it is conceptual. The foundation of a movement towards an enlightened civilization, or whatever you want to call it, should be grounded in absolute oneness and love. Not in concepts. Without discrediting those and saying they are unimportant.

@Aimblack I do not aim to critisize Leo as much as I do the body or the structure of the organization. It could be more fully expressed and it probably will be. There is not much that could be done, other than reminding ourselves what this is all about actually. Becoming aware of our already existing connection and unity. Everyone can express their states of being without minimizing or judging anyone else's. That is not such a hard thing to understand and master. I feel like that should be the foundation for movements and comunities like this.

@purerogue Of course I did not. But I tried to include the idea of relativity for the conversation's sake. I am very glad I "bumped into" a few amazing people on this forum. Happy to see you took away something from my story

I mean, c'mon. It's not like anyone would try to recreate this experience for themselves after reading my story. Thinking that is what is the delusion; not me being honest and transparent; not me sharing my deepest fears and creating an opportunity for others to learn from. Please be honest with yourself about your own fears. This is a self-help forum. Not a self-destruction forum. Are my intentions not obvious then? If you are trying so hard to demystify psychadelics, try not denying a part of them.

@Lynnel Thing is, I am actually dead. I did not survive that night; something else did. And what's also bullshit is people being extremely narrow minded and scared of life itself. Relativity is a thing, yes. But if you are unable to extract meaning and value from other people's "misfortune", that is something to look into. If judgdement and fear are the first things to rise up, that alone lets you know where you are standing. Was I smart mixing these substances? No. Was I into having the experience I had? No. Was I ignorant? Yes. Then again, I experienced something only a few dare to experience. I faced fear on a level others get uncomfortable to even think about, let alone experience it. Now if you think I did not take away anything from that, it is probably because of your own stupidity and ignorance. The only mistake I made, when I chose to share my story here, was that I assumed the members of this comunity are more open minded, transparent and accepting. I had only good intentions. I wanted to spread light onto something everyone seems to be so afraid of. I do not promote teenage stupidity. I create understanding for myself and those who have the capacity to understand.

How to be a mirror? How to be cool with being constantly "misperceived"? How to stop runing from the reflection? Why does something that doesn't matter matter? How to be cool with triggering and not slip into explaining that, which needs no explanation? How to stop returning to the maze? How to stop asking? How to just know?

I push boundaries with transparency. I expose the I to extents I never dared to go before. I try to love the fear. Others seem not to be responding to fear with love and accaptence. I made a breakthrough, one could say. I left the past where it was. I travelled to the other side of the world. I have been living in a completely new enviroment as a new version for a long time. The only one who has been going through this transformation simultaniously is my girlfriend. But our paths are not identical; we realize this. I tend to get arrogant. I tend to expose and brag about my progress. I tend to be ideological. I tend to listen poorly. I also get upset when I am not heard. At times I get nuts if I get misunderstood. I also receive the same feedback. Interactions with strangers are smooth, open and effortless. A few friends from my past are entering my reality again. A newer version of them. But the old me is so dofferent I now fear to be fully authentic. I fear to be perceived as an arrogant dick and full of myself. In fact I am full of myself. But I am also empty. Is wanting to be noticed, acknowledged and appreciated what's bugging me? I know I am capable of showing appreciation and admiration. Is wanting to receive the same a trap? Should I be the one who is generous regardless? Or should I just not give a fuck? Thank you.

This topic is one. I am unable to stop asking questions I know the answers to. They are essentially one question; merely the form is changing. I recognize the paradox, but I still choose to stay in it. I cannot escape the sense that there is something more and I keep asking. Another one would be; when I interract socially. I have conflicting approaches. Sometimes loving, other times cocky. Allthough I know it is all out of love in essence. I care about how I will be perceived and will my appearance trigger others. Sometimes the mind enjoys this paradox; other times it gets lost in it.

This may not be a serious emotional problem, but it certainly feels uncomfortable. The past two years have been all about trancending limitations and becoming the aunthentic self. It has been both a process of personal development as well as spiritual expansion. It was quick, intense and messy. Two years felt like twenty. Everything was deleted - wiped out. I literally had nothing but blind faith and love. Turns out; that was exactly what it took me to transform. I am arriving here and now. Full time. For the first time. I see all the gifts getting closer; confirming the shift. I am about to receive everything I ever wanted. And I mean everything. I barely see any limits left. Yet I struggle to fully embody this new frequency and maintain it effortlessly. I feel exhausted of all the hard work during theese two years. And I also tend to get hyped way too fast, way too much about all the beauty and freedom "heading my way". I tend to spend a lot of time in imaginationland; fantasizing about what is yet to be. I don't blame myself. It is allowed. I like it. But it may not be wise to spend too much time this way now. I know grounding is what it is all about now. I desire to be here; now. It is the only place where I can be what I know I am. But I have this weird sensation I'm overlooking something. I am struggling to fully believe I finally "made it". I know I did, but the echo is still loud. Should I be with the past version of me as it is dying? Or should I just know it is dying and shift my focus elsewhere? Is physical activty desired in these states? Or is rest more recomanded? Is fantasy/visualization yay or nay? Should there be mindfulness only? Thank you, much love.

A vision came to me today. It also felt like a memory, strangly. In this vision I was a picture. A perfect expression of one captured moment. I was also fully aware of my totality. Yet I was frozen in terror, so to speak. Everything was static and timeless. As complete as it can be. The subject was an object, so to speak. Is this how reality is once fully realized? What are the mechanics behind this illusion of movement? What makes it apparent? I am not questioning free will. I know it exists here and now. I am merely curious about the topic.

@Matt8800 I do realize those are concepts. I often notice them fading away. What is interesting to me is the fact that now seems to be changing constantly, regardless of concepts. Now is still, not going anywhere. Yet there are infinite versions and expressions of it. When I reflect back onto this I am applying time, I realize that. But when there is no me to think about past or future, change still happens. Is now a concept as well? The insight I had was including no movement or change whatsoever. And no me. @LastThursday What would life look like if I was to forget about past and future? I know this is pointing to infinity. I am just...worried I might end up trapped somehow. Is living here on this planet at this time even possible without reinforcing the idea of time? Will the concept of it fade away naturally, eventually?