ivankiss

Know when to take a break and shift your focus on something else. Come back to it refreshed. I used to push myself too hard at times, and it was hell. Still; there is value in those experiences, too. It's just not the healthiest way to do this work. Establish a comfortable balance. Be in tune with your thoughts and feelings. Respect your boundaries. Cross them gently, gradually. You have all the time in the world.

It's when you play the song backwards on a guitar ?

Another popular label for this type of personality disorder is 'covert narcissist'. I am very familiar with it. Been studying it deeply for the past few weeks. Still recovering from the relationship.

I resonate with the idea. I've also had experiences that confirm this. Think of it this way; There is only one moment. One perspective. In it; anything and everything can and does happen. It is merely a matter of which frequency you're tuned in. It's just like a radio station. Right now; I'm tuned into this timeline where I'm cooking dinner and typing a comment here. Hypothetically; I could alter my frequency and tune into a reality where I'm a Pharaoh in Egypt. Or an alien in some other galaxy. Whichever; it would all be displayed right in this moment. Because that's all there is. Another way to look at it; you can imagine anything into the present moment. To the point where it becomes tangible and 'alive'.

God is 'prior' to sensation (of aloneness).

Not random but comes out of nowhere.

Buckle up, boy!

I use this forum mainly for the purpose of tracking my progress/evolution. Also like to share insights, extract cool info and have a laugh here and there.

Surrender to it. Relax. Take naps. Breathe deeper. Take long, slow walks.

There is truth in what you're saying, but it's not the entire Truth. There is more

Just watched this video. Pretty much exactly how I experienced this. Love the dude's vibe.

That all insights become something to wake up from.

In duality; the shifting is constant. In unity; stillness is.

@modmyth @Etherial Cat @SurfingthewaveGood points. Thanks! In a way; I was too. Always preferred having a girlfriend that I loved over hooking up randomly. Still; this is not the first time that I put myself in an awkward situation just because I was...khm...desperate for pussy. At some point I was. Then it all died out once we got going. I noticed I was comparing her to my ex in my mind, and that's a huge red flag. Obviously; I rushed things.

That's a good advice. Thanks. What I noticed is that the girls that I dated so far were not even nearly used to the amount of love that was radiating from my being. Also; being so transparent, genuine and real. The girl that I hooked up with the other night almost broke down in tears just because of a few things that I said and did. Being kind, warm and loving is natural to me... but I keep forgetting that not everyone is used to that. I got the feeling that her ego started melting away in my presence and she did not know what to do about it. How to act or respond. I experienced this with pretty much every girl so far, in one way or another. So the 'mistake' I've been making - I think - is that as soon as I'd notice them becoming uncomfortable I'd turn things down a notch. In extreme cases; shut down completely, even. Hence the sense of not connecting truly. The Devil is I. These girls are doing nothing wrong. It's just that I wanted to satisfy my sexual needs, even at the expense of shutting down my heart. I should clearly know better and not get involved with girls that are not really a match. I tried, it didn't feel right, must reorient.

@LessonsSavesLifes Yeah, nah... I find that whole scene quite repulsive right now. I'm 26 now. Might seem like it's 'too soon', but I feel like I've extracted everything I had to extract when it comes to sex. I've had quite a few partners, tried quite a few things and I feel like I just know what it's all about now. I got the message. The only thing that can take things to another level now is true love.

Ime; there is no 'external'. Everything is happening within consciousness. Better yet; consciousness is the only thing that's happening. Problem is; the 'ego' likes to project itself onto everything. Thus creating a belief that everything is happening inside of it. When in fact; it is happening within consciousness. This is what creates the confusion - imo. It's a misinterpretation. Hence solipsism. Consciousness is not happening within Ivan. Ivan is happening within consciousness. Big difference.

@Mannyb That was lovely, thanks! ?

Precisely ? @WonderSeeker ?

Thanks everyone. Upon more introspection; I discovered that I don't really want any sexual interactions now. It was all coming from a false sense of need. Thing is; I had plenty of sex so far. Some really good sex, too. And I've also been in several relationships. What I did not experience truly and fully; is being by myself. Having a deep, intimate relationship with myself. I see that as something relevant now. It's somewhat scary, but I also see how this could result in a tremendous amount of inner strength. What I truly desire, if I'm being honest, is to meet The One. And I guess until that happens; I'm fine with being off the market. The idea of a FWB scenario crossed my mind too, but idk, I don't resonate with it really. I must become The One, myself. And that's not gonna happen while I'm fooling around with girls that are not what I'm really looking for. This is how I feel right now. Might be a phase.

So apparently I have been living under a rock my whole life and just recently found out that there are many people who do not have an internal monologue. On the spiritual path; we focus so much on letting thoughts go, dropping the narrative, etc...and then you find out that there are people who simply do not have an inner voice. An inner critic. An inner tormentor. Can you imagine? Right now, I can stop all thoughts for a few seconds or maybe even minutes... But how about living your entire life that way? Now that's just mind-blowing. Of course the question 'are these people enlightened' arose in my mind shortly after discovering this. And my conclusion is; of course not. Enlightenment is not simply the absence of thoughts or a narrative. It's much, much deeper. However; these people might be much less stressed then those with an internal monologue. That would make sense. What are your thoughts on this? Also; are there any members here who don't have/never had an inner voice?

2+2=5

@Nahm Doesn't matter. It's funny ?

To summarize;

'Let there be Light'