ivankiss

@ajasatya Like this a lot. Thanks. Have that role often. But also seem to be attached to the lone wolf idea somewhat. Ya'all have proven my statement false. I have so many friends here. Kind and loving ones. We'll get physical at some point, for sure All connections are soul connections, I kno'. Just had to get this out. Grieve some. Thank you all so much. You are wonderful. @Mikael89 I said I chickened out. Nothing to congratulate for haha. I do seem to form connections with women more effortlessly, naturally. Would be your wing at some point, gladly

In the same boat. On and off. Not thought based, really. Maybe reinforced by them. Occurring spontaneously, on a physical level. My heart wants to jump out of my mouth. Difficulties with breathing. Contraction in gut area. Massive panic. Managed to tame by laying down and waiting for death to come for me. That way it just passes through, eventually. Imo, it's just a new level of accepting death. For real - not just in fantasy land. Signifies a great ongoing transformation and an upcoming massive shift. Huge upgrade! Try to surrender and embrace. You'll be fine. I'm still breathing heh.

@JohnnyBravo I feel like my standards have been too low until now haha. I was lying to myself for so long just so I could match with someone. If I look inwards now; there are no standards anymore. I just finally know who I am and do not fear to be it. By myself or around others. Men's support group? Don't have an idea what that is Sounds like not my thing tho.

@Michael569 I guess the idea is to make the world my home. Exploration and diverse experience seems to be relevant now. Settling down will wait forever. Moving around also compliments my mission/purpose. Wasn't feeling this aligned before. Happy for ya. Wish you all the best. @JohnnyBravo Appreciate it man, but you missed that one. Small talk is natural to me. Not shy or introverted at all. Talking to strangers on a daily basis. Effortlessly. I am referring to deep, soul connections. Not random small talk. Had a grieving ceremony, too. Cried like a lil bitch. Felt great. Looking forward now. Fresh and open for possibilities. Thanks tho!

@Michael569 EU is not my home. I don't have a physical home that is tied to a particular location. I do sense a pull back there, mainly cuz I know some sick musicians and producers there. Would love to lock myself in a studio with them. Finding good quality musicians that click can be equally as challenging. Even more. But all in all; I'd rather move forward, not back. Asia resonates for now. Maybe Australia. Even USA. Will see. I might, however, continue the journey by myself. Gf seems to be pulled in a different direction. What about you? Are you happy where you are?

You sound like my mother lol. Glad I'm not most of the people. I guess that is exactly the mentality I aimed to escape. It's all about comfort zone for (most) Europeans. Nearly had a foursome with three Swedish chicks once tho. Chickened out lol. They're wild; dunno how you manage not to get laid.

I love; You love. We all love. Love prevails over all. Love does not choose. It makes no exceptions. Notices no difference. To Love all is Love. And all makes Love; eternally, unstoppably. Silently, loudly. Innocently. In Union. You and I... We are but a Love Story. A story of life. A story of death. All prior and all after. The in-between. All beneath, all above, all beyond. No thing is out of nothing but Love. I know I hurt you. Love hurts at times. I know I disappointed you. Love had different plans than we did. I know I made you cry, far too many times. In sadness Love is often found. I showed my teeth. I yelled out loud. Anger is Love too; unrecognized. I apologize. Honestly, I do. Not because I failed you... But because that is Love, too. I simply have to. I want to. For that is the game of Love. Our life, our death and that which will carry on. Wherever it may roam... Wherever it may take itself... I am but a carrier of that light. May you see yourself in me. Now. May Love live through me. Illuminate me and the blind. May we all see the path clearly. Return to innocence. Return Home. In pain love yourself the most. Let pain remember its source. Let it purify itself through your divine being. Help pain remember Love. Be its guide. Be its home. In solitude fulfill your heart with Love. May emptiness remember it is whole, instead of hollow. Warm and united. Unseen, untouched. Pure. Transparent. May loneliness feel close to Love. May it forget separation, isolation. May it merge with the unseen. Connect to its long lost brothers and sisters. May it find eternal peace now. Love the one that feels lonely. Be its guide and company. Walk alongside. In fear breathe deeper than ever before. Fear is distant, it shivers, it's cold. Give it warmth, give it shelter. Earn its trust. Trust it back. For so long it was viewed as a nemesis. A cast out. Unworthy of seeing divine light. Let fear know; it too is welcome home. It too has a place to be. To sit at the same table. To merge with Divinity. For far too long was fear looked down on; demonized, discredited, pushed away and underestimated. May it see your repentance. May fear forgive you. May it forgive us all. For fear is nothing else but Love. I can be nowhere else but in Love. I can do nothing else but Love. Make nothing else, express nothing else, perceive nothing else. And I could definitely not do it without You. Thank You for making me see Love. Thank You for giving me life. I am grateful beyond any word. Beyond all thoughts, even myself. Forever, I am. In Love with You.

@llumin Glad to see some 'shuggah fans here! Been obsessed with them a few years ago. Rediscovering my love for them these days. They are a powerhouse! @now is forever They require some adjustment and getting used to - even if you are into rougher forms of music. And especially if you're not a musician. Their music is based on complex polyrhythms and sickass, unconventional grooves. The mind is usually not used to it by default. But once you get a hold of it; it's a whole new world hah! The lyrics are pretty much enlightenment, in methol language.

Squint your eyes to see clearly. Blur reality to make it real Let focus go from your deceiving eyes to know what's been concealed We've all been blinded - Subjects to visual misinformation A systematic denial of the crystalline Our light-induced image of truth - Filtered blank of its substance As our eyes won't adhere to intuitive lines Everything examined. Separated, one thing at a time The harder we stare the more complete the disintegration To see the fine grain, to read the hidden words The context of parallel truth - Devoid of fragmentation Eyes re-opened, susceptible Reasoning focalized. Receptors activated Perspectives distorted The ladder beyond our grasp The twin-headed serpent forever hidden Where's the true knowledge Where engines of the sane & insanity merge the clarity, the unity Reality untouchable, transparent, invisible to our fixed, restricted fields of vision Existence taken for granted, absolute Uncomprehended by our content minds Possessed, owned, run, controlled by the common sense-infected rational gaze Onward forever we walk among the ignorant Never stray from the common lines

Good. Bigger chances without hope. Also you'll avoid being inauthentic AF just for the sake of having someone by your side. I've done that to myself so many times. A whole new level of self-sabotage. Very subtle and sneaky. Moved cuz why not. I am an adventurer. Also have a thing for big steps into the unknown. Got tired of EU. The old, the seen. Netherlands, right? Will hit you up if I make it there. I hope both of us stay friendless until then hah!

@rabbitat Its also easy to use oneness as an excuse for not removing yourself from a particular situation/relationship. I've been forcing shit for too long, thinking "it's all me...it's all one"... Desperately trying to form a common language. Cutting off bullshit is a natural next step in my personal journey of evolution. Constant dissonance is a good enough indicator for me. No desire to investigate the reasons why. Nuff inquiry. No beef either, rly. Simple reorientation. Rearrangement. Fast and straight forward. Something I never dared to do before.

Don't bug yourself too much with who or what is and isn't. It is unnecessary. Do those kinds of investigations and inquiries once you recover fully and feel stable. It is irrelevant right now; from what I am perceiving. I realize this might be hard for you to do, as you are seeking brilliance, after all haha. But srsly, just drop it for now. Attached or detached, who cares? No one. What you need now is self-care and self-love. Rest. Comfort. Nurturing. At least your body seems to be giving you those signs. Listen to it. Forget about nothing and nobody. Recover. Avoid over thinking and being trapped in the mind. Walk, or whatever. Also take it easy at your job. My advice. Take or leave. I hope everything turns out good for ya!

You're all so goddamn awesome. I can only hope you know. Unique and sexy. Flawless expressions of Love. Infinite Intelligence. You rock my world! Keep on doing your shit. You absolutely kick ass! *metaphysical hugs and kisses*

experiencer = A belief = B impossible = C A + B ≠ C A + B = AB AB = experience ( of belief ) C = B A + C = A(b)C C + A = CA CA ≠ A(b)C CA = impossible experience Contemplate.

I like how you think this should make sense Ya'all need to learn the language of nonsense. You overlook nothing it's not there, but it is. Math sucks, btw.

Can't be both.

NO! I AM NOTHING! ?

@now is forever cannot claim credit for this one. Meshuggah is the autor. Holder of deep truth. Felt an urge to share. Beautiful indeed. Spot on.

@rabbitat So enlightening

Btw; Having no friends does not equal being lonely

@Athena ? @d0ornokey Right. Time is not an enemy anymore Effort can be effortless

@DrewNows "Uncanny" just became a part of my dictionary Thanks! ?

First they seemed like angels to me, when they came knocking on the door. I was in heaven with my one foot already. But when I heard they wanna "take me with them"... oh boy. It was hell. I was an animal, fighting for my survival. I was 100% convinced they wanted to drag me to the insane asylum. And that was precisely what the process felt like. Landed in a hospital, instead. Just didn't know it. Do not ever mix random drugs. Especially if you have no idea of what the dosage is and what could that kind of ignorance lead to. I would honestly suggest that to everybody. Use drugs wisely and maturely. Define the recreational intent of use and expansional one. Certain difference is important beyond speach. Don't be stupid. Don't be like me. Hearth centeredness is essential now, prior to substance (ab)use. Much love to ya'all insane motherfu#kers! (Humor heals, too)

@Serotoninluv wise-versa ? @abrakamowse thanks for reading