ivankiss

That's actually a great spot to be in. Sometimes all you can do is lay down an breathe. Let those thoughts fly out the window.

Relax. All of that is just mind chatter. Truth feels good. It's peaceful. The confusion about what you are or are not will pass. It's just a natural reaction of your mind. Since you've challenged it big time. Calm your self down. Zoom out a bit. Do stuff you enjoy. Let the realization marinate.

@Mu_ Well, the message itself stands out, imo. I don't see too often teachers/gurus telling people not to hunt for their ego. (Directly or indirectly) ...Then again; I did not listen to all that many ? Your approach is much more relaxed and peaceful. Which is where all of this is leading us towards. So to me it only makes sense to follow the Light. I call that 'the light-tower' approach. Matt Kahn teaches that way, too - for example. In the future; I'd like to a see a new path that completely leaves the whole ego part out. I feel like things could be simplified - big time. Awakening is a natural occurrence. One can feel their way through it. More often than not, overly complex instructions/guidelines confuse and/or even misguide seekers. There's too much noise/distortion. Imo, spiritual teachers/gurus should be much more focused on what they're transmitting energetically (vibrationally) speaking. What kind of a 'space' and 'atmosphere' they're creating while transmitting. And I see you do emphasize that in your videos. I feel your presence more than I'm focused on what words you're using - if you know what I mean. To me it's much easier to - for lack of a better word - replicate your frequency and embody it that way. Then again; that's just me and my preferences.

Wonderful! Thanks everyone! @Michael569 Lots of juicy info. Stuff that definitely wouldn't cross my mind. There's a big chance I'll PM you, once I start planning everything ? Thank you! Definitely. I used to drink lots of sugary stuff throughout the day. That alone would easily cost me 30-50€ a month. So yeah, that's a no go. I cut off coffee completely a while ago... But I do need milk for breakfast and my protein shake. It's not too expensive. I can get a 12pack of rice milk for a good price. I also kinda have a thing for milk ? Dunno. That seems too light to me. My BMI is 20.9 now. And I still feel like a stronger wind could blow me away ? Building muscle is not that hard for me. I've done it in the past. But I was stuffing my face with food like a pig. I remember feeling sick often. This time I do not intend on going for such a dirty bulk. I'd rather gain mass slowly and eat clean and healthy. @Leo Gura Perhaps a bit off-topic and silly question... But what do you think... will eating twice as much as I do now and gaining significant mass affect (lower) my consciousness (baseline) ? I hear stories. @StarStruck I live in Slovenia atm. Life is pretty affordable. And my income is quite strong. I could be easily spending more on food, but I aim to invest that money into smarter things. Hence the budget. I do also plan on moving. Feeling a pull towards Thailand... No rush tho ? Got some stuff to do here first.

Well then good for ya. I'd say that's a pretty good/healthy mindset you got going on there. Best of luck!

@Shin Tell me about it. Try 4 years. 24/7. Not a single day apart. And nearly no other responsibilities whatsoever. It was a full time job. Can you say 'c o d e p e n d e n c e'

I figured it out. I now understand why I feel so damn old and tired of this. I understand why it felt to me like I was a father to my mother. I understand why I have difficulties truly connecting to anyone. Why I always climb down the ladder to meet them at their level. I understand why everyone keeps telling me my whole life that I seem so mature for my age. It's not because of anything I know. Heck; I know way less than many of those people. I am completely ignorant when it comes to some of the stuff they know and do. I always admired how well they handled stuff that to me just made absolutely no sense. For a moment; I believed I was somehow less than them, because I did not possess those skills or that knowledge. I felt small in their presence. I felt like a child in a grown up's world. Then, one day; I woke up. And for the first time I saw my face in the mirror. I saw myself as I truly was. As I never dared to believe. In that moment; it was all clear. Everything clicked into its place; flawlessly. 'Them' included. I am a feeler amongst thinkers. I feel what they say before I analyse the content of their words. And it's not really 'before'...It happens simultaneously, obviously. But it's like I can read and sense everything instantly. Before they even finish their sentence. I feel how they move. Are they tense or relaxed. In resistance or in flow. And all their word salads... That's pretty much just noise to me. More or less; unnecessary information. Garbage, even. No. I'm not trying to say that I'm an alien. Or an old soul. Or anything like that. And I'm also not pointing towards me being God in this post. This is me talking about my 'human experience' - if you will. Everyday life. What I'm saying is... simply that I'm wired to feel, while those around me are wired to (over)think. To me it feels like we literally exist on two separate planes of existence. Interacting somewhere 'in the middle'. On a third plane. It's kinda sci-fi; if I think about it. So why do I say EQ>IQ? Seems a bit arrogant, right? Well, for many reasons. The most important things in life are felt, not thought. The deepest truth and the most incredible beauty is felt and not thought. Let alone spoken. Why am I so mature? Why do I feel so ahead of my time? Because of EQ. I guarantee I am familiar and comfortable with a whole pallet of emotional colours, that 99% of people don't even know exist. And those colours are entire worlds. Filled with wisdom and beauty. Timeless truths and wonder. As I am now; I can only thank a 6 year old boy, who had nothing and nobody. I can only thank him for answering the call of Love. Love that came knocking on his door in the form of Music. Music healed me the same day I was wounded. I was dealing with what I was going through, as I was going through it; through music. I had an outlet. I also had a parent. A real one. One that loved unconditionally. I listened to music and it listened to me. It was a love unlike any. Not a hobby. Not an entertainment. It was everything. It was life. From the very first encounter. To put it simply; I was dealing with my shit from a very young age - to the best of my abilities. I did not let that much stuff pile up. I did not disconnect - as everyone around me slowly but surely did. I had a relationship with my emotions. A very deep and strong relationship. And it only got deeper and stronger over time. The level of sheer commitment and dedication that little boy had... it's just unspeakable. It was his one and only chance. One and only way. So he took a vow. It was an oath. And WOW the benefits. Other than occasionally having difficulties relating to a world that functions based on coldly calculated precision - I could not be in a better spot. I seriously feel like I've got the best seat in the theatre. And if that's coming from someone who was extremely insecure and felt incredibly small and insignificant until just a moment ago... then it must be true. I even came to like the whole cerebral, neurotic mumbo jumbo. Its slow. Laggy. Loopy. It's extremely limited and predictable. But there is beauty in it. And most importantly; there is purpose for it. It gets the job done. It's great for going from A to B and nowhere else in-between. It's an ignorant, a bit dumb and boring but very efficient straight line. That's why when I hear someone use big words but speak from an emotional space of a traumatized 12 year old... I chuckle. Or get furious. When actually; I should deepen my compassion for them.

@Shin Make that 6+ months ? Currently in such a cycle. Hopefully I learned my lesson and it's for the last time.

@Shin ? Not gonna lie, I can definitely come up with an idea for a sweet revenge. But I don't remember the last time I went down that road. If ever. A song comes to mind ? 'My sweet revenge...Will be yours...For the taking. It's in the making baby ooooh' Even the 11yr old me rocking out to this knew that revenge ain't worth it.

@RendHeaven Reading your link now... Great stuff. Definitely can relate. Hope you're doing good. @Waken Thank you ? Posting here is serious business to me. It's how I track my progress. So I try not to fool around too often.

I see value in it, too. Not quite sure tho, if I'm perpetuating it in that way. By being overly attached to it. Too familiar and too comfortable with it. True dat.

Yeah, I'm not gonna go there. I played the 'my pain is bigger than your pain' game before. It only leads to more pain. We all feel how we feel. Regardless the differences in our stories. I'm sure there are bigger atrocities and deeper pain that people went through. But in a sense; that's none of my business. I've got enough work already.

Listened to this (and more) on my way home from work yesterday. It was great. Really like your vibe. Thank you for your guidance.

@seeking_brilliance Yeah... It's the transition from something to nothing that can be bumpy ? Hope you're doing well. @RendHeaven Yup. But I don't identify with it too much. It's interesting.

@seeking_brilliance ? @traveler I lived that dream for a while. She was my Sun, my air. My lover, my friend, my partner in crime. And she was also my assassin. Truth is; in my darkest hour I was completely alone. And I feel like many can relate to that. I dreamt so long of a connection made in heaven. The more I wanted it; the further away it was. This is my only true friend right here: And it's forever.

@traveler Thanks. Asking because I never truly had one. There is a name in my mind... And that is but an old attachment.

@Megan Alecia Oh. My bad.

@Dodo @traveler Curious... What is your definition of a good friend?

@traveler Gotcha. And thanks, I guess. Did not intend to go super meta in this thread. Of course we always end up at no self yadayada. It is a story, indeed. But it has its place and a reason to be there. This thread is obviously about relating to others. So let's leave the whole 'no me no you' stuff out.

@traveler What makes you think I'm walking around telling people what's wrong with them? I'm obviously being silent most of the time about what I notice. It is when people pick on me that I say what I have to say. Or when they open up and I recognize an invitation to offer guidance. It's a very slippery slope tho, I agree. And I do have my shadows too. No doubt about it. @Waken When it clicks, it clicks ? I've still got a lot of work. And it's not unfolding in a linear fashion. Not at all. Feel your comment totally tho. Thanks.

@traveler Major projections, yup. But I understand what you mean. Yes, I do understand where people's pain is coming from and why they act the way they do. I am more often than not, more aware of their trauma than they are. It's simply an ability I have. The way I am. So yes I think I am, in that sense, more advanced than than most people. More spiritually evolved. And emotionally mature. And that took a lot of balls to admit to myself. A lot of avoidance, denial and suffering. But I'm not trying to say that I'm better than anyone else. In my eyse; we are all equal and in this together. But we are all definitely on different levels of existence. I had to learn how to be sharp and a dick even sometimes in order to survive in this environment. But I truly do not prefer that kind of behaviour. The world as it is is not meant for kind, loving people. As Sofía Vergara once said: 'It's a doggy dog world' ? I mean that this kind of behaviour is normalized and accepted. Appreciated and admired, even. And when someone is kind and compassionate; people automatically assume there is some kind of a hidden agenda. A twist. And that's quite sad. And btw; no worries. I'm not looking to be friends with intellectual jerks, either. We both safe ?

Because in the long run; being a shameless dick leads to segregation. Destruction. War, even. And correct me if I'm wrong; but all this 'work' is about becoming united and coexist in peace. Nonduality, Love 'n' shit.

Genuine kindness is so rare in our world that most people automatically assume it's fake when they encounter it. Sad but true.

Like attracts like. It's easier for a fucked up psyche to relate to a fucked up psyche. They feel at home and safe in that territory. I myself am repulsed by people with such qualities. But I do have a tendency of trying to fix them or heal them. To make them see just how toxic they're being. Which is more often than not not a smart idea. Since I expose myself to become the perfect target for their unconscious nastiness. My advice is; if you are a kind-hearted, genuine and loving person that wants to help everyone... also learn how to tell them to fuck off, politely. In case they step over the line. Because they will.

@hyruga The deeper you heal the more 'space' for awareness to dawn. The term is new to me though, thanks ?