ivankiss

@abrakamowse jesus on the cross said; "father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." - forgiveness. compassion. love. and then he also said; "father, why have you forsaken me?" - separation. suffering. ego. one breath. one being.

@abrakamowse it means who the fuck cares. only love matters ego/god is a duality. the heart knows no difference. The heart loves whatever arises. as both god and the ego. as one.

@zeroISinfinity try loving the sadness you feel. ego is not meant to be killed. ego is meant to be integrated. aligned. ya wanna ascend to the heavens? well guess what will ascend? an ego. an integrated one. a loving one. not a dead one. love yourself. don't deny your self thinking god will be proud of you if you suffer more than anyone else. god wants to be you. he wants you to love being you. are you loving being you? or are you "annihilating" gods masterpiece?

@zeroISinfinity annihilation? nope. lie? nope. seeking? nope. pretty sure we're not typing this from the same place. in pure white there is no light.

@zeroISinfinity old school. Stuck on repeat. Nothing new. Ego is the absolute. Don't skip to the credits too fast. Your first thought will be to experience yourself as an individual.

Here's something you'll all love; God is Ego. Cannot be killed. You suffer cuz you think you must murder yourself to be one. Cuz you're unable to recognise that you are already one. Already perfection. Already God. Dressed up as an ego who's stuck in self denial. Playing hide and seek. Instead of playing life.

Passion.

@ThinAir Can't tell for sure. All I know is that I feel so damn good in my skin right now. Humbled. Grateful for a chance to be. To continue this wonderful journey. I am eager to face whatever it may bring. Happy to be Ivan @okulele Indeed! Life is beautiful! Much love to ya'all! <3

@Nahm Singing. Love matching them frequencies. Feeling them resonate in my body. So excited about experimenting with chanting. A whole new world is born.

Here's a few cool pictures;

@Nahm Checked. Would hear through a new pair of ears though. Bashar is also love. Thanks! @now is forever Probably because of all the misunderstanding, misuse and misinterpretation of the collective. What is being said is often not what is being heard. Society likes chewing up things The character is but a channel. A messenger. The message is free to be used in any relevant way. For any relevant purpose.

Forget about everything you know. Let's talk frequency. Let's talk rates and wavelengths. Let's talk breath. Awareness is pure white. Awareness is light. Frequency determines how frequently appearance is. Everything you experience is frequency, including you. Frequency is also tightly connected to density. Become aware of the core frequency. In it reality is born. Make more space for the breath. This way you will hear the frequency. Be aware of it. Merge with it. Isolating yourself and plugging/covering your ears helps. Silence is required. You can increase or decrease your frequency at will. With pure intention. Through breath and awareness. If not aware; the shifts occur automatically. The breath dictates rate and length. The rate at which the frequency resonates and reality appears to be. Nothing is a vacuum. Nothing is nonexistence. Pre-manifestation. Undefined. Pure, unlimited potential. Infinite intelligence. The YOU-niverse. The heart is the center. The heart is home. It is where you begin. It is where you end. It resonates at 528Hz. Although that might be relative. Anything outside of the center is distortion. A journey. Exploration of other frequencies and realms of light. Of densities. They are, essentially, home. Core frequency. Just altered. Played with. Increased or decreased. Added to. Wander all you want; explore. Integrate as much as you desire. Love. Remember the way back home. Master frequency. Master breath. And you will master reality. Master existence. Master love and light. Knowledge is fun, too. Get creative! (successfully ascended)

Went to a wonderful Buddhist temple. Prayed to God; asked for strength and guidance. God responded. Tears were shed, energy was released. Found home and peace. Feeling grounded and blissful now. I am not alone. @now is forever Would appreciate information. I am currently located in the region of Mount Lavinia. Thank you.

Thanks everyone. Would love to get back at you with a full reply, but I am just unable to think in that direction for now. Will update you asap. Really appreciate your support. Have no one to turn to outside of this forum. Rest and laughter seem to help. Much love.

@Leo Gura Thank you. That helped. I definitely feel like intuitive physical activity is what centers me. Puts me in the zone. Gets me flowing. Been doing all that. But I also feel like the more I flow, the bigger the mindfuck gets if I slip back into the pattern. It is incredibly paradoxical, because radical surrender is what led me to these realizations and levels. And it's like now, every move or action requires resistance on my behalf. Resistance towards being one with nothingness. Static nonexistence. Eternal silence. Its like will is now the same as resistance. Keep in mind this is not really happening to me, even though I use the letter "I". It is beyond me as a mind/body complex. Senses dissolve, identity gets completely lost. It's happening to reality as a totality. It is literally like merging with nothingness, which is now obviously not nothing anymore. I cannot unsee what's behind the scenes. Or not be aware of it constantly, to be more exact. I literally see the formless behind everything. Moving all people, the cars, the trees, the waves, the clouds. And I also sense it moving me. It's like an invisible, super intelligent force that's curled around everything and also is everything. There is literally no difference between being touched by it or another human being or object. Even the wind blowing against the skin is it. And it is so undeniably obvious and fully experiential. On a level unlike ever before. Could not exaggerate, really. Has nothing to do with weed or paranoia. Smoked one tiny joint after a long time. In the past; used to smoke tons. And I never experienced anything like this while high. Not even nearly. Besides, it's happening also when sober. Could the deepened breath be the cause? I knew most of this stuff for a while. But it was never nearly as experiential as it is now. Such a massive shift. The more I synchronize with reality the more I become aware of the mechanics behind it, so to speak. Every tiny detail. I don't know about you, but to me it seems scary AF to be 100% aware of exactly how everything is, in real time, constantly. Why the hell would I want to be aware of how exactly I'm moving that tree? Or adjusting the brightness of the sun? The temperature? The wind? People? Designing it all in real time. It's just to much to be aware of. Leaves no space for anything at all, really. It is true, direct experience of singularity. Experienced by itself. But I suppose I am doing fine, yeah. Just have to express, I guess. In the heart, only one thing burns; Music. All of this is happening for music. Has nothing to do with me, really. I just didn't know I'd need to sacrifice myself for it. Completely. Creating music still seems far away though. It's like God is not done with me just yet. I let go of the wheel long ago. Have nothing. Live like a sage. Music is all that both I and my soul truly desire. I guess that's why death is so terrifying. No music in silence. Thanks again for the suggestions. Much love and respect.

@Leo Gura Man...What the hell is happening here really? Last night it came on again. This time I smoked one joint. One tinty little joint is all it took. And I deliberately made it super mild; not to fuck with myself. I just wanted to chill and take a break. But it seems like I cannot avoid facing God, or you know, whatever it is. I managed to dance with it last night. It was still horrifying though. I seriously don't know how to communicate this shit. Nor how to feel about it. It sucks the life out of me. No possible way to defend myself. Started out with hyper-awareness, again. I became way too aware of myself and my surroundings. I couldn't help myself but be aware of each and every shift. Each move I made - the tiniest little change in reality, felt like it was taking place on a completely different planet lol. Things stop flowing. Freezing, again. I can only describe it as stopping to spin around myself, after what seemed like an infinity. Jeez this really sounds stupid once I start explaining it. Please bare with me. On a physical level; there is this strange, swirling, tingling sensation. Usually starts out in the gut/heart area. Then it starts intensifying and expanding throughout my whole body, until it bursts outwards. The more I become aware of it, the more mechanical and unnatural it feels. Everything vibrates like crazy. I start shaking like mad. Everything turns to what I can only describe as white noise. Like grains of some sort. And it's super sterile. My body, the bed I'm lying on, the table, the chairs - the whole freaking room. And somehow, through this white noise, I am able to feel all objects - as if they were my body. Literally. It's just too much. Physically, mentally, emotionally. In all directions. Feels like my body is literally being torn apart, from the inside out. Thoughts stop flowing through, completely. As if they literally merge with the present moment. Each thought I have is the very next configuration of reality I experience. It's sooo freaking precise. It feels like every thought, which is instantly experiental at that point, is somehow stuck on repeat. Glitching. Until I become aware of it and live it out, so to speak. It's such a terrifying feeling of being trapped in the corner, all alone. And it feels so futuristic and artificial. Like I built this whole thing with some super advance alien technology. Sounds so stupid though. Moving fast and spontaneously was the only way to escape that horrible... uhm... Place. Or whatever the heck it is. I nearly ended up crying out for help here on the forum. Felt completely groundless. Topless. Infinite, yet frozen in terror. It is just unspeakable. Embodying love or hilarity was not an option until I came down to some degree. Felt good when I was finally able to laugh. Anything you can tell me to soothe me a bit? What the hell is this shit? Is it meant to be left as it is? Should I look forward, strictly? I sense there is great danger in trying to understand too much. Such a minfuck. And I haven't even bring back anything, in comparison to what actually went down. Freakin' crazy man. @Nahm??? You got anything for me? Or anybody, really? Can anyone relate to this shit? (excuse the frantic ego. cannot avoiding backlashing)

Bumped into this. Thought it'd fit in.

@zeroISinfinity You're so full of shit it amazes me. Good thing I came here to laugh Trying a bit too hard to be a zen devil. Thus you end up being neither Zen nor the Devil. Merely an insecure ego.

@zeroISinfinity God abuses himself. Don't spit on yourself now

@seeking_brilliance Swiming in the ocean is usually my break. Love surrendering to the waves. LD would not exclude thinking. Thanks for the suggestion tho. I'm sure I'll reoriented when relevant. Bless!

@zeroISinfinity Noticed that thought flying by as I was typing But that is direct experience of imagination. Not actuality. Still infinity tho.

@Soul-lover 2020 I can joke and still love you Nothing against your beliefs, judgments or assumptions. They are your birthright. Just don't forget that God loves all. God is all. Including you and me. What he is not; is a bearded man up in the sky. Christ is in all of us.

@Flatworld Crusades Creation is the product. Nothingness is the creator.

@seeking_brilliance Did see. Wanted to take some time with my response. LD brings up questions that are taking me in a different direction, if you know what I mean. Will get back at it asap Not exclusive. All-inclusive. My original post in this thread may be viewed as a backlash haha. Was experiencing more of it the following day/night. Focused on gaining conceptual understanding of crystalline consciousness and putting together the pieces of my shattered reality lol. Being is integrating. @Flatworld Crusades Yes and no. Something, but definitely not some thing. And not an entity. Formlessness. Nothingness.

@Flatworld Crusades Do not have much knowledge on auras. I can link them only to radiation. Reflection. Would not say the Aura is causing the hologram. It is appearing within it. As a byproduct. As well as the one who seems to be perceiving or reflecting it.