ivankiss

@Shin I cannot be labelled or reduced to a diagnosis ?

To me it seems like the whole emotional aspect of the 'spiritual journey' goes completely unspoken of. I mean yeah; most of the gurus out there give you the basic info and maybe even a few methods on how to deal with or detach from emotions, but none of them go nowhere near as deep as Matt goes. He truly does an outstanding job portraying the whole picture. While also maintaining respect towards the one going through the journey. Honoring their experience. Many underestimate the power of emotional intelligence. Because it's so damn subtle. It flies over most people heads - imo. But it is an incredibly important aspect of being. Prior to, during and 'post' awakening. One could be using the most perfect, shiny words that resemble or point towards enlightenment. But if the emotional space from which they're speaking does not match those words - I call that bullshit. Delusion. Wannabe enlightenment.

@WaveInTheOcean Been cultivating a deeper compassion for them lately. I noticed I get triggered by ignorance here and there. Then I realized it's only ignorance to me. For what I know; they might as well be completely self-transcendent. Serving the highest good of All. These lyrics come to mind tho; 'Life is but a dream Drifting on a stream A stream Consciously it seems All of what remains Ego brain Man-made shame Shame, love after it rains You see my pain is real Watch my world dissolve And pretend that none of us see the fall As I turned to sand You took me by the hand And declared, that love prevails over all' Oh man... Chills...

There is this thing called 'Emotional Oneness'. Might wanna look into it.

If you were to be drunk for a thousand years; waking up sober one day would seem like a mystical experience.

@Mu_ Thank you. Something tells me I'll need that 'later'. I think what I've been experiencing lately is the collision of the 'inner/outer world'. A collapse of that duality. Not just in my mind - as an idea or a belief - but rather in direct experience. Everything is becoming fused to one. In everyday life. It kinda feels like reality is glued onto me. Mimicking me flawlessly. Following my each and every step. I wanna say it's like a mirror - but it doesn't feel 100% true.. Whatever the heck is going on; I'm enjoying it - most of the time. It's been a crazy ride so far. I'm eager to see where this goes. Good points about money and getting your dick sucked, too. Thanks. I have a strong definition of what I want and how to get it. It's not a question. It's a mission. But I also have plenty of room left for experimentation and exploration. Fun. I do get lost in thoughts and feelings here and there... But my eyes are on the road - most of the time ?

@Gianna Thank you. That was lovely. To summarize; 1 + 1 = 0

That it is 'mystical' or an 'experience' is an idea. A point of view.

Careful. You may see no more value in the map; now that you're home... But let's not forget it got you where you are. It's deeply significant and useful. And it can always be upgraded and improved.

Humans don't believe. 'Human' is a belief. Do you 100% believe it's round? If yes; you're kinda in the same boat with her. I understand where you're coming from... But rather than trying to point out all the ridiculous beliefs others seem to have... Try and contemplate what a belief actually is and why it pisses you off when someone believes in some other idea than you do. You will find that it doesn't really matter if you believe that the earth is round and she believes it's flat. Both are beliefs and not actuality. It's all bullshit, left and right. The left side isn't shittier than the right. They're the same shit. Actuality is blank and pure. Forever untouched by all the bullshit. So please; don't believe me.

Dobrev kat nomadi ra; Eloh geudo parra mortem.

You cannot not feel love. But I think what you're wanting to feel is bliss, joy, ecstasy - even. You can learn how to accumulate those feelings from within. There are countless ways. You know what works for you the best. But absolutely speaking; it's all Love, all the time. And becoming conscious of that can be worthwhile too.

@flume I feel like that's one of the most beautiful posts I read since I joined the forum. Will come back to it a few more times - for sure. Infinite thanks.

@mandyjw ? It's a perfect mix, but still just a perspective. Thought of it that way a few times. But thinking that can also cause a sense of unease or a desire to rush things. Anxiety, etc. I struggled long with feeling like I'm behind, or too late, or that I don't have enough time to finish my mission etc. It's exhausting. There must be a certain level of detachment in order to not go mad. Here's another random insight I had earlier: You can question yourself for an eternity and never reach confidence and certainty. Or you can be confident and certain just as you are despite all the questions. Questioning does not necessarily lead to answers. It has its place and time... but it can easily turn into an obsession. Madness. You guys... I think I'm ready to stop working so hard on myself and start living as me more. I'm excited about life, yet again.

@mandyjw Incredible. These lyrics come to mind: 'All the highs and the lows Watch me fly, watch me fall Pull me down, pick me up I convinced myself that I was invincible' and also; 'I fought a mountain and believed that I had won When I reached the top there was another mountain blocking the sun' Ahh, Life... I love that shit.

@Breakingthewall Yup. Ya'll are pointing towards the heart. Great ? Personally; I do not feel like retrieving to a cave lol ? But I am - or was believing that I am - experiencing conflicting beliefs and pulls in different directions when it comes to money, sex, creativity and more. I was feeling overwhelmed by the idea that I somehow must integrate all these aspects at once. I resonate most with the idea of experimenting a bit now, but also not straying too far away from the path I'm already walking.

Holy shit ? Has anyone here had the 'I'm suffering because I kinda like it' realization?

Missed this part. Gold. Thank you.

@Nahm I don't get it but I kinda do ?

@WaveInTheOcean In my heart I know the truth and the way. But I am experiencing a certain level of cognitive dissonance. So I'm kinda working that out a bit. Watched a few videos of Anna. She's gorgeous. And speaks the truth. @Kalo I feel you and can kinda relate. But it's the 'being lost' part that I'm not a fan of ?

@LastThursday ? This applies great on the emotional spectrum, too. For example; feeling angry or sad or anything that is commonly considered as a 'lower emotional state' does not contradict or oppose in any way feelings like bliss, joy, peace, curiosity, excitement etc. It's all just one spectrum. No actual barriers or walls to break through. No opposition.

@LastThursday Excellent! Thank you. I feel like that right there is what true self - empowerment is.

Pretty much exactly the thoughts I've been having ? I'm kinda paralyzed by choice - in my mind. But the good news is; in actuality I'm totally on the right track. Just doing some fine tuning.

Beautiful ? Can relate. Yup. That crossed my mind a few times. That hits home, yup. Thank you. Yes. But then again there's this quote: 'I never thought I'd find wisdom in being a fool.' Been feeling the power of NO lately, often. It's awesome. But I'm not used to it enough lol. Been emphasising that lately. My values are strongly defined. Sticking to them is what's bugging me sometimes ?

Everything is breathing with you, as you.