ivankiss

@Emerald Much love and respect to you.

@Emerald Yup. Like how you put that. Been there, done that. Either you get real and level with yourself and each-other.. Or you leave and never look back. What was interesting in my case was that I wasn't getting off of being her daddy. . Nor was I having mommy issues.. (ok, maybe just a little) But... I was attracted as hell to her. I wanted to be her savior. Her protector. Her provider... Her... daddy? Wait a minute...

@Emerald Now we're on the same page. I'm semi-fine with the bedroom only thing. And I guess I'm totally fine with it if its done (more or less) consciously. But that's not what I'm emphasizing in this thread. It's the toxic dynamic happening before, during and after the bedroom activity. That's what most people are signing up for on the market. Not just calling someone 'daddy' in bed.

@Preety_India What do you mean? It's obvious. Consciousness.

@Preety_India Yep. But keep them kinks. God loves that shit. Just bring light to it. AKA consciousness.

@Emerald You are twisting my point. Or so it seems to me. Sorry. Nowhere am I saying that kinks are inherently abusive. Kinks can be an awesome way to work through shit and simultaneously enjoy it. And I am all for that. But that's not what's happening on the mainstream dating scene. What's happening is codependece and abuse. And the name of the game is 'daddy'. But careful not to assume here that what I'm saying is that all people who join the trend are abusers/victims. Or that the word itself is the source of all abuse. No. I'm not saying that. What I am saying is, that a lot of abuse happens because a bunch of little girls are looking for their daddies and a bunch of naughty boys are abusing that opportunity. And what I'm also saying is; that if you work on your shit... calling someone daddy simply won't be appealing or arousing anymore. At least in my opinion.

@mivafofa Sorry, did not see your post earlier. My previous post was not a response to yours. And cool, I guess.. Enjoy the show.

There can be healthy and safe ways of acting out kinks. I'm all for that. I'm kind of a kinky dude. But I am against any kind of abuse. And I also enjoy diving deep.

But it does cause harm. That's kinda the point. There is plenty of examples. The internet is full of them. Google or YT anything narcissist abuse themed and you'll hear about the damage. The guys who are abusing these girls love to be their daddies. And the girls who abuse guys are trying to turn them into their fathers. Then they go fuck another dude. Because they don't actually want to fuck their daddy. They just want a father figure constantly by their side. Boom. Mic drop.

@Emerald Ok, cool. Struggling to relate or to fully understand what you're saying, but cool. Thanks for your input.

Psychologically. Emotionally. Spiritually. (sometimes physically, too) The dynamic assumes two are not whole, steady and powerful individuals. It is - at its core - codependece. It locks you in. Preventing you from becoming a fully conscious and fully independent individual. Sounds idealistic, I know... But imagine the sex between two highly conscious individuals... Imagine that power play... Imagine that submission and that dominance... What people are now doing mostly cannot be compared to conscious sex. Not even nearly. Conscious sex is way, way more mind-blowingly epic. And I think that's something to be strived towards.

@Emerald Interesting observations. Thanks. But I keep getting the vibe you're dancing around the issue. Even if you have a perfect explanation for the dynamic; it doesn't mean that the dynamic itself is healthy or coming from a conscious space. On the surface it might seem like 'meh, it's just a damn word'... But there's much more going on underneath. Again; not saying this is absolutely so in all cases ever. But I'm pretty sure I'm not making stuff up - either. There is something funny here. And what it is; is simple. People do not work on their shit before they start fucking each other. So they enter the dating life with a bunch of mixed, unresolved, unidentified - even, emotions and ideas. The whole 'daddy' trend is simply the subconscious' way of pushing shit up to the surface. Shit that has not been dealt with.

Ok. Cool. But it is, in fact, damaging. It is - in most cases - a toxic dynamic. In some; perverted. Are you trying to say that the dating scene is perfect as it is and we should not strive to elevate the standards? Is there no room for improvement? I'm telling you guys. There's something smelly going on there. Not in all cases - but most. That's all.

Like, yeah, maybe it's about finding the perfect daddy for your children - so you're running around yelling 'daddy, daddy!' Still kinda weird, but cool. I get that it's a wildly accepted trend. Of course nearly no one questions it. They just flow with it. They're happy they're getting laid. They enjoy the emotions that come with the game. The power play. The kink. The nasty. All that jam. But if I was one of those people, at some point I'd stop and say to myself: 'Wait a minute. This doesn't smell right. Why am I calling the guy that I'm screwing daddy?' There must be a reason the trend started in the first place. And I doubt it's a healthy one.

@Harlen Kelly Haha. Hopefully I won't be that desperate for pussy.

@Emerald Something along those lines crossed my mind, too. And I guess, yeah, in that context it's cool. I just would not prefer it. But let's be honest. That's not how the majority of people are going about it. It's not healthy like that. You are way too conscious compared to the majority. The mainstream dating scene is kinda twisted. That's the truth.

@28 cm unbuffed Spreading awareness? Daddy.

@28 cm unbuffed It's not just about the word. Although using it in that context is still fucked up, but ok. It's more that these girls are literally looking for their daddy in a guy they're dating. I know what's it's like to be a father to my girlfriend, on a daily basis. It's not fun. To you it may be 'over-analyzing stupid shit'... To me it's 'common sense'. There is a very toxic underlying dynamic taking place in these types of relationships. That's the real issue.

@Preety_India So I'm not the only one. Good.

Terrible advice, sorry. Jumping into a new relationship without working on this issue would result in disaster. It would be the same shit as the previous relationship and worse. I've been in a very similar relationship as described. Except I was the one being lied to consistently. I cannot describe you the pain of the heart-break. You don't wanna keep doing that to people. Grow up and work on your shit before you go playing with other people's hearts.

Please elaborate.

You made the first (and biggest) step. You admitted it to yourself. I'd say you're in for a ride if you wish to eliminate the bad habit. It will not happen over night. Start with radical self-honesty. Your relationship towards others will eventually change too. But the relationship you have with yourself is far more important. As a side-note; I'd look into self-judgement and any deeply rooted insecurities. Those are likely to be the source of your lies. Also; trauma. Best of luck.

All polar opposites balance each-other out perfectly. Bliss and suffering. Heaven and Hell. God and The Devil. All of those are perceived dualities. Only Oneness is Absolute. In that sense; I'd say you're wrong. But I get what you mean. The bad screams in your face. While the good might be difficult to notice sometimes. But it's always there.

It's one thing to disagree with someone and another to demonize them. I'm sorry you went through that struggle. I can kinda relate. But I would not blame Leo or anyone else for it. It's hard to blame when you see it's been you, all along. Leo definitely has his shortcomings. And so do we all. We should not be demonizing each other because of that.

Might happen. Thanks!