ivankiss

Sold my guitar 2 days ago. Fingers crossed I get my hands on a new one today, or tomorrow.

Yes I know I've been thinking about women and almost nothing but women for a couple of weeks now... But it's just how I roll. I go deep and I go fast. I always come to the bottom of things. Ahh... Gotta love that sense of completion... Freedom!

I hate how much this incident made me want my ex back haha! But also, I'm so fucking ready, baby! It's obvious! I rock at this relationship stuff! I don't feel like I lost hope in love, or like I now hate all women or anything like that. I'm definitely more aware and more cautious, but also, as open as ever. One at a time ladies, please.

Of course she was blowing up my phone with texts and calls. Blocked.

Holy shit I can really trust myself again huh ?! I can rely on myself! Count on myself! I fucking got me! Haha!

Jk my ex was a walk in a park compared to this chick.

Here's something truly cool... I grabbed all of my belongings yesterday, mostly. Left behind a pair of shoes and an old wallet, with all of my old Slovenian documents in it. None of which I really, truly need now. So that's ok. But here's the awesome part. In the wallet, I also had a 3yrs old love note from my ex, her picture, and half of a little silver heart with her initial on it. She has the other half. Cheesy, I know. Point is, I really didn't know what to do with those items, where to leave them behind or how to get rid of them. I was still too attached. And this... This is just the most perfect way it could have happened. I am super glad I lost that wallet. That love note was a lie too. I quite literally left the crazy with the crazy. Along with my old identity. Epic. Fucking. Win.

@Princess Arabia Thank you. All the best.

All is well. I lost some money with this, yes. Some time and energy. But I don't feel like I took too big of a hit. I walked away just on time, I'd say. With my dignity fully intact. With honor and self respect. Yeah, it's twisted, but I don't regret too much that this has happened. Somehow, I am still grateful for the experience. I feel richer and wiser because of it. It's so fucked up, it's actually kind of cool and awesome, and thinking about it puts a smile on my face. Haha. But, I definitely need to recover a bit now. If I wasn't this woke and intelligent, this would have fucked me up real bad.

That's some Amber Heard type of shit right there, I tell you that. The way she was these days, I wouldn't be too surprised if she was to take a crap on the bed. What a maniac.

God bless my Polish friend for being there for me when shit goes sideways. I am very grateful for his help, his company. These past few months would have been much more challenging without a good friend. I still can't exactly wrap my mind around this chick. Either this was just a scam and she was planing this all along... Or she's really, truly mentally ill. Also, I am 99% sure she's hooked on something. My guess is painkillers. It blows my mind how radical the shift was. She was the perfect girlfriend for 7 days straight. Could it be that she was really just putting on an act? It felt too real... She must be legit crazy and severely addicted. Or... just purely fucking evil. There is no other explanation. I took a day off because of this bullshit, of course. I really need some time for myself now. I gotta put myself back together and bounce back from this quick. I cannot afford to lose any more time. And goddamn it, no matter how right it feels or how hot the chick is, I am not getting involved with anybody now, until I finish what I started. Until I realize what I envisioned. Complete this mission. It's no joke out here, folks. You better hide your kids, hide your wives.

Checked into the hostel. Still in utter disbelief.

Safety first brother.

Aaand I'm out the door. Fuck. This. It's not worth any amount of money or pussy. It's pure madness. Hell. She went full on crazy again, because she could not find a paper to roll a smoke. Told her I'm out by Friday, she didn't like that, started getting physical, and I knew right away it's time to go. Landlord lady wanted me to stay, and I was like, thanks but fuck no. This bitch too crazy. And yes, you guessed it, I'm not the first guy she brought to the apartment. Holy fuck.

And she's not home. Haha! But something tells me she might show up later... Good news is, the landlord lady is super nice, so I'm sure I'll be able to talk to her reasonably about this situation.

Ok. Now she texted she's staying home tonight after all. I'm still outside. Pray for me.

Perhaps one of the hottest girls I ever slept with, but most definitely the craziest. I was holding back from describing her looks while I was still considering her for something serious... But man, let me tell you, that is the single most beautiful, most delicious, juiciest and sweetest pussy I have ever seen and tasted. And again, so tight, it felt like she was a virgin, and tighter. Perfect heart shaped little fit butt. Small but perfect looking titties and little pink nipples to die for. Flat belly. No cellulitis anywhere to be found. Her skin is just too fucking soft. Picture perfect little blue eyed petite blondie. Not much taller than 160cm, 53kg tops. Hyeah... I'd like to see you say no to that haha! But I knew it! I knew there was a catch, and I went with it anyways. And I don't regret it. I mean, it's fucking crazy, but it's one of those experiences you wanna have at some point in your life. And hopefully live to tell the story.

I'm laughing now but this shit is no joke. This girl is no joke. Her condition, her state, her disorder... is absolutely not a joke.

Bro. She wanted me to pay for both of our rents. And that's semi OK. I'd consider it. But then she also wanted 300€ for a debt she has back in Hungary, and 300€ for a new bike. And she wanted it... like... NOW! AHAHA! Then I was like, wait a minute, what? And she did not like that, one bit. She unleashed pure hell. And bro, it scared the fuck out of me, I tell you that. But I stood my ground. I was mostly calm and collected. Told her a couple of things. She hated it, of course. Yep. Definitely bipolar or some shit. On steroids. But... But! Something tells me, somewhere deep down she knows this, and actually wants to gift me this place. In her own words, she has other places where to sleep. So yeah. She's out the door. Said she doesn't know when she's coming back. I was like OK cool, I'm here if you wanna talk later. Holy fuck. Only in Amsterdam, I suppose.

She cannot be reasoned with.

Oh wow it's much worse than I thought.

I'll give it time until the end of the month. Then I'm deciding if I'm staying or not.

AHAHA Jk No amount of sex could fool me into another half ass miserable relationship. I have become too wise.

For that, we need to have sex every day at least twice. And the numbers are far from that now.

Something tells me though, she has the idea of me paying both of our rents. Because we're together. Or what. Ahh... Pretty girls...